Put your ad on bartcop.com
"Thank you very much for this.
I'll see you again in a few minutes."
-- Mel Brooks, receiving his third Tony in 10 minutes
by Maureen Dowd - she hates everybody
Subject: Where have you been?
I have been seriously missing regular bartcop
Two new reports a week is not enough!
I will send you Imo's and Ted Drewes if it helps!
You're only getting two reports a week?
I better type faster.
Freeped by "Law & Order" GOP thugs
Buckles under pressure, apologizies for upholding the law.
Subject: We are very, very sorry
June 1, 2001
As the owners of Chuy's Restaurants,
we realize that many of you are upset
with the recent occurrence at our Barton Springs location, and we want you
to know that we are too. We acknowledge that mistakes were made in dealing
with the situation with the Bush daughters.
We are sorry.
We believe it was a mistake to call the
police in this matter.
We will never do that again.
We are very sorry.
We also feel that it was a mistake to
We will never do that again.
We are very, very sorry.
As with all mistakes, there are lessons
to be learned from this situation
and we will use these lessons to improve our operations.
From now on, teen drinkers can get as drunk as they want.
We'll do anything to avoid criticism.
We apologize to anyone who has been upset
or inconvenienced by this incident.
We sincerely hope that you will continue to visit our restaurants.
We value your patronage.
We'll do anything to avoid getting
After all, they send mean e-mails.
~ Mike and John Tutu
"Did you see what Janet reno's doing,
running for Florida governor?
Who in their right mind thinks she has a chance to win?"
-- The vulgar Pigboy, Friday
Gee, Rush, Gore won in Florida.
What makes you think Democrats don't do well there?
Refuses to Apologize for Vandalism Lies
Fleischer threatens Clinton staffers
Whore City - Smirk's attack dog said there will be no apology
to former Clinton aides
for the lies Smirk staffers told the always-willing press about vandalism at the White House.
Asked about a letter signed by former Clinton aides seeking
an apology, Ari Fleischer said:
"No apology is merited. They are well-advised to leave it alone."
The GAO said "there was no proof of anything matching the
allegations" by Smirk staffers
who made outrageous claims of vandalism that the whore press ran without asking any questions.
This was the same group of "new toners" who claimed Air Force
One was "stripped" by
Clinton's people, even tho the entire country watched Clinton and his aides depart the plane
with hands more empty than Smirk's uncurious mind.
...and the whore press went along for the ride,
because they knew Uncle Dick and Karl would be pleased.
The Chicago Cubs have won 12 in a row
Are the Cubs for real this year?
Or will they continue to break Chicago hearts?
We need sportswriters!
Click Here to contribute
"Who calls the cops on a girl with a
The bartender must've been a Democrat."
-- Cokie Roberts (R-Jackskirt) on This Whore
Who does a three-year Jihad on a man for getting a blow job?
The bastards must've been Republicans.
Y'know, in all of history, I doubt anyone has ever died from oral
But, how many hundreds of thousands have died from teen drinking?
Then, bad-rug Sam jumped in:
"Who at this table has never used a fake ID to get a drink?"
No, I have a better question, asshole:
Who at this table has cheated on their spouse, or had sex outside of marriage?
If we're gonna give Jenna a pass because "we've all done it,"
why wasn't Clinton given the same consideration?
Especially since the only reason he was asked about his non-crime, was so the Republicans,
with the eager help of Sam, Cokie, and the George whores, could try to embarrass him.
Subject: Casey Martin
I know you don't like to hear it but the
fact is walking isn't part of the game.
Cut out this macho bullshit about Casey Martin not "taking it like a man" and
"whining" because he couldn't qualify you say.
The point you are overlooking is the fact
he DID qualify for the golf tournament.
His circulatory condition does not enable him to walk the distance, it causes him
to use up far more energy in a shorter period of time than a person with a normal
circulatory system would use up. He could actually die in the heat walking the course.
Because of this condition I guarantee you
by the end of the tournament he uses up
as much energy as the other golfers will from walking the distance.
Therefore he DOES NOT HAVE AN ADVANTAGE USING A CART.
I really think you and others who agree
with you ought to understand Casey
Martins condition before you assume he will have an "advantage".
Laura, look at the words you wrote:
He DID qualify for the golf tournament.
His condition does not enable him to walk the distance
So, he made the cut,
but he can't make the cut?
Why doesn't he get into a sport where he can handle the rigors?
If a cart is no advantage for him, why did he sue to get one?
Whatever his condition is, it causes him pain and, according to
threatens his life when he walks a golf course, so he gets a pass.
He could actually die in the heat walking the course.
