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Volume 446 - Satan Never Sleeps 
.Old Stuff .  ...Celebrity-hoe-mails ....Required Reading.   .The Liberal Media   .......VIVA Las VEGAS
           .Onthe Far,  Far Horizon........LiveWeb Cams ...........TheRuby Tape         The BartCop Tax Plan..........JFK Links
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 April 5, 2001 
 VCR Alert
- Free Speech TV (Dish network channel 9415 and on cable) is showing "Not My President!",
   an excellent documentary about the inaugural protests, TONIGHT at 9:30 p.m. and  11:30 p.m. and Saturday at 1:30 p.m.


 "Gee, Rush, I'd gladly give up whatever tax cut I have coming
  so someone higher up on the income scale could get a bigger tax cut."
       -- insane ditto-monkey caller, end of third hour today

 The History of the Letterman-Moonves Fued

 Click  here

 Things have gotten so much hotter in the last few weeks.
 (See story below)

 BartCop Predicts:
 Moonves and Dave won't both be at CBS when Dave's contract expires next year.

Terry McAuliffe [D-Fighter] Challenges "Partial" Recount Study Headline
"If all the ballots were counted Gore would have won Florida"

 Click  Here

We still don’t know who won
 Latest media recount effort only clouds the real issues in Florida balloting
 By Eric Alterman

Click  Here

Don't ever believe the whore media.

 If you saw that extra-bad West Wing last night, you were overwhelmed
 with ads to watch that mean bitch on the new game show, The Weakest Link

 I've never seen a show promoted this heavily - ever!
 NBC is pushing this show harder than any show I've ever seen.
 USA Today did an article on Weakest Link today, and said NBC
 was "peppering" its airwaves with promos, but that's not what I'd call it.
 "Smothering" would be closer to the truth.

 ...and USA Today didn't mention Laura the Unloved's name once in the article.

 How can you look at a snotty, sharped-tongued bitch and not think of Laura?

 Paula Jones sets new record for tacky pictures.
 (Worse even than Laura the Untrimmed)

 I have semi-tastefully cropped the picture, to save the children.

 Click  Here

 Letterman and Al Gore Team Up

 Click  Here


 Gore: "I was ahead [in the polls] until I went on your show."

 Dave: "The same could be said for me."

 California? So Goes the Nation
  sent by tally briggs, californian

 Click  Here

 If a common murderer bribes his way our of trouble, it's called "illegal."
 If tobacco companies bribe the Republicans, it's called "campaign contributions."

 Click  Here

 Despite Outcry, Bush AIDS Office Gutted

 Click  Here

 Oh, well, they're "just queers," right George?

China Senses Weak President
 by Marc Perkel

America is in an unfortunate position in the standoff with China over the captured spy plane.
We have a president who is a moron, and a president whose legitimacy is questionable in that
he wasn't elected by a majority of the people. Although the US media has been working hard
to prop Bush up, Bush has no stature in the rest of the world.

And China is taking advantage of our weak president.

What we need now is someone to step in to represent America who does have world class stature
who can bring our people home. It's time for President Bush to reach across party lines and ask
President Clinton to help get our people back and normalize relations with China. We can afford to
risk an international escalation because the Republicans are too proud to bring in real talent.

 TV Talk

 'South Park’ creators take on George W.
  Live-action sitcom puts humor first — in a nicely spoofy way
   by Tom Shales   The Washington Post

 Click  Here

 The Facts:
 Letterman keeps bragging about the size of Paul's new band.
 He keeps telling Paul, "We gotta have a BIG band in here."

 Last week, Dave said the band should have 200 musicians in it.
 If I heard correctly last night, Dave mentioned a "thousand-member" band.

 What the Facts Mean:

 Dave keeps pushing Leslie Moonves, president of CBS.
 Dave is daring Moonves to fire him.
 Dave has been taunting Moonves mercilessly, and continuously for many weeks,
 and a big chunk of that goes back to the day, (reported here at
 when Moonves sent word to Dave he had to re-do the Top Ten list, because it was
 Top Ten Ways You Can Tell 'Survivor' is Fixed, if I remember correctly.
 So, Dave's been nailing Moonves for all these weeks, and it's escalating.

