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 June 26, 2001.  ..... .....  ...Advertise on    .......... .......SPORTS..  ..........  ..Did you hear it? 

 Condit's district wants to believe he's innocent
  But if he's innocent, what is he hiding?

  Click  Here


 "We strongly object to ACLU bringing and sponsoring Clarence Thomas to Hawaii.
   Bringing Clarence Thomas sends a message that the Hawaii ACLU promotes and
   honors black Uncle Toms who turn their back on civil rights."
    -- Hawaii ACLU board member Barbee-Wooten

  This is an outrage.
  Clarence "Slappy" Thomas is every bit as dignified as our president.

 But wait, it gets better:

 Eric Ferrer, one of the first ACLU chapter members to express reservations about inviting
 Justice Thomas, called Thomas "an anti-Christ, a Hitler," and he compared having Thomas
 discuss the merits of affirmative action to "having a serial murderer debate the value of life."

 Full Funny Story

  ha ha

 Are you with  Slappy?


Subject: Dave!

Top 10 ways for a dumb guy to conserve energy:

#1.  Become president and ignore the problem completely.

 Oh, if it wasn't so damn true, I'd still be laughing.

In truth, everyone got $300 but Thurston Howell.
He got $60,000,000.

 Condit Urged Full Disclosure on Lewinsky

  WASHINGTON - Rep. Gary Condit, (D-Guilty) who is ducking press questions about
  his friendship with missing intern Chandra Levy, called in 1998 for the public airing
  of every detail of then-President Bill Clinton's affair with an intern.

 "Only when we strip away the cloak of secrecy and lay the facts on the table can we
  begin to resolve this matter honestly and openly,"  the bastard wrote in a 1998 letter
  to head cock-hunter Newt Gingrich, urging full disclosure of Kenneth Starr's report.
 "We owe the American people an honest evaluation of the facts."

 He was then invited to appear on CNN and spoke at news conferences urging
 full disclosure to counter what he called "the drip-drip-drip theory."

 John Stossel caught lying again
 Kids, parents tricked my manipulative right-wing liar

 Click  Here

"The questions were all entirely misleading to evoke the responses he wanted," Neal says.
"He'd repeat questions until he got the answer he wanted. . . . We knew we were hoodwinked."

 At least one parent was told of Stossel's role the day before, but insiders acknowledge that they don't
 always tout Stossel's involvement because he has become such a lightning rod on environmental issues.

 Translation: Stossel has been caught lying so many times, we can't associate
                      his name with the project or nobody will speak to us.

 The vulgar Pigboy will only praise somebody who lies as much as he does.


 How much money would the golfing industry lose if Mr Perfect was no longer ranked Number One?

 He came in 16th at the Buick open.
 He didn't do much better at the U.S. Open, yet he's still ranked Number One.

 I smell a rat.

 Are they going to prop him up?
 Do golfers "earn" their ranking the same way Don King's boxers do?

 Remember every time Tyson was ready to knock out the Bum of the Week,
 the bum would miraclulously jump to the Top Ten, but nobody had ever seen him fight.

 This is like Britney Spears being up for a Grammy.
 Anything to increase the money flow - and forget integrity.

 Tiger is "too important to the game."

 House OKs Rhino, Tiger Conservation

  WASHINGTON (AP) - A measure renewing programs to protect rhinos and tigers passed the House Monday.

  The bill, passed by a voice vote, would reauthorize the Rhinoceros and Tiger Conservation Act and allow the
  Interior Department to spend up to $10 million annually on international efforts to protect the animals.

 Now, if we could only get Norman Schwartzkopf and Bush Senior
 to stop flying to Africa to shoot caged, endangered animals.

 Please don't let Bush & Norm kill us.

 Three quotes from the "Isn't religion wonderful?" department

 "I wish I had done the bombing. My son has fulfilled the Prophet Mohammed's wishes.
   He has become a hero. Tell me, what more could a father ask?"
    -- Hassan Hotari, on the news his son killed 21 Israelis with a suicide attack.

  "I will make my body a bomb that will blast the flesh of the Zionists, the sons of pigs and monkeys.
    I will tear their bodies into little pieces and cause them more pain than they will ever know."
     -- an eleven year old Hamas student

  "You don't start educating a shaheed at age 22. You start at kindergarden so by the time he's 22,
    he's looking for an opportunity to sacrifice his life."
     -- Terrorism expert.

  Y'know, if these kids were raised on logic and reason, they would be told when they die,
   their brain will shut off and they will never again have another thought.
  Telling these crackpots that there's a great reward waiting for them is just insanity at its clearest.

