Wouldn't a nice cabin in the woods feel good?
Put your ad here
Stroke Me, Stroke me
Under Kweisi Mfume, the NAALCP has done
nothing more than
play "Fetchinsteppit" for the left wing of the Democratic Party.
-- Vulgarboy, third hour
To: firstname.lastname@example.org (The Associated Press)
Subject: Complaint and Question
Three times in the last ten days you have filed fraudulent
concerning President Bush. At 1 AM in the morning, you are filing
reports about what Bush and Cheney HAVE DONE in the day to come.
Why don't you wait until they do it before you say they've done it?
The worst was on the Monday Cheney came back from surgery.
At 1 AM, you said he was meeting with reporters and doing
radio interviews, but that was not true. He was asleep in his bed
when you wrote that he was "having a normal day."
Please stop lying.
You cannot predict the future.
Are you printing what Karl Rove tells you to print?
Please stop lying to us.
Da Vinci Drawing Sells for Record $11.4 Million
A drawing by Leonardo da Vinci sold for a world record price
of $11.4 million.
The auctioneers Christie's said the "Horse and Rider" sale established a world record
price for da Vinci as works by the Renaissance genius are rarely sold at auction.
But you can own a copy for free
- just for reading bartcop.com
It's too bad our sports section isn't doing
There are so many things going on in sports that I don't have time to get into,
but still I'd enjoy getting some feedback on certain topics such as:
NASCAR folks fix that last race so Dale Jr. could win?
Did those cars line up to form a barrier so Junior could win?
A lot of people think so.
in the All Star game, Mike Piazza is going to face red-ass Roger Clemens
who is one of Rush's big idols because "he plays with intensity."
Nevermind that the childish bastard threw a broken bat at Piazza.
You just can't take Clemens side, unless maybe you're Rude Rich from NY.
Bonds tie or beat Mark McGwire's 70 home runs in a season?
After getting to 35 faster than anyone in history, he seems to have leveled off.
Woo ever come out of his slump?
Or is he hexed forever? ha ha
There are the constant boxing controversies that will remain unexplored, too.
Will once-champ Tyson fight once-champ Lennox Lewis?
There are so many controversial sports stories that remain undiscussed
is on haitus at the moment, but he has agreed
to keep the Sports Section going until football season gets going.
If we can't get anyone interested in football, we'll just let the Sports Section die.
I realize this is a political humor page, and sports isn't under that umbrella, but there's plenty
of politics in sports, isn't there? I'm surprised that there aren't more people with an opinion
to express on sports. Perhaps somebody meant to get involved, and that might've turned into
a whole career for them, now that bartcop.com is read by dozens.
So we'll know by mid-September if the Sports Section will fly or die.
Do we have anybody out there who might be
interested in covering Entertainment?
I think we could use a section on everything connected with Hollywood.
We have a new TV season about to open.
We constantly have new movies coming out in theaters and on video/DVD.
We have celebrity arrests, celebrity deaths, celebrity divorces and so on.
It's probably too big for one person to
handle, so maybe we could have one person
in charge of TV, another in charge of movies, another for celebrity gossip,
another to cover new album releases and someone to cover the summer tours, etc.
I know we have some guitar maniacs out there. Now's your chance.
You'd need some html experience, nothing fancy, but the early replies could pick
the section they want to cover - wouldn't that be a hoot?
Lots of times these ideas go nowhere, but
when we fall, we get up again, over and over.
We keep coming because we can't be stopped.
us and tell us which section of Entertainment
you'd like to manage.
Be sure to put "Entertainment" in the subject header.
When we got the confirmation from C-Span about the profile of
I remembered the time they spoke with my good friend Bev from OnlineJournal.com
they scrolled down the page and asked a question about this story and a question about that story.
Wanting to get the biggest bang possible out of this opportunity,
I wrote to Greg Palast,
newspaper is being sued by Bush toadies in an attempt to end his very warranted criticism of young Bush.
I also wrote to Robert Parry, the hero who broke the original Iran-Contra scandal, which I consider to be
the Rosetta Stone and ground zero of modern day GOP corruption.
