Put your ad here
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"The reason polls often show the majority
going for liberal ideas
is because conservatives are less likely to answer their phones."
-- The Doctor of Disgust, Rush Limbaugh, second hour of today's show
bartcop.com readers get mention in Salon.com
If you go there while it's still up, you'll see it.
Click Here while it's still up - if not, go to salon.com, then "politics" then "Red & Blue"
It concerns David Horowitz not fact-checking on that Aurora/Acadia pregnant sailors story
Here's the good part:
But when an apparent factual error appeared
in Horowitz's latest column, our mailboxes overflowed,
thanks in part to a posting on Bartcop.com taking Horowitz to task. Here's a little sample:
H.L Williams writes, "Horowitz states, 'On
one ship, the Aurora, 10 percent of the women en route to the
war zone got pregnant.' Strange thing about this floating pleasure palace, the Aurora ... it doesn't seem to exist!
A browse through the list of current U.S. Navy Ships doesn't show an Aurora, nor does the Navy's list of
"The only use I was able to find of the Aurora
name in the U.S. Navy was an Argo Class Patrol Boat from
WWII, WPC-103, commissioned the 21st of December, 1931! Can Horowitz account for the phantom ship?"
Other amateur naval historians, and a few
sci-fi buffs, also chimed in. A reader named Zach writes, "So, 10 percent
the female soldiers on the USS Aurora got pregnant on the way to the Persian Gulf? Funny the only USS Aurora I have
been able to find any reference to is the USS Aurora from 'Star Trek.' Did Mr. Horowitz just make up that little factoid?
If he did, then can I be a columnist, also? I can make up much better fiction without stealing it from a TV show."
Thank you for your interest, Zach. Form letter to follow.
But it turns out our readers were
right. The ship was named the Acadia, and 36 women were sent home due to
pregnancy at some time during its seven-month stint in the Gulf, not en route to the conflict. The 10 percent stat
has been widely thrown around by people opposed to women serving in the military, but the Navy has always
disputed the figures and says the actual number was 5 percent.
The level of Horowitz-based hatred is proof
of the fact that if Horowitz didn't exist, liberals would have to invent
In any event, mistakes were made, and that calls for a correction.
Click on Bat Boy
From: Susan B
Subject: Advertisement in The Nation
At least, I think that must be the "major left-wing publication" you refer to in your June 27th issue.
Anyhow, you put a notice in that issue wondering
if anyone had seen your ad, and I wanted to let you know
that *I* did, and that I'd never even HEARD of bartcop.com before I saw it, clicked on it right away,
howled out loud and immediately forwarded the web address to a passle of my most left-leaning pals.
So I hope someone sees this and knows that your
ad's had some effect, even though it means
your email is going to be even more unwieldy and likely to go unread that it already is.
Susan, e-mail like that makes the price of the ads seem worth it.
Thanks for writing.
"A few years from now, somebody's going
to be on a stage like this...
"It might as well be you. There's going to be, in your lifetime, several African-American presidents,
several Latino presidents, several women presidents. It might as well be you."
-- Bill Clinton, giving a generation hope while Smirk's busy raping and gouging California for BIG OIL
Subject: Please expand on how Paula Jones got picked to play Paula
I wish you would explore more fully the Paula
We know the troopers were paid to lie, so they are paid to say “Paula”.
I have always thought it was weird that Paula
Jones stepped forward, simply because it was such a
passing reference in an obscure magazine. Paula, I believe, was paid from the time before she stepped
forward to fabricate this whole thing. She did not step forward on her own and then afterwards get
supported by Mellon-Scaife; it was completely fabricated from before the magazine hit the stands.
We know that Paula is slutty and wanted to get into Hollywood.
They probably picked her out from a group of women
because she had had contact with Clinton
and they could manipulate her. I personally think she went in, gave a blowjob or a hand job to the
Big Dog and people knew about that. I think Mellon-Scaife’s people probably had a list of women
that they would try to get to say something about Clinton. It would be interesting to talk to women
around Clinton and ask them if any people asking around about Clinton had contacted them before
the Spectator article was published.
Michelle, there's no evidence Clinton ever met
the trailer park golddigger.
He says he doesn't remember ever meeting the future rhinoplasty patient..
She says he cornered her in the hotel room,
blocked the door, exposed himself and demanded that she "kiss it."
Pretty slick behavior for a lothario, isn't it?
The only possible witness was Trooper Larry Ferguson,
but he swears Paula asked him
if she could service the governor "on a regular basis," and she called him "a liar."
Incredibly, Paula's only witness is "a liar," according to her.
So there's no evidence they ever met.
