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Volume 488 - C9H11N2O4SR

Recent.Old Stuff ...Celebrity-hoe-mails  .Required Reading. The Liberal Media?  ..Crime of the Century?    Kiss My Ass
 World News Links Rush Sings   ..LiveWeb Cams.   ..The BartCop Tax Plan......Clinton's Page        The Ruby Tape 
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 I'm finding requests for ad information buried in the mail pile, so I have a mail box for business purposes.
 To request ad information, or to threaten me a lawsuit, use

 June 4, 2001.  .....   ...Advertise on    ..... .......SPORTS..  ...........  ..Did you hear it? 

 U2 with Britney and Justin?

 Well, I'm not sure they're going to really have Britney and Justin, but U2 is doing a halftime show
 of one of the basketball playoff games, but they didn't say which one, the NBC whores.

 U2 concert review of their Albany show, from the newsgroup:

 Other Notes: Bono mentioned being in the States when John Lennon was killed,
 They showed a video of Charlton Heston talking about guns.  Of course at this point
 the dullards in my section seemed to be CHEERING  for what Charlton said rather than
 getting the real jist of the anti firearm statement.  Perhaps the the video image of the little girl
 picking up her parent's gun was supposed to provoke some thought for the imbeciles who
 didn't get the irony of the statement the first time. In that regard Bono did seem to be more
 political than the last two tours, talking about aids in Africa and 3rd world debt.
 All in all well worth the price of admission and a great performance.

 U2 might be Wednesday, if anyone knows for sure, lemme know.

 The latest Pearl Harbor complaint

 "There weren't enough Hawaiians in the movie."

 That's what Pigboy was squealing today.
 Of course, he hasn't seen the movie.
 Since he's one of the most hated people in America, he can't leave his house
 because, as he put it, "There's no telling who you might run into."

 You mean like the American public, Rush?

 This complaint is just about as valid as the others.
 The reason there weren't any/many Hawaiians in the film is because was a story about what happened at the Naval base.

 If this was a story about a Honolulu cigar store that was bombed by Japan,
 we would've expected to see some Hawaiian customers in his store, right?
 And we would've expoected to see Mr. Hamalagamanagama behind the counter.
 But nooooooooooooo.

 This was a story about military personnel, so there wouldn't be many civilians walking around
 a Navy base on a Sunday morning, now would there?  Hawaii surely wasn't one percent of
 America's population back then, but according to Rush and the hate-Pearl-Harbor crowd,
 there should've been Hawaiians crawling all over the USS Arizona.

 Why is there a built-in hatred for this movie?
 Why are they picking on things like the number of  Hawaiians scene in the film,
 or the claim they make that the lipstick the women wore made them look "whorish."

 Y'know, there are dozens of celebrity pictures in the BartCop collection, including
 hundreds of stars of the forties - and they're all in black and white.

 Here's a picture of Audrey Hepburn from the 40's.
 As dark as that lipstick looks, I'll bet it's cherry red.
 Does that mean Audrey Hepburn wore makeup to look like a whore?

 Can today's film critics be so stupid that they don't realize that?

 Uh Oh, I just realized something...

 I didn't get everyone's permission to have an opinion on Pearl Harbor.
 I better watch my ass.


Subject: Las Vegas?

Is there to be a Bartcop Party in Vegas ?

h, beaudreau

My best guess is yes, but what does that mean?
It seems so egocentric, but I'd like to kick around the idea of why anybody would want to meet me.
If you (or anybody) did, your first thought would be, "That's him?"    Then what?

Again, ...I realize I'm not Robin Williams, but I just read a TV Guide account of
a TV interview with Robin to be showed this week. They said he was fantastic to meet.
He did all his funny voices and characters and told his wild & wacky stories and
he was the most entertaining SOB you could ever ask for.

But if you met me, I'd be quiet and polite and boring and all that money you spent to get to
"The Great BartCop Vegas Tequilafest" would turn out to be the biggest letdown you could imagine.

...and reading your account of it on the BartCop Forum when you got home
(shudder) is enough to make me want to locate a bridge to jump off of.

On the other hand, if 50-60 people wanted to go, maybe we could get a price break
on a floor of rooms, but what are the odds of that happening?

But how cool would that be?
If we had one wing of one floor of some fine casino.
It would be "our" casino for a few days -ha ha
C'mon with my $600, Smirk.

I'll bet the Hard Rock might do it.
Great rooms on non-peak days for $40 if we buy 40 for three nights?
We make them an offer they can't refuse.

ha ha
The only thing I'd even see as a possible would be meeting at Taqueria Cononita

That might result in a temporary but severe chemical imbalance for all involved.

