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Volume 508 - Mercy Mercy Me

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 June 24-25, 2001.  ..... .....  ...Advertise on    .......... .......SPORTS..  ..........  ..Did you hear it? 
 VCR Alert - Turner Classic Movies
is running six WC Fields movies tonight.
  Also, McCain on Dave tonight. maybe he'll be anti-Smirk. 

 Project 60

 Click  Here

 Dead Brain Walking
   by Isaac Peterson

  Click  Here

 Ashcroft said that the reasoning was that the cases involving minorities were more atrocious than whites.
 He also said that the discrepancy in the numbers happens because prosecutors seek the death penalty
 more often in districts where there are more minority defendants than whites.

 There are so many holes in this logic and so many directions to shoot it down, I'm not sure where to begin.


 "FBI Deputy Director Tom Pickard has been named Acting Director until a permanent
   replacement can be chosen.  This came as a complete surprise to everybody except
   of course the Russians, who knew two weeks ago. "

 "Actually Bush had a couple of other candidates in mind, but Cheney had to tell him
   that Moulder and Scully weren't really FBI agents."
     -- Jay Leno


 Subject:  Filtering

 This is is probably old news, but worth mentioning:
 If you are at a site that filters certian words (like bartcop), you may not be able to make a link,
 but you can still get your point across if you put a space between each letter (b a r t c o p . c o m)


 Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Vance

 Here in Illinois, The Land of Lincoln, and the birthplace of Ronald Reagan, we have the unique opportunity
 to transform a monument to one albeit great, but out-dated president, into a monument for two, including
 our beloved "Gipper". with a little work and ingenuity, the Abraham Lincoln Tomb could become a fantastic
 Ronald Reagan Memorial. by mounting the crypt that contains Abe's coffin on a large rotating spindle,
 much like a rotisserie, President Lincoln can spend eternity turning over in his grave, what with
 Ronald Reagan being elected as a Republican, the "Party of Lincoln".


 "According to the latest poll, 53% of Americans approve of the way George Bush is running the country.
   The other 47% said 'You can't fool us, we know Bush isn't really running the country.'
      -- Jay Leno

 Smirking drunk!
   by Jim Higdon

  Click  Here

 Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Mark

 I sent the Ronald Reagan Legacy Project my suggestion for a Reagan
 Memorial in my state, Indiana. Here is the text of my e-mail:

 'The death chamber at the federal penitentiary in Terre Haute, where
 Timothy McVeigh was executed. A plaque with Reagan's famous,
 "Government isn't the solution; government is the problem" would be really nice.

 And a picture of St. Ron blessing his apostle Timothy would round out the picture quite well.'

 Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Christian

"How about a homeless shelter to house all of the mental patients who
  got kicked out of mental facilities when Reagan cut their funding?"


 "We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter
    and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks, too."
     -- compassionate Julia Roberts, to TIME Magazine

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "Bush won more square miles than Gore did last November."
     -- Baconboy, second hour today.

 That's right Rush.
 Bush won Texas Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Carolina and Massabama.
 Gore won New York, Southern California, Intelligencia, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Michigan and Florida.

 Yeah, your guy won the rocks and coyote states.
 Al Gore won in the centers of education.

 What a dumb-ass thing to say, "Bush won more square miles..."
 You're a moron, Pigboy.  You know that?

Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Chris

 For many years now, I've been assembling a collection of horse and cow
 droppings that bear amazing resemblance to the late great Ronald Reagan.

 I think a tasteful roadside museum or facility would be a great way to display
 this extensive collection as an appropriate postumous tribute to such a great man.

 P.S.  (he is dead, isn't he?)


"During the Gulf War, women in the armed services failed to report to combat duty
  at rates many multiples that of men. When you don't show up for your combat
  assignment you are effectively sabotaging existing battle plans. On one ship,
  the Aurora, 10 percent of the women en route to the war zone got pregnant."
    -- David Horowitz, (R-GothisasskickedbyJoeConason)

 Mr. Horowitz, you have fallen into a trap just like Laura and the vulgar Pigboy did.

 Mr. Horowitz, could I ask a question?
 If our trained military personnel can't stop themselves from having sex,
 why does your party insist "Just say no" is the best defense against teen pregnancy?

