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Volume 418 - Chasing Two Rabbits
 RecentOld Stuff .  .......... ....Celebrity-hoe-mails ...... .....  ...Required Reading.  .....   .The Myth of the Liberal Media
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March 1, 2001

VCR Alert - I don't know if anyone else watches Millionaire anymore, but tonight,
the contestant gets TO the $2,000,000 question, which seems, like everything, to be fixed.
They've not had a winner in 200 shows, and golly gee and go figure, on the 200th show
the guy gets to the 2 mil mark, the biggest prize ever given away on a fixed game show.
Remember, if it was NOT fixed, they'd have all 15 questions on cards next to Regis
so the producers can't change questions at the last damn minute.

Also, on Survivor, the previews indicate a crocodile takes a chomp out of somebody.
CBS is calling it a "jaw-dropping incident," but that blurb was written by a corporate weasel.
Heck, it could be an infected boil, like Smirk gets on his face, but if someone does get bit,
let's hope it's Jeff Probst, the smarmy, know-it-all, Alex Trebec seem-alike host.
Also on CBS, C.S.I. probably holds the current, longest streak for best shows in a row.
Let's hope the streak stays intact tonight.

Tonight is the first full Spin Room since the Tuesday flood. Nobody knows how many e-mails they got about the Lincoln Submarine, but I got over 100 CC's here, so maybe they got enough to mention it tonight.

Next time we try to influence the news, our luck has to be better, right?

The shortest Spin Room in history and off the next day. I'll be damned.

Clinton chides newsies, nixes Hollywood career
By Dan Cox

NEW YORK (Variety) - Former President Bill Clinton, in a relaxed speech to the Variety co-sponsored Front Row media conference Tuesday, assailed the excessive news coverage of popular game shows and reality series over stories of political issues and social ills around the world.

Clinton also disabused Hollywood of any notions that he would board the DreamWorks bus driven by some of his most avid fundraisers, David Geffen, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Steven Spielberg.

Asked by Daily Variety after the speech whether he had any desire to join the Dream team, Clinton simply said, ``I'm a moviegoer, not a moviemaker.''

In fact, any idea that Clinton might use this speech to signal his interest in a Hollywood role was dispelled. He clearly indicated that he planned to focus his post-presidential energies on global political and social issues.

Clinton's speech elicited warm applause from the 700-plus attendees --despite a mini-controversy that ensued when Credit Suisse First Boston downplayed its presence  as a confab co-sponsor with Variety in response to pressure and complaints from clients
and customers about the former president.

Clinton appeared indifferent to the Credit Suisse rebuff. Looking alternately relaxed and subdued  after an eight-year grind, Clinton made light of the national media's obsession with him.

``Even though I was good at making news, and apparently still am, I won't be talking about any of this today,'' he joked.

In his speech, the former chief executive quickly hammered home the need for the media to go after stories of substance rather than fluff.

``The American people need to know, care and understand more about what happens beyond our borders, and it simply can't happen without the press,'' Clinton said.

He cited 24,520 news stories he found about the ABC show ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,'' while he could point to only 8,335 pieces on the money being saved by his Global Debt Relief Initiative.

Clinton noted that 12,476 stories were done on the hit show ``Survivor'' last year in the U.S. media, while only 2,567 articles appeared on the spread of AIDS in the former Soviet Union.

Clinton complained that editors and news stations showed little interest in exploring social and political issues behind the obvious one of war.

``I gave speeches while president on topics like climate change until I was blue in the face, but they were not deemed newsworthy by you,'' Clinton said.

At times, Clinton sounded as though he were addressing a room full of journalists, even though the Front Row confab audience was more heavily populated with Wall Street analysts and investors.

Clinton pointed to the need for the media to cover critical subjects such as global warming, the AIDS epidemic, poverty, illiteracy and education around the world -- and to make those stories relevant to the American people.

He cited a New York Times piece about Brazil's success in lowering the HIV infection rate in that country as an example of how journalism can work to inform Americans and give them the tools necessary to change policy.

Clinton did say he understood that making public service profitable is not an easy task, but he urged the audience to shift their thinking enough to affect policy.

``I can't answer for the pressures you're under, and believe it or not, I can sympathize,'' he said. ``There may be more tools to entertain, but you also have more tools to inform than ever before.''

Clinton opened his speech by citing Thomas Jefferson's view that newspapers without a government are better than a government without newspapers. In the Jeffersonian age, he said, competition among newspapers was just as cutthroat as it is now, but they still managed to cover politics in an aggressive fashion.

``When I was a boy growing up in the South, it took real bravery for journalists to tell the truth about civil rights issues,'' an almost wistful Clinton remembered.

He then pointed to other acts of journalistic bravery in such diverse areas as Bosnia, the Middle East and Africa.

Reuters/Variety REUTERS

English translation:  "Reporters" are lazy scum whose skills have atrophied
so much over the past few years (because the RNC was spoon-feeding them the
"Latest Clinton Scandals", they never needed to do legwork so long as they
did the GOP's bidding) that they couldn't report on real news, even if they
wanted to -- which they do NOT.

