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Wednesday,  Sept 7,  2011     Vol 2749 - 62 Truck


In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Perry cut Fire Dept by 75%
Arrow I'm So Afraid of Chaz Bono
Sarah Palin Nude!!!
Arrow Obama's e-mail fundraiser
Arrow My Advice for Mitt Romney
Arrow Al Gore: Please Run for President
Arrow Spend more time w/ Marilyn 


Halloween is just around the corner!

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"So, Beyonce and Jay-Z are having a baby.
  That kid will have everything but a last name."
--  Sam Young, a London DJ in a Tweet

Send e-mail to Bart

Perry cut Fire Dept budget by 75%
  Who needs all that wasteful spending?


Rick perry slashed state funding for the volunteer fire departments that protect most of the state
from wildfires like the ones that have recently destroyed more than 700 homes.
Volunteer departments that were already facing financial strain were slated to have their funding
cut from $30 million to $7 million, according to KVUE.
The majority of Texas is protected by volunteer fire departments. There are 879 volunteer fire departments
in Texas and only 114 paid fire departments. Another 187 departments are a combination of volunteer and paid.

For that reason, aid from the FEMA could be more important than ever to the raging wildfire state.
Monday, Perry promised to seek federal disaster relief and said FEMA would arrive Wednesday.
Perry has been highly critical of FEMA in the past, but he said
now was not the time to worry about reforming the agency.

Why is there no sanity left in America?

They're selling the lie that BIG OIL needs that money more than Texas firefighters and, as always,
our idiot Democrats can't figure how to make a political issue out of this.

There are times when I say to myself, "Why f-ing bother?"
We keep fighting and Obama keeps surrendering to Boehner.

Maybe I should change this into a show business blog...

Send e-mail to Bart

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Michelle Bachmann's husband
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Tulsa Temps at Record Low

It was like throwing a switch.
It was 106, now it is 83 and 54 at night.

Next week we'll get 22 inches of snow.

Subject: 'This e-mail will offend you'

Hey Bartcop,
I imagine a lot of your readers are getting fund raising letters from Obama at this point.

I'm forwarding my response to them; but do you have any specific advice to us
that will help get the point you've been making about fighting back, across to them?

Even this fundraising email they sent out, which should be full of red-meat,
seems to promise nothing but more politeness from Obama.

And they're asking for $190 to do that!?!


"No, I won't contribute because Obama is a walking surrender machine.
 Why should I donate when Obama is taking his orders from John Boehner?
 If President Mouse turns into a man, I'll contribute, not till then.
--  e-mail response from Bartcop to Jim Messina, Campaign Manager, Obama for America

  I realize that was pointless, but it felt right.
  Obama is NOT going to change.

  He's going to continue with his "Let's work together" campaign
  while the GOP continues to kick him in the teeth - every time...

Send e-mail to Bart

I'm So Afraid of Chaz Bono
Don't let your kids watch DWTS this year!!!
 by Dr. Keith Ablow (R-Handjob)


"Many of the children watching (Dancing With The Stars) will be establishing a sense of self which
includes a sexual/gender identity. Young viewers will include tomboyish girls and sensitive boys.
They will also include children who have sustained the losses of loved ones and are wrestling with
depression, perhaps wondering who they are absent their deceased mothers or fathers."
Hey asshole, what does Chaz Bono have to do with grieving for dead relatives?
Ablow continued, "The last thing vulnerable children and adolescents need, as they wrestle with the
normal process of establishing their identities, is to watch a crowd in a studio audience applaud for
someone whose search for an identity culminated with the removal of her breasts, the injection of
steroids and, perhaps one day soon, the fashioning of a make-shift phallus to replace her vagina."

Hey asshole, all Chaz Bono wants to do is dance.
YOU are the person talking about replacing a vagina with a make-shift phallus.

This reminds me a little bit of impeachment.
Clinton did something wrong, quietly, behind closed doors.

Then the GOP said, "That's so wrong, we must make it the top story on the nightly news
for TWO YEARS and let's make oral sex regular dinner conversation for our children."

They'll push Chaz Bono into as many spotlights as they can when all he
wants to do is dance and (I assume) have a career in show business.

Last thing:
I'll bet Chaz doesn't torture anyone.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't murder anyone.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't kidnap anyone to another country so they can be tortured.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't lie 5,000 brave American soldiers into an early grave.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't drop "the mother of all bombs" on a city of 5 million people.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't empty out the Treasury for his crooked, oil-based cronies.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't steal 30 million homes from taxpaying Americans.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't cause 90M Americans to have to go on food stamps.
I'll bet Chaz doesn't send Planet Earth into bankruptcy.

If we're going to call out evil, then let's be honest
about who the evil sons of bitches are.

Send e-mail to Bart

Check out the news and toons at

bart blog

  on the Bart Blog!

