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Pres. Weak & Stupid, shown just before he was injured trying to pronounce the brand name "Husqvarna," at Sequoia Nattional Park. |
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Pres. Weak & Stupid, shown just before he was injured trying to pronounce the brand name "Husqvarna," at Sequoia Nattional Park. |
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..............................BartCop
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Bartcop.com
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Run to the bathroom, take the phone off the hook, get yourself a drink and get ready for...
THE
SENATE SHUFFLE
by Semi@semitrue.com
JENNA HAS A VIDEO COMING OUT
Friends of Jenna Bush say they have a video of the president's daughter
in a drunken state - Texas - and are
threatening to release it. "It was a wild night, and she was feeling
no pain," said a campus source.
Jenna Bush, only 19, was unknowingly captured on tape last month during a rowdy party attended by UT students.
"When that tape gets out, the White House is going to have a kid,"
said one ditto-head.
"Some people want Jenna to fall on her face. On this video, she does
- twice."
(Editor's note:
At press time, it was not clear if Jenna
was nude or clothed in this bootleg video expose'.)
Meanwhile, Secret Service agents have been ordered "not to interfere
with Jenna's drinking,"
according to insiders, "unless she begins to choke on her own vomit."
"Their father promised them they could drink through college, like
he did," the source said.
Agents were waiting outside of Chuy's Tuesday night when Jenna tried
to buy Cuervo margaritas using a fake ID.
"The agents were driving," said the family source, "so Jenna wouldn't
get arrested like her dad & Uncle Dick."
The run in with the law comes less than two weeks after Ms. Bush pleaded
no contest to the latest charges
of underage drinking by the now more-famous-than Britney teenager.
Now Bush may come within one strike of being sent to jail for six months
under the three-strikes-and you're-out bill
that her law-and-order father signed into law while governor of Texas.
President Weak & Stupid on his father's recession
"The economy is moving in the right direction." --10/4/91
"I don't want to buy into the predicate about another recession. I don't feel that way." --10/25/91
"The economy's turned the corner, headed for recovery." --10/31/91
"I'm not prepared to say we are in a recession." --11/8/91
"It will not be a deep recession." --1/4/92
"The economy is in free-fall." --1/15/92
Quotes
"No one at this White House has ever
tried to do anything in California except help
Governor Davis fix his energy
problem and get electricity to the citizens of California.
No one here has been political."
-- Mary Matalin,
stifling a smirk...
Betty
Bowers on Jenna Bush
What Would
Jenna Drink?
I am astounded that I am the only Democrat on the web who
thinks
the whore court should stay out of sports rules, and thinks that
if you
can't compete, you ought to take it like a man and stop whining.
I've been doing this a long time, since 1992, I think,
and never before has there been a subject on which I've stood
alone.
I don't care - I'm not wrong.
This isn't about making doors wide enough for wheelchairs.
This isn't about making ramps on sidewalks.
This isn't about subtitltes for the hearing-impaired.
This is about a guy who can't play by the rules - so he sued
and won.
Isn't there anybody who can talk about this subject without mentioning
the nonsense assertion that walking isn't part of the game?
If walking wasn't part of the game, we would agree on this.
Did Paul Harvey die?
He's been missing for weeks, someone said the last time he spewed
his hate
for Clinton and the majority of voters his voice sounded a little
"hoarse."
We're going to miss Paul Harvey when he's gone, right guys?
So, ...GOP posterboy McVeigh wants to live now?
Fine, let's give him 60 years of sodomy and solitary
confinement
with a web cam on his murdering ass so we can watch.
Remember...
"Government is not the solution - Government
is the problem."
--Red-Ink Reagan, the biggest spender in history
Quotes
"Have you heard that Anne Heche is engaged
...to a man?
Looks like Jeffords wasn't the
only one to switch to Independent."
-- Dave
From: audviz@zecom.com
Subject: Anheiser-Bush...Austin and other cities
Now wasn't this the poor little child that
her father had to hide his own DWI in '76?
Guess she had to do some field study to
understand what he went through.
ha ha
How a lie about sex...also a misdemeanor
is worth shutting down the country
and an inquisition, but two arrests
that are on public record is a private matter?
To quote Bill Bennett, where's the outrage?
Marty, Bill Bennett is a paid-for whore.
He only gets outraged when someone writes him a check.
Scaife won't pay for a true Jenna-drunk-again story.
Guest Editorial
by Tamara Baker
Special to bartcop.com
Honor and dignity?
What was all this about "bringing honor and dignity"
to the White House?
