Far, Far Horizon........LiveWeb
BartCop Tax Plan....JFK
..............................BartCop Store............................................................................ ...... .........................................................................................................................................................................Support Bartcop.com
.......................................................................................................................................................................POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155
From: Lanny Kiedrowski
Subject: You learn nothing new at bartcop.com
Hey Democrats, Socialists and Commies, Take heed! You Lost!
You will continue to lose until you change your
evil ways. Bartcop is not the answer.
Your mind shrivels when read bartcop droning on and on about Robot Liberal silliness.
His Socialist/Communist Barbra Streisand does
not work, has not worked, will not work.
It is a lunatic strategy. Listen to Rush Limbaugh and hear both sides of all issues.
Watch the abrasive and brilliant Bill O'Reilly
on Fox News.
Watch the lively debates of the thinking liberal Alan Colmes and the tough young
Conservative Sean Hannity. Learn something instead of memorizing the DNC's
"talking points" by reading Robot Bartcop crap.
Just remember who the President is for the next 8 years! George W. Bush.
Show him respect. Maybe someone will listen
to you then instead of ignoring you as
pantywaisted wimpasses, weenies, and liars. Wise up you punks!
Smell the roses instead of sticking your heads in horseshit and thinking everything stinks.
It is just your attitude that reeks.
The BartCop Fan Club Crusher
Notice he didn't sign off, "willing to debate."
This nutjob sent me a picture of Hitler saying "I love BartCop," with the orders, "Print this!"
If I could find it, I would.
If arsenic has become the environmental
issue that captivates the public,
it is but a teacup in the sea change of environmental policy that has washed over
Washington with the coming of the Bush administration.
Basically, it tells us with the subtlety
of a sledgehammer why Ralph Nader was a moron
for saying that it didn't matter if his candidacy cost Al Gore the presidency. The dime's worth
of difference that Nader said didn't exist already has saved the nation's polluters billions in
costs and may have cost future generations their ability to survive on this Earth.
Way to go, Ralph.
-- Robert Reno in the Miami Herald
Ain't that the truth?
Dennis Miller says that Tom Green (U-Moron) "jacks a horse
off" in his new film "Fingering Freddy."
It just premiered today, but I'll bet Paul Harvey has seen it 6 times.
If you like Tom Green, do not write and tell me why.
You have no chance of convincing me he's a human being.
I'd rather go and live with Larry Klayman than share a short cab ride with Tom Green.
She was never my favorite, but now I feel so sorry for her.
They say she's pregnant with it's child.
Wanna bet that kid is more whacked than Scully's?
The X-Files are known for their season-ending Mulder-is-dead-for-sure-this-time cliffhangers,
but since his last show ever is in five weeks, the cliffhanger this time will be what comes out of Scully.
This once-great show is handjobbing its loyal viewers to death.
I ran into an old link tonight, "Dennis Miller vs Rush for MNF," and I had a thought.
Since Miller did a 180 turnaround after his year on MNF,
had Rush gotten the job, would he have changed, too?
I saw this picture in my attachment folder.
I don't know who this is, but I like it!
“Racist! You’re a racist!”
by Bryan Zepp Jamieson
One Whore Confesses, ...sort of...
The Story Sofa
By Al Kamen, Washington Whore Post
Thursday, April 19, 2001;
Remember the furniture flap over the Clintons moving items from the
White House that we swore
were government property and not for the Clintons to take? It's not over yet.
After questions arose about the ownership of some items "stolen" by
the Clintons, they shipped back
$28,500 worth of furniture, including a coffee table, an armoire, a game table and some paintings.
Now it turns out the National Park Service, which handles gifts to the
White House, has been reviewing
the questioned items with the White House usher's office and contacting donors.
While some donors said they hadn't intended for their gifts to go to
the Clintons, others said they had.
Gifts to the White House are tax-deductible but gifts to the first family are not, so it was easy to
verify that people who didn't take deductions intended the items for the Clintons.
And wouldn't you know it, there's word that some items
may have belonged to the Clintons after all.
So some gifts, shipped at government expense to Chappaqua and returned by the Clintons at their expense,
might now have to be reshipped to New York at government expense. Since we're money-grubbing ink sluts,
we're burying our retraction on Page A-17 so America will cntinue to think the Clintons stole something.
You see, ihating the Clintons is good business, and it's all about making a buck, you gullible shits.
