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White House Ultimatum:
"Stop writing about Bush family crimes,"*
a snarling Ari Fleischer barked at reporters in Washington.
"This is forbidden!!!
Dick and Karl are not pleased.
I would urge all of you to very carefully think
through how much you want to pursue this.
Bush family crimes are private!"
*Translated from the original German by Wolfgang Uber:
"Stoppen Sie, über die Buschfamilie Verbrechen zu schreiben,* " ein
Ari Fleischer abgestreift an den Reportern in Washington. "
Dieses ist verboten!
Onkel Dick und Karl sind nicht erfreut. Ich würde die ganze Sie drängen,
sehr sorgfältig zu denken durch, wieviel Sie dieses ausüben wünschen.
Buschfamilie Verbrechen sind privat! "
Subject: Jenna Spin
What did Rush and Laura have to say about Jenna's
I haven't heard.
Laura is on a one-day delay here, maybe she'll gloss over tomorrow.
The vulgar Pigboy was screaming mostly about "the mere six percent"
that BIG OIL is gouging from California, but when he got around to
mentioning Jenna, he said the press always gave the Clinton's "a free ride,"
as though nine years inside Bill's zipper constituted "helping" him.
The rape allegations, the baby with the crack whore allegations,
the Paula Jones allegations and the Kathleen Willey allegations
(there are hundreds more - you get the point) were just examples of
"the willing accomplices in the press fawning over do-no-wrong Clinton."
He said there was "a clear double-standard,"
when the press refused to make
a big deal out of the allegation that Chelsea may have smoked a cigarette,
while "making a big deal" out of Jenna's monthly, drunken brushes with the law.
He said the press never reported Chelsea's crimes because Bill said,
"Please don't" so Chelsea "just got away with everything."
In other words, typical nobody-to-call-me-on-it Limbaugh horseshit.
From: John Huang
Subject: Jenna Bush
You mean to tell me a college freshman tried to
buy booze with a fake ID!
Somebody call the national guard.
(personal slurs against the never-been-arrested Chelsea Clinton removed)
Give it a rest Bartcop.
I've been waiting for someone to say that.
Glad it was you.
Give it a rest?
Tell you what - one year
after the GOP stops reaching into Clinton's zipper,
I'll begin to consider to entertain the idea to start to wind down the Jenna got arrested again stories.
TV Guide I
It's rare that I get the point and the "experts" don't.
Sure, NBC played the whore with their "five minute" horseshit
but you can't hold
Sorkin, Schlamme and Wells responsible for Jack Welch being such a whore.
The point was never how close we were to Mrs. Landingham, although
her story of
her sons dying in scared and alone in Vietnam touched the hearts of all non-Republicans.
The point was how close Landingham was to Bartlet.
She got him into politics.
She also kept him in politics after he'd decided to give up.
Are you guys, ...like, ...stupid not to understand her importance?
Hollywood? but of coarse we all no how right
wing BS, beatty, and "the natural" are?
Me thinks you're not that savy a media watcher as you think you are.
...anybody have a clue?
Wait a minute...
If Jeffords was the left-leaning, never-voted-with-us-anyway,
never-met-a-tax-hike-he-didn't-like bastard who's as bad as the GOP claims he was,
...and knowing that,
...and knowing he was the only glue that held together the GOP triumvirate together,
...and knowing that,
Uncle Dick intentionally slighted the guy on that Teacher-of-the-Year
which they say might kill Star Wars, the Alaskan agenda and BIG OIL's gounging spree,
...wasn't that just about the biggest mistake a new admisistration
(Based on the assumption the Gelding Democrats wake up.)
13 scariest white guys in America
By Don Hazen at alternet.org
Subject: Jenna Bush needs faith-based alcohol treatment
I just had an idea, Bartcop.
Since Jenna Bush seems to be developing an alcohol
why doesn't Dubya send her to one of those faith-based treatment centers?
You know, the kind that beat the crap out of the
kids and make them
memorize Bible-verses as a 'treatment' for addiction.
Perhaps the House of Prayer in Atlanta (the one
who is getting charged
with abusing children) would do a good job with her. After all, everyone
knows that 30 minute beatings, when done in the Spirit of Christ, are
the best way to discourage sin.
Below the Waterline
The Beginning of the End for Usurper Boy and His Junta
By Tamara Baker
TV Guide II
From Twin Peaks to The X-Files to The Sopranos,
TV Guide's Matt Roush has been more trustworthy than the F.D.I.C.
He's the best TV critic in the business - and has been for a decade.
A shot of Chinaco Anejo for Matt Roush.
"President Bush is in California to meet
with Governor Davis about our energy crisis.