 From the way Dave's acting, I have surmised the following:

 Moonves sent word to Dave that "a contract is a contract," and it figures the network
 has final say over what gets broadcast, so the Network had a right to cencor his Top Ten.

 So, is that the way they want to play? Dave asks himself.
 If it's 'in the contract,'  it's 'in the contract?'

 So, Dave has his lawyers and his comedy writers search his contract for "Easter eggs."
 Someone notices the contract says that CBS will pay "All band salaries and expenses,"
 and "The Band" is whatever Paul and Dave say it is,

 Bring It On Home

 Dave has a temper.

 I like people who have short tempers, (except for OJ)
 I want my president to have a temper, maybe even Smirk.
 (It's OK. Uncle Dick won't let him do anything...)
 But Dave is pissed as hell and, unlike some Democrats I could name, he's fighting back!

 Uh, do you gear up for war with a man named "Leslie?"

 So, Moonves wants to play hardball with the contract, eh?
 Dave is threatening to hire a thousand band members just to goad Moonves.
 Another thing, I'll bet Dave has a dozen of these in his game plan.
 Once they get thru Dave's "Big Band" ideas, he'll start with idea Number Two.
 You don't want to mess with Dave, especially when he's pissed off.
 Dave's got too much power.
 Who would CBS stockholders rather have?  Dave or Leslie?

 This is interesting as Hell, and I've never seen an article about it, have you?
 If you see one, would you send it to me?

 Or, this could be one of those "Duhs" where I'm the last to know...

 But I think it's interesting as hell...

 I've always said I don't mind others borrowing from

 Click  Here

 Those are good guys over at

 Joe Conason on Ted Olson

 Click  Here

 TV Talk

 We got trouble.
 Remember this from yesterday?

 >False Alarm Hope

> Last night, on Leno, Martin Sheen said in tonight's West Wing,
> the president "begins his downward spiral with MS."

> Let's hope he was talking "funny," and that this is a false alarm.
> I don't want to watch a multi-epiosde arc where Bartlet deteriorates before our eyes.
> The show won't work without him, and nobody is going to watch a show with President Otter.

> Wouldn't that be just like Hollywood to have the best show on free TV and "fix it?"

 Last night's West Wing was easily the worst show they've ever done.
 This "downward spiral" looks like it's going to be really ugly.
 They've got key people at each other's throats, and this problem doesn't have a "quick fix."

 Oh, sure... they could turn around The First Lady by just having her change her mind, but the MS
 can't suddenly go into remission and be a non-issue, because that'd make Toby a whore.

 ...and thanks to the producers of West Wing for making perhaps the last standing Democrat
 a flawed fraud with an ego so large, he's blind to the issue of the country's safety.
 I mean, President Bartlet is the president we wish we had, instead of the Failure in Thief.

 Any ideas how they get out of this?

 The words that take away hope were Sheen's "begins the downward spiral."
 How many "downward" shows will we get?
 How much fun is watching this gang go thru hell?

 Did somebody go on vacation?
 Here's how last night' show should have worked.
 The entire subplot about writing a funny speech was bungled worse than Bush's Kuwaiit.

 The only reason you spend the first half of the show talking about how unfunny something is,
 is so when, at the last moment, the can't-be-funny speech turns into a Chris Rock monolog.
 You set it the killer laughs at the end by having them say, a hundred times, "this isn't funny."
 That's how it was supposed to work.  We were even robbed of that.
 Besides being a harbinger of dark, dark shows to come, what purpose did tonight's show serve?

 Let's hope this is a temporary bump.
 Still, "downward spiral" sticks in my head.


 Paul Harvey - Explained

 Click  Here

  TV Talk

 That's my Bush

 If I had a clue, I'd say so.

 Trey said this was a parody of a sitcom.
 It's seems to be a parody of a very, very bad sitcom.
 The laughtrack is more overbearing than Laura the Unloved on Mother's Day.

 Sure, there were some decent jokes in it, I think I have a few...