Remember how we got stuck with President Weak & Stupid?
Some "non-partisan" members of the Whore Court want to retire,
but these "non-partisan" members didn't want Gore to choose their replacements,
so they fucking lied, cheated and stole to grease the idiot Smirk's victory.
Compare that outrage to Clinton's "Crime of the Century" blowjobs.
Here's a pretty slick page by a long-time bartcop.com reader
Subject: Ehime Maru and the protected fat cats - Ain't that just fucking great?
Well ain't that fucking great? Cmdr. Waddle
gets to virtually walk away with a pension
for making a mistake that cost 9 lives. The only thing he's suffering is having to look for
a new job and a bruised reputation (which will heal after this plays out of the media consciousness).
The other sub crew members whose lapse of competence aloso helped contribute to this mess
will get similar lenient treatment.
Of course you know the most infuriating thing
is that none of those Republican fat cat bozos
has to suffer any kind of consequences. I mean, not even a monetary settlement?
They helped contribute to 9 deaths. I don't care what Adm. Fargo has to say.
The donor joy ride is a shitty idea that was an accident waiting to happen.
My question: where are the investigations?
Where are the congressional subcommittees?
This is legitimate, man.
Isn't anybody going to step up to the plate and
have public hearings so stupid joy rides
and buying access to power won't cost any more lives? Where are the Dems?
I don't think it's just politics to investigate these kinds of matters.
But, if the Dems and some fair-minded republicans
did hold hearings,
you know that Burton et al. would scream about "politicizing a tragedy."
Well, I say so fucking what?
Maybe this particular tragedy could be the catalyst for REAL INVESTIGATIONS and reform.
Thanks for listening bro.
I don't see this tragedy as Waddle's fault.
He had no motivation for showing off.
The Pentagon (read Uncle Dick Cheney) ordered Waddle to entertain the GOP Fat cats.
He didn't have the option of sayin, "That's not a good idea, Sir."
My question: where are the investigations?
Where are the congressional subcommittees?
This is legitimate, man.
The whore media has been screaming "Lincoln Bedroom" for years
and that was harmless.
Smirk ups the ante, nine people die, and the whore press goes to sleep.
If it doesn't involve Clinton's cock, the press will not cover a story.
Where are the Dems?
Shirley U. Geste.
There are no more Democrats.
They've all turned into big fans of President Weak & Stupid.
They're scared little bunnies, begging for crumbs.
With the Democrats corrupted, and the press asleep, Smirk gets another
just like his inherited millions, the Texas Rangers, the governorship & presidency.
Now he can do whatever he fucking wants, and nobody will call him on it.
They're just too scared.
You want to see what a REAL crime looks like?
Click Here for the NYW Times link
Click Here for the forever version
Mr. Walsh hinted that Mr. Bush's pardon of Mr. Weinberger and the President's own role
in the affair could be related. For the first time, he charged that Mr. Weinberger's notes about
the secret decision to sell arms to Iran, a central piece of evidence in the case against Weinberger,
included 'evidence of a conspiracy among the highest ranking Reagan Administration officials
to lie to Congress and the American public.'
These are REAL crimes.
The crimes were so big, Bush sacrificed his presidency
to hide them, whatever they were.
You can scream "conspiracy monger" at me all day, but Bush once ran the CIA.
Once you've run the CIA, very few things are impossible.
America has been tricked into eating Rhohypnol.
We've been raped, several times, by many men, but we can't really remember what happened.
Thanks to Cfortunato
"After threatening to walk away, American negotiators
ended two days of talks
aimed at getting our plane back from the Chinese skyjackers.
The talks ended on a note of optimism," the NY Whore Times reports.
Threatened to walk away?
Can they be that stupid?
China wouldn't mind if we walked away - they have our plane.
Can they be that stupid?
God, I miss Dan Quayle.
Have you ever noticed how often Playboy Playmates are photographed
Is there something sexy about a girl washing a car?
Or maybe Hef just likes a clean car and he's cheap.
Subject: I need Proof
I need the scan of Weinberger flashing that Bush-eating
grin because he was pardoned...
I got into an argument with someone who denied it, went to show it to them, but the link is toast.
....conspiracy, or just computer mischief?
Just remember, even though it may sound crazy,
the man sold weapons to our declared enemies,
while making deals for them to keep our hostages LONGER.