But the second the Scaife/Brock/American Spectator
story hit the newstands, Paula went running into the
national spotlight screaming, "That was me in that book! Me, me, me, me, me, me!" and then she
refused to sue any of the people responsible for the "humiliation" she goddamn volunteered for.
Any court in any land would've thrown this out after a ten minute hearing,
as we learned last December, the Whore Court desperately wanted a Republican president,
so they ruled against Clinton in every unconstitutional motion that Hardon Kenny filed.
I'm so old, I remember when the Supreme Court was not for sale.
Includes yesterday, too.
Talked to Intern Day Before She Vanished
Drip, drip, drip...
WASHINGTON - Rep. Gary Condit told police
he last spoke to missing intern
Chandra Levy in an April 29 phone call, one day before she was last seen alive.
Levy (left) with Condit
Condit's lawyer says Levy placed "four or
five" calls to Condit "just before she vanished,"
but it was not clear whether she called again after that. Condit's wife was in town that day
on a rare visit to Washington.
In his long-awaited interview with police
Saturday, Condit was cooperative
but remained closed-mouthed about the nature of his relationship with Levy —
and cops didn't press him about it, sources said.
Don’t Lie: Bush Is in Trouble
by smoking Joe Conason
Conservatives complain that the President has too quickly abandoned party
positions on such issues as education vouchers and electricity price caps. Moderates
fret that he has held fast to unpopular plans such as drilling for oil in Florida’s
coastal waters and the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge (although there are signs
that the White House is preparing to drop those schemes, too). Even the dogmatic
party leadership in the House is beginning to distance itself from Mr. Bush.
AIDS fund backed by Bono gets U.S. support
(Launch) - A push that has been championed in recent months by U2's
Bono to increase American contributions
to the global AIDS fund appears to be paying off. United States Secretary of State Colin Powell told the U.N.
General Assembly Monday that the U.S. will support the fund, beginning with $200 million described as "seed money."
In a spirited speech, Powell told the U.N., "I was a soldier and I know
of no enemy in war more insidious or vicious
than AIDS, an enemy that poses a clear and present danger to the world." Bono said recently that Powell was among
the earliest U.S. government officials to step up to the plate on this issue.
"I don't know if you know that by 2010 there will be 40 million AIDS
orphans in Africa," Bono said.
"He has commented on this by saying the breakdown and the complete collapse of all structures in Africa
under the weight of those facts is a security issue for the United States."
He added, "Powell really has a feel for this. I told him we were looking
for a Moses on this matter
and he laughed, but I think he's taking this very, very seriously."
Subject: Hey, Bart!
I didn't know if you knew - Maxim Online is holding a Rump Romp.
It's a contest to match the "chunky bumpers" with their owners.
...I, ...I must admit I'd never heard of a "Rump Romp" until now.
And ...I think you might want to ease up on the sex stuff this week.
You were caught playing dirty pool on your way to a LIFETIME APPOINTMENT, remember?
Big Dog Returns to Washington and People Listen
Damn, I miss having a president with a brain
"Half the people on the face of the earth, most of them people of color,
live on less than $2 a day, A billion people on less than $1 a day,
a billion and a half people don't have clean water, ever,"
-- Bill Clinton, in rapid-fire delivery, apparently without notes.
Subject: Jenna Bush Gone Wild
Bart, is this picture really Jenna Bush?
I'm surprised the Bush White House would let her be in a video like this.
Please don't print my address.
As you can see, I work for the government and Smirk is my boss.
Joe, yes, I think that could be Jenna Bush, but shame on you!
Maybe you're new to bartcop.com but we don't
go for that tacky "gotcha" journalism.
We here at bartcop.com want to help our new president change the tone,
so it's inappropriate for you to speculate on what Jenna is doing in this picture.
Besides, she's old enough to get married and sign contracts, so
that means she old enough
to shake her moneymaker for teenage boys with VCRs, Viagra and insatiable stamina.
Next time you want to roll around in the gutter with your tawdry
I suggest you contact The New York Whore Times.
Their standards have really fallen.
Subject: St Louis Catholic Supply Co.
As a Catholic, I must say that I'm a bit disturbed
by your parody of St Louis Catholic Supply.
.....am I going to hell because I laughed that hard?
Concerned about my soul,
Kevin, you are almost certainly doomed to Hell.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
The 4th of July
Subject: Re: Condit
You're damn right there weren't any bodies, and
there probably will be in this case.
That's the point - it's a police matter, and the whore press speculating about Condit's place
in this mess is a phenomenon of the past few years.
If Condit isn't cooperating with the cops that's
Telling the press to go fuck itself is fine by me.
You're position appears contradictory to me.
The press is doing exactly what they did with Clinton - they're cock chasing,
this time a Blue Dog rather than the Big Dog.
They're trying to sell ads, not the truth.