How about hypocrisy -- not to mention arrest
records?
Not only do we have an alleged President and Vice
President with five DUIs between them,
we also have two First Daughters blithely breaking
the very zero-tolerance underage-drinking laws
their father signed off on when he ran the State
of Texas (Click),
and using the Secret Service
as a glorified Dial-A-Ride for their drunken
boyfriends as well.
"Honor and dignity"?
Gee, Chelsea Clinton wasn't -- and isn't -- a
drunken, spoiled, overprivileged brat.
But that didn't stop Rush Limbaugh and other
"family values" and "law and order" conservatives
from calling her all sorts of nasty names, like
the First Dog. One particularly vicious man,
the National Review's John Derbyshire, called
on his readers to murder Chelsea because
she possessed "the Clinton taint".
During her father's last years in office Chelsea
Clinton was too busy to get arrested.
She was doing things like being an ambassador-without-portfolio
to India and Southeast Asia,
spreading goodwill and earning the admiration
and respect of all who met her.
They say that you can tell a lot about parents
by looking at their children.
Chelsea's contemplating going to Oxford, following
in her daddy's footsteps.
Jenna and Barbara are contemplating their arrest
records, just like their DUI daddy
and his multiple-DUI Vice President, Dick Cheney.
God help us all.
Sincerely,
Tamara Baker
Happy 75th Birthday
From: sententia_proficio@hotmail.com
Subject:
In light of how you started your editorial, I dare say you have an unswayable bias against President Bush.
Gee, ya think?
(Whenever they start in mid-conversation, they're talking about The
Liberal Media, above)
However, I can certainly point out a variety of
"media" werein Bush is spoken of in a negative context.
For one, read Molly Ivans' columns, she is an
AP writer and her stories appear nationwide.
That's a damn good point.
Molly is READ by thousands of literate people,
mostly LA, DC and New York.
Whereas Rush, Hannity, Laura are HEARD by millions
of illiterates in "rocks & coyote" country,
and they believe every wild lie they hear.
As another, was there a sitcom produced about Clinton, while he was in office?
No, and I dare say there's not one about Bush, either.
ABC, CNN, NBC, CBS, and yes, even FOX have all run pieces that are less the flattering to Bush.
It's possible that each has, but not like the non-stop 24/7 attacks
on Clinton that, for Christ's sake,
created entire networks to slander him.
As to your comments that all of those listed in
"Exhibit A" had each done "dozens" of stories
against Clinton, I would love to see your research
supporting this.
Good God, do you own a television set?
The following list of sites listed on Yahoo:
(long list of anti-Bush web sites)
So spare me the rightous indignation that there
is no liberalism, or negative comments on Bush, in the media.
Many of the very same reporters you mentioned
in your "Exhibit A" also have made negative comments
about Bush, both during his campaign and certainly
now that he is in office.
Sir, I listed 31 weekly on-air "personalities" who attacked Clinton
with every appearance.
You were challenged to show the other side and came up with Molly Ivins.
You have made my point for me.
Your anger against anyone not in lockstep thinking
with you is apparant through your use of derogatory names.
Grow up, open your eyes and learn that the real
world is not required to pander to your wishes.
Funny, I have not insulted you, yet you attack me, personally.
Is that how you learned to debate at EIB University?
The fact that you consider a Molly Ivins newspaper column "balance"
against
31 televised Clinton haters is the point I was making all along - one
you fail to grasp.
Maybe I'm not the blind one, here.
Horseshoes in Crawford County, TX
DeBeers Update
DeBeers of South Africa has focussed on large
till-sampling programs by the
major diamond extraction companies which has
yielded promising diamond
indicator mineral results. Results are
pending from winter drilling programs by...
Whoops, sorry...
When I saw the headline, I thought Jenna had been arrested again.
As Deep Throat said: Follow the Money
With today's Republican party, that trail leads ...to the zoo?
Fathers Day is coming
Would your dad like a bartcop.com t-shirt?
What about a bartcop.com coffee mug or mouse
pad?
Did you know that Enron Energy Corp is Bush's biggest contributor?
Did you know that Enron is the nation's largest electricity trader?
Did you know that California consumers are is being gouged like crazy?
Did you think that's a coincidence?
Related:
From: johnde@va.prestige.net
Subject: Limbaugh's Creative Accounting
At the end of the first half hour of the Vulgar Pumkin-headed Pigboy's
show today, some idiotic caller
asked porky about some "oil companies making 400 to 500% profits."
