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Volume 523 - Uncle Tom's Revenge

Recent.Old Stuff . .Celeb-ho e-mails  .Required Reading. The Liberal Media? .Crime of the Century?   Con LinksKiss My Ass
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Wouldn't a nice cabin in the woods feel good?

Put your ad here

 July 10, 2001.  ..... .....  ...Advertise on    .......... .......SPORTS..  ..........  ..Did you hear it? 

 Stroke Me, Stroke me

 Under Kweisi Mfume, the NAALCP has done nothing more than
 play "Fetchinsteppit" for the left wing of the Democratic Party.
    -- Vulgarboy, third hour

 To:   (The Associated Press)


 Subject: Complaint and Question

 Three times in the last ten days you have filed fraudulent reports
 concerning President Bush. At 1 AM in the morning, you are filing
 reports about what Bush and Cheney HAVE DONE in the day to come.

 Why don't you wait until they do it before you say they've done it?

 The worst was on the Monday Cheney came back from surgery.
 At 1 AM, you said he was meeting with reporters and doing
 radio interviews, but that was not true.  He was asleep in his bed
 when you wrote that he was "having a normal day."

 Please stop lying.

 You cannot predict the future.
 Are you printing what Karl Rove tells you to print?

 Please stop lying to us.


 Da Vinci Drawing Sells for Record $11.4 Million

  A drawing by Leonardo da Vinci sold for a world record price of $11.4 million.
  The auctioneers Christie's said the "Horse and Rider" sale established a world record
  price for da Vinci as works by the Renaissance genius are rarely sold at auction.

  But you can own a copy for free
  - just for reading

 Sports Section

 It's too bad our sports section isn't doing very well.
 There are so many things going on in sports that I don't have time to get into,
 but still I'd enjoy getting some feedback on certain topics such as:

Did the NASCAR folks fix that last race so Dale Jr. could win?
  Did those cars line up to form a barrier so Junior could win?
  A lot of people think so.

Tonight in the All Star game, Mike Piazza is going to face red-ass Roger Clemens
 who is one of Rush's big idols because "he plays with intensity."
 Nevermind that the childish bastard threw a broken bat at Piazza.
 You just can't take Clemens side, unless maybe you're Rude Rich from NY.

Can Barry Bonds tie or beat Mark McGwire's 70 home runs in a season?
 After getting to 35 faster than anyone in history, he seems to have leveled off.

Will Tiger Woo  ever come out of his slump?
 Or is he hexed forever?  ha ha
There are the constant boxing controversies that will remain unexplored, too.
  Will once-champ Tyson fight once-champ Lennox Lewis?

 There are so many controversial sports stories that remain undiscussed is on haitus at the moment, but he has agreed
 to keep the Sports Section going until football season gets going.
 If we can't get anyone interested in football, we'll just let the Sports Section die.
 I realize this is a political humor page, and sports isn't under that umbrella, but there's plenty
 of politics in sports, isn't there?  I'm surprised that there aren't more people with an opinion
 to express on sports.  Perhaps somebody meant to get involved, and that might've turned into
 a whole career for them, now that  is read by dozens.

 So we'll know by mid-September if the Sports Section will fly or die.


 Do we have anybody out there who might be interested in covering Entertainment?
 I think we could use a section on everything connected with Hollywood.

 We have a new TV season about to open.
 We constantly have new movies coming out in theaters and on video/DVD.
 We have celebrity arrests, celebrity deaths, celebrity divorces and so on.

 It's probably too big for one person to handle, so maybe we could have one person
 in charge of TV, another in charge of movies, another for celebrity gossip,
 another to cover new album releases and someone to cover the summer tours, etc.
 I know we have some guitar maniacs out there.  Now's your chance.

 Anybody interested?
 You'd need some html experience, nothing fancy, but the early replies could pick
 the section they want to cover - wouldn't that be a hoot?

 Lots of times these ideas go nowhere, but when we fall, we get up again, over and over.
 We keep coming because we can't be stopped.

us and tell us which section of Entertainment you'd like to manage.
 Be sure to put "Entertainment" in the subject header.

 Back Story

 When we got the confirmation from C-Span about the profile of
 I remembered the time they spoke with my good friend Bev from
 they scrolled down the page and asked a question about this story and a question about that story.

