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Volume 522 - Making them Nervous

Recent.Old Stuff . .Celeb-ho e-mails  .Required Reading. The Liberal Media? .Crime of the Century?   Con LinksKiss My Ass
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 July 9, 2001.  ..... .....  ...Advertise on    .......... .......SPORTS..  ..........  ..Did you hear it? 
 VCR Alert - Larry King - Billy Martin (Atty. for the family of Chandra Levy) 


 "Today was Bring Your Daughter to Work Day.
   President Bush took his daughters to work and let them dismantle 12 environmental regulations."
     -- Dave, recently, I guess...


Subject: Re:  Heather's Canada posting

Hi BC,

I'd just like to reassure Heather, and all the other Americans out there, that Canadians don't really object
to Americans calling themselves "Americans" -- though calling us Americans is a different matter entirely!
(Nothing personal -- we like being ourselves, and my American friends respect that ...)

Just about everyone I've talked to up here is unhappy with the way the U.S. election turned out.
Imagine you've got a best friend, a big bodacious babe you've known since elementary school.
And this friend of yours is now shacked up with a guy who's totally unsuitable for her.

He's mean and arrogant, is rude to all of the people she used to hang with, and is always putting her down
in public and treating her as if she's stupid.  You just know he's slapping her around when things aren't going his way.
Plus, she's managed to set aside some money, for retirement and medical emergencies -- and he's giving
her cash away to his friends (most of whom are stinking rich anyway and don't need handouts).

You know that domestic disputes are bad news -- you're scared to get involved because he's going to
take it out on you (and worse, on her).  But what you REALLY want to do is kick open the door of that
big white house, march up to him, and say:  "You leave her alone -- don't bother to pack, just GO
-- and take your cabinet, Karl Rove, and the Supreme Court Five with you!"

And that's how a lot of Canadians feel.  I know the U.S. government is not the same thing as the
American People -- and especially in this case, I realize that the man who claims to be representing you
sure isn't as thoughtful, kind-hearted, and inspiring as those Americans whom it's been my privilege to know.


Lisa, good note.
The only thing I could add to that is we never wanted this stupid marriage.
It was arranged for us by our not-well-meaning Uncle Tony, against our will.

We don't like the guy, much less love him. He's a smirking uncurious moron
who thinks the presidency is the least he deserves, cause his daddy is so rich.
Our skin crawls when he tries to touch us.

But, if we have any hope if having a constitution when his term is up,
we have to let him screw us for the next 3.5 years.

Pray for us.


 "A man in Utah was arrested for having five wives.
   Ironically, now he's in prison with five husbands."
     -- Conan


Subject: How do I spur the Gelding Dems into action?

Dear Beloved BartCop,

It's not enough that the Prez Select is screwing my home state, California.
Now he is going to assist the commie North Koreans, while still thumbing his nose at us!
We lived in South Korea in the mid-80s and I can tell you that the DMZ is one adrenalized place.
There is no paranoia like a South Korean's paranoia about N. Korea.
The Shrub has no business whatsoever offering them ANYthing, let along POWER that he
won't turn loose for the SIXTH LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD!!!!

Sorry for getting so carried away...I'm really passionate about this.
First hand knowledge and all that.

While I'm getting all het up, how can we get the Geldings to REJECT Elliot Abrams and his ilk?
What the (expletive deleted) is going on up there?  Where are my ELECTED representatives?
Are they on Sominex?  Do they fear Bill O'Reilly?
Do they care about the rest of us with half a brain?  Oy vey!

I am so ready to act against this sad state of affairs and know not how to begin.
Anything you can suggest is greatly appreciated.

And if you really do read this, no matter when, thanks for playing big and swinging out...
thanks for being a voice for those of us whose voices have been ignored for too long.

Raging Liberal

Deborah, I wish I had a clue.
If I was scared to death to do my job, I could probably explain why.
But I don't know why the Democrats are such scared little bunnies.

They KNOW the majority of Americans didn't want Ashcroft, Norton and Olson,
but they were too afraid Karl Rove might yell at them, so they folded like a cheap map.

I don't know why they stabbed Clinton in the back with "illegal" pardons, "trashing"
the White House or "stripping" every towel and bar of soap from Air Force One.

The spineless, pink-tutu weenies lost the House and Senate in 1994 when they refused
to hang with their president, and now they're hanging separately as a result.
What can turn them around?

If I was weak, maybe I'd have a clue.


 "There's no question that the minute I got elected,
    the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."
        -- Weak & Stupid, May 11, 2001

 Pigboy is going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
 about how the Condit presumed murdered intern case is "exactly the same,"
 as a consensual semi-affair between two adults.

 Hey, Pigboy, what part of "presumed murdered" is "exactly like" the Monica story?

 Last Friday's Larry King that everyone keeps talking about?
 Barbie Olson (R-Fries) and Laura Ingrham (R-Grizzly) never once,
 during the entire program, failed to mention what a shame it was that
 "these young, idealistic teenagers" come to Washington only to be hunted
 by the Democratic perverts - and all the time the Democrats sat there and took it.