A priority for me is not to promise anything until we know something.
If I say it's true it is, but nothing's true yet.

For right now, let's not rule anything in or out. (Rich will kill me if this happens!)
We haven't picked a date yet - that's the most important thing.

We might have a date this week, we'll see.
If Vegas, you don't party under a Full moon, you party under a New moon to
watch the Aurora aircraft with the Roswell package go zoom, zoom, zoom. at night.

ha ha

A non-religious person like myself gets pretty damn excited when my eyes
show me something that I'm sure, logically, doesn't even exist.
That first trip to Area 51 will stick in my head like Fleming, the penicillin guy.
That'll be great to see if it happens.

That'd be cool, ...a whole bunch of Democrats outside Area 51 watching the planes we won't see
in the daylight for years (or until Smirk bungles up a war for us) flying around and doing tricks.

Is Area 51 still there?
It takes 2.5 hours to get there, so you ruin almost a whole Vegas night if it's for naught.
I heard rumors they moved it to eastern Utah - anybody know?

So, for now, let's just keep it as an idea, but who knows?

Our own wing would be pretty cool...

 I'm not doing this to brag.
 I'm trying to make a point.

 I said I didn't know how to do that screen grab thing.
 You see, I was pressing Ctrl, instead of Alt.
 Now that I can make it work, here's my mail box at home.

 That number on the left is 9467 unread messages, that take up 38 meg of room.
 I don't know what the other 6.1 meg means.
 I have another 5300 unread e-mails on my work computer, and more on CAL's private line.

 ..and yes, if I was smart, I could fake that, but I'm not and I didn't.

So after you convince yourself that I ignored your mail,
consider the possibility that I missed it, OK?


Subject: The Tequila Twins

I say this about the Jenna and Barbara Bush incident:
Chuy's Restaurant has some great food.

But on a more practical matter, I can't believe the manager of the Austin branch the Bush twins
were at is getting so much grief!  If someone's breaking the law, you call the police.

I don't know off-hand the phone number to the Harris County Sherrif's Department or the Houston
Police Department.  I'd probably call 911 since that would be the best way to contact the authorities.
The people doing this are ignoring the fact that
A) one was drinking under age,
B) the other has a history of alcohol violations now,
C) the other was pretending to be someone else in order to get alcohol, and
D) if they are going to give Clinton a hard time about he and his family supposedly having to
    "set a moral example for the country" then we should be dishing the same stuff at the Bushes.

Also, I used to think you had to be smart in order to get into the University of Texas.
It appears that I am wrong.



Subject: Tampa Protest Photos

I am sending the photos I took as of 5:00 pm on Monday the 4th.
The number of protestors was good size at the time I left and growing.

I am sending a copy to the Photo Dept of the Tampa Trib.
I talked to one of their Photogs there with his Nikon D1.
I only have a Nikon 8008 and one hour photo..hehehheh
I wonder which will be on the Web first...........

BARTCOP had a sign there.

Bill in Tampa

Click  Here  to see the Tampa Protest

Thanks to Bill in Tampa!

 Note: Huckabee is the religiously insane Governor of Arkansas,
the nut who refused to release tornado relief funds until the legislature
changed the law to where "Acts of God" didn't include tornadoes.

 Questions to ask Ari Fleischer RE: the Fake "Vandal Scandal"
    (With thanks to Herman Reedly from Salon's Table Talk)

Here are some questions I'd love to ask Ari Fleischer RE: his stupid-ass attempt
to keep alive the debunked-to-hell-and-back "Vandal Scandal"
(but since he wouldn't respond to me, I'll instead send them to my local newspapers):

Where are the affadavits?

Where are the photos?

Where is the videotape?

Where are the repair orders?

Where is the original list of damages that was supposedly prepared on day 1?

Who are the staffers making the charges?

Put up or apologize, Ari.
Tamara Baker

I like the first one best - the affadavits.
Let's put these bastards under oath before we ask any questions.

 A Page on Signing

 Click  Here

 Y'know, to read the personal attacks against me on the Casey Martin issue,
  one would think I wrote a lengthy "Fuck the gimp" editorial.
 There are plenty more from "former fans of BartCop," that weren't printed.

 Have you people not ever heard the phrase "differing opinions" before?
 It's odd, seeing "Go fuck yourself" from people who've been writing for years.

 I have a tendency to keep my guns holstered when "debating" a Democrat.
 That could change.