Here's your scan, Dude.
Where's that broken link?
We changed a bunch of behind-the-scenes stuff on the server.
So if anyone finds a broken link or missing picture, let me know.
Put "broken link" in the subject line.
A Word from Frank Zappa
Subject: The only fly in the ointment about your Jeb/Columba theory
>"How do people like Jeb Bush sacrifice their God for a girlfriend? "
Easy, the Bush family God is money and nothing
Why he converted is anybody's guess aside from her asking him to.
Maybe he thought a Catholic Hispanic wife could come in handy down the political road.
Why he moved to Florida is another question.
I guess the Bush boys have to spread out to mess up more than one state.
If I were in Colorado I'd be nervous that Neil was thinking of showing his
face again after the Silverado debacle.
Why is the big-spending draft-dodger so popular with today's Republicans?
A famous poet put it this way, in Volume 454
"You glorify the past
When the future dries up."
The reason Reagan is so popular is that he's not Nixon and he's not Bush.
Now Hear This
"It's OK for a working widow to put her kids in day care."
Laura the Unloved, always with the "even ifs."
Subject: Great Rant!
Bart, when a rant this good (CBIX's
rant on the holier-than-thou dipshit
denying college aid to someone who's smoked a joint) gets put into writing,
we should encourage everyone to SEND IT TO THEIR CONGRESSCRITTERS!
In fact, for maximum impact, it should be printed out and faxed or mailed
hardcopy to the bunch of weenies.
Maybe they can use the stack of paper to stiffen their spines.
Of course, we all know that this is supposed to be an indirect slap
Clinton, since the whore press won't purse the bastard idiot's cocaine convictions.
Did you hear the First Moron today?
He went to Canada and spoke Spanish, causing the good people of Quebec to riot!
Why isn't Uncle Dick watching him more closely?
Subject: Judge's bad judgment
Just four months ago, Florida Secretary
of State Katherine Harris was the defendant before
Circuit Judge N. Sanders Sauls of Tallahassee in one of the biggest cases that any court will ever hear.
His ruling that she didn't have to recount Florida presidential ballots was a big break for George W. Bush,
who ultimately won the state's 25 electoral votes after the U.S. Supreme Court intervened and stopped
the recount of disputed ballots.
Now, the South Carolina chapter of
FreeRepublic.com, a stridently conservative organization, has proposed
to honor Harris and Sauls at a meeting in June at an island resort, where Harris would also be the principal speaker.
Sauls accepted the invitation as a welcome opportunity to meet Harris for the first time.
Is he the only person who doesn't see something wrong with that?
Even Harris has reconsidered, though
there is no ethical reason she couldn't attend.
And if she doesn't go, says Sauls, he may not either. But he shouldn't have agreed in the first place.
Sauls says he accepted only on
the group's assurance that it isn't partisan
and that it wouldn't be a fundraising event. Either circumstance, he admits,
would clearly violate judicial ethics rules.
But there's also a general rule that "a judge shall avoid impropriety and the appearance of impropriety in all of the judge's activities." At the very least, Sauls should have sought an opinion from the Florida Supreme Court's Judicial Ethics Advisory Committee before agreeing to share FreeRepublic's applause with a recent litigant in any case, let alone one of such enormous significance.
FreeRepublic, which concedes it is too political for its donors to take tax exemptions, organized a 1998 rally calling for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. It created the "SoreLoserman" T-shirts.
Its honoree last year was Linda Tripp.
Subject: Cheney's Health....
It was reported that President Bush was embarrassed
when a discussion of the VP's angina was the topic.
Bush said that "Men don't have anginas, only women do."
Then he was told that Cheney had acute
Bush said, "How do you know that? I've never heard it was cute."
Den, is that a true story?
In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, President Weak &
Stupid, a spectacular- looking blonde
and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passed through a dark tunnel,
and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.
When they leave the tunnel, Smirk had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
(1) The blonde thought - "That idiot President wanted to cop a
feel, and by mistake, he must have
put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face"
(2) The fat lady thought - "That smirking moron laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
(3) President W&S thought - "Clinton must've put his hand on that blonde and she slapped me by mistake".
(4) Clinton thought - "I'm gonna smack the Smirk every time we go through a tunnel".
Some people wrote to say they saw you on Ben Stein's show.
Tell us what happened.
You're "Actress at Large."