Subject: alternative to Obama

No one will run against him in the primaries because if they do
his camp will play the race card like they did with Hillary & Bill in 2008.
 Bob in Orlando, FL

I agree.
That was the most bold/disgraceful political move I've
ever seen from a team working to elect a Democrat.

So what made them turn into mice?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: your stock game

The dollar is doomed (as is most other fiat currency), therefore it doesn’t matter if stocks go up or down.

Monopoly money might be our next currency, since most every household already has a pile of the stuff
shoved somewhere in the kids closet. But hang onto the dollar if you don’t mind paying a couple thousand
of them for your next loaf of bread.
If you’re not in gold or silver yet, you might seriously consider it.

I disagree 100%.

The super-rich bought gold at $300, then $600, then $900.
Then they bought 1,000 commercials saying "Buy gold now!"

They bought Glenn Beck and others to promise that "Obama was destroying America,"
which made the buying of gold essential for anyone who wanted to eat during the apocalypse.

Fear made gold rise, but then Beck lost his FOX job
because the fear factor was no longer selling like it once did. 

Nobody knows when gold will crash, but when it does, it'll crash hard.
Those $1800 American Eagles could be worth $400 when gold crashes.

I'm old enough to remember 1980.

The Hunt Brothers ran silver up to $50 an ounce.
Sixty days later silver was worth $10.

All the people who are buying gold now are going to lose 50-80% of their money.

When "the gold bubble" pops, it's going to be very ugly.

Send e-mail to Bart

Sarah Palin Nude!!


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Carlyle Group upcoming IPO

I posted a thread in Democratic Underground that you may find interesting. 
I know you've written about the Carlyle Group in the past...
I guess they've bled the Treasury dry, now they're going after "investors"
Take care and keep up the good work,
  Leigh Ann

You are correct! 

Now that they've emptied the Treasury and stolen the life savings of
100 million Americans,
they're going for every nickel, dime and quarter that's still not in their hands.

Oil men - there is no cap on their greed.

Send e-mail to Bart

Yet Teabaggers keep screaming "nigger" at the White House.

The real answer is...

Advice for Mitt Romney

If I was advising the Romney campaign,
here's what I'd tell them to do:  Nothing.

I can't see any way that voters will gamble on another talks-to-God, rootin'-tootin'
moron from Texas. Last time we did that, things got so bad, America was so recoiled
they elected a Black guy with no experience.

Romney should just stay below the radar and let the whore media feed on Perry.

He will self-destruct (he's NEVER done an interview, he's NEVER done a debate)
as soon as America sees that he's just another Bush - but this time without the "brains."
Besides, the Bush Bastards hate Perry and they're the kings of all smears.

I'll bet there's enough dirt on Perry to put out those Texas fires.

Remember in 2008, our whore media was so pro-Bush, they wouldn't even ask,
"How many times have you been arrested for a felony?"

Contrary to what you remember, Bush ran un-opposed in 2000.
Perry doesn't have that luxury.

I can't wait for the Teabagger wars - Palin vs Perry, Bachmann vs Perry,
Romney vs Perry - and that could start TONIGHT!

...and Obama could use that ammo against the eventual winner.

But he won't - because that's not "nice."

<Bart does a shot>

Why did I get into politics?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Why Democrats hate Carville

They don’t like Carville for two reasons.
1. Who he sleeps with…
2. Because Carville, like Bill Clinton, wasn’t liberal enough.

And now, we Democrats wished we had a Democratic President as liberal as Richard Nixon who created the EPA.

History is a practical joker who will prank people until they get a clue or end up on the wrong side of dirt.

Keep swinging the hammer.

You have a point - Democrats hate winners.
In the Demo party, you succeed at your own peril.

Send e-mail to Bart

Business slow?
Time to advertise!

Banner ads by the day,
by the week,
or by the monff

Click Here to get more Hits

Even if business is slow,
let people know you're still here.

Aerosmith sales up 250%
Since Steven Tyler appeared on Idol


Some people said Tyler on Idol would be a disaster.

Then Tyler invited his band to play the Idol finale - they declined.
Now he's put extra millions in each member's pocket.

Next time Aerosmith tickets go on sale,
expect people to be hurt and glass to be broken.


Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Guns
Bart, if you carry you must always be thinking about killing or being killed.

I must?
I think the opposite is true.

If I'm not carrying a gun, I need to wonder how to protect myself.
If I'm carrying, that's not a problem.

I rarely "carry" a gun, but one is always nearby.
Too much of your brain power is being wasted. Higher order thinking is impossible.
Your adrenaline is poisoning you constantly.That is why Mercans are stupid.

I did not know Mexicans were stupid.
Did you hear that on FOX News or did Rush say it?