 Slur after slur after slur after slur after slur after slur after slur without mentioning
 Newt cheating on his wife, Livingston cheating on his wife, Burton cheating on his wife,
 Hyde cheating on his wife, and the most obvious fact of all - the fact that Denny Hastert
 was promoted from "absolute nobody" to Speaker of the House because he was the
 only republican left in the House who hadn't cheated on his wife and therefore couldn't be exposed.

 No, as always, the Democrats sat there, slur after slur after slur after slur and
 let Barbie the Clown-sucker and the Grizzly attack the democrats without rebuttal.

 Is there some Democratic gene that prevents self-defense?
 If so, how did I miss getting it? - thank Koresh

 This Just In...

 Rush said there WAS a missing woman in Monicagate - Elizabeth Ward Gracen!

 ha ha

 Hey Rush, don't tell those impressionable sheep the truth:

 She went to Japan to escape Hardon Kenny's goons, and the vulgar Pigboy
 says that's "exactly the same,"  as Chandra levy being presumed murdered
 by everyone on Earth except the Keystone DC cops.

 Y'know, Pigboy, another difference is this:
 Nobody is chasing Condit with a hardon and $100,000,000  for political purposes.
 Condit wasn't targeted because he kicked the asses of two Republican war heroes.
 Condit is mixed up in a presumed murdered woman's disappearance.
 Again, for the hard-headed Pigboy, that's different than a blow job.

 Pigboy, you're such an immoral whore.

 Walls Talking
   by  RB Ham

   Click  Here


 "If a person doesn't have the capacity that we all want that person to have,
   I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all."
    -- Weak & Stupid to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund Institute, May 22, 2001

  Y'know, between Smirk's inability to string words together (or think)
  and Pigboy's non-stop Litany of Lies,
  how does anyone know what today's GOP stands for?


Subject: don't shoot!

Now that we see that most of the democrats in congress are spineless,
do you understand why michael moore and company voted for nader?

[ducks] DONT SHOOT! :-)

I'm not saying they were right doing it. but i do see their point.


Guy, no, I don't understand.
What we have is a well-equipt army who has forgotten how to fight.

Maybe all the democrats need is for a George Patton-type to stand up and say,
"I'm not asking you to die for your country.
  I'm asking you to make the other dumb son of a bitch die for his."

The idea of me, you, Mikey and Ralphie getting our four guns together
and trying to fight the other army of sons of bitches is crazy.

 One of the first people to break the story of the AP whoring for Smirk
 by printing tomorrow's news stories before they happened was Alex Mnatsakanov.
 I noticed his e-mail was
 I asked him if he was Russian and how he came to America.
 This is his story.

 How I Became an American
   by Alex Mnatsakanov

  Click  Here

 My grandfather was beaten, and miraculously escaped alive.
 My grandmother was taken hostage,  and kept on bread and water for 3 days
 until the police found her.  My aunt and her kids escaped by hiding in a trunk of a car.
 All of our houses were robbed, and taken over.  There were ethnic cleansing going on.
 For 7 days riots rocked Baku.

 Alex, thanks for sending that excellent story.
 I'm going to print that so the spoiled Americans will remember that we
 have such a nice life here, and all we do is complain and attack each other.

 Plus, it was good to hear something nice about the Catholics :)


    Subject: Poetry by W

BC -
A friend just  sent me this.
It's made up entirely of quotations from George W Bush.
The quotes have been arranged, for aesthetic reasons only, by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson.

      by George W. Bush

     I think we all agree, the past is over.
     This is still a dangerous world.
     It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
     and potential mental losses.

     Rarely is the question asked:
     Is our children learning?
     Will the highways of the internet
     become more few?
     How many hands have I shaked?

     They misunderestimate me.
     I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
     I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.

     Families is where our nation finds hope,
     where our wings take dream.

     Put food on your family!
     Knock down the tollbooth!
     Vulcanize Society!

     Make the pie higher!
     Make the pie higher!


Subject: You're making them nervous

Morning Bart
Been reading a lot on your site how you are being blocked at various places.
They act like they don`t know you but they block your site!!!!!!
Hope you got my card and check.

Be Reading You.

Joe, thanks.
I can't imagine why I'd make anybody nervous,
unless they were guilty and didn't want the truth to get out.

You're a pillar of


 "I duuno, I come down to the idea that I don't see where Puerto Rico should get any
   favored treatment over the rest of these people. Now what have they done to get it?
  They sit down there on welfare and very few of them paying taxes.
  Got a sweetheart deal, I don't really see the equity in it."
      -- Utah Rep. James Hansen, (R-Compassionate) explaining the Vieques issue

 Terry Page of Oklahoma Killed

 Click  Here

  ...and you wondered why I used a fake name...

 Who's Really President?
   Rove or Cheney?

  Click  Here

 Karl Rove is "the center of all power in the White House."
 But Dick Cheney is the White House's "supreme power broker."