We want to hear some Hollywood stories.
Subject: Win Ben Stein's Money:
Perhaps that is only a euphemism for the deeper evil....
Yes, it was back in it's 2nd season. ('97)
I never thought I'd go on a game show, but a friend of mine who had just gone on the show recommended me.
They were looking for "cutie patootie perky people who were smart quick and funny".
I guess my friend C.J. thought I fit the bill. They called me one afternoon and awoke me from a catch-up nap
(which is probably why I spoke to them). They told me my friend had said I was "Perfect" for the show,
and talked me into answering ten questions over the phone. All were straight forward questions where I supplied
the answer - no multiple choice. Its hard to remember, but some were "Who wrote The Three Musketeers?
What is the capital of Nebraska? What are long thin cut vegetables called (type of cut)?"
Anyway, I got them all right, so they wanted me to come down and take the test.
I hesitated, but they said, "Just come take the test, you don't have to do the show, but you might find it fun."
It was in the evening, and there were about 65
people there to test. It was a 30 question written test with questions
and then a blank to fill in the answer. There were two different tests, so every other person had a different one
so no one could cheat. I can't remember how much time we had, I think it was twenty minutes or so.
We had to get at least half correct in order to stay and play a mock game.
The first question on my test was "What play is the character Shylock from?"
What are the chances this BARD GAL would get a SHAKESPEARE QUESTION???!!!
There was also a question about Odette (Swan Lake).
After grading the tests - they come back and read
off the names of the people they want to stay to play the mock game,
the rest are welcome to come back in six months and retest.... GOOD BYE.
So I stayed and they sucked me in. It was actually
pretty fun playing the game, and the producers were a total hoot.
I was told I made "cutie-patootie" grade, and they called me about a month after that with a tape date.
Before the taping the producers went over all
the rules, and specifics of how the buzzer works,
and to make sure NOT to form your answer as a question since that is the OTHER quiz show, not THIS one.
So no matter what, don't answer with "who is", "what is", etc. Of course during taping, the first answer to come
out of the poor guy next to me's mouth was, "what is..." Well it was the 2nd season and they had started using
the dunce cap, so out it came, and Ben made a big deal and made the poor guy wear it for the rest of the show.
I didn't completely suck, but the first round
I couldn't get my timing on the electric buzzer,
so I wasn't ringing in fast enough to answer. The Producers even came up to me at the first break
to see if my buzzer was working, and to give me encouragement, saying they really needed a female
to get to the finals with Ben. After that I was all over it, and racked up some bucks. At the end of round one
Dunce Boy left, and Ben joined us, standing to my left as I was in the middle position.
Can I just say, Ben is a breast man. It
was almost like being in High School and having a guy talk to your chest
instead of your face. Anyway, he was very...... how can I say? flirtatious with me, and made a BIG DEAL
everytime I beat him at the buzzer and answered a question correctly. I was nearly there, a close second,
had control of the next question and there on the board was a perfect one just for me: "Now I Ballet Me Down To Sleep" Which must have been about Tchaikovsky's The Sleeping Beauty! When the damned cuckoo clock went off! booooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
I didn't go up against Ben but I did get a watch
- ooooh ahh. Ben was very sorry to see me go, fawing and holding
my hand...and then gave me his email address. After I left the stage,
and they started the last part of the show,
Jimmy Kimmel made a comment about Ben trying to get my phone number, that made it onto the show!
I emailed him to say thanks, and that I had fun.
He emailed me back and started an online dialog which mostly
consisted of talking about his adopted son. Then it got weird.....(too bad I don't still have any of them)
he started asking me to come see his house which I thought to myself a bit odd, to which I never really
responded, then finally he wrote "Are you ready to come over and Entertain me." I wrote back asking what
exactly he meant by 'entertain', to which he responded, "Entertain in this context means to have sex."
I should have asked him if that approach actually
works with females,
but instead I said I had more of a vision of bringing along a friend who makes
balloon animals to have fun with his ten year old son. I then gracefully declined his offer.
I mean - eeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
That was good.
You should do more of those just so you can write about 'em.
The "I Hate Bush Fan Club" will be 1 year old on April 30, 2001.
In honor of this Birthday could you please get one or two of your friends to join our club?
Our address is: Http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/IhateBushFanClub
Satan Visits Sarasota
Is it illegitimate president or bastard president?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.