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Weekend-Monday,  Jan 5-7,  2013    Vol 2994 - Mercifully and mercilessly

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow 2016 is Hers - if She Wants It
GOP Clown Car Crashes Again
Stigmatizing Mental Illness
Arrow "Cash only" at the Vatican
Arrow Goodbye to the Insane Bunch
Arrow Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
Arrow That 70s Gal - Mila Kunis


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"As a comedian, you can't not have disdain for what he's done: He totally sold out.
  He was a master chef who opened a Burger King."
    --  Jimmy Kimmel, slamming the very unfunny Jay Leno     Link

  Send e-mail to Bart

2016 is Hers - if She Wants It
by William Hudec


It is indeed early, but speculation is riding high as to Hillary in 2016.

Considering her, Carville said, "Every Democrat I know says, 'I hope she runs.' "
Carville added, "We don't need a primary, let's just go to post with this thing."

Newt Gingrich said of Hillary, "The Republican Party is incapable of competing at that level."

So, no matter how they attempt to twist and spin to make 2016 look interesting,
if Hillary wants to be the our candidate in 2016, the nomination is hers.

And after she gets the nomination, she will be this nation's 45th president.

...anybody wanting to bet against Hillary?

Send e-mail to Bart

GOP Clown Car Crashes Again

  by Joe Conason


Observing the GOP repeatedly stumble in and out of their caucus clown car, blowing loud kazoos
and muttering angry threats, should be painful, embarrassing, and highly instructive to any American
voter with the patience to watch. When their latest performance concluded late Tuesday night with
a 257 to 187 vote passing the stopgap fiscal deal negotiated by the Senate and the White House,
an unavoidable question lingered: What is wrong with those people?
The simple explanation is that the House of Representatives has increasingly been dominated over
the past two decades by a coterie of tantrum-prone extremists, who lack the probity and steadiness
required for democratic self-government. Their diminished capacity is reflected in the low quality
of leadership they have chosen during this long twilight, from Newt Gingrich, Dennis Hastert and
Tom DeLay to John Boehner and Eric Cantor, even as their politics have grown more and more extreme.
Under the stress of their incoherence, the Republican caucus is unable to escape one humiliating
mess after another. The damage they routinely inflict on the country is reaching incalculable levels
- and is almost certain to grow worse when they again hold the debt ceiling hostage next month.

Well, I feel better - don't you?
What will the snarling dogs be like after they lose in 2016?

FOX News will say the Republicans they lost 2016 because they weren't extreme enough.
The vulhar Pigboy will say they lost because they weren't mean enough to minorities.

So the Teabaggers will double-down in 2016 and be 3 times the asshole Romney was - if that's possible.

The only chance they have at the White House is admitting they were wrong and opening their
arms and their party to joining Democrats in welcoming "those people" and that's NOT going to happen.

They'd rather die first ...and that's OK by me.

  Send e-mail to Bart

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Stigmatizing Mental Illness
  by Gene Lyons


Of all the outrages to decency and common sense during Wayne LaPierre’s bizarre
Sandy Hook press conference, the most offensive may have been his depiction of
America as a dark hell haunted by homicidal maniacs.
“The truth,” LaPierre insisted, “is that our society is populated by an unknown number
of genuine monsters — people so deranged, so evil, so possessed by voices and driven
by demons that no sane person can possibly ever comprehend them. They walk among us
every day. And does anybody really believe that the next Adam Lanza isn’t planning his
attack on a school he’s already identified at this very moment?”
Monsters, evil, possessed. Demons, for the love of God.
Is this the 21st century, or the 17th?

In LaPierre’s mind, like many adepts of the gun cult, it follows that every grown man and
woman must equip themselves with an AR-15 semi-automatic killing machine with a 30-round
banana clip to keep monsters out of elementary schools. Die Hard: With a Blackboard.

I'm sure somebody has pointed this out, but I haven't seen it so I'll say it:
If all the teachers at school carry assault rifles, what happens if they have a bad day?

If Teacher A finds out his wife is banging Teacher B, and he's got an AK-47 at hand,
isn't he a hundred times more likely to kill Teacher B compared to someone who
found out - but then calmed down before he had a chance to seek revenge?

