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Volume 417 - Conason & Lyons 
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 February 28, 2001

 VCR Alert - The final episode of The Mole, if anyone cares.
 The West Wing has been on a really nice roll for the last three weeks.
 Great, great shows, back-to-back-to-back.  I'll be ready if they make it four in a row, eh...what's that?.
 Son of a bitch, they did it again. K-Drag is getting basketball AGAIN, instead of West Wing!
 Basketball, basketball, basketball every goddamn Wednesday in prime time on NBC.
 That's all I can stand, cause I can't stand it no more.  Son of a bitch, I hate this stinking Dust Bowl and basketball.
 Oh, well, I know HBO won't screw me on The Sopranos.  We can count on HBO.

 Wall Street Report

 The Dow closed down 141.
 Tha Nasdaq is down 55.

 Wall Street didn't like Smirk's plans for a wild spending spree, either.


 Update

 The Pardongate Lawyer Story (below) has new light.
 The attorney in question is Dominic Barber, Howard Stern's attorney.

 Somehow, I doubt Stern's lawyer will be the guy to bring down Clinton.


Why the Right Still Hates Clinton
 David Corn, AlterNet     February 27, 2001

Click  Here

Excerpt:
At a gathering of 3000 conservative activists and leaders in Washington in mid-February,
Senator James Inhofe, a Republican from Oklahoma, assailed Clinton for having
compromised "virtually every secret of our nuclear arsenal."

(Virtually every one? What was in his water?)


 Who predicted Dave was moving to another network?
 When the fight spills into the media, that means it won't be long now.

 Letterman's jokes annoy CBS boss

 Click  Here


 Great Republican Quotes

 "Did you see that scowl on Hillary's face last night?
   She had a look on her face that said, ...to me, anyway,
   that she wanted to go up to Pickles Bush and slap her face
   and say, "Get out of my chair, you imposter."
   -- The vulgar Pigboy, stoking the fires of hatred with his "impression"
       of what the look on Hillary's face meant, in his opinion.
 

 Now, if that's the way Rush saw it,
 we can't blame him for being honest, can we?


 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
  The Tequila Report

 Click  Here

 (works best with Internet Explorer)

 Read my letter to Tally about her next step towards Agave Heaven.


 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 That speech last night was very impressionable.
  -- El Grande Chupacabra, second hour


From: (withheld)

Subject: The Military Pay Raise

Remember the big military pay raise Bush promised to the troops?
Well, guess when they get it--October 1, the same day they get their raise every year.

But Bush's raise will be bigger than usual, right?
Wrong; it will be under 3%, about the same as the inflation rate.

We have serious difference of opinion, BartCop.
You always praise the troops; your support is unwavering.

I think that they're so stupid that they're still cheering for a guy who promised them a
great big raise and gave them the exact same thing they would have gotten anyway.

I'll add that these soldiers and sailors who are incapable of doing the math
to analyze their raise probably wouldn't make that much as civilians anyway.

Eventually the soldiers wives will explain to them that they've been swindled,
and the grousing will start.  PigBoy already has his response ready; he'll say,
"Bush made the raise his highest priority, Clinton gave the raise as an afterthought."

Making the raise a priority doesn't get anyone off food stamps.
Money does, and Bush ain't gonna spend money on fools;
he's got smart millionaires to care for.
 

It is sometimes difficult to support our men in uniform, but I continue to do so.
Yes, it's true.

They hate Clinton for trying to stop the war Smirk deserted from.
They hate Clinton even though he won a war with no casualties.
They hate Clinton for having sex with a woman half his age.
They hate Clinton even though he gave us eight years of peace and prosperity,
when the Reagan/Bush era gave us war and recession.

They don't mind that Smirk lied to them.
They don't mind that the size of military budget under Smirk is the same as under Clinton.
They don't mind that Smirk went AWOL during wartime.
They don't mind that he got in a "Sorry-Full," National Guard unit.
They don't mind that he got preferential treatment cause his daddy was rich.
They don't mind that his Daddy's bungling gave them Gulf War Syndrome.
They don't mind that his Daddy helped make a secret deal for Iran to keep those hostages longer.

They forgive his Daddy for giving sophisticated weapons to the animals who kidnapped this man,

...and did this to him.


    http://www.higginspage.com/
 

Stranger than that,,
...they would rather their children/father/brothers come home in body bags
under a Bush or a Reagan than come home safe and healthy under President Clinton.
 