Lou, you see no difference ?
Not only did Condit tell the press to fuck off, he told Mr & Mrs Levy the same thing.
That's why they flew to Washington - to shame him into looking them in the eye.
You don't have to agree with me on this.
You just have to realize the difference between oral sex and probable murder
...but you can still say "It's the same thing," 100 times, if you want.
Smirky's European Diary
Subject: Higdon vs BartCop
I am troubled by the fact that your position appears
to come very close to
the position that Tony Snow took when asked where is the proof/evidence
that Clinton staffers trashed the WH. (saw that in MediaWhoresOnline several weeks ago).
Rather than acknowledge that there were no photos,
videos, work orders for clean up, affidavits,
etc., etc., i.e., no affirmative evidence of wrongdoing, Snow simply said "Where's the denials?"
Can you explain how your position on Condit is
any different than Snow's re: the alleged WH vandalism?
Chuck, I sure can.
A Message from Bart
Subject: Question about Bush's telex to Hussein
Your June 28 issue mentioned a telex sent by George
Sr. to Saddaam Husein saying
"Take Kuwait if you want."
I've never heard about that before.
Was that a joke or was there really such a message sent?
It was not a joke, but allow me to clarify.
First, it's always a bad idea to get your facts from a comedy web site,
but that's all true, swear to Koresh, except for the wording.
I'll tell you what I remember because I'm old and I was paying attention.
April Glaspie was our ambassador in the area.
(I don't know if we had an ambassador to Iraq at the time, or if she was in Jordan
or somewhere and taking care of Iraq on the side - I need a staff)
She sent a Telex to the White House saying Saddam wanted clarification
of our position on whatever
his stated intentions were. The Telex he got back from the White House saying (paraphrase)
"The United States has no intention of interfering in Middle East affairs."
Saddam read that as a blank check as anybody would - so he invaded Kuwait.
The Bush White House threw a fit and threatened to send troops to push
At that point, Saddam showed the CNN cameras his Telex saying, in effect,
"Do what you want, it's not our concern."
When the press asked Bush if the Telex Saddam showed them was real,
Bush hid behind "National security."
It's hard to figure out what "national security" was at risk since the
world had already seen
and read Saddam's copy of Bush's Telex, but Bush continued to stonewall.
The Democrats, of course, didn't press the issue.
It was only hundreds of young Americans dead in the sand.
Why should the Democrats bother to find out why?
Wouldn't be prudent to distract a sitting president...
We lost hundreds of young men & women in Kuwait and Iraq, and Bush
was never asked
to explain his foreign affairs gaffe that cost us hundreds of lives for no goddamn reason.
Just like Iran-Contra, October Surprise and everything young Smirk has
gotten away with,
we never get the straight truth from either Bush administration.
When Bill Clinton tries to hide a little bit of consexual sex, the GOP
and the whore press
went completely wild 24/7 for three loooooong years, against the will of the people
who wanted the government to press on with more important matters.
Hundreds of unnecessary deaths?
No problem - Bush was in charge.
A little sex in the Oval Office?
They called it a constitutional crisis.
"The flag is falling," screamed a hysterical Henry Hyde.
Horseshit in the extreme.
Aliens upset with President Weak & Stupid's performance, too
Subject: Ask Bartcop! Re: G. Lyons
Does Gene Lyons read Bartcop?
In his last essay, Mr. Lyons wrote,
“Even with the Washington press clique openly
taking sides, it was always hard to
understand how a strong minority voted for Bush and against peace and prosperity.”
"Peace and prosperity"
Where have I seen that before?
I sent Gene Lyons some e-mail once, inviting him to visit bartcop.com
but if he answered me, I didn't not see the message.
Earlier this year, I wrote again and told him I really liked his latest
and again invited him to check out bartcop.com
This time he wrote back, said, "Thanks,"
and said he checked out bartcop.com "a time or two."
Maybe he was just being nice, trying to stop me from writing a third time.
People like Gene Lyons and Joe Conason are too busy with real stuff
to be bothering with Tequilaboy's comedy treehouse.
Subject: St. Louis Catholic Supply
It has everything you need.
I saw that they have priest shirts ($29.99) and
the white collars and "collarettes" ($14.99 a dozen).
That's probably a good investment; you'd probably get a lot of free stuff, drinks on-the-house,
room upgrades, special clergy discounts, etc.
As an added bonus, you could bitch out Henry Hyde
and Rudy Giulliani in public
and they'd have to just slink away.
Go to http://www.catholicsupply.com
for a really good time.
Joe, the babes dig the collar, too.
It's better than a cute puppy for meeting chicks.
More on that Horowitz scam you bartcop.com readers busted
flexible fuzzy numbers
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.