Maybe the biggest problem the NRA has is they don't just want everyone armed.
They want everyone armed with a weapon that can kill 26 people in a few moments.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Let's hold Republicans Hostage


 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Zeppelin

Bart, when I got my first set of drums I wanted to be Ringo Starr.

You must be older than me :)

Then I wanted to be Stewart Copland.
Then I wanted to be Neil Peart.
Then I wanted to be Buddy Rich.
Led Zeppelin were fine as live performers, but they STOLE virtually ALL of their
good songs from other people, and then lied about it, until they were forced in court
to finally give credit to the actual authors of the original material.

You only get accused of theft when you hit it really, really big.
On their best night, however, they weren't half the live act that The Who were.
 Sergio in Akron

ha ha

Are you pulling my lariat?
Is that you, Artie?

I can say this:
Pete Townsend used to jump a lot higher than Jimmy Page ever did.

I'm glad you have a passion for music.

Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Don't Look Down Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Let's fight about Zep


People want to weigh in on this...

  Send e-mail to Bart

Let's Stop Coddling the Rich
...if you really want to fix the deficit



  Send e-mail to Bart

Wal-Mart vs The Morons


Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer.
Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and they did this in only 15 years.

During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

The writer goes on to praise Wal-Mart, saying we should make them our government because
they really know how to run a big company, which makes as much sense as
saying we should
make Quentin Tarantino president because his films always make a profit.

Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Demo-peaceniks?

Because you have long had the Neocon attitude regarding starting wars
("Any war we can start in the Middle East is a good war").

 *I* wrote that?

 Were we drinking when we sent that e-mail?

 Everything I've ever written in still online.
 Which issue was that in?

 This is the same problem I had in the summer of 2008.  
I lost hundreds
 of subscribers because of "all the terribly racist things I wrote about Obama,"

 but when I asked for an example of my racism, they couldn't quote me.
If you can't point to it, maybe it never happened?

 But, when you compare me to the liberal peacenik who says,
"Violence is ALWAYS wrong - I wouldn't fight you even if you were stealing my kids,"
then yes, under those circumstances I'm ready to go to war.  You should be, too.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Donation to you!

My wife and I won the Euro Millions Lottery & will be donating £1.5 Million Pounds
to you in our ongoing lucky draws donations. Please get back to us with your Name, Age,
Tel, Country and i will send you more details how your funds will be sent to you.

Please read the article
 Gillian & Adrian Bayford


Cool! Now I can quit this no-money-making job and...

Eh, ...What?

That's a scam? get my bank account number?

Oh No - what have I done?

 Send e-mail to Bart

We ARE accepting bids on Steve's fine art
and the opening bid doesn't have to be $200.

Subject: fund-raising with art

Bart --  Interestingly, the past couple of days I'd been thinking exactly what
Mario the Photographer suggested so I attached a couple of photos for you: 

A black and white and a colored drawing -- pick one or use both if you wish.

People tend to be more attracted to color but I prefer my black and whites. 
I sell my drawings for $200 to give you an idea of the value I place on them.

Hope this idea brings in some cash for you...
 Steve in Nevada City, CA    See more of Stephen's art HERE

                   The Juggler is 9x12 and Beautiful Day is 11x11.5.

So, what would you bid for this original art?

  Send your bid for art to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff
every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

See more at

Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer

We do the repairs magically, over the Net.

Goodbye to the Insane Bunch


Ah. Another legislative session over, another swearing in of a whole new class of
bright-eyed, bushy-tailed lawmakers, eager as all get-out to start protecting the rich,
screwing the poor, and grandstanding about 'Merica and light bulb freedom and
shrinking the gubmint so it's small enough to drown in a bathtub—or fit inside a vagina.

But before we welcome the newest members, let us take a moment to say so long, farewell,
please-oh-pretty-please let the door hit you on the way out to those extra-special sons of bitches
we can't wait to not miss:

The deadbeat dad.
The pimp daddy centerfold.
The not-intended-to-be-a-factual-statement maker.
The pouty teabagger.
The lunatic.
The magic-believing misogynist.
And of course, Joe Lieberman.

Maybe with Lierbeman gone, we'll get less of Douche Blitzer's ridiculous giggling
each time he calls Kissyface, Graham and McCain "The Three Musketteers."

   Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery Car


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Car    Link

Bart,  it’s a 1947 Lincoln Convertible
  Michael in Oregon

  Send e-mail to Bart

Know Your Classics


 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Hi, Bart.
Gotta be from Roots by Alex Haley.
 Phillip R.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Is it real or photoshop?