  Hey, I have a quote of my own:
 "You must not act they way you were brought up."
   -- Joe Strummer, The Call Up,

 Kerrey Threatened with Lawsuit Over Vietnam Deaths

  Full stupid story

  LINCOLN, Neb. (Reuters) - A Nebraska attorney and former state legislator, who
  said he represents a group of Vietnamese, on Thursday threatened to sue Bob Kerrey
  over his revelation that he led a 1969 military raid that killed 21 Vietnamese women and children.

 Project 60
 What happened sixty years ago today?

 Click  Here

President Moron is showing his idea of "Honor and dignity"
for the flag of the United States of America.


 "Sue, sue, sue. That's not the answer."
   -- Trent on Lott (R-White sheets) explaining how the GOP wants to help families.

 Gee, Trent, when Paula Jones was knob gobblin',
 you guys kept screaming about "her right to a day in court."

 But if some greedy-ass HMO takes your money and refuses to cover your medical expenses,
 suddenly you change your tune and say,  "Lawsuits are not the answer?"

 You mean lawsuits are the answer only when it involves Clinton's zipper?

 You're a whore, Trent.
 Now get outta here.

 Report: Bush Neutral on China Olympics

 WASHINGTON (AP) - The Bush administration has decided to remain neutral on China's
 bid to host the 2008 Olympics, The Washington Post reported.

 Citing unnamed officials, the paper said in Monday's editions that the administration hopes a
 neutral position will help defuse an issue China has called an emotional one for its people.

 It quoted a senior State Department official as saying awarding the games to China might be
 ``a powerful but intangible incentive'' for China to improve its human rights performance and
 to exercise restraint toward Taiwan.

 For all we know, President Weak & Stupid conceded the Olympics to China
 to get our spy plane back. We have no idea what secret deals the First Moron
 made with China, because the Democrats are too afraid to ask.

 ...son of a bitch.


Subject: Listening to the porkmeister

With nothing better to do yesterday, I tuned into Der Schweinmeister's show.
None of his BS was particularly noteworthy (except for the part where he said he
never attacked John McCain's character), but I was amused at the first commercial break.

One of the last, short ads was a from a local theater announcing their run of "The Best Little
Whorehouse in Texas." I was struck by the supreme irony of the Rush Limbaugh show being
supported by a play featuring an obnoxious, hypocritical media moralizer who makes whores
look virtuous by comparison. Perhaps the theater is hoping to lure in the assorted liberals and
Limbaugh haters who tune in to the show...


PS: Everybody ought to go to and leave a comment that they would use
      Spill Magic if it weren't advertised on Rush Limbaugh's hate radio program.

 Do they read  in Dakota?

 BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) - North Dakotans can't move their state to warmer climes,
 but some hope a proposed name change will at least help the state seem a little less northern.

 The Greater North Dakota Association, the state's chamber of commerce, is backing
 a proposal to cut the state's name to ``Dakota.''
 Supporters insist the plan would help alter the state's image as a frigid, treeless prairie.

 That's my gift to you, Dakota.
 No need to thank me.


Subject: David Horowitz and women on the Aurora whatever it is

You wrote:

>"During the Gulf War, women in the armed services failed to report to combat
> duty at rates many multiples that of men. When you don't show up for your combat
> assignment you are effectively sabotaging existing battle plans. On one ship,
>  the Aurora, 10 percent of the women en route to the war zone got pregnant."
>    -- David Horowitz, (R-GothisasskickedbyJoeConason)

Ok this quote set off my BS alarm system so I thought I would research it for
fun. My first impression of his quote was that perhaps there were 10 women
who served on the USS Aurora and perhaps one got pregnant en route to the war
zone then yes 10 percent of the female crew "sabotaged the battle plan." So i
decided to look up the crew compliment of this ship to see.

I did a google search for USS Aurora. I was flooded with Star Trek related
sites and topics. Ok so I upped the search with USS Aurora Persian Gulf. I
assumed that would make it specific enough.

Nope nothing.

Not even a reference to any USS Aurora navy vessel. The closest to an
"Aurora" mentioned with the US navy is an "Aurora class" submarine. But women
are not allowed to serve on Submarines, so it cannot be on a sub.

There is an Aurora that is some secret plane. Nope he says its a ship.

Lieutenant Comander Scott Carpenter piloted Aurora 7 space capsule, but nope
that can't be it, way before the Persian Gulf war.

I found an Aurora Russian navy cruiser. Is this the ship he is referring to?
I did a search on the Navy's official web site for an Aurora and found no
references to this ship. All it returned were health insurance news.

Is the Navy secretly ashamed of this ship and does not wish to acknowledge its existence?

So where is this mysterious navy ship Mr. Horowitz refers to in his quote?
Is this some old Star Trek episode that he watched while half asleep?



Click  Here  for his entire column

 You know this is meant for the vulgar Pigboy...