 Smirk:  I'm such a pussy!

 Pickles: That's my Bush!

 Sorry, I was looking for a joke...

 Sure, I enjoyed the cheap shots at Smirk, but this wasn't extra-snappy writing,
 as much as I hate to disagree with the great Tom Shales of the Whore Post,
 I've only seen three minutes of Howard Stern's "Son of the Beach,"
 but "That's My Bush" seems to be a close cousin.

 Yes, the aborted fetus getting thrown on the runaway dog's back had good shock value,
 and I laughed out loud, when the fetus screamed, "Hi-o Silver, ...away!"

 Maybe I was too straight and too sober to get the joke...

 In fairness, because I always liked these guys, even if I don't always like their work.  I should watch
 another show or two before I make up my mind, but the guy playing Smirk reminded me more of
 Larry Storch than the cold-hearted, larcenous Freeper who stole the vote in the last election.

 Trey said this wasn't about politics, that it was about the humor.
 Well, maybe the second show will be better.

                                      Click on the bumpersticker to order one.


Subject: Catholic Dogma

Hey, BartCop:
You wrote:

> Real Catholics believe that every word from the Pope's mouth is dogma.

I'm afraid that you're wrong on this one, at least from a doctrinal point of view.
Roman Catholics do hold the Pope to be infallible but ONLY IF an
Ex Cathedra proclamation is being made from the Throne of Peter.
Otherwise, he's just a guy with--some good, some bad--advice.

The last Ex Catheda proclamation was (I think) in the forties, saying that Catholics must
believe that Mary was a virgin when she was assumed into Heaven. Or something like that.

Anyway, Popes don't make those "infallable" statements very often, and usually it's about
internal Church dogma. Otherwise, it's perfectly acceptable for the RC Church to tell
the Pope to go dangle (not that they would...pity...).

--Aaron "Recovered Catholic"

...Ohhhhh...., this is such a can of worms.
We gotta agree up front to come out of this OK, right?

(clears the throat...)

I don't know how someone can get into religion halfway.
I believe what you're saying about the Throne of Peter.
If I'm not mistaken, the Pope also has to "hold his Holy staff" when he proclaims.

But if you use your logic, doesn't that mean that all those other hundreds of Papal statements
mean nothing, if he's not, in effect, "Swearing to Koresh?"

Round here, I poke fun.
If I'm talking serious, I say "Swear to Koresh,' so there'll be no mistake.
But I'm not The Pope.

Here's the deal:
The Pope is the leader of all Catholics.
The Pope speaks on the issues that affect each Catholic.
Sometimes he means what he says, sometimes he doesn't?

When I was held captive by them, the nuns used to say things like:
"If the Pope says the Cardinals will win or predicts it'll rain Friday, he's not infallible."
But, gee, what is he's talking about abortion or the death penalty?

You said, in effect, the last time the Pope was infallible was in the forties,
which was before The Pill, which means even tho The Pope has condemned The Pill,
he didn't speak from the Cone of Silence so we need not hear his words?

Is that the "spirit" of the law?

The Pill is OK for Catholics because The Pope wasn't on the thone?
That means, whatever he says off the throne is just ...throwaway meanderings, right?

That's no way to run a religion.
Current Campaign Finance laws hold more water than, "He wasn't sitting in the right chair,"
That's more crazy than "He dialed the wrong phone."

My bitch is this...,

( thought he'd never get to it...)

if Catholics,...if people of strong religious faith can pick and choose which rules count, why bother?
Why would a good Catholic get deeeeep into the Catholic dogma, learn all the details,
if the Pope only speaks "for real" every sixty years or so?

In closing, to a non-believer, Papal speak is like testimony.
The Pope is either under oath, ...or he's not.

If he's not under oath, even Catholics apparently won't pay attention.
and if we haven't paid attention in sixty years, how relevant could The Pope be?

Remember now, ...these are questions, not attacks.