 Wanting to get the biggest bang possible out of this opportunity, I wrote to Greg Palast, whose British
 newspaper is being sued by Bush toadies in an attempt to end his very warranted criticism of  young Bush.
 I also wrote to Robert Parry, the hero who broke the original Iran-Contra scandal, which I consider to be
 the Rosetta Stone and ground zero of modern day GOP corruption.

 I asked him what questions he might like to put to the Bush Family Evil Empire. (my words, not his)

 Not knowing when or if I'd hear back from either of them, I ran the story of Greg's Bush-troubles
 in that issue, and I re-ran the burning "Where was Bush during October Surprise?" question.

 I didn't get a reply from Greg, (at least not that I can find) but I know he's busy trying to save his newspaper
 from the vindictive (murdering?) vendetta put in motion by the old-money, Bush power-grabbing cartel.

 I mention the word "murdering" because that touches on Greg Palast's lawsuit story.

 However I did get this answer from a man I really admire - my good friend Robert Parry of Consortium
 who consistantly writes the best non-fluff, must-read stories on the Bush Family Evil Empire.

 I didn't want to print his reply without his permission.
 Robert Parry isn't a man to jack around.
 I found his letter (with permission) today, buried in the mail.


 Subject: Re: Going to be on C-Span, want to plug you

 Dear Bartcop,

 I guess the interesting point about the Bush family is how they've always slipped
 away from straightforward questions. Once Dana Carvey did an insightful skit
 about the elder Bush explaining to Dubya how the Bushes `slip, we slide.'
 That certainly conforms to the public record.
 They are never held to account and rarely asked direct questions.

 For instance, why didn't Dubya report to duty with the National Guard in Alabama?
 Did he abuse cocaine? What did he mean with that strange construction about being
 able to able to pass his father's tests on employment? How can someone running for
 president just walk away from such questions by telling the press not to ask?
 That would never have worked for Clinton or Gore.

 And for the father, where exactly was he on Oct. 19, 1980?
 Why has he never answered that question?

 Why has it never been put to him directly by anyone in authority?
 Who was the supposed alibi witness that afternoon?

 Why did the Bush administration refuse to release such a simple fact
 that presumably would have disproved the allegation of a trip to Paris?

 Why didn't they let congressional investigators interview the person who
 supposedly was with Mr. and Mrs. Bush, unless the Bushes were afraid
 the alibi witness might say he/she was with Mrs. Bush alone?

 As you know, there are now corroborated accounts, including the Russian
 report to the U.S. Congress, that Bush was in Paris for a meeting with Iranians.

 Why can't Bush just answer a simple straightforward question to put the allegations to rest?
 By comparison, look at the questions put to Clinton.

 Isn't the possibility of treason more significant than consensual sex? Why do the Bushes
 always get preferential treatment from the media and government investigators?

 I guess those are among the questions that might be asked.

 Good luck,
 Bob Parry

 A rare double shot of Chinaco Anejo to Robert Parry
 for busting open the treasonous scam we've come to know as Iran-Contra.

 Be sure to visit

 Rumsfeld - US missile test results likely to be mixed

  Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Monday that the most likely outcome of this week's
  missile defense test will be a mixture of results.

  The Defense Department is scheduled to conduct a test on Saturday to see whether an interceptor missile
  carrying a ``kill vehicle'' launched from Kwajalein Atoll can destroy a modified long-range missile
  with a mock warhead and decoy launched from California, 4,800 miles away.

 "My guess is that the outcome will be unfortunately simplified when it's over
   as either succeeding or not succeeding,'' Rumsfeld said.

  Translation: There's no chance this test will be successful.


 Remember where the Nasdaq was when he had an elected, popular president?
 It was at 4250, back when Wall Street had a president who stood for growth.
 Back when we had a president who believed in paying the bills before we threw the party

 But when Voodoo Junior was installed against the voter's wishes,
 that supply-cide horseshit scared the markets and the free fall continues to this day.

 Oh, God, what did we do to anger you so?
 Please, God, don't punish us this way.
 Please, God, show us your mercy.

"Screw the little people."

 This smirking idiot is overseeing the greatest transfer of wealth in history from the have-nots
 to the have-everythings.  Just because he was born with a silver coke spoon in his nose,
 Smirky thinks those who haven't made it as far as him just haven't tried hard enough.