 Send e-mail to Bart

"Cash only" at the Vatican
Italy cut them off for "irregularities"


Italy has blocked the use of credit and debit cards in the tiny autonomy of
the Catholic Church, because of concerns over financial transparency,
inconveniencing tourists - one of the Vatican's biggest sources of income.

The world keeps changing.

In 2001, I was smarter than the president of the United States
and now I have better credit than Da Vinci-owning Benny the Rat.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Know your Supermodels


 Subject: Last issue's supermodel     Link

 Bart, I’m thinking that’s Laetitia Casta.
  Mark the Dentist

  Send e-mail to Bart

They say this is the most re-tweeted photo ever.

Dumbest Facebook Post Ever?


An Oregon teenager has landed himself in the county jail for posting
about his drunk-driving hit-and-run escapade.

"Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P"
was the post that led to the arrest of Jacob Cox-Brown in Astoria, Oregonn.

Upon reading that post, two of Jacob's friends called the cops.

The police went to Jacob's house and arrested his dumb ass.

"Hi, I'm Jacob, the idiot/felon."

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Wildlife Photo



Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Folsom Prison Blues


Well now, I never thought the man was necessarily in prison in Folsom for that exact
crime in Reno. Preceding mention of the unpleasantness in Reno, he reaches way back
to his childhood, when his Momma told him not to play with guns, then "but I shot a man
in Reno, just to watch him die".

So, it may be that the murder in Reno was just the turning point in his life where he forgot
Momma's lessons and started his life of crime, which eventually, with who knows how
many crimes in between, led him to be stuck in Folsom Prison.
You could also say that it is a loooooong train ride from Folsom "down to San Antone",
too, over 1700 miles. That's a lot of coffee and cigars...
 Kevin K in Washington, DC

Subject: Folsom Prison Blues

Q: If Johnny Cash shot a man in Reno (Nevada) just to watch him die,
why did he do time in Folsom Prison in Cully-fornia?

A: Federal Crime. Federal prison. Doesn't have to be in the same state as the crime.

Not an educated answer...just a likely one.
 Gino in Isanti, MN

Send e-mail to Bart

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Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo 


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity    Link

 Bart, that's Stefania-Sandrelli, an Italian actress from the 60s.
  Mark with no last name

 Mark with no last name is hard to stump.

  Send e-mail to Bart

The GOP's War on women FAILED
We're fighting the anti-progress GOP - can you help?

Support  the way the racists supported Chick-fil-A

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Hey, I think he stole that from me... :)

Today's Mystery City



Subject: last issue's Mystery City    

Bart, that's the entrance to the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock, AR.
And yes, it does have a section on impeachment and Monica.
  Paul in Little Rock

Paul, there SHOULD be a section on impeachment - because it happened.

I wonder how prominent the Arming Terrorists exhibit is in the Reagan Library, if at all?

I wonder how prominent the I-had-to-pardon-Reagan's-cabinet-to-stay-out-of-prison
exhibit is in the Bush-the-Smarter Library, if at all?

I wonder how prominent the I-got-5,000-soldiers-killed-trying-to-one-up-my-Daddy
exhibit is in the Bush-the-Dumber Library, if at all?

I've said it a thousand times: All we have to do is list the facts and we look pretty good.
The GOP can't list the facts because they are guilty, guilty, guilty.

Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?   


Subject: last issue's History Mystery    Link 

Bart, you almost had me on this one. 
That is Hal Smith, better known as “Otis Campbell”,
the town drunk from The Andy Griffith Show.

His is one of those faces you know by heart,
but sometimes say “where did I see him?”
He provided the voice for lots of familiar cartoon characters,
including “Yappee” from Yippee, Yappee, and Yahooey”
  Rick the Business Analyst

Subject: last issue's History Mystery

That’s Hal Smith who played Otis Campbell on Andy Griffith.
My favorite character and the one I modeled my life after.

ha ha

Subject: last issue's History Mystery

Hi Bart,
I am having a hard time telling if it is John Boehner or Otis Campbell

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Bart, thanks for ten years of keeping me sane.
Best wishes to you, Mrs. Bart and the Bart Critters,
 Pauline in Hayward

Pauline, you're the best - thanks.


Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.  
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