 They are more mature than teenagers.
 They have more training and more control than teenagers.
 They are more responsible than teenagers.

 But you say they can't control their sexual urges,
 but teenagers should be denied condoms because "abstinence always works?"

 You, Sir, are either a liar, an idiot or a whore.
 I'm sorry, I shouldn't underestimate you that way.
 You could be all three.


  Full Story

 Missing intern Chandra Levy was distraught over suddenly losing a job she loved
 - and cops are also looking for a missing uncashed check, it emerged yesterday.

 As the mystery into Levy's disappearance deepens, authorities are trying to paint a portrait
 of the secretive intern's emotional state and the nature of her relationship with "close friend"
 Rep. Gary Condit (D-Impeach).  Detectives have become increasingly suspicious of Condit's behavior,
 and Levy's parents have said Chandra may have been having an affair with the conservative congressman.

 This guy looks more guilty every day.
 Since he voted to impeach, he deserves no privacy.
 I'd like to see the networks all over this guy.

 ...and where the hell if Fox Whore News?

 The guy's a Democrat, (at least officially) so why isn't Fox pounding him?

 I hope the Democrats don't lay down in 2004 the way they did in 2000 and 2001.

 I spent most of the weekend watching the All in the Family marathon.

 I had two thoughts. (That's a lot for me)
 One was how much Archie is like Tony Soprano.

 I'll bet Carroll O'Connor was a hero to James Gandolfini.
 They're so much alike, except for Tony's multiple homicides.
 They're both uneducated bigots who malaprop themselves crazy.

 Remember that time Tony was at Dr. Melfi's and said he'd just been to see his friend
 in the hospital, and that his friend had a cathode tube inserted into his penis?
 Damn, I'll bet that hurts.

 If you think about those two, they're so similar.

 The other thought I had was more of a question.
 Watching Archie bullying Edith, I noticed he uses the Bible for his excuse.
 "The Bible says the woman must submit to her husband - case closed."

 But what if you're an atheist and you want to bully your wife?
 Without the excuse the Bible conveniently provides, how does the bully rationalize his brutality?

Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Kurtz

 A bronze statue of Ronald Reagan shaking hands with the
 Ayatollah Khomeini next to Stinger missiles and American hostages

 "Fast and Furious" Speeds to Victory

 The Fast and the Furious crashed and dashed to a whopping heap of cash.

 The gangland street-race saga screamed in with an estimated $41.6 million, making road kill
 of Dr. Dolittle 2's talking critters, which earned $26.7 million in second place.

 The Fast and the Furious, Universal's PG-13 rated actioner starring Vin Diesel as leader of a group of
 hotrod daredevils, averaged $15,830 at 2,628 screens, according to preliminary studio estimates Sunday.
 Budgeted at a relatively modest $39 million, the high-energy crime flick, which received mixed reviews,
 scored bigger than even its studio executives anticipated, attracting a multiethnic audience that was 55
 percent male and 76 percent under 25.

 Hmmmm, ...a male audience, under 25, likes this movie?
 Sure, fast cars will grab a boy's attention, but so will Jordana Brewster.


 Speaking of sex...

 The new pictures of Halle Berry from Swordfish have hit the newsgroups.
 Apparently, in that film, she's working on her tan (??) while reading a book.
 It looks like somebody asked her a question, so she put her book down long
 enough to answer the question, revealing herself to the camera for the first time.

 I, of course, will not run these spectacular pictures, because we support
 Ms. Berry's dignity and we always take the high road here at

 Perhaps some burning political question will surface that can only be fully illustrated
 by running these pictures, but until then, I can not and will not let
 become just another tawdry internet site to oogle the young babes.

Anna Nicole challenge will be allowed

A federal judge denied former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith's (picture not available)
request to dismiss a challenge to a court ruling that gave her $475 million from her late husband's estate.
U.S. District Court Judge David Carter, who is handling the appeal brought by her late husband's son,
said Tuesday he won't dismiss the case. Smith's attorneys had argued the size of the judgment was justified
because her late husband's son ignored court orders.

