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Wednesday  Feb 13, 2013    Vol 3014 - On the menu

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Benny the Rat Pulls a Palin
Sorry about The Crap Bucket
Benny the Rat's real motives?
Arrow Bush bastards' emails hacked
Arrow Brett Farve Survives Tornado
Arrow Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
Arrow Showtime's  Emmy Rossom



"Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Nugent. The GOP's response to the
  State of the Union has turned into a visual aide to explain devolution."
  --  LOLGOP in a tweet

  Send e-mail to Bart

Benny the Rat Pulls a Palin
First Quitter Pope in 600 Years

So, Benny the Rat is now Benny the Rat-Quitter.
He's obviously lying about the "failing health" excuse, so what's the real reason?

Does he want to spend more time with his family?  (snark)     Thanks to Chicago Jim

They say he'll have no say in his we-promote-rape replacement, but trust me, Benny
stacked the College of Cardinals with every Bachmann, Cheney, Santorum, Rick Perry,
Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Allen West, Steve King, pro-child rape conserevative he could
find to guarantee that the catholic's worldwide child rape spree will continue forever.

That's why the Catholic Church exists - to promote child rape.
Like the US military and cruise ships - rape is on the menu.

The Catholics just make everything worse by raping kids.

"Bart, you don't have kids - why do you care?
 What we do with kids is not your concern."

  Send e-mail to Bart

Shop Online  sells  everything

Find your purchase
then come back here
and use this link

and they'll throw the Treehouse some pennies...

Amazon business has been slower than usual.
I hope things pick up between now and Christmas
because Amazon has become my financial lifeline.

Extra thanks to those of you who
use the Amazon Portal.

Someone bought an Exerpeutic Inversion Table
for $93 (Damn cheap!) so Amazon donated $3.70 to the Treehouse! 

I think everyone should have a kinky sex chair

Thanks for using this link

Buy online
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Look for 'bartcop' in the link when you place the order.


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Sirius XM 

Midnight - 3 AM

Sorry about the Floating Crap Bucket
Maybe Carnival Cruises just has bad luck?

Carnival Cruise officials apologized today for the crisis on the Carnival Triumph, the fire-damaged
crap bucket that has been stranded in the Gulf of Mexico. There are 4,200 people on board, living with
baggies for toilets and a stench that would level Tacoma. The cruise line said it would get passengers
home as quickly as possible when the ship is pulled ashore soon, depending on the wind direction.
Carnival said original plans to haul the crippled crap bucket to Progreso, Mexico, have been scrapped
because the rudderless crap bucket with 4,000 souls aboard drifted about 90 miles north in strong currents.
Instead, the Triumph is being towed to Mobile, Ala., and should arrive Thursday, with some luck.
Passengers on the ship have reported worsening conditions, including scarce running water,
no air conditioning and long lines for food.  They've been sleeping on the deck to avoid the stench.
Can you imagine  4,000 people with no working toilets for days?
"Let me assure you that no one here at Carnival is happy about the conditions aboard the ship
 and we are obviously very sorry," said Carbival CEO Gerry Cahill, making everything better.

This is why we didn't get to cruise to Alaska.

Mrs. Bart doesn't mind if the plane goes down in flames but no plumbing?  No way.

  Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Pope's resignation

Bart, the Pope's resignation was due to the HBO Documentary that came out just a few days ago. 
The evidence was so true, he had to spend more time "with his old age".
 Nancy M

Nancy, I don't know if that's the case. We've seen proof that NO amount of child rapes
will get Catholics upset enough to demand that action to prevent abuse be put into place..

You and I met over a decade ago at Carville's restaurant in Washington DC.
I remember walking the DC streets and seeing a newspaper headline in April 2002
about the thousands of child rapes that had been discovered and now, almost 11
years later, Catholics are still "shocked" that these daily child rapes continue.

The only conclusion one can draw is the rank-and-file Catholics are OK with
the rampant and blatant serial child rapes arpund the world.

What other explanation is possible?

Here's a test we've taken once before:
Pick ANY America city (I'm sure it works overseas, too) and since we just
had the Super Bowl. let's take the two cities of Baltimore and San Francisco.

Baltimore Priests upset by release of abuse list

Baltimore priests responded with sadness and anger yesterday after the release of a detailed
account of Roman Catholic clergy accused of child sexual abuse over the past seven decades,
expressing concern that the church is trying to quell scandal at the expense of their rights.