What a chowderhead.
That would mean that the companies have profits four to five times
what their revenues are.
Of course, El Rush-bo couldn't let it go. He chided the caller
that perhaps he was talking about
companies that had a 400 to 500% increase in profits as if that was
ok. So if Enron make a
6% profit last year, they are making a 24 to 30% profit this
year. That was ok with Rush.
But Pigboy still could not let it drop so he stated that it was a Liberal
Democratic trick to focus
on a snapshot of profits. He told the faithful sheep about one
major oil company whose profits
were 133% in one quarter, but when the other 9 months were averaged
in, their profit for the year
was only 6%. Now it has been a few years since I earned that
engineering degree, but it seems to me
that this major oil company would need to have losses that averaged
around 36% of revenues in each
of the remaining three quarters.
Does anyone believe this?
And nobody calls him on these foolish statements
Courtesy of thesmokinggun.com
The
Jeffords decision was inevitable
...but the US was unprepared
Special report: George Bush's America
by Martin Woollacott of The
Guardian
Excerpt:
It is pleasing to think that the world
can turn on the pivot of a single Yankee conscience,
that one principled man can occasionally
make all the difference. Everybody agrees that
James Jeffords' decision is of huge importance.
And yet, now that it has happened, it is
clear that if it had not been Senator Jeffords,
somebody or something else would have
turned up to check the Bush presidency.
Yes, we owe a great debt to Senator Jeffords.
Koresh knows the gelding Democrats were too scared to resist.
Happy mail, from an unlikely source...
Do the people at the LA Times read bartcop.com?
SACRAMENTO--When the president holds a "summit"
with a governor, you can figure
one of three things: this president--politically--is
weak, desperate or inept.
With President Bush, we've just seen indications of all three.
Thanks to www.geocities.com/undothecoup/
Texas Retooling Criminal Justice in Wake of Fuhrer
From: patc@labrada.com
Subject: Family Values
BC,
Have you noticed, with all the trouble the Bush
girls have been having, there's nary a parent in sight.
Wouldn't you think that "concerned, loving" parents,
with a free jet airplane at their disposal,
would immediately haul at least one of their
asses to Austin to comfort/confront their child as
they felt the situation warranted?
Sure, maybe Daddy's too busy at the office, but
couldn't Mom get there?
Do you really leave a 19 year-old to go to court
with just a lawyer, no parent
around, if you really have a close loving family
that displays "traditional values?"
To quote a Right Wing cry when inner city kids get in trouble, "WHERE ARE THE PARENTS?"
pc
ha ha
Smirk the Wonder Chimp? Too busy at the office?
You mean too busy exercizing or playing Nintendo?
Uncle Dick could give Smirky the day off.
He's not needed in Washington.
Smirk is as valuable as the "p" in receipt.
Happy Birthday, Lisa Hartman
From: sun-baked@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Casey Martin
If everyone (including you) wants to bitch about
how unfair it is,
then they need to make ALL the Senior PGA players
walk.
No carts at Q-School.
All players must carry their own bags, NO CADDIES!
THEN you can make the argument that walking and
fatigue are factors.
I do not "want to bitch" about Casey Martin.
I want to keep the whore court away from the sports rules.
I have no problem (probably) with the court deciding sports contracts
or discrimination issues etc, but changing the rules of the game?
We're back to four strikes for Mark McGwire because his leg hurts.
Or maybe if a running back has a bad leg, the court should award him
a first down
every time he gains seven yards? Why would you want to
go there?
The high court is made up of whores and thieves.
Let's keep them away from sports.
As someone who has done time in a body cast, I'm not unsypathetic to
Martin,
I just think he needs to learn to play by the same rules as the others.
If he can't play under PGA rules like everybody else, maybe he can
be
the best damn golfer in the "Handicapped Professional Golfers Association."
But your suggestion that everyone be allowed to use golf carts
makes more sense than any suggestion I've heard from anybody.
The pro-Casey camp keeps insisting walking's not part of the game.
Fine.
Let them all ride - at least that way, Casey's not getting an unfair advantage.
Shrub
Flubs His Dub
by Molly Ivins
Excerpt:
Oh, sure, blame it on Texas. It's all our
fault Jim Jeffords walked.
Many, many people in Washington are assuming
"the Texans" in
the White House are responsible for this
massive screw-up.
Whereas everybody in political Austin
assumes it. It's often hard to
discern the difference between Texas Tough
and Texas Stupid.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
bartcop.com
Thanks for the
fumble, Dude.