Still, ...I support them.



Reminder

The reason the Whore Court didn't show up last night is they couldn't risk
being booed and spat on before a national television audience,
so they stayed away like the cowardly rats they are.


Gene Lyons comes out against Clinton, too

Read this and see if you can tell what the hell he's thinking.

Like Joe Conason and the majority of Democrats, Lyons refuses to
give Clinton the benefit of the doubt on the Marc Rich pardon.

If Clinton was stock, right now would be the time to buy.


 Swear to Koresh, in last night's live coverage of the Smirk Litany of Lies,  I jokingly suggested
 the reason Spin Room isn't on tonight, (thereby scuttling our attempt to manipulate the news)
 might be 'They said they were off tonight, Wednesday [for the Bernie Shaw tribute?]'

 Little did I know.
 It musta been a psychic flash.

 Bernie Shaw Signs Off
 "After Bernard Shaw says goodbye to CNN viewers at 6:30 p.m., he'll rush to the Corcoran Gallery
 of Art in Washington for a black-tie tribute. There will be the expected - mention of the holy name of
 the "Boys of Baghdad'' of Jan. 16, 1991; good-natured jokes about his tough, unexpected questions
 during political debates; heaps of praise for the man CNN Chairman Tom Johnson calls
 'the gold standard of  journalistic integrity,'" the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports.
 

 I guess that's why we have no Spin Room tonight.
 Bernie the Pants Wetter is to be inducted into the Whore Hall of Fame.


Celebrity Mail

From: killer@tyson.com

Subject: you beter wach your ass

If you dont stop saying bad things about Gorge Bush
I will track you down and bite you.

Mike Tyson



Joe Conason on Clinton
 by Tamara Baker

Click  Here


Pardons With a Precedent
Washington Whore Post

Click  Here

A lame-duck president grants a slew of controversial pardons, eleventh-hour Get Out of Jail Free cards
for the politically well-connected.

His pardon list includes:
A former Cabinet official who could have been in a position to implicate the president himself
in federal crimes. An assistant secretary of state who withheld information from Congress and
a CIA official who lied to it. And a Pakistani who was caught smuggling $1.5 million worth of heroin
into the United States and had 47 years left on his sentence.

Outrage billows.
Editorials thunder.

"The pardon," says a prominent prosecutor, "undermines the principle that no man is above the law.
It demonstrates that powerful people with powerful allies can commit serious crimes in high office
. . . without consequences."

The president in question was George H. W. Bush.
 

...but the whore press doesn't care, because it doesn't involve Clinton's cock.


 'The Sopranos'
 Hollywood Magic Allows Livia One Last Angry Whine

 Click Here  (Warning: Contains spoilers)


 Has  Intel gone crazy?

 Right-wing talk radio host Clark Howard said Intel is going to spend
 "almost a third of a billion dollars to promote their new Pentium Four,
   which is a product almost nobody needs."

 Howard said unless you're running some really wild audio/video applications,
 or have some very special needs outside the norm, you don't need a Pentium Four.
 I don't like agreeing with a right-winger, but when he's right, he's right.

 Are YOU going to spend the money to get into a Pentium Four?
 If you're still on a Pentium One or Two, and due for an upgrade,
 you might take the plunge into the latest technonolgy, but if you're not...

 We know Smirk will do his best to repeat Saint Reagan's errors,
 but I hope the economy survives despite his best (worst) efforts.

 More


Great Political Quotes

"Three times in the last two decades, rookie American presidents
have faced huge policy decisions with enormous implications for their
own presidencies and their successors', not to mention the rest of us.

Ronald Reagan bellied up to the bar in 1981.
So did Bill Clinton in 1993.
George W. Bush, however, has decided to duck and hide."
    -- Thomas Oliphant in the Boston Globe



Subject: Pardongate attorney speaks

On one of the morning radio shows here in Houston, "Greggo, Pruett & the Boner" (insert joke here),
an attorney whose name now escapes me was a featured guest this morning.  Supposedly, he's the guy
who represented Jessica Hahn back in the 80's, and had something to do with the Buttafuoco/Amy Fisher trial.

Anyway, he claims to represent one of the "key witnesses" in the Clinton pardongate scandal, and told the show
"you will astounded when the rest of this story comes out.  You will simply not believe what these witnesses will say."