That's why the Catholic Church exists - to rape little boys. Benny the Rat was the
rape compliance officer for the Catholics and the abuse ran rampant for decades.

They always say, "There's a few bad apples in efety barrel," but that's a lie.
Punch in "Plumber sex abuse scandal" or "Mechanic sex abuse scandal"
and you won't find 10% of the sex abuse these organzied Cathiolcs are running.

Sex-abuse allegation against S.F. Priest

A longtime Roman Catholic priest in San Francisco has been put on leave after
church authorities learned of an allegation of sexual abuse dating from the 1970s.

Pick any American city and thenm read about the priests raping kids there.

I was never abused by a priest (or anybody) and I can prove it.
The church I went to as a kid has NOT been burned to the f-ing ground.

I just hate bullies and child rapists and people who enable such behavior.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Advertise        with,

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Don't let Bush's recession beat you.

Fight back!

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Bush bastards' emails hacked
Let's all take a moment and feel bad for them


The Secret Service said Friday that it is investigating the theft of e-mails from the Bush family,
after an apparent hacker leaked the ­e-mails and Bush family photos to the Smoking Gun.

The Smoking Gun’s report included excerpts from e-mails in which the bad seeds of Herbert
Herbert Bush discussed his severe illness in December and made plans for a possible funeral.

The site also posted paintings made by Der Monkey Fuhrer including purported self-portraits
of the torture maturbator in the shower and the bath.

On the TV news they said the Bush bastards whined about this "terrible invasion of privacy."


oming from the murderer who OK'd the federal government reading everybody's mail?

  Send e-mail to Bart

America's beaches with no Democratic Party

Brett Farve Survives Tornado


Brett Favre endured a tornado over the weekend.  The storm missed Favre’s
property in Hattiesburg, Mississippi by less than a mile, and he’s surprised
that the tornado resulted in no fatalities.
“Nobody was killed!” Favre said . "Can you believe it?’ Amazin’.”
Favre had just returned home when the storm hit the Southern Miss campus.
"The tornado started probably a half-mile to one mile straight east of my property,”
Favre said. “Then it just veered and crossed the main highway in Hattiesburg before
heading to Southern Miss.  You never hear of a college getting hit with a true tornado." 

They said this was Farve's third tornado in Mississippi - in 18 months.
Whoever heard of tornadoes in February in Mississippi?

Tornado Alley has moved, but nobody talks about it - or why it moved.

I guess Jim Inhofe wouldn't like hearing that.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart


"Todd and I find it sad to see that flags aren't flying at half staff for this American hero."
  -- Sarah Palin, in Dallas, screeching at Gov Rick Perry for dissing the troops,   Link

 As you know, I really really love this Rove vs Teabagger civil war the GOP has going on.
 Now if we could just get crazy Palin and nutty Perry to open a second war theater...

 We need them to turn on each other and fight like the animals we know they are
 for about three years, then let them come together in the summer of 2016 just in time
 for Hillary to kick Rubio's sorry teabagger ass.

  Send e-mail to Bart

There's a reason why some people don't have kids


 Send e-mail to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff
every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

 Subject: Fuck you

Fuck you on your bias, 
you say stupid bicycle but not stupid baseball or stupid ten pins  
 Kevin McManners

McMonkey, were you attempting to make a point?
If you could scrape together enough words to form a thought perhaps we could communicate.

Guessing at what you might have been trying to say, I've always been consistent.

When you have a judge deciding who won, like in boxing, you get corruption.

To prevent that, if the bowling pins fall, it's a strike.
If a golfer can make the white ball fall into the cup in fewer strokes, he wins.
If Lance crosses the finish line first, he wins the race.
If the ball clears the outfield fence, it's a home run.

I put myself thru college by making the 9-ball fall more times than the other guy could.
Did I always know which pocket the 9 would fall in?
No, but I didn't care because IF it fell, I got lunch.

Maybe you should see a doctor about those lil' strokes.

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer

We do the repairs magically, over the Net.

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Get updates when a new issue goes up.

Know Your Classics


 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Nobody got last issue's Classic which was Underworld, by Don Delillo.

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Today's Scary Don't Look Down Picture


 Send e-mail to Bart

Know your Supermodels


 Subject: Last issue's supermodel     Link

Greetings My Dear Bartcop:

After extensive research I have determined that the Okie supermodel
in question is Angela Lindvall from Midwest City, Oklahoma.
 Stan in Durant

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Wildlife Photo




Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Matanuska Valley TF

Hey Bart

It exists. Called Matanuska MFer back in the '80's when I was there.
Had heard of it before (rumors on the West Coast.... the Ideal that all
cultivators were aiming for, said to be far superior to anything from Maui).