 Remembering an old friend

 Liberalism Resurgent
 Steve Kangas would have been a happy man right now
   by Bryan Zepp Jamieson

  Click  Here


Subject: Sally Q. on Condit

Sally shakes her finger at the way Condit has "played" the Chandra Levy situation.
Did you know Sally was a "reporter" (see bottom of story)?  Me, either.
I thought she was just Ben Bradlee's fluid receptacle.
Anyway, here's the link.

 Click  Here

Keep up the great work, BC!

ha ha

...fluid receptacle

Perry Blasts Bush Plan For Bomb Site In Texas
  Texas Governor thinks Bush is an idiot

 Full Story

 "Perry said he was "deeply troubled by the likely environmental impact -- from
  the marring or possible destruction of portions of the South Padre Island Seashore,
  which is the longest undeveloped barrier island in the world -- to the possible
  devastation of plant, animal and bird species in the area."

 Wait, this can't be.
 Senator Pissquik (OK-BigEmbarrassment) says people enjoy being bombed by our navy.

 Our cowardly leader
   by Max Brantley   (He means Huckabee, not Weak & Stupid)

  Click  Here

A lot of words -including cowardly and dishonest- come to mind as Gov. Mike Huckabee tries to distance himself
from the rapist he helped free to allegedly prey on women again.  Since the news that Wayne DuMond was under
suspicion in two Missouri murders, Huckabee has been spinning wildly that he had nothing to do with DuMond's parole.

"...I'm very glad that I
  didn't have anything
  to do with his release,"
  the governor told Donrey Media.

"That's bullshit," says the victim's father Stevie Stevens.
  "I don't know any other way to say it."
  More disinterested parties, not to mention the public record, back Stevens.

 Why can't this super-Christian tell the truth?
  Is that what Jesus Would Do?
 Tell a bald-faced lie to everyone who knows better?

From: (withheld)

Subject: Bush twins not with W on his birthday

Dear BartCop,

The New York Times had an article yesterday about Georgie spending his birthday
in Kennebunkport.  It said that just about everybody in the Bush family was or would be there.

It explained the twins' absence simply by saying that they were in Texas with friends.
(So much for family values.)  I wonder, though, if the terms of Jenna's probation
prohibit her from leaving the state.  Is this the case?


Greg, the Royal Family's Texas Tramps are above the law.
They can do whatever they want.

 Elliot Abrams' Appointment Shows Who Controls the GOP
    Pardonboy gets a very public reward for keeping silent
      by Mary McGrory of the Washington Post

  Click  Here

 The appointment signifies a step beyond Bush's in-your-face selections for Latin America.
 This one is in your eye, a signal to the right wing that there is nothing he will not do for it.
 Choosing Abrams makes laughable  Bush's promise of increased civility and bipartisanship.
 Ditto his claims of being "a uniter, not a divider."

 Members of Congress remember Abrams's snarling appearances at committee hearings,
 defending death squads and dictators, denying massacres, lying about illegal U.S. activities
 in support of the Nicaraguan contras. Abrams sneered at his critics for their blindness
 and naivete, or called them "vipers."

 George Bush is clearly not up to the job
    by Bill Maxwell

  Click  Here

 Here is my question: How many of the white men who so enthusiastically voted for Bush
 are willing to fess up that their man is not up to the job, that their irrational choice did the
 nation a grave disservice? And, I want to know, what does their vote say about them?


Subject: Huckabee embarasses himself, and our Nation for Canada

Dear bartcop:

While reading your July 6th issue, I noticed you printed something about the moron from Arkansas,
Mike Huckabee.  Some time ago, a Canadian television show did a spoof on how stupid "Americans" can be.
(Our neighbors to the North take personal offense to us calling ourselves "Americans" since they
share this continent with us too.)

Topping the list of stupid Americans was none other than Mike Huckabee, the chief monkey from Arkansas.
They actually got this idiot to go national TV and humiliate our country!!  I thought this would be a nearly
impossible feat, given the intellectual stature of our smirking pResident*, but Huckleberry was NOT to be outdone.
They have the WHOLE  thing on tape.  While the host of the show is asking him to congratulate Canada for
preserving its IGLOO which houses the Parliament!!!  Huckleberry was a  bit hestitant at first..
.he wanted to know if this was a *controversial* igloo.

Here is a link to the article:

"Once, he convinced Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee to congratulate Canada on
 tape for "preserving its national igloo, housing the parliament of Canada."



     -After The Rapture
   from the twisted mind of RB Ham

   Click  Here

 Polygraph Follies
  Ken Starr and Juanita Broaddrick Must Face
  Less-Than-Favorable Lie Detector Results

 Investigator Jack Harwood of Palm Beach says Juanita Broaddrick's assertion
 that Bill Clinton raped her in an Arkansas hotel room 21 years ago is a lie.

 Using a Verimetrics Instrument, a cutting edge computerized psychological stress evaluator and
 lie detector that measures stress levels in a person's voice, Harwood has concluded that Broaddrick
 did have a sexual encounter with Clinton on the day she claims he sexually assaulted her, but it wasn't forced.

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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