Tamara Baker

Challenge of Presidential Election "Fraud" in Florida Petition

You can sign the petition.


Subject: hey question

You have a piece that the pay-raise for military traditionally comes in
Oct and that Bush's raise is the same as Clinton had going.

How do you explain this:
and someone I was talking to forwarded me a copy of some press release she got which
would contradict what you said.  I'll quote that below, but I'm interested to know if I've
(you've) got your facts wrong on this one.

Thanks, and keep up the great work.


Jeff, yes and no and yes and no.

I personally heard Rumsfeld, a week ago Sunday morning, say the pay raise was "under review,"
or some weasel words that meant "depends on how you define the word 'raise'."
The very next day, Smirky said a raise was coming, so we have a mystery there.
Trust me, Smirk doesn't know anything that Rumsfeld doesn't know.

The "traditional raise in October" piece was sent in by a contributor.

The way I understand it, they automatically get a 4.6 percent raise, by law, and Smirky is
promising them 7 percent, which is a whopping increase of 2.4 percent.

I guess that's what he meant by "Help is on the way."

The problems are: (A)  I make mistakes and (B) CNN will intentionally lie to you,
which proves it's very hard to get accurate information these days, but if Smirky and Rumsfeld
can't get their story straight, I feel better about any mistakes that may come from

 I know you're sick of this, but this is
 What Really Happened in Florida

 Click  Here

Former senator Bob Kerrey (R-Who'd normally get a "traitor" here, but since he gave a leg fighting
for his country we'll not do that to him) told The New Yorker that Clinton has compiled a list of traitors.

Five back-stabbers were on that list:
1. George "Judas Maximus" Steffie, the first asshole to mention "impeachment" was obviously number one,
2. Cock-hunting Louis Freeh was another one
3. Janet "Can I appoint another special prosecutor to hound the innocent" Reno was there,
4. Robert stab-in-the-back Reich, who was a Clinton friend for 30 years was another,
5. ...the fifth name ...Kerrey couldn't remember.

ha ha

Gee, Bob. Do you own a mirror?

I saw a Bob Kerrey interview the other day, probably on Fox, where the anchor monkey
started the conversation labeling Kerrey as the man who declared, with all certainty,
that Bill Clinton was "an unusually good liar," when Kerrey interrupted and said,
"I only said that one time," as tho that's an excuse why he tried to fuck his president.

Maybe these Democratic stabbers could realize that this last election was razor-thin,
and had they been on the team instead of whining and complaining and back-stabbing
and foot-dragging and helping with the cock hunt - we might have a Demo president now.
But nooooooooooooooooooo.

For some reason, fucking Clinton was more important to the Democratic party than winning.

I live in Oklahoma where we get basketball instead of West Wing and the Angie Harmon Show.
I'm a Democrat, a party of idiots and back-stabbers, a party that regularly screws our own
so the idiot blow monkey with FOUR ARRESTS can take over all our lives.
Can it get any worse?

...maybe I shouldn't own guns...

From: (withheld)

Subject: The military

I read your site today and don't forget the veterans.
Most of the veterans who served under Reagan don't support Republicans.
We remember what he did to us.

He didn't want service members who got out of the military to receive any unemployment
because we were turning down a job.  A job that you can be killed for but hey, its a job.

Only after congress and the senate backed his ass down did he give military members 6 weeks of unemployment.
Not like their were any jobs in the early 80's to mid 80's but you could eat for 6 weeks.  I guess ole Reagan
didn't understand that we are a volunteer force which meant we can leave when our contract is up.
(if you're GWB then you can just leave at anytime)

ha ha

By the way, NO I didn't go out on unemployment is case someone reading this is thinking that.
Also Reagan, the GOP GOD, also cut back maternity leave for active duty women from 6 weeks to 4 weeks.
Of course Reagan was parent of the year so he couldn't care less about a mother loving and bonding with an infant.
No wonder we have so many children screwed up in today's society.

Also, a biggie.
VP Dick Cheney called a pilot dead while he was only missing for 12 hours in Desert Storm.
No one looked for him but no one cared and any military member who doesn't understand that
this can happen to them is mistaken.

So while I back our military people, hell I'm one of them and a liberal veteran to boot, I also know we get used.
Just because you're a member of the Armed Services doesn't mean you have to be of the mind set of mass mentality.

Veteran of the USAF


Well, sweep weeks are over, and so is our February fund-raising drive.
We did not reach the mark that would enable us to buy a second ad, but when
combined with the proceeds of the upcoming May 2001 sweeps fund-raising drive
maybe we'll have enough cash on hand to place an ad and grow the hammer higher.

Special thanks to all those contributors.
You can see a list of the generous hammer-growers here.

Excerpt from an e-mail

Bartcop is one of the few sites to complain of a general right-wing
bias in the US press - which is hilarious.