Hitched a ride when my VW bus broke down.  Guy picked me up, drove me to Anchorage,
and drove me to every parts store and wrecking yard in town until I found the part I needed. 
Then he drove me back to his house to feed me dinner (funds were tight...I must have looked
a little lean).  After eats he took me outback to show me his garden...half-an-acre of anything and
everything leafy.  Between a row of the biggest g'damned cabbage you've ever seen and a row of
equally impressive lettuce, he pointed out a row of herb and said '...and you know what that is.' 

He explained the valley was one of the few place north of the panhandle you could grow crops. 
Growing season was short, but the sun hardly set for a couple of month.  Berries and leafy stuff went wild.

Alaska was full of native-born and lower-forty-eight-self-exiles back then. 
All the Tejan and Okie Fundies were still working the haul road and pipeline and hadn't yet decided to
settle down and completely f'up the Alaskan political system.  Alaska had a real libertarian (little 'l', not the
Rand Paul version) bent back then, and growing pot for personal use was both legal and socially a cceptable. 
Ain't so anymore. They traded in weed for God and now they've got oxi and meth and the witch from Wasilla.

Never drove through a town that had more churches than bars when I was that's change. 
Stay away from the born-again and politicians and you'll love the folk up there.  Enjoy.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Going to Alaska

Mrs Bart has always wanted to go to Alaska and Hawaii.
Thanks to Scott H (Don HO) we got to Hawaii in 2005 and we thought we'd
better go to Alaska before I have to drag an oxygen tank behind my wheelchair.

We bought tickets last year but we kept running into reasons why we couldn't go so
we're trying once again to go - and we're Alaska newbies. Astrocat says March is the

best month for aurora viewing and the weather isn't always freezing - hopefully.

I heard Alaska had something called Matanuska Valley Thuderfuck
but I'm a journalist so I can't say it exists because I've never seen any.

Any Bartcop readers in Seward, Whittier, Homer, Wasilla or Anchorage?

And something new we're trying:
Be a part of the Trip Report!

Kick in for a tank of gas or a few dollars towards a hotel or a ferry ride or something and
your name (Earl C in Erie, if you like) would be in the sure-to-be-fun Alaska Trip Report.

"And the fifth night we stayed at the Wild Moose Hotel in Valdez
  thanks to Bobby the Burner and Padre Mickey" type of thing.

So, I'm doing the page last week and PayPal calls.
They asked why I wasn't using their  "Buy now, Pay in 6 months" feature.

I told them I wasn't really in the business of selling things, but that people donated
a few sheckles now and then and he assured me that lots of people would donate now
if they knew they had 6 months interest-free to actually come up with the cash.

I have my doubts, but back in 2000 I had doubts about online donations in general
so what the hell - we'll give it as try for a week or so and see if anything comes in.

Be in Bart's Alaska Trip Report

You could
PayPal something to

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Thank you

Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo 


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity    Link

Bart, that’s Jerry Hall and an unusually hirsute Mick Jagger.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery City



Subject: last issue's Mystery City    

Bart, that looks like Montreal, Canada,
 Stan in Durant, OK

Send e-mail to Bart

Do you know today's Mystery Car?


Maybe you drove one of these years ago...

 Subject: last issue's Mystery Car    Link

Bart, Bieber has a Fisker Karma plug-in hybrid, except the silver
made it look too much like a Prius for Bieber, so he had the whole
thing chromed (with fuscia LED strips for added bad taste.)


  Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?   


Subject: last issue's History Mystery    Link 

The photograph in today's History Mystery is a portrait (apparently the only one)
of a black Union soldier and his family (his wife and two daughters), taken around 1865.

I lost the details, but that's either the last picture ever taken of a slave or
it's the first picture ever taken of a free, former-slave family - I forget which.


 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Thanks to Jeff W for the 2Checkout donation.

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.  
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" seems to be my best bet to stay on the InnerNets.
if you shop with them, you might even save some money.

Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online.

It never hurts to check prices.

Showtime's  Emmy Rossom


Check out  over 110 sexy and tasteful photos of  Emmy Rossum

More hot babes in BC Hotties

Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties...

Send Your Hottie Suggestion to Bart

Shopping online?

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and they'll send
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