Davis said Bush sets a bad 'cause the lights are on and nobody's home."
-- Bill Maher
1997 Texas Drug and Alcohol Laws
Lawmakers Get Tough on Teen Substance Use and Abuse,
...unless your name is Bush
Young people wanting to drink alcohol will find Texas a far less tolerant state in the wake
of the 1997 session of the Texas Legislature. Lawmakers toughened the stateís alcohol
regulations in a variety of ways, but none tougher than the stateís official stand on use
of alcohol by teenagers, ...unless your name is Bush.
"There is something liberating about being
in the minority.
I and other GOP senators will be freer to advocate positions
and amendments we really think should be adopted."
-- Trent Lott, lying his ass off.
Join me in shot of Chinaco Anejo luxury tequila for Trent Lott's "liberation."
May you be free the rest of your career, you white-power prick.
Subject: Re: 16 years for the candy bar
I get your point, but just to be factual
and all, it was 16 years for a candy bar.
Dunno the perp's ethnicity. :)
>16-year term for candy bar theft spurs disbelief
>Texas' reputation as a law-and-order state
(unless your name is Bush)
>is receiving worldwide attention after a Tyler jury sentenced a man
>to 16 years in prison for shoplifting a $1 candy bar.
>Calls from around the world have flooded
the Smith County district
>attorney's office after Kenneth Payne, 29, was sentenced to hard time
>for the theft of a Snickers from a Tyler grocery on Dec. 17.
bartcop.com semi-regrets the error.
Some guy in California got life for stealing a piece of pizza
Daughters in the News
Clinton Gives Big Hint Chelsea Heading for Oxford
HAY-ON-WYE, Wales - Bill Clinton hinted Saturday that Chelsea
follow in his footsteps and study at Oxford University.
``I think she is going to school there,'' Clinton told an audience
resolution at the Welsh border town of Hay-on-Wye.
Clinton and his daughter visited Oxford University on Friday,
met several members of the academic staff.
She may attend Oxford in October after her graduation from Stanford.
Like her parents, she has never been arrested.
NRA Opens Children's Branch in Idaho
With their father dead and their mother arrested, the kids are refusing
to answer negotiators who have been trying since Tuesday to coax them out.
The children released the dogs when deputies first approached the house,
and one yelled "Get the guns!'' before the officers pulled back, Sheriff Jarvis said.
This group of Idaho Nazi youth is practicing their Koresh-style suicide drills so they can blame Bill Clinton.
"It's not our place to judge Jenna Bush."
-- Ditto-monkey caller to El Pigbo, end of first hour.
And what was Rush's answer?
"If Jenna had gotten an abortion, she'd
be a hero."
Great logic, Pigboy.
Getting Death Threats
"I'm surprised he's still alive" said one ditto-monkey
Republicans are such great people...
"We ought to take the Supreme Court justices
all out and play golf.
They'd change their minds. I promise you, walking is fundamental."
-- Jack Nicklaus, condemning the whore court for a stupid decision
letís talk about Jenna
by Bryan Zepp Jamieson 5/30/01
Letís talk about your daughter, Jenna. Sheís had a few scrapes with
the law lately, and while none of them are, in themselves, all that
serious, the fact that itís been a continuing thing suggests that there
is a very serious underlying problem.
"If the vast reservoirs of natural energy
sources around the world are not available
to be sold to us at a fair price, why continue to prop up these regimes?
What did President Bush (the elected
one) achieve in preserving Saudi Arabia
and Kuwait if those degenerate monarchs they saved in the Gulf War will not now
trade fairly in the one commodity of value that they hold?"
-- By Robert Scheer, Creator's Syndicate
Why did 200 boys die in Desert Storm?
So the Bush dynasty could rule their conquered kingdom with bulging coffers?
President Weak, Stupid and Crooked doesn't want
cheaper oil prices.
Look at the extra billions his backers are making.
Smirk has a re-election campaign to finance.
Tony hosts look to stop ratings drop
NEW YORK (AP) - Can Matthew Broderick and
Nathan Lane halt the slide in viewers
of the annual Tony Awards telecast? The 2000 Tony Awards was the lowest rated ever,
with an audience estimated at 8.5 million.
Broderick and Lane star in "The Producers,"
the smash Mel Brooks musical that normal folks know exists.
The Tony's were eager to get them to host their show which airs Sunday at 9 p.m. ET on CBS.
I've never seen a Tony Awards show.
I wouldn't watch one unless the alternative was Tom Green.
But I'm going to watch this one (I'm lying - I'll tape it)
because I want to see Mel Brooks accept his multiple awards.
He's got an Oscar, a Grammy and an Emmy.
With a Tony, they could play bridge when he's away.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.