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Tuesday  Feb 19, 2013    Vol 3017 - Flexed out

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Turned into a (bigger) dick
Who Hacked Burger King?
KKK Rally, Memphis March 30
Arrow Hide the Children - It Returns!!
Arrow Dr. Drew has 'Killer Curse?'
Arrow Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
Arrow 'B' Movie Queen  Kari Wuhrer



"I love that on the 10th anniversary of abetting the Iraq War,
  the DC press is keenly focused on golf pics. Savvy."
      --  LOLGOP in a tweet

  Send e-mail to Bart

Why McCain turned into a (bigger) dick

Well into last week, Sen. John McCain (R-Bitter) was telling confidantes that he would
vote for cloture on the nomination of his one-time pal and fellow Vietnam veteran
Chuck Hagel to be defense secretary.
Then Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Fabulous) turned around the Arizona Republican (ha ha)
— a switch that proved decisive the next day when Hagel came one short of the 60 votes
needed for cloture on the Senate floor. Now, Hagel’s confirmation roll call is now delayed.
For old McCain allies, it was an all-too familiar scenario: Their champion pulled back into
the fray by his friend Graham, a repulsive figure caught up in his own political battles with
the right in South Carolina. By reversing himself, McCain effectively sacrificed his own
credibility, once again, to buy Graham more time to continue his campaign against Hagel
— an issue that plays to Graham’s advantage back home as he prepares to run in 2014.
“This is just a bone thrown to Lindsey Graham, who keeps painting himself into corners
and then pleading with friends to crawl in there with him in a vain attempt to save a little face,”
one Republican insider told POLITICO.

So, McCain took action that was detrimental to the defense of the country to
help his flaming friend win a battle with the Carolina Teabaggers back home?

That's why he became a bigger dick then ever?

If I was a soldier, that grandstanding bullshit would piss me off.

  Send e-mail to Bart

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Extra thanks to those of you who
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Someone bought a Kindle Fire Tablet

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Who Hacked Burger King's Twitter?
Mickey D's says, "Who, us?"

Don’t blame the Hamburglar.
Burger King’s official Twitter account was McHacked Monday and changed to resemble their rival.
The pranksters swapped the page's profile image to McDonald's golden arches and rewrote the account
description to claim Burger King, “Just got sold to McDonald's because the whopper flopped ..."
Some vulgar messages were also tweeted and retweeted before Burger King bosses could get
Twitter to freeze the account about an hour into the ordeal.
Burger King's chief competition quickly claimed they were not the culprits.

"We empathize with our @BurgerKing counterparts. Rest assured,
we had nothing to do with the hacking."
- @McDonalds

Maybe it was P.E.T.A.

  Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Crap Cruise


The Triumph wasn't the only Carnival Crap Cruise from Texas.
One went to Mexico and the other went to the Senate.
 Mike McB.

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

KKK Rally, Memphis March 30
I've got half-a-mind to attend that.


The Sons of Confederate Veterans (Good guys) is retaliating against the Ku Klux Klan (GOP)
for planning a rally in Memphis against the renaming of three city parks.

The KKK applied for a permit to hold a March 30 rally in opposition to the renaming of three parks,
named after Confederate War heroes and thus is an insult to Blacks. The Tennessee leader of the KKK
reportedly said the gathering would be "the largest rally Memphis, Tennessee has ever seen."

"It's not going to be 20 or 30. It's going to be thousands of Klansmen from the whole United States
coming to Memphis, Tennessee," said the leader, known as the "Exalted Cyclops."

The group Sons of Confederate Veterans opposes the KKK's plans to gather.6.

"I'm afraid that a counter rally or an anti-Klan rally from other elements in the city
might show up and the situation might turn into a riot or something ugly as it has before,"
Millar said. "So we would prefer that the Klan not come to Memphis."

I haven't been to a KKK rally since  Issue 0006 from May of 1996.