McCain on Dave

 Damn, Dave's giving McCain the red carpet hero treatment.
 Before introducing him, Dave ran thru a list of medals McCain earned.
 That was impressive.

 Dave: How was that dinner with President Bush?

 McCain: Very nice, it was the president and me and our wives and the two food tasters...

 ha ha

 McCain knows the real Bush family, doesn't he?

 The questions have been softball city.
 Maybe, like with Gore and Smirk, Dave'll toughen up this next segment.
 Remember when Dave was thr ONLY media person to ask Smirk a follow up question?
 The entire press laid down for the moron and I still don't understand.
 Why should Letterman and Jon Stewart have to ask the tough questions?

 Where the hell is the press?

 ...and why should small websites have to do all the fighting against the Failure in Thief?

 Where the hell are the Democrats?

 Cheney to GAO: Drop Dead
 Corrupt VP Refuses To List His Energy Partners in Crime
 "I'm too important to bother with legalities," quotes one source.

 Click  Here

 Reagan Memorial Suggestions

 From: Rev. Don

 After Anne's suggestion, I can only picture a titanic statue of the Great Communicator with his
 fingers in his ears, eyes closed tight, and his modest willy hanging out of his trousers to serve as
 a fountain, raining down perpetually on little statues of children, the poor, and wildlife
  --the simplest, most graphic demonstration of "trickle down" policies.


 Subject: Run for the Senate you coward is looking for a Democrat to run against Senator Don Nickels of Okla.
 (Since he to much of a coward to run himself.  Believe me , I know him better than anybody)

 As Tim Russert pointed out, 1/3 of Nickles's constituents will get nothing
 from the Bush Tax Cut he championed thru the Senate.

 These poeple deserve to be represented, so this fall, when all the $300 rebate checks are out,
 we could hold a rally, in Tulsa, for all those who did not get a check. We will give them a $300
 Rain Check good for a Rebate when Democrats retake the Congress in 2002.

 If Democrats across the country will adopt this strategy, they will win easily.
 Just like the Bartcop Tax Plan, this is the winning strategy for 2002.

 They didn't adopt the Bartcop Tax Plan in total and got crushed.
 They had better wake up and listen.

 Except for the creepy stalker tone, that's a pretty good e-mail.

 ...Senator BartCop?

 I'll do it if it means I can be on Meet the Press with that prick Russert.
 I can see the headline now...

 "Junior Oklahoma senator bitch-slaps Russert on live television"

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

 Reproductive Shame

 Click  Here

Reagan Memorial Suggestions

From: Rellis

I suggest going to the center of the state and digging a huge pit.
Once it's good and deep, we can start tossing all our money into it.
Then we can blame the fact that we have no money all on the liberals.

ha ha

 We're having a one-third off sale on mouse pads at the store.

 ha ha

 ...because everyone needs a BartCop mouse pad.

               Who is this?
  It's someone you know very well.


Subject: Dennis Miller

I haven't watched Dennis Miller in a couple years -- ever since he landed
the gig as buffoon on Monday Night Football and I became weary of tuning
in his HBO show, only to find it to be a rerun, or a rerun of a rerun.

However, I still liked the guy.  But after watching his show last night
for the first time in a long while, I was shocked to find the former bad
boy looking like Richard Nixon in an Armani suit and sounding like Bill
O'Reilly at a Freeper convention.  AND -- completely self-obsessed!
Now I understand why Bartcop has been ragging on him lately, and I agree 100%.
Keep up the good work.


 Vatican Men in Black

 I just watched the movie Stigmata, with Gabriel Byrne and Patricia Arquette.
 It's currently running on Showtime, so skip this if you don't want the secrets spilled.

 First, I want to assure you I had nothing to do with writing this film.
 I say that because they addressed my oft-stated belief that Churches exist to make money.

 (If you don't know what stigmata means, it's when your body takes on the physical bad news
  of being nailed to the cross. Your hands and feet squirt blood like a Bridgewater Bandit and
  your scalp gets all scratched up from your crown of thorns. Oh, that lance in the side is a bitch, too.
  Poor Patty Arquette has a half-dozen of these wacky God attacks.)

 They said the church won't help you if you're not a true believer.
 So I told Mrs. BartCop that if that ever happens to me, find a Catholic church and
 tell those priests I'm as sincere as a Knuckledrag eskimoe (homage DQ) can be.

 The movie reminded me a lot of The Exorcist, with many of the same problems - the rules.
 It also had that Godfather III flavor, where the priests are murdering scum.

 They discover an original Aramaic scroll that may have been in Christ's own handwriting.
 Christ, himself, said, "You don't need a church between you and God."