I asked him what questions he might like to put to the Bush Family Evil Empire. (my words, not his)
Not knowing when or if I'd hear back from either of them, I ran
the story of Greg's Bush-troubles
in that issue, and I re-ran the burning "Where was Bush during October Surprise?" question.
I didn't get a reply from Greg, (at least not that I can find)
but I know he's busy trying to save his newspaper
from the vindictive (murdering?) vendetta put in motion by the old-money, Bush power-grabbing cartel.
I mention the word "murdering" because that touches on Greg Palast's lawsuit story.
However I did get this answer from a man I really admire - my
good friend Robert Parry of Consortium
who consistantly writes the best non-fluff, must-read stories on the Bush Family Evil Empire.
I didn't want to print his reply without his permission.
Robert Parry isn't a man to jack around.
I found his letter (with permission) today, buried in the mail.
Subject: Re: Going to be on C-Span, want to plug you
I guess the interesting point about the
Bush family is how they've always slipped
away from straightforward questions. Once Dana Carvey did an insightful skit
about the elder Bush explaining to Dubya how the Bushes `slip, we slide.'
That certainly conforms to the public record.
They are never held to account and rarely asked direct questions.
For instance, why didn't Dubya report
to duty with the National Guard in Alabama?
Did he abuse cocaine? What did he mean with that strange construction about being
able to able to pass his father's tests on employment? How can someone running for
president just walk away from such questions by telling the press not to ask?
That would never have worked for Clinton or Gore.
And for the father, where exactly was
he on Oct. 19, 1980?
Why has he never answered that question?
Why has it never been put to him directly
by anyone in authority?
Who was the supposed alibi witness that afternoon?
Why did the Bush administration refuse
to release such a simple fact
that presumably would have disproved the allegation of a trip to Paris?
Why didn't they let congressional investigators
interview the person who
supposedly was with Mr. and Mrs. Bush, unless the Bushes were afraid
the alibi witness might say he/she was with Mrs. Bush alone?
As you know, there are now corroborated
accounts, including the Russian
report to the U.S. Congress, that Bush was in Paris for a meeting with Iranians.
Why can't Bush just answer a simple straightforward
question to put the allegations to rest?
By comparison, look at the questions put to Clinton.
Isn't the possibility of treason more
significant than consensual sex? Why do the Bushes
always get preferential treatment from the media and government investigators?
I guess those are among the questions that might be asked.
A rare double shot of Chinaco Anejo
to Robert Parry
for busting open the treasonous scam we've come to know as Iran-Contra.
Be sure to visit consortiumnews.com
Rumsfeld - US missile test results likely to be mixed
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said
Monday that the most likely outcome of this week's
missile defense test will be a mixture of results.
The Defense Department is scheduled to
conduct a test on Saturday to see whether an interceptor missile
carrying a ``kill vehicle'' launched from Kwajalein Atoll can destroy a modified long-range missile
with a mock warhead and decoy launched from California, 4,800 miles away.
"My guess is that the outcome will be
unfortunately simplified when it's over
as either succeeding or not succeeding,'' Rumsfeld said.
Translation: There's no chance this test will be successful.
Remember where the Nasdaq was when he had an elected, popular
It was at 4250, back when Wall Street had a president who stood for growth.
Back when we had a president who believed in paying the bills before we threw the party
But when Voodoo Junior was installed against the voter's
that supply-cide horseshit scared the markets and the free fall continues to this day.
God, what did we do to anger you so?
Please, God, don't punish us this way.
Please, God, show us your mercy.
"Screw the little people."
This smirking idiot is overseeing the greatest transfer of wealth
in history from the have-nots
to the have-everythings. Just because he was born with a silver coke spoon in his nose,
Smirky thinks those who haven't made it as far as him just haven't tried hard enough.
Smirk will create a Star Wars board of his rich campaign contributors,
and they will be handed
BILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to line their pockets while ostensibly building a missle defense system
that we know will not do anything besides piss off our allies and scare our enemies into an arms race
- and the gelding Democrats will stand idly by while he does it.
It was nice knowing you.
"Bush doesn't have a clue. He's unaware
that`we are all living in a global village.
He is ignorant on the environment."