He made it sound like it was going to be a real bad deal for Clinton.  I'm not sure where this guy's sympathies
lie, because he said that with the economy sputtering, the Congressional inquiry was the last thing America needed.

Brace yourself, this could get worse before it gets better.

Tom VA
 

ha ha
Tom, not to worry.

All I have to go by is your account, but what are the odds some attorney would go on the radio
and confess a conspiracy to commit crimes? Did he say the witness told Clinton, in his presence,
"We're going to commit a crime, Mr President," and Clinton said, OK?"
Clinton doesn't DO traps, and when he does, he slips out of them.

Perhaps you misunderstood what the lawyer said?

It's my bet that when the truth comes out, Clinton will end up cleaner than a Safeway chicken.
He'll be the guy who willingly accepted crucifixion to help Israel's peace process,
while the mean-spirited GOP was spending years and millions grabbing for his cock.

Don't think for second things are spinning out of control.
Always assume Clinton will hit the Grand Slam.
Trust me.

Nobody on the planet could possibly know what really happened but Bill Clinton.
Barak knows a piece, Denise Rich knows a piece, your radio attorney might know a piece,
but only Clinton can assemble the puzzle, and he's The Master.

ha ha

He owes the GOP a severe ass-whoopin' and public humiliation.
If it's true he has over $100,000,000 for his library, I'm sure he'd trade half
for the payback spectacle we're going to see if he's called to testify.

I can't wait.



Great Political Quotes

"I cannot tell you how the USS Greeneville surfaced under the Japanese fishing vessel,
sinking it with the apparent loss of nine lives. I cannot tell you if the presence of civilians
contributed to the accident or if some piece of equipment malfunctioned or if someone
was incredibly negligent. I can tell you, though, that it was an accident and that the
United States has apologized enough."
   --  Richard Cohen, member of the watchdog press, covering for Smirk in the Washington Post


Smirk's Address to the Congress
 By David Jansing

Click  Here


From: chiarell@suite224.net

Subject: Nazi alert

The makers of the Unimog, a humongous 4x4 based on German military transport,
reportedly have offered the first one to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Gee, do you think having an Austrian drive a German tank through America is really the best marketing plan?

Maybe.
Because this is an invasion.
 

You mean Arnold the Republican sexual deviant?



 The Experiment

 The submarine experiment went so badly, I thought it was a Thursday.
 Because the GOP applauded everytime Smirk smirked, he ran long.

 Spin Room came on 47 minutes into their hour, and they already had
 Charlie the Wrangler ready to talk about taxes.

 We got hosed.
 Tucker called it "the shortest Spin Room in history," about 12 minutes.
 I don't think they even said the word, "e-mail."

 damn,

 Should we try again?
 Yeah, cause Smirk is covering up responsibility for nine deaths.

 They said they were off tonight, Wednesday (for the Bernie Shaw tribute?)
 so let's wait a day or two, let the dust settle.  We will test our strength another day.


GOP's Arnold molests woman?

In the March issue of Premier Magazine, out now, freelance writer John Connolly charges
that Arnold Schwarzenegger who fancys the Governor's mansion in Sacramento
has groped women, berated his pregnant wife in public and engaged in extramarital liaisons.

Grope-ees mentioned in the Premier article include Linda Hamilton and brit TV hostess Denise Van Outen (above.)

The Hollywood elite rallied around the former star. America's most-beloved producer, Arnold Kopelson,
says the Premier account of someone walking in on Arnold performing oral sex on a woman were unfounded
because "Arnie usually locks his trailer door when he's giving head."

As you might expect, Schwarzenegger denied everything, they always do.
Some people just have a problem taking personal responsibility for their behavior.

Next thing you know, if I know republicans like I think I do, the former star will try to somehow
blame the very-busy Governor Gray Davis (D-Fight the Power) for his moral shortcomings and
the destruction of his marriage to Maria Shriver, who never - ever - cheated on him.

If this had happened years ago, we might hink the women were motivated by money.
But Arnie's star power has fallen so far, who's want to sue him now if it wasn't an aggrieved party?
I gotta think they're acting on principle.
 
 

This "We report, you decide" story was brought to you by Fox News in a mirror.
Tell me, was it ugly?



 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything - fuzzy math, the Hand of Truth, a failed experiment, and more sub rumors.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



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