Subject: Casey Martin can kiss my ass

Casey Martin has no room to complain.
If I want to sink balls into holes I prefer the billiard table at the local pub.
It's more exciting and much more inclusive than the bore-fest of "golf" and anyone can play.
Hey, even bars in Harlem have 'em!  Billiard halls fer cryin' out loud!

Tell Casey that he can kiss my ass.
After all, nobody's forcing the PGA, much less the GOP-run golf courses
(well, aside from those wonderful "less government, states rights advocates" of the Supreme Court)
to change the rules. Wheel his ass over to a billlard and I'll educate that snookered elitist.

It isn't like he's FORCED to play golf.
Damn, it's like every Republican seems limited to their own ideology of tradition.
The irony is that Casey WANTS equality upon a golf course?

Uhh, is he like STUPID or something...on second thought, nevermind.

He can still kiss my ass though.


 They All Do It: Same old, same old in Washington
  The more things change in Washington, the more familiar some sleazy things seem.


    Item: A nominee for high office--in this case solicitor general--testifies vaguely about having had nothing to do
with a controversial piece of muckraking journalism, namely the American Spectator's Arkansas Project.
But the nominee has to revise his testimony as facts out.

    No, this isn't Bill Clinton lying for months on end and finally admitting, as he leaves office, that his sworn testimony was false, too. This is Ted Olson giving some all-too-vague testimony when he should have been just telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but. Wasn't this administration supposed to be different? Wasn't one of the reasons George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were elected was to put all these little games with the truth behind us?

    Item: The vice president of the United States holds a reception for big givers at his official residence and government property. No, that isn't a news item from 1996, but from just the other day.
    Al Gore would try to explain away his sleazy fund-raising by citing No Controlling Legal Authority. And now Dick Cheney's official explainers explain that the fund-raiser at his residence was no fund-raiser--because the guests had already given. They were being rewarded rather than solicited, and that's supposed to make all the difference. Maybe it does, but only technically. The spirit of such enterprises is the rotten same.
    And they come with the same familiar whiff.

    To quote the irrepressible Michael Kelly on this page the other day: "Originality is hard to come by, but it would be
nice if Bush-Cheney mouthpieces could come up with an excuse that was not precisely identical to the one used by Clinton-Gore mouthpieces."  This administration's little games--with the truth and with the rules--only reinforce the ultimate, degrading Clinton-Gore defense for the politics of sleaze: They All Do It.

 Damn, I missed this

 Click  Here


    "I don't have to prove anything."

 Click  Here

 Fleisher said they have "proof" of the vandalism:
 The "proof" was from the recollections of Bush staffers.

 Well, that's all the proof the American whore press needs.
 Clinton is guilty - no proof is necessary.

 White House Takes Soft Line on OPEC
  Americans don't mind dying for Saudi and Kuwaiti royalty?

 Click  Here

 The Bush administration, at least publicly, has absolved OPEC of any role in
  pushing up fuel prices and instead blamed a limited refining capacity at home.
 Unlike the Clinton team, which interrupted OPEC meetings and infuriated its
 members with cell phone calls demanding action, the Bush White House has opted
 for a gentler approach to its key oil-rich allies, particularly the Persian Gulf states.

 If I was president, I'd tell Saudi Arabia and Kuwait that we want the same amount
 of oil at the same prices as post-Desert Storm or the next time they need help
 they can call the goddamn tooth fairy to give them back their land.

 You know the Bush family has exclusive drilling rights in Kuwait, right?
 I doin't know the details, but after the war, the Bush family snuck in there
 and got some exclusive on something, and now they're making so much money
 they could afford to buy the White House for Jeb in 2008.
 Who has the details on this Bush Family Bonanza, paid for with American blood?

 We lost over 200 men in Desert Storm.
 And for that we get what?

 The right to beg OPEC for cheaper oil?
 That wouldn't be the case under President BartCop.
 But that's what we have with President Weak, Stupid and Greedy.


Subject: (no subject)

Jeezuzz, Bart.
We hung in there for your NY trip...we hung in there for the Memorial Day slack off.

I know you need staff and financing, but give us a headsup when you are gonna be gone.
If you need to take weekends off,  designate a driver and give us the keys, okay?
We will bring it home waxed and polished and without a scratch.


 A Republican Responds To Jenna Bush's Arrest
 Without Mentioning Bill Clinton's Penis!
  from the always great Betty Bowers

 Click  Here

 Looking for a Volunteer or two

 I have another idea.  (Uh-oh)
 This is an idea about a hueueueuge five-year project.