-- Robert Redford
Subject: GORE Voters Power The Economy!
"America's 319 largest metro areas accounted
for 85 percent of
the nation's gross domestic product and 84 percent of the country's jobs."
Hey, aren't these metro areas the "blue areas"
who voted overwhelmingly for AL GORE?
Doesn't that make the Republican areas, with their paltry 15% contribution to the GDP, "FREELOADERS"?
on his hands
Iran Contra veteran returns to the White House
by Eric Alterman
July 9 — Of all the events of ex-President Bush’s political career, his participation in
the Iran-Contra affair proved to be the most ignominious. The discovery by Lawrence Walsh
that Caspar Weinberger’s diaries implicated Bush himself almost certainly contributed to his defeat
in the 1992 election. When Bush subsequently pardoned Weinberger and Elliott Abrams, he was,
in fact, pardoning himself, since Walsh appeared closing in on Bush’s role at the time of the last-minute pardons.
His son, now president, seems intent on
erasing these events from public memory by appointing these
same figures to high-profile jobs. In doing so, he is staining his own administration with the association
of some of the most nefarious characters ever to participate in the make of U.S. foreign policy.
Blood is right, the murdering son of a bitch.
But the Democrats and the press have orders from Karl Rove NOT to ask any questions about it.
All print and TV media have been embargoed from this story.
Only the Online Resistance is allowed to speak the truth about the Bush family Evil Empire
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
The Arming of Ashcroft's America
"You can't get to closing this issue
without getting all the information out there.
And you know, is there a better way to do this? Probably so, but we've got what
we've got, and the fact is, is the information is going to get out eventually anyway.
Let's just do it all at once, see where the chips fall and then let's get on to making
a decision of what we're going to do about what we think happened."
-- Gary Condirt, joyfully playing with Clinton's zipper in 1998
Gary, Clinton's zipper was
never any of your business.
Clinton didn't mislead police when a woman's life was at stake, like you did.
The Karma gods are coming to (have sex with) you, Gary.
on Ulster standby
from The Guardian
Bill Clinton has been placed on standby to intervene in the emergency talks on Northern Ireland
being chaired at a stately home in Shropshire by Tony Blair and his Irish counterpart, Bertie Ahern.
Downing Street confirmed last night that the former president, who met the two prime ministers at
Chequers yesterday, would talk to the province's political leaders by phone
if it was felt that his involvement would be helpful.
Four years from now, when President Weak & Stupid has been
(this depends, of course, on Scalia allowing free elections) can you imagine anybody
on the planet wanting help from the appointed boy king?
Oh, sure, some oil companies will pay him to handle a Bahrain
the Bush Family Evil Empire has a monopoly on drilling rights there, but nobody
would want former President Cotton Candy's help on anything that required a brain.
Thanks to Maggie
I did a phone interview last night.
Should be up Thursday morning, as part of a much bigger story.
I got a little animated during the interview (but always polite,
no blue words)
and I wasn't trying to get all Crispin Glover with her, but she asked why there
were so many anti-Smirk web sites created in the last 6 months, and I just went off.
"The abortion, going AWOL during wartime, the cocaine/community service question..."
Polite as a Catholic schoolboy, I nonetheless let a little passion
which brings me to my reason for bringing this up.
I did a west coast interview, which should be out any time now.
I'm pretty sure nothing will be distorted.
I didn't say no to the C-Span thing because it was live and ...it was C-Span.
An offer from C-Span is pretty clean - and live? What could they distort?
So I did this third interview last night, on my cell phone in
the car, because of the Thursday deadline.
I'm very confident I won't be the bad guy in this piece, if for no other reason than they will be
a whole list of websites in this story. I figure to get a mention in the closing paragraph.
But, ...will there come a time when some misguided man or woman
comes on like a friend,
and then turns on me like a shark with some whorific their-edit hatchet job on me?
Can you imagine the fire and heat that'll be in that next issue?
I kinda wish it would happen sooner, rather than later.
If some junior reporter tries to pull a Number 6 on me,
I'll give him/her his/her own icon at the top of the page.
Sally Quinn isn't like most reporters.
For one, most reporters don't blow their boss under the desk.