If we had help from a Memphis local, I'm sure we could find a place to observe
this 2013 version of Fort Sumter with some strategic fall-back positions.

  Send e-mail to Bart

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Hide the Children - It Returns!!
Pun-Ho to speak at GOP's CPAC next month


One year after giving the keynote address at the annual KKK Konference,
Sarah Palin will be back to bark more insults at the Black man in the White Houser.
The American KKKonservative Union, which runs CPAC, one of the oldest and largest
yearly gatherings of knuckledragging cavemen and cranial throwbacks from across the country,
announced Monday that the publicity whore, who was recently fired by Fox News, will bark.
"We are pleased to welcome hemi-Governor Sarah Palin to CPAC," said nobody Al Cardenas.
CPAC is considered a popular cattle call for the religiously-insane and the power-hungry.
In 2011 Palin flirted with a bid for the White House, but was ultimately crushed by public opinion.
At last year's CPAC, Palin took some digs at Thurston Howell, who ultimately lost to (gasp!) a Black man.

I'm sure their is no truth to the rumor that with Palin headlining the hatefest,
the organizers are secretly referring to the conservative gathering as  c-PAC.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Dr. Drew has 'Killer Curse?'
Of course not, I just don't like him

"I don't check my facts!"


The criticism of Dr. Drew Pinsky spread on the Internet almost as quickly as news
of Mindy McCready's death.
The country singer became the fifth cast member of his "Celebrity Rehab" series to die
since appearing on the show and the third from Season 3. The previous deaths stirred up
rumors of a curse and a debate about the show's helpfulness. McCready's apparent suicide
upped the pitch of the reaction, however.
Singer Richard Marx on Twitter compared Pinsky to Dr. Jack Kevorkian: "Same results."

To be fair, and what is Bartcop-ism if not an abundance of fairness,
Dr Drew is in the "I'm going to die if you can't help me" business.

Sure, he's going to lose more patients than a "regular" doctor.

  Send e-mail to Bart


"It was the middle of the night and I thought an intruder was in the house. Not wearing my
  prosthetic legs, feeling vulnerable in the pitch dark and too scared to turn on the lights,
  I pulled my 9mm pistol from beneath my bed, moved toward the bathroom and fired into the door.
  It was only after I called to my girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp -- whom I thought had been in bed
  beside me -- that I realized something horrible might have happened..."
      --  the story Oscar Pistorius is sticking with      Link

 Every time we've talked about my using a gun to defend my home and family, I've used the same words.
 "IF I can feel Mrs Bart beside me in bed, anything taller than a cat is in trouble."

 You don't get to say, "I was scared, so I pulled the trigger."

 They said this was THE celebrity couple in South Africa.
 All he had to do to live a lifetime of magic was not murder his wife and he couldn't pull that off.
 Like Rihanna, Reeva chose to stay with Mr. Violent and it got her killed.

  Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Pete Rose

I remember this Dowd guy said he could not prove Rose bet against his team,
but was fairly certain that it occurred sometimes.

Pete Rose was a great ball player, and even a good baseball manager,
but he was a scumbag for gambling on baseball while he was directly
involved in the outcome of games.
 Pete in KCMO

Pete, I think you have not chosen your words carefully.
Gambling, itself, can't be wrong because you're forced to do it a hundred times a day.

Is a race horse owner wrong to bet on his horse?
Was Jerry Jones wrong to gamble on the Cowboys?  ha ha  trick question

Eli Manning was drafted by san Diego and he refused to play for them.
He gambled that he'd do better somewhere else - was he a scumbag?

You gamble every time you order something new off a menu
so gambling, per se, can't be wrong, I'm sure you would agree.

 Send E-Mail to Bart

Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart

There's a reason why some people don't have kids


 Send e-mail to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff
every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

 Subject: Oscars Odds by


 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer

We do the repairs magically, over the Net.

Follow us on Twitter and Facebook
Get updates when a new issue goes up.