If anyone thinks there is not a right-wing bias in the media  Click  Here
then send me your counter-list of on-air left-wing shows and I'll print it.

Lopez: Won't testify at Combs trial
NEW YORK (AP) - Jennifer Lopez will not take the stand at the Puffy trial, she said Tuesday.
"As Sean will testify on his own behalf, he and his lawyers have decided it is not necessary for me to testify,"
she said in a statement.

I'm not an expert on courtroom proceedures, but I think Ms. Lopez might find out
it's not Puffy's decision whether or not she gets called as a witness.
Puffy can decide for his team, but there are two sides in a courtroom.

As a person with an international reputation and a multi-million dollar career in
music and films, J-Lo probably wouldn't want to do time for perjury.

Koresh, she was in the damn car, and was obviously closer to Puffy than even his bodyguards,
who better to say if he was packing heat?

If I was prosecuting this case, her fine ass would be in that witness chair, and I'd make her sing.


Subject: A Few Observations/Suggestions/Responses/Questions

> VCR Alert - Low on Nazi hate? Get a fill up Friday when Christopher
> Hitchens (R-Hates) does Dennis Miller. Hitchens can call Clinton "that liberal rapist,"
> while Miller eggs him on. What could be more fun than that?

Christopher Hitchens is not a Republican. In the past election, he supported Ralph Nader.
"If you care to know my politics," he has written, "I am an old socialist who is living
fascinatedly through a period when only capitalism seems to be revolutionary."


Michael, if I said he was a Republican, I didn't mean to.
I might've said he was guilty of "Nazi hate," which is true.
Like Maureen Dowd, he hates EVERYBODY.

Last time he was on Dennis Miller he called Clinton "that rapist,"
and he declared Mother Theresa and Nancy Reagan were both whores.
It's one thing to have strong feelings, but hating everybody?

Open Letter to Ted Koppel

Click  Here

Has EVERY one in mainstream media been taken over by pod people???


Subject: "It's an earthquake, stupid!"

Greetings from Seattle (shaken, not stirred).

The best spin on The Earthquake here, is that it came on the same day that
Shrub delivered a budget that eliminates the same emergency preparedness
program that saved hundreds of lives here today.

What a putz!

Republicans are like snotty teenagers.
They want to be independent until they need something.
They they scream for Mommy and Daddy to bail them out.

 Who Says Rednecks Aren't Real Bright?

 "Hello, is this the FBI?"

 "Yes. What do you want?"

 "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith!
  He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

 "Thank you very much for the call, sir."

 The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house.
 They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
 Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
 They swore at Billy Bob and left....

 The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.

"Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?"


 "Did they chop your firewood?"


 "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

 'Oil Ticket' Faces Slippery Slope in Corruption Scandal

 Excerpt:  Smirk n Dick may be fending off questions from reporters (I doubt that)
 concerning a Swiss investigation linking them tobig oil's bribes and pay-offs to foreign interests.

Click  Here


 We're now into our fifth year at

 Checking back in Volume One, the first entry made was February 25, 1996

 I'm not sure, but I think one gives tequila for the fifth anniversary.


Subject: Fan mail

Just discovered your site.  It's a scream, I love it.
Nice to see a little of that energy aimed in the right direction for a change.


Hey, if we don't fight back today, we may not have a tomorrow.
I don't want to be forced to worship Smirk's God or Ashcroft's God at gunpoint.
That's where we're headed.

I had a dream last night that Dennis Miller told me he had cancer.
Just thought I'd mention that, in case he reveals something tomorrow night while he and
Christopher Hitchens are trying to out-do each other calling Clinton "that fucking rapist."

I'd Burn Down My Neighbor's House
  By Ann Coulter

Click  Here

From: (withheld)

Subject: Chupacabra??

I speak a little Spanish but didn't know what "chupacabra" meant when you referred to
El Swine Vulgaro.  I went into a Spanish-speaking chat room,  asked what it meant
and was told by a nice (I assume) lady named Iris that it  meant "GOATSUCKER."

I could barely type my "gracias" and "adios" fast enough to get out and tell a couple of friends.
Thanks for the unexpected laugh....

Carolyn in Memphis

Carolyn, it's worse than you think.
I have a picture of Rush with the goat.


Letter to the Editor

As a Republican, I am disappointed that the current attacks on Bill Clinton appear to come
solely from republican politicians. It is almost as if even with former president Clinton out of
the White House, the temptation to kick him is still too much to resist.

Have we forgotten others who criticized Clinton only to have their own dirty little secrets become known?

Republican politicians need to remember that half the country thinks President Bush was appointed
by a court as opposed to being elected to office.

Del Ruiz,

 Estimates show 6,000,000 Mexicans came to America during the Clinton years
 to fill the millions of jobs that Americans didn't want to bother with.

 When Smirk crashes the economy, what will they do? Where will they go?

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything - Conason on Clinton, Lyons on Clinton and lonely BartCop for Clinton.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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