 Smirk will create a Star Wars board of his rich campaign contributors, and they will be handed
 BILLIONS of taxpayer dollars to line their pockets while ostensibly building a missle defense system
 that we know will not do anything besides piss off our allies and scare our enemies into an arms race
 - and the gelding Democrats will stand idly by while he does it.

 Goodbye peace.
 Goodbye prosperity.

 It was nice knowing you.


 "Bush doesn't have a clue. He's unaware that`we are all living in a global village.
   He is ignorant on the environment."
   -- Robert Redford


Subject: GORE Voters Power The Economy!

"America's 319 largest metro areas accounted for 85 percent of
 the nation's gross domestic product and 84 percent of the country's jobs."

Full Story

Hey, aren't these metro areas the "blue areas" who voted overwhelmingly for AL GORE?
Doesn't that make the Republican areas, with their paltry 15% contribution to the GDP, "FREELOADERS"?

Dewey Pingum

Dewey, yes.

 Blood on his hands
   Iran Contra veteran returns to the White House
     by Eric Alterman

 Full Story

 July 9 —  Of all the events of ex-President Bush’s political career, his participation in
 the Iran-Contra affair proved to be the most ignominious. The discovery by Lawrence Walsh
 that Caspar Weinberger’s diaries implicated Bush himself almost certainly contributed to his defeat
 in the 1992 election. When Bush subsequently pardoned Weinberger and Elliott Abrams, he was,
 in fact, pardoning himself, since Walsh appeared closing in on Bush’s role at the time of the last-minute pardons.

 His son, now president, seems intent on erasing these events from public memory by appointing these
 same figures to high-profile jobs. In doing so, he is staining his own administration with the association
 of some of the most nefarious characters ever to participate in the make of U.S. foreign policy.

 Blood is right, the murdering son of a bitch.
 But the Democrats and the press have orders from Karl Rove NOT to ask any questions about it.
 All print and TV media have been embargoed from this story.
 Only the Online Resistance is allowed to speak the truth about the Bush family Evil Empire

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

  The Arming of Ashcroft's America


 "You can't get to closing this issue without getting all the information out there.
  And you know, is there a better way to do this? Probably so, but we've got what
  we've got, and the fact is, is the information is going to get out eventually anyway.
  Let's just do it all at once, see where the chips fall and then let's get on to making
  a decision of what we're going to do about what we think happened."
    -- Gary Condirt, joyfully playing with Clinton's zipper in 1998

        Gary, Clinton's zipper was never any of your business.
        Clinton didn't mislead police when a woman's life was at stake, like you did.
        The Karma gods are coming to (have sex with) you, Gary.

Clinton on Ulster standby
  from The Guardian

  Full Story

 Bill Clinton has been placed on standby to intervene in the emergency talks on Northern Ireland
 being chaired at a stately home in Shropshire by Tony Blair and his Irish counterpart, Bertie Ahern.
 Downing Street confirmed last night that the former president, who met the two prime ministers at
 Chequers yesterday, would talk to the province's political leaders by phone
 if it was felt that his involvement would be helpful.

 Four years from now, when President Weak & Stupid has been let go,
 (this depends, of course, on Scalia allowing free elections) can you imagine anybody
 on the planet wanting help from the appointed boy king?

 Oh, sure, some oil companies will pay him to handle a Bahrain transaction because
 the Bush Family Evil Empire has a monopoly on drilling rights there, but nobody
 would want former President Cotton Candy's help on anything that required a brain.

 Thanks to Maggie


 I did a phone interview last night.
 Should be up Thursday morning, as part of a much bigger story.

 I got a little animated during the interview (but always polite, no blue words)
 and I wasn't trying to get all Crispin Glover with her, but she asked why there
 were so many anti-Smirk web sites created in the last 6 months, and I just went off.

 "The abortion, going AWOL during wartime, the cocaine/community service question..."

 Polite as a Catholic schoolboy, I nonetheless let a little passion show...
 which brings me to my reason for bringing this up.

 I did a west coast interview, which should be out any time now.
 I'm pretty sure nothing will be distorted.
 I didn't say no to the C-Span thing because it was live and was C-Span.
 An offer from C-Span is pretty clean - and live?  What could they distort?

 So I did this third interview last night, on my cell phone in the car, because of the Thursday deadline.
 I'm very confident I won't be the bad guy in this piece, if for no other reason than they will be
 a whole list of websites in this story. I figure to get a mention in the closing paragraph.