Know Your Classics


 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Bart, that's "The Jungle" by Upton Sinclair.

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Today's Scary Don't Look Down Picture


I say it's NOT photoshopped.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Catholic Church

Religion is the root of the worst evil and the Catholic Church is the leader of the packed... hands down.
 Luigi Stugatz

Luigi, I couldn't agree more if you paid me.


 Send e-mail to Bart

Know your Supermodels


 Subject: Last issue's supermodel     Link

Nobody got yesterday's supermodel Ana Claudia Michels.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Wildlife Photo



Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Vol 3016

Hey Bart:  I liked that Bartcop Volume 3016 had 2 links
to past issues ("Classic" Bartcop).  It was fun to go back in time.
Keep hammering

Some of those old issues are good - back when I was funny.

  Send e-mail to Bart

Going to Alaska

Mrs Bart has always wanted to go to Alaska and we thought we'd better go
before I have to drag an oxygen tank behind my wheelchair.

We bought tickets last year but we kept running into reasons why we couldn't go so
we're trying once again to go - and we're Alaska newbies. Astrocat says March is the

best month for aurora viewing and the weather isn't always freezing - hopefully.

I heard Alaska had something called Matanuska Valley Thuderfuck
but I'm a journalist so I can't say it exists because I've never seen any.

Any Bartcop readers in Seward, Whittier, Homer, Wasilla or Anchorage?

And something new we're trying:
Be in the Trip Report!

Kick in for a tank of gas or a few dollars towards a hotel or a ferry ride and your name
(Earl C in Erie, if you like) would be in the sure-to-be-fun Alaska Trip Report.

"And the fifth night we stayed at the Wild Moose Hotel in Valdez
  thanks to Bobby the Burner and Padre Mickey" type of thing.

So, I'm doing the page last week and PayPal calls.
They asked why I wasn't using their  "Buy now, Pay in 6 months" feature.

I told them I wasn't really in the business of selling things, but that people donated
a few sheckles now and then and he assured me that lots of people would donate now
if they knew they had 6 months interest-free to actually come up with the cash.

I have my doubts, but back in 2000 I had doubts about online donations in general
so what the hell - we'll give it as try for a week or so and see if anything comes in.

Be in Bart's Alaska Trip Report

You could
PayPal something to

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Thank you

Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo 


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity    Link

Bart, that is Bettie Page.
Bettie was arrested on the 28th October 1972 when Police answered a call placed by
ex-husband Harry Lear;  when they arrived on scene they found him and Bettie out on
the front yard with Bettie hitting Harry, repeatedly punching and verbally attacking him.

Bart, that is Bettie Page.
She was diagnosed as schizophrenic and had a hard life out of the spotlight. 
Here is part of the story:
 Gerry in Miami

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery City



Subject: last issue's Mystery City    

Bart, that's Varenna, Italy on beautiful Lake Como. 
My wife and I were there 2 years ago visiting a dear friend who is a big fan of yours.
  Richard in New Braunfels

tell George and Stacy we said Hey.

Send e-mail to Bart


Name the Star AND their Mystery Car


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Car    Link

Bart, that's Fatty Arbuckle and his 1919 Pierce Arrow 66 A4 Touring
Paul in Ogden Utah

  Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?   


Subject: last issue's History Mystery    Link 

Bart, that's General George S. Patton acknowledging the cheers of the
welcoming crowds in Los Angeles, CA, during his visit on June 9, 1945.
(That's one month after V.E. Day.) General Patton was born and raised
in San Marino, just east of downtown Los Angeles.
 Leo in Maryland

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Thanks to  Elizabeth E for the 2Checkout donation

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.  
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" seems to be my best bet to stay on the InnerNets.
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Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online.

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'B' Movie Queen  Kari Wuhrer


Check out  over 80 sexy and tasteful photos of  Kari Wuhrer

More hot babes in BC Hotties

Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties...

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