 Well,  ...that message puts the Catholic money-making machine in jeopardy, and we can't have that.
 Remember - if it wasn't for the collection plate, you could worship in your own home.
 So the murdering priests have to kill everyone who has read Christ's original writings.

 In the closing credits, it said a scroll from Christ's time was found in 1945,
 but the Church dismissed it as "heresy."

 Spooky stuff, especially if you have that Catholic start-up disk in your brain.

 One thing they did exactly right:
 When it really counted, the priest displayed some faith, unlike The Exorcist, when the priests cowered
 in fear like they were Senate democrats whenever things got a little dicey. This time, the priest walked
 into the fire, confident that his faith would protect him - that's my definition of faith.

 It was a damn good movie, but the critics hated it so much, we never bothered to watch it.
 Screw the critics.
 If you see Stigmata on your schedule, check it out.

 Natalie When  'All Sound Stopped'
   by Sherryl Connelly             NY Daily News Feature Writer

  Click  Here

 Twenty years after Natalie Wood drowned, the circumstances of her
 death are still a mystery. It seems likely, though, that the former child star,
 a woman adored throughout her life as the epitome of Hollywood glamour,
 died somewhat drunk and certainly disoriented.

 The Hex Continues

 Tiger Woo__,  caught openly weeping after another shank.
 Woo__  had to chase several balls into the crowd at the Buick Open.

 For the second straight week, Woods was not a factor, tying for 16th at
 4-under 280 after an even-par 71. He has failed to crack the top 10 in
 consecutive events for the first time since April 1999.

"Every hole in general hurt me this week,"Woods said.
"I will be honest, I didn't really hit the ball all that good.

"You can't play good every week. I tried on every shot.
  It just wasn't there. It's like there's a hex on me, or something."

 The whore press again

 We're getting all the big stories

 The Houston lady who killed her kids,
 Sharon Stone's husband bitten by a lizard,
 The big California lottery winner,

 ...all the things we need to know.


 ...those kids are dead and it's a tragedy so move on.
 ...who gives a damn about Sharon Stone's billionaire husband's toe?
 ...the lottery winner won't give us any money, so who cares?


Gary Condit says, "I'd rather not say," when, for all we know,
he could have this woman tied up in a cabin in the Sierra Madres.

Get him under oath.
Ask him if he's ever had sex with ...that woman, ...Ms. Levy.

Hell, I think the poor woman is dead, but what if Condit is sitting on her?
Wouldn't we all find her sooner, rather than later?

The whore press.

...and where is the Robert Blake coverage?
I don't want a damn circus, I just want news of an arrest and a "police are confident,"

Sidebar within a sentence:
This is the Los Angeles police department.
- The department that flubbed the conviction of the Menendez brothers, with their confessions in-hand,
- The department that went & collected blood from O.J. then couldn't account for it afterwards.
- The department that said Sirhan was the only shooter when there were additional, unexplained,
   different caliber slugs in the pantry walls when it was all over,
- The department that beat Rodney King stupid, (no easy feat)
- The department that can't figure out who could've possibly have had Tupac and Biggie Smalls shot.
   Gee, the suspect list is sooooooooo long...
- And now they can't find a motive between a married congressman who refuses to answer questions
   and his presumed-dead girlfriend, who called him 50 times in the last 30 days before her  ...murder.
- Thank Koresh Bugliosi got Manson behind bars before the LAPD turned into incompetent whores.

 I think it's time Condit held a press conference and let the facts come out.

 The LA police department is such a joke, and we haven't even touched Rampart Division,
 where robbery, drugs, murder and framing the innocent were the norm for years. we can get past that salacious horsehit, that's standard for this whore press.

Christ - with Blake and Levy, we have homicides.

Is it too much to ask for some coverage of the homicides?
Can we get passed the "What dressing does Jerry Seinfeld like on his salad?"
to  "When did you last meet with the homicide victim?"

We don't care too much.
It's not important.

Clinton's zipper, and crap like it?

 Egan's Too Secretive On Priestly Predators
    by Dick Ryan

  Click  Here

 Sexual abuse by priests has emerged as a scandal in the Catholic Church during
 the last decade. Many Catholics are equally troubled by the perception that Catholic
 leaders prefer to muffle the problem in a blur of denial, church-speak and silence.


Lott in denial about Daschle
Denial And Demands    By Mary McGrory

 Click  Here

Bush does not set a particularly good example in the realm of facing reality.
[After the "I love Putin gaffe] the right wing closed ranks: House Majority Leader Dick Armey,
a hard-liner, said gamely that he believed in being "warm and welcoming" to all Russians.
Finally, the shocked silence on the far right was shattered by a howl from Sen. Jesse Helms.
He reproached Bush for "an excessively personal endorsement."

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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