Click Here to read what Miss Nasty Ass did to the truth last night.
She and Chris the Screamer should be thrown off the air.
I found some pictures.
I have a feeling I was supposed to run this story a loooooong time ago...
Another day, another crook appointed by Weak & Stupid
Larry Truman lamented about life in Washington that if you want a friend, you have to get a dog.
But George W. Bush's nomination of former Strom Thurmond aide Terry Wooten to the
U.S. District Court in Carolina illustrates another, perhaps more useful lesson:
If you want a friend in Washington who can really help you out someday, you have to do a favor.
I got some flame mail from a guy.
I wrote back and said, "Dude, you got something to say?"
He wrote back:
Subject: Re: Hey from BartCop
I fail to see how some clown can get on the Internet and tell everyone exactly what he thinks.
From whom should I have sought permission to have and publish that opinion?
Of course, no one else's opinion means anything because you know everything and everyone else is wrong.
That's not entirely true.
I have been proven wrong before.
I didn't hear your mouth running when Clinton made an international joke out of the office of the President.
JCD, ...can I call you JCD?
...I'm not sure I remember that piece of history.
I remember our allies and our enemies wondering aloud why we would attempt to destroy a young,
handsome powerful man for succumming to temptations of the flash, as many, many men have done
for at least four millenia before Christ was born.
He was responsible for more underhanded schemes
and led the most corrupt regime of anyone in history.
Where was your mouth then?
I can answer your questions:
My mouth was where it is right now - speaking out.
...but "most corrupt regime?" Compared to who?
Do you realize that 1952 is the last year
that the Republican Party nominated
and elected a president who was not sprayed by the stench of the pardon skunk?
Think about that...
Gerald Ford had to pardon Richard Nixon for his
string of crimes,
and George the First had to pardon Saint Reagan's cabinet for their crimes.
You going to try to deny that?
...and you think Clinton's blowjobs were actionable?
Now, he and his criminal wife are going to be brought up on charges for hiding campaign contributions.
"going to be brought up on charges?"
We heard that in 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997,
1998, 1999, 2000, 2001,
and I'm sure we'll hear it in 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023...
That, obviously, is alright with you, yet you
choose to ridicule the current administration.
Apparently, you wanted to see Gore win the election.
After all, I can't blame you for wanting the man who, singlehandedly, invented everything worth inventing.
Talk about someone who has no concept of reality.
JCD, good one.
I, of course, am backed into a corner, and I am at your mercy.
I think you just might be the guy who can teach me that lesson I been needin'.
I think you carry the Republican banner rather well...
I think we should agree to do battle.
I think a live, chatroom debate is in order.
You seemed to have plenty of ammunition - right?
Is Thursday 9 PM CST good for you?
We can do it right here, without interference when only you and I can post.
You up for that?
Poundstone's drinking led to arrest
Paula Poundstone has a drinking problem
that "clearly had a bearing"
on her arrest her attorney said in a statement Monday.
Attorney Steven Cron declined to elaborate
on how Poundstone's drinking
related to the allegations. He said she decided to enter a residential treatment
program before the investigation began, and was there when arrested June 27.
"After having had a chance to study the details
of the case against her,
I remain convinced that she is not guilty of the lewd conduct charges pending against her."
I can see how they could stretch a drinking binge into "child
but how does that square with the lewd molestation charges?
She was drunk and couldn't control herself?
That's not an excuse.
Are you pleading her guilty to the media, Mr. Cron?
That's not going to wash with anybody, is it?
I'm not sure you did her any favors with that statement, Mr Cron.
The public isn't buying the president's energy plan
by Arianna Huffington
The recent precipitous drop in George W. Bush's approval rating is by no means
the worst news for the White House. After all, presidential approval ratings tend
to have more ups and downs than a roller coaster filled with manic-depressives.
No, what should have Karl Rove and Karen
Hughes waking up in a cold sweat
in the middle of the night are the recent polls showing not just that the public
overwhelmingly supports energy conservation efforts over the massive buildup
of new power plants but that Republicans do as well -- by a ratio of more than 2-to-1.
"George, please, I have a country to run."
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.