However, Carter said such a sanction was extreme and only should be undertaken as a last resort.
Smith, 33, lost a Texas court battle in March over the fortune left behind by her husband, oil tycoon
J. Howard Marshall II. The Texas jury found that Marshall made no agreement to leave part of his
estate to son J. Howard Marshall III or Smith. The jury ruled in favor of E. Pierce Marshall, another son
of the tycoon. But a California bankruptcy court awarded Smith the money before the Texas case was resolved.

Hey, the girl deserves some money.
She had sex with the old goat and made his last years happy ones.
If there's $475 million in question, give her $47 and shut this circus down.
Besides, we all know what crooked cesspools Texas courts are, anyway.

From: Tamara Baker

Subject: Gary Condit

Good to see you and Josh Marshall ( are on the Condit case.

See, the difference between Democrats and Republicans is that Democrats punish their malefactors
and Republicans PROTECT theirs.  (See George W. Bush's life story for further clarification.)

Another thing: Yes, Condit did vote to make impeachment possible, though at the last minute he
remembered he was supposed to be upholding justice and voted against impeachment... kind of a
"have your cake and eat it, too" thing meant to appeal to the knuckledraggers in his district.

For the scoop on Condit and impeachment, go here:

Meanwhile, check out what Josh Marshall has to say about why the Washington Press Weenies
-- who savaged Clinton for letting Monica seduce him -- let Condit get away for so long with his
non-denial denials about his potential involvement in something that's far, far more serious:
the all-too-likely murder of Chandra Levy.

The difference (besides the inconvenient fact that what Bill and Monica did wasn't a crime,
while the murder of Ms. Levy definitely would be):

The Washington Press Whores LIKED Condit.
Still do, as a matter of fact. (Otherwise, this story would be on MSNBC 24/7, and deservedly so.)

They like him so much that they were willing to spend the first six weeks after his intern's going missing
by sticking their fingers in their ears and shouting "LaLaLaLa I can't hear you!", even as Condit's
statements got screwier and screwier.

They like him so much that even now, his story barely rates the occasional mention on network TV.
Why do they like him?

Because he was one of the weak Pink Tutus on the Dem side who was perfectly willing
to bow to right-wing media pressure and backstab Bill Clinton.

And isn't it ironic that his media buddies, so quick to attack Clinton for carrying on with Ms. Lewinsky,
were so slow even to publicly acknowledge what they, and apparently half the Beltway, already knew:
that Ms. Levy was Condit's girlfriend?

On one level, it really was about the sex -- but on another, deeper level, it wasn't about the sex.
It was about payback for Watergate.

Among other things.

Tamara Baker

It seems to me that anyone who voted for more sex details in Clinton's impeachment
loses their right to say, "But this is private" when they get caught.

 America - what a country

 The reason they fly the new planes from the future near Area 51 is because it's so far away from people.
 But, since this is America, where money is everything, Lockheed Martin and Northrup and the others
 have to file for patents on these secret planes - or someone else can steal the design.

 And when you file for the patent, you have to give them a picture, like this.

 That looks a little like that F-117 those Lifetime Channel dudes saw.

 Check out this bad boy:

 ...and the forward swept wing aircraft.

 Click  Here for more details.

 So, while they go to extreme lengths to hide their secret toys,
 they also provide drawings for public inspection at the patent office.
 What a country!

 All this talk of Area 51 is giving me Vegas fever.

 Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Anne

 How about a Ronnie memorial right in the heart of downtown San Diego? Say, Horton Plaza, for instance.
 That's where the largest contingent of homeless people congregate in San Diego.

 Thanks to the Reagan/Bush administration's failed "trickle-down" economic policy, uber-high deficit spending and
 "dumping" mental patients in the dead of night in major cities, I think a tribute to RR and the homeless would be in order.

 Hmmmm, maybe a bronze statue of Ronnie with scores of homeless underfoot.

 Ooooh, I can see it now...


"A responsible leader is someone who makes decisions based upon principle,
  not based upon polls or focus groups. A responsible leader is someone who says,
 'Here are my principles, here's what I stand on,' principles that will not change."
    -- Smirk, lying his ass off a few days before the election

"The president wants polling done to test ideas before he has decided on them."
     --Karl Rove, explaining how Bush is different from Clinton.

 Of course, Rush will say, "I didn't hear that quote" if asked to explain.