Oh, poor him!
Maybe he needs a sport less dangerous than golf.
What happens next week when a guy with a similar but lesser
says he needs the rules changed for him, too.
Two weeks after that, a third guy has a slightly lesser condition
than guy two,
and he wants the rules changed for him, too.
Two weeks after that, ...it goes on forever.
Pretty soon, golf is whatever the Supreme Court says it is.
I've always hated that phrase "slippery slope," but this is it.
You could make your point without being so snippy.
JFK page UPDATE
Bojan has updated the pro-conspiracy F.A.Q. and
added a new article
that explores a possible Bush-Nixon connection in the assasination.
There's a hueueueuge amount of information there.
Click Here to see Bojan's JFK Assassination Theory page
"I'd, ...uh, tell the producers to, ...uh,
...you know, ...keep drillin',"
-- Candidate Weak & Stupid, in a GOP primary debate, describing how he,
as an experienced oil man, would solve a hypothetical energy crisis as president.
Subject: Casey Martin
For what it's worth, I completely agree with you on Casey Martin.
SCROTUS changed the rules of the game.....pure and simple. I don't golf,
but my other half does, and he says that walking IS an integral part of
the game, physically AND mentally.
How about a high-diver who has one bad ankle,
and can only point one toe?
Would that be fair? And, how about a ballet company being forced to take on
a ballerina who just can't make it up onto her toes, for some reason?
It's just STOOPID!!!
Anne, yes, there are hundreds of examples of
"I want to compete - but I can't"
that will be going before this court of idiots and partisan whores.
Y'know, I've played a looooot of pool for money. Once you agree on the
rules up front,
there's no for argument, because after a shot, the ball is either on the table or it's in a pocket.
There's no "interpretation" of anything, no "Was he in bounds?" and no blind umpire calling
a strike that's way the hell out of the strike zone.
Last night's game-ending "strike" call in St Louis.
Until this week, golf was that way.
If the ball fell in the hole, it counted.
Now we have to start using asterisks if Casey ever wins a tournament.
Idiot - You Owe Me...
Bush Nominates Rehnquist Kin for Job
Whore City - The Failure in Thief paid a political debt when he
nominated Janet Rehnquist, daughter of
Chief Whore William H. Rehnquist, (R-Penzance) to be inspector general of Health and Human Services.
The elder Rehnquist was part of the 5-4 majority that ruled in
Bush's favor in the Florida rape,
effectively ending voter choice for the first time in modern day America.
Full Shameful Story
Subject: Rebating the Tax Rebate
I read the following message on a website:
"Wouldn't it be a monumental if we took
the tax refund that we are all supposedly
going to get this summer and donated it to the Democratic National Party or perhaps
to the organizations that the tax plan has robbed from? I am really serious about this.
Dedicated Democrats should be willing to
do this and it would send a significant
message to Republicans that we walk the walk."
Given that the tax rebate came from the
Democrat side on the tax-cut compromise,
this works for me. Of course, it wouldn't if my budget weren't really flush right now.
And instead of sending the Dems $300,
I am going to sign the check itself over to the party.
Later, Eddie Joe
Wait, wait, wait...
With all due respect, I think the Democrats have shown nothing
Jeffords is the closest thing we have to a fighter in the senate,
and he was a Republican two weeks ago.
I know, I know, we have Hillary.
I agree with her (apparently) that she can't come out her first six months in office
and get right into the mix with these 40-year tobacco whore senior senators..
Hillary is unstoppable, trust me, but she has to get her feet first.
Does this group of Democrats deserve this money?
The only reason we have it to give is because they were afraid to fight.
If the senate Democrats had an cajones, this "surplus" would go to pay off
the debt and the economy would he healthier in the long run, not the OIL run.
This is the tequila talking (it's the weekend) but my first reaction is this:
Send the DNC an e-mail saying:
"We won't contribute until you show is you have some fight left in you."
I suggest we tell them, "If you can't
display some backbone between now and Sept 30,
(the end of the government fiscal year) we're going to take your $600 and fly to Las Vegas
in October and party like real Democrats. At least we won't be throwing our money away
on a political party that's too afraid to stand up for some principles."
Look at it this way:
If you contribute to the Democrats, and they vote with Smirk and confirm white-power handjobs
like Ashcroft and Ted Olson, why not save the money and use it for the big Vegas party?
Anybody with me?
Subject: I agree on the Casey Martin thing
I am a Democrat and I agree with you on
the sports issue.
I liked your last examples.
I am overweight, myself, and far past my prime.
I wonder if I can sue if they won't let me be a male model?
I could sue to get my own talk show on Fox News
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.