 Starting December 7, (or sooner, if you want) wouldn't it be educational
 for someone to take us through World War II, a day at a time?

 Between now & then, you could give us some background on what led
 to the bombing of Pearl Harbor and the rise of Hitler.

 Each day, you could do a paragraph, or a link, or nothing if it was a slow day,
 and it would end, I suppose, in mid-August of 2005.

 Sound like a big project?
 Sure, but there's probably a lot of this already on the net. Maybe all you'd need
 to do is change the links each day - might take just five minutes.

 On the other hand, if you're a frustrated history professor who always wanted to teach
 a class on this subject, now's your chance.  Of course, as the histrographer (homage to Smirk)
 you'd be free to comment on things that need clarification or explanation.

 Example: A year from today, June 4, 2002, you'd tell us about the Battle of Midway.

 Three years from today, you could link us to a Omaha Beach in Normandy page.

 Somewhere on the www, there's a collection of letters home from the war.
 Linking to those in chronological order might be helpful.

 I think everyone could use a few more facts about World War II.
 If you're interested, contact us at

 Sony Pictures admits fabricating quotes
  Their ad department invented a reviewer that liked Sony films.

  Click  Here

  Funny as hell excerpt:
 The real question is why Sony had to conceive the counterfeit
 critic to begin with, given the world of movie junkets,
 where normal reporting standards dont apply.

 ha ha

 "normal reporting standards?"

 Can anybody tell me what "normal reporting standards" are?
 If the New York Whore Times will print any ugly rumor Drudge fabricates,
 what "standards" are there in reporting?  Can anybody tell me?


Subject: Big Vegas Party


I am in for the Big Vegas Party! I have been wanting to do
shots of  Chinaco with my buddy Bartcop for quite awhile.
Put me on the list.

Bernie aka Larry

Subject: The Tequila Twins

When the boo birds start chirping about the Jenna Bush situation and their perception of the
raw deal she got ay CHUY'S last week, I ask them to explain to me whose fault it would have
been had the server not raised the question of improper identification and instead served the alcohol.

After she got drunk suppose she then got into a car, drove away, crossed the yellow line
and collided head on into another vehicle causing death and injury to those in both vehicles?
There is no doubt what so ever that the server did the right thing and as such protected his
liquor license, saved his job and perhaps a few lives as well.



Yeah, that Chuys apology was the worst thing I've seen in a while.
Apologizing for saving lives?
Those Texas will apologize for any goddamn thing - even when they're innocent.

I see where the pink-tutu manager is referring all questions to the home office.
Hey, the home office can't know more than the manager.
I guess they grovel better, since they're paid more than the managers.

But even worse was the way the talk shows apologized to the Tequila twins.
"We all did that," and "What's so wrong?" and my favorite,
"Those laws shouldn't be obeyed because the drinking age is too high."

Yeah, let's alllll give the Bush brats a free ride, like their daddy got.
Let them break whatever laws they want - they're royalty, right?


Subject: What a hypocrite you are!

Bartcop, I have lost all respect for you and now realize you are nothing but the flip side of the same coin
as the Repugnican talk show hosts you criticize. I identified myself as a fan of yours, gave reasonable answers
to comments of yours I found offensive, and you conveniently refused to even acknowledge a decent point.
You prefer to carefully pick and choose which messages you post, choosing only the opposing points
that are weakest and easiest for you to take apart and the ones that agree with you.

Are you saying you've written before?
I wish I knew how to do that screen grab thing, because Eudora says I have 5200 unread messages.
You think your previous mail might be in that pile?

When I go thru the mail, I start with the last one in and work backwards.
If I have 80 new messages, and read and answer 20, the other 60 sit there.
That's why the important stuff needs to go to

By the way, why do you think that something you've written deserves to be published?

You even have nerve enough to follow them with "ha ha", as if you actually have proven yourself right.
Give me a fucking break!

You can pick letters apart, and use particular excerpts to carefully craft the illusion of winning an
argument, but we both know the truth. We both know what you are doing.
You are NO BETTER than the scumbag republicans you claim to hate.
You use the SAME tactics as the right wing big mouths.

We both know what I'm doing, eh?
I'm printing your entire letter to show people how sometimes a nut
can go on and on and on about something without ever making a point.

What is it you want from me?
Some blanket authorization that anything you send will get printed?
Or my guarantee that no letter will ever be edited for length or clarity?
I don't cut the meat out of letters because I like to argue.