Look at the mess the gun toting morons have made.
Civilization is about climbing out of the abyss of kill or be killed.

If I could have one wish it would be to have every gun fired
back fire and explode into the shooters face, every time.

Mercans, so stupid they will bring a gun to an ambush.


Send e-mail to Bart

Al Gore: Please Run for President

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: your 'read one sentence' dare

I was actually skeptical, but clicked through anyway. Yes - that was an awesome story.
And an excellent reminder that the people taken from us in America's "War on Drugs"
include many of our best and brightest too. But that's what always happen when you
convince a country that "those people had it coming", isn't it.

I think we all underestimate how embarrassing the "War on Drugs"
will inevitably be to future generations of Americans.


Send e-mail to Bart

New Feature - Lying Rethugs

Proof that Victoria Jackson is Lying

It's possible that Victoria Jackson is
too stupid to get into the Tea Party.

Bumper Stickers!

$6 each, (minimum of two)
any four for $16
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Let's play a stock game

BTW, I bet every penny, the whole $10,000, that the DOW will fall.
Whatever the DOW was on Sept 1, compared to where it'll be Oct 1.

I don't know how to figure that, but someone will know.

Good luck to all who entered.

If you want to play, you can get in Oct 1.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: 'House' and politics

How do you know House is in Jail?
The last I saw, he was strolling down a beach somewhere.
Did I miss something?

My first clue was the chalk marks on the wall of his prison cell  :)

Politically, Just how many more election cycles do we have left
where it's going to be the lesser of two evils, my friend?

And how many do we have left where we once again
get excited only to get kicked in the ass one more time?

This shit is getting really old, and so am I...
Take care...
   Wit, the liberal with a gun

You're right.
It's depressing to be in a position where we hope Mr. Surrender wins.

I believe he will, and then we have for four more years of President Boehner.

Send e-mail to Bart

If you saw the last House in May, you know he got mad
at Cuddy and drove a car into her living room - now he's in jail.

There are two other TV leading men in jail.

Who are they?

One is Steve McGarret on Hawaii 5-0
They say he shot the governor but they
didn't find a gun or GSR on his hands.

The other is The Mentalist
 When my good friend Bradley Whitford
(He sent me an e-mail once) told Patrick Jane
"Your daughter smelled like peaches and
cream just before I murdered her,"

Patrick, who HATES guns, put two in his chest.

Good for him.
I assume the jury lets him go...

Today's Hot Mystery Celebrity


Can you ID today's hot Mystery Celebrity?

Last issue's Hot Mystery Celebrity  Link  was Eva Longoria.
It said so on the picture,
 Steve C

Steve, funny - you were the only person who got it.

Send e-mail to Bart

Photo by Astrocat

Name that Song!


Send e-mail to Bart

The Rescue Me finale

I'm a little nervous about tonight's final episode.

I read some Internet scuttlebutt that Tommy survives the massacre,


...the whole series was based on Tommy's 9-11 survivor's guilt.

If he survives another major crisis where his friends don't, won't that
throw him further over the edge that drove him crazy in the first place?

I'm going to watch.

Send e-mail to Bart

Wildlife Close-up


Visiting our sponsors puts food on Bart's family...

Send e-mail to Bart


To all those crazies who said,
"God sent Katrina to punish New Orleans for allowing gay people in their parades,"
what is your take on the Tejas wildfires?

Why is God punishing Rick Perry and those Tejas Republicans?

You can't have it both ways:

Either God uses nature to punish sinners - or he doesn't.


Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery City


 Can you guess the city?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: last issue's mystery city

Bart, Last Issue's Mystery City  is Baton Rouge, Louisiana. 

The barely-visible white building that looks like a castle was built to house the state legislature,
which moved to Baton Rouge from New Orleans, in 1847.  In 1932 the legislature moved into
the current state capitol, the tall gray skyscraper on the skyline.
 PQ in New Orleans



Send e-mail to Bart

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Today's History Mystery


Who is today's Mystery Person? 

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: last issue's history mystery

What is last issue's History Mystery?

Bart, it's scary, but this is the Iron Lung. 
It was used to treat polio during the 50's before
Dr. Jonas Salk came up with a vaccine and eliminated Polio.
  Tom Y

Tom, you are semi-correct!

Salk's TEAM, headed by my good friend Dr Julius Youngner,  kicked polio's ass.

I think everyone who doesn't have polio should send Dr. Younger at least $10 a year.
I think he's one of the greatest American heroes ever!

Can you imagine spending your life inside a coffin?

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Bart - Haven't been able to shoot any juice your way, but I just
got a little flush so send me the corporate tax evader sticker.

Keep telling the truth about Obama - this man brings a blow job to a knife fight.
  Scott in L.A.

Scott, thanks for that.

You put kibble in Dax and Rusty's food bowls.

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