 Navy weighs Texas for bombing range
 Jenna not the only one getting bombed in Texas

 Full  Story

 The Navy is considering moving bombing exercises that have triggered
 years of angry protests on the Puerto Rican island of Vieques to Texas.

 "It would be among the possible alternatives," Lt. Cmdr. Cate Mueller, a
  Navy spokeswoman, said Friday


 Swear  ...Koresh

 Did you see Oklahoma's premier embarsassment, (that says a lot) on Saturday's Capitol Gang?

Jim (Pissquik) Inhofe,
the dishonorable scumbag

 They showed a video of  this crazy son of a bitch (and I choose my words carefully) talking about Vieques saying,
 "I talked to the people of Vieques and they want us to continue to bomb their island."

 Yeah, right, Pissquik.
 I guess their cancer rates are going down and they want to get them back up where they belong?

 It's a tiny island, we have no business bombing it.
 (Before you ask, Clinton had no business bombing it, either.)


 Subject: you suck

 you suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Rodney Pittman

 From a Las Vegas Newsetter

 The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino pool has swim-up Blackjack.

 I guess you play with ...swim-up money?


 Subject: Boston Impressionist Society

 Did you actually "win" some type of award, or are you pulling America's leg?
 Since there was no link mentioned I assume you  are responding to criticism of your
 Area 51 stuff with a joke.  I don't know for sure, probably because I'm not too bright.

 Hell, I'm so stupid I voted for Al Gore.

 Keep Hammerin' Away...
 Frank in Minnesota...

 The joke was that if I paid THEM the $2500, I'd get the award.

 How'd that come about?
 My boss got a call from the National GOP the other day.
 They said he'd been selected to be a "Man of the Year,"
 or join the "Who's Who" or something like that - if he would just pony up $10,000.

 He didn't win shit.
 It was just a fund-raising scam by the GOP.

 Project 60

 Click  Here


 "This patient's bill of rights bill is aimed like a gun at the head of employers.
   Look out! The trial lawyers are after you!"
   -- Don Nickles (R-Cro-Mag) Oklahoma's second biggest embarrassment.



Hey man
        I was on the CNN IRC server the other day and I noticed that I couldn't say "" in the channel.
Thinking it was just a general ban on url's, I just typed bartcop, only to discover that THAT is the word that has been filtered!  You could say "freerepublic," however.  I also discovered you couldn't say "michaelmoore" (the key word in Mike Moore's
website) though you could say "Michael Moore."

I asked one of the ops, he said he would find out who handles that
and how I could contact them...seems like censorship to me!


Joe, we could make a list of places that have banned
It would be a long list.

Cheney Caught Like a Rat
 "He clearly lied," said one insider.

"I had a firm policy that we wouldn't do anything in Iraq," he said.
"We've not done any business in Iraq since U.N. sanctions were imposed
  on Iraq in 1990, and I had a standing policy that I wouldn't do that."

 But now - the records have seen daylight.

 Click  Here

 Gee, who would've thought a Republican oil man would tell a lie?

Subject: Putin get's a Lewinsky from Smirk

Hey BC,

Isn't it curious that the whore press was all over Clinton for MFN to China and Gore for visiting a Buddhist Temple.
Yet, when Bush comes back from Europe and tells the nation what a great guy Putin is, they give him a pass.

Where are the requests for W's stained tie or the soiled Kleenex (or KGB equivalent)?
Of course this is no surprise, maybe they are waiting for W to send his daughters over.


BC, PLEASE don't publish my email address.
I don't think Iowa State Univ would like it very much, bunch of Nazis.

 Those Were the Days
   by Isaac Peterson

  Click  Here

 George II's Bad Week a Sign of Things to Come

  Click  Here

 The number of respondents who say outright they don't trust Bush climbed from 33 to 40 percent in six months.
 The bad news for Bush continues. By a 2-1 margin, the poll found, Americans support protecting the environment over
 producing more energy. Almost three-quarters think Bush should take immediate action to stop global warming, and more
 than half say he should sign the Kyoto protocols. Seven in 10 back a patients bill of rights, even if healthcare costs rise.
 A whopping 57 percent believe his policies favor the rich, compared with 27 percent who think he treats all groups equally.
 "On a host of issues," the New York Times observed, "the respondents' views are closer to those espoused by Democrats
 than those of Mr. Bush and other Republicans."

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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