Having a complete hypocritical liar on the side of the Dems doesn't help our cause, Bartcop.
As a liberal Democrat, I am especially angered by you.
You are only fueling the other side with your blatant hypocrisy.
You are also cowardly and weak.

We both know other people called you on your stupid comment "I don't care. I'm not wrong."
You actually admitted every other democrat disagreed with you, but still acted
like a whining baby refusing to admit you might be wrong. What a complete loser!

You think I should change my position because other people think a certain way?

You definitely make it seem Ralph Nader had a good point.
With Democrats like you, we desperately need a stronger Green Party.

Your former duped fan,

Steve, the bottom line is this:
You and I disagree on the Casey Martin issue, but you think banging your rattle
on your high chair is the best way to get others to pay attention to you.


Subject: Majority-minority

There was an bit today in some of the major papers that the White House
thinks that minority-population increases are going to put Democratic
states like New Jersey permanently out of reach, and bring Republican
states like Colorado, Florida and Missouri into play in 2004.  I think
the margin stated was like 3.5 million to the Democrats in the next election.


But what's really amazing, and the issue you've been ducking now for the month
I've been writing you about it, is how these minority voters are going to get fed
a line that they should be redistricted into majority-minority districts.

No, don't talk about how they would be better served by being represented throughout their state.
Don't talk about how that would bring more moderate, sensible policies into place right now.
Don't talk about how being corralled off only helps to polarize the Congress and statehouses.
Don't talk about how it gave the election to W.
Don't talk about how it only benefits a few power-hungry minority representatives at the expense
of their community.  (Yeah, bartcop, don't get the powers that be in the Democrats mad, then they
might not plug you on TV anymore!)

Don't talk about how it contributes to poor rural areas not recognizing that they share interests
with those in the inner cities.

All you want to do is Bush-bash, not actually accomplish anything.  I dare you to talk about
how a sacrosanct goal of the far left actually damages the progressive cause.

All you want to do is duck this.




Bruce Garrison
Attorney at Law

Bruce, have you met
I think you two might hit it off.

We already talked about this, remember?
You sent an earlier, not-as-snippy letter asking why I didn't write about gerrymandering abuse
and I said I didn't like to write about things that I didn't know much about.

Then I invited YOU to write something on the subject - to educate me.

But like you think it'd be better to run your tin cup
back & forth on the cell bars, then scream and whine that nobody listens to you.

Notice I don't attack your claim to be a lawyer.
I believe that.
You remind me of the Knuckledrag juris-dinks that I outwit for a living.

...and what's with the "quack, quack?"
You sound like Imus in his prime.

All you want to do is Bush-bash

No, I want to have a few laughs and shear a few sheep.
Maybe my hammer will get big enough to make a dent someday, maybe not.
But with teammates like you and pulling for me,
I just know our side is going to win.

PS. I believe you're a lawyer, but I doubt you're from Texas.
      There was no apology in your letter.
      Texans apologize for everything - even when they're not wrong.

From: Yog Shoggoth

Subject: comment on golf

You said recently
>"Isn't there anybody who can talk about this subject without mentioning
>the nonsense assertion that walking isn't part of the game?
>If walking wasn't part of the game, we would agree on this."

This is clearly false.
You are either being intentionally dense, intellectually dishonest, or lying to yourself.
Your last line is like my saying "If you weren't wrong, I would agree with you. Since I don't, you must be wrong."
Before this flap started, if an alien came to earth and asked what golf was, would you have said,
"well, you hit this little ball into a hole with a club, and you have to walk between the swings, otherwise it isn't really golf?"

The guy isn't asking to be carried around while he's swinging, right?

Then again, I hate golf. I think it's an arrogant, stupid game.

And if walking is so much a part of the game, why do they call the places where non-pros
play "golf courses" despite the fact that they're allowed to use golf carts?

Yog, have you met Bruce the Lawyer  and
I think you guys might get along real well.
If this keeps up, the next big political party in America will be the anti-BartCop party.

Casey Martin wants to compete against people he can't compete with.

Argue with that...


Subject: It's about the ADA, BartCop

The Casey Martin thing, for the last time (before I decide you really are one of those guys
who only prints what he can ridicule or what he agrees with) has everything to do with the ADA,
and nothing to do with all the shit you keep hollering about.

Until you do some due diligence on the Americans with Disabilities Act and it's interpretive court record,
you will continue to appear quite the dumbass. Those of us who like you hate to see you do this.

Doug Bounds

Casey Martin wants to compete against people he can't compete with.

Argue with that...

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 It had everything.

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