 That wacky King of Debate, Will Commer, sent me a really complimentary note.
 Of course, he was trying to be a hateful shit, but look what he wrote:


 I asked BC about how his web site is being financed and he comes back with ridiculous statements
 about the cost. Heck,  has high speed access, an adequate web page management system,
 links to many other socialist web sites, and a good sized archive, plus good response time on its server.
 Can all of that be done for only "$300" per month?
 I doubt it.
 It looks like the DNC and other leftist socialist groups are giving BC's web site a free ride.

 Isn't that sweet?
 He thinks  is some hot, slick site, run by the deep pockets from the DNC!
 ha ha
 He doesn't know I have to go offline when the squirrel gets tired.
 That was the nicest thing anyone's ever said about
 Thanks, Will.

 But then he went to Fantasyland:

 BTW, ask him about the so-called debate.  Ask BC if he "won" and his answer will be "of course"
 since he is doing his own scoring, even though he cannot add even little numbers. The so-called debate
 was not one and certainly there was no winner since his side was all puerile and, like his web page, stupid.
 You cannot have a debate with the likes of BC.

 ha ha

 This - from the guy who wrote, and I quote directly from the transcript:

 yeah, i raped BC (Bill Clinton) & it wasn't good!

 You're right, Will.
 You and I can't have an adult debate.

From: Ken from Saskatchewan

Subject:  Spy Planes

Hi Bartcop,
    This is Ken from Saskatchewan. How you doing eh?

Hope the men and women on that US spy plane are returned safe and sound.
Just thought I'd let you know something the US media is probably not talking about too much.

It invovles the sovereign territorial rights of aircraft and how your current administration is all pissed off
that the Chinese boarded the plane. In 1976 Soviet Lieutenant Victor Belenko stole a MIG-25 and
defected to Japan. The MIG-25 was one of the most sophisticated fighter aircraft at that time.

The plane was eventually returned to the Soviet Union but only after it was thoroughly examined by
US military investigators. Sorta makes the whole soverignty issue espoused by the current administration
a bit hypocritcal.   Just thought you might like to know that little tid bit of information.
    Love your web page, keep up the good work.


Ken, good note!
That reminded me, the military released the information that the MIG-25 was held together by
"paper clips and baling wire,"  if that's how you spell wire used to bale hay.

You are correct.
When you land your spy plane in the other guy's country, they get a look!
We'd be crazy to expect the Chi-Comms to hold to a higher standard than ours.

It can't be wrong to face the truth.


Subject:  Are you absolutely retarded?

I browsed your site long enough to see that you support your slanderous attacks with zero fact.

You make claims that Rush Limbaugh is a lying nazi but never offer to explain why.
Whether or not he is, is not half as important to the simple reason why you would say that.

I'd love to hear you explain why but I have the strangest feeling you have no fact based, reality-based reason.
You are a bigger close minded bigot than you probably think he is.

What kind of person thinks an admitted adulterer, liar, cheater, and deceptionist is a great president?
Why you do.

It's probably only because you are such an outrageous asshole that seeing slick Willy get away with it
makes you feel justified in being the biggest asshole you can be.

ha ha
This guy must've gone to Dick Armey's charm school.

You probably will not share this on your site and that's fine.
Just try to open your mind to the truth, you extra dimensional moron.

Joe Wagner

How many times have we been here?

You say my problem is a lack of facts, logic and reason?
So, you'd have no trouble taking me apart in a live one-on-one debate, right?

Christ, we're stuck in some time loop, where ditto-monkeys show up every week,
only to be defanged and humiliated while I sip some fine luxury tequila.

I really need an agent.
I need someone to F with these weakly challengers.
I don't have the time to spend with every about-to-eat-it, ditto-monkeyspank.

Position Wanted
Dito-Monkey handler
No experience needed, but having nine grown kids is a solid plus.
Must be able to handle knuckleheaded sheep for hours at a time.

So, Joe, let me ask you this:

When are you free for a little debate?
I thought I might be busy tonight, but Huckster left his balls in his pink tutu.

You free, Joe?
Maybe around 10 PM CST?

ha ha

Ditto monkeys are all the same.
They talk REAL BIG until you get them in a live chat room.
Then they're all "Whatcha wanna talk about?"

 Debate Feedback

 Click  Here


 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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