 But, ...will there come a time when some misguided man or woman comes on like a friend,
 and then turns on me like a shark with some whorific their-edit hatchet job on me?

 ha ha

 Can you imagine the fire and heat that'll be in that next issue?

 ha ha

 I kinda wish it would happen sooner, rather than later.
 If some junior reporter tries to pull a Number 6 on me,
 I'll give him/her his/her own icon at the top of the page.

 ha ha

Condit Corner

 Sally Quinn isn't like most reporters.
 For one, most reporters don't blow their boss under the desk.

 Click  Here  to read what Miss Nasty Ass did to the truth last night.

 She and Chris the Screamer should be thrown off the air.

 I found some pictures.
 I have a feeling I was supposed to run  this story  a loooooong time ago...


 Uncle Thomas's Revenge
  Another day, another crook appointed by Weak & Stupid

  Full Story

 Larry Truman lamented about life in Washington that if you want a friend, you have to get a dog.
 But George W. Bush's nomination of former Strom Thurmond aide Terry Wooten to the
 U.S. District Court in Carolina illustrates another, perhaps more useful lesson:
 If you want a friend in Washington who can really help you out someday, you have to do a favor.

I got some flame mail from a guy.
I wrote back and said, "Dude, you got something to say?"

He wrote back:


Subject:  Re: Hey from BartCop

I fail to see how some clown can get on the Internet and tell everyone exactly what he thinks.

I'm sorry.
From whom should I have sought permission to have and publish that opinion?

Of course, no one else's opinion means anything because you know everything and everyone else is wrong.

That's not entirely true.
I have been proven wrong before.

I didn't hear your mouth running when Clinton made an international joke out of the office of the President.

JCD, ...can I call you JCD?  ...I'm not sure I remember that piece of history.
I remember our allies and our enemies wondering aloud why we would attempt to destroy a young,
handsome powerful man for succumming to temptations of the flash, as many, many men have done
for at least four millenia before Christ was born.

He was responsible for more underhanded schemes and led the most corrupt regime of anyone in history.
Where was your mouth then?

I can answer your questions:
My mouth was where it is right now - speaking out.

...but "most corrupt regime?"  Compared to who?

Do you realize that 1952 is the last year that the Republican Party nominated
and elected a president who was not sprayed by the stench of the pardon skunk?

Think about that...

Gerald Ford had to pardon Richard Nixon for his string of crimes,
and George the First had to pardon Saint Reagan's cabinet for their crimes.

You going to try to deny that?

...and you think Clinton's blowjobs were actionable?

Now, he and his criminal wife are going to be brought up on charges for hiding campaign contributions.

ha ha

"going to be brought up on charges?"

We heard that in 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001,
and I'm sure we'll hear it in 2020, 2021, 2022, 2023...

That, obviously, is alright with you, yet you choose to ridicule the current administration.
Apparently, you wanted to see Gore win the election.
After all, I can't blame you for wanting the man who, singlehandedly, invented everything worth inventing.
Talk about someone who has no concept of reality.


JCD, good one.
I, of course, am backed into a corner, and I am at your mercy.
I think you just might be the guy who can teach me that lesson I been needin'.
I think you carry the Republican banner rather well...

I think we should agree to do battle.
I think a live, chatroom debate is in order.
You seemed to have plenty of ammunition - right?

Is Thursday 9 PM CST good for you?
We can do it right here, without interference when only you and I can post.

You up for that?

 Poundstone's drinking led to arrest

 Paula Poundstone has a drinking problem that "clearly had a bearing"
 on her arrest her attorney said in a statement Monday.

 Attorney Steven Cron declined to elaborate on how Poundstone's drinking
 related to the allegations. He said she decided to enter a residential treatment
 program before the investigation began, and was there when arrested June 27.

"After having had a chance to study the details of the case against her,
 I remain convinced that she is not guilty of the lewd conduct charges pending against her."

 ...meaning what?

 I can see how they could stretch a drinking binge into "child endangerment,"
 but how does that square with the lewd molestation charges?

 She was drunk and couldn't control herself?
 That's not an excuse.
 Are you pleading her guilty to the media, Mr. Cron?

 That's not going to wash with anybody, is it?
 I'm not sure you did her any favors with that statement, Mr Cron.

The Bush energy scam
 The public isn't buying the president's energy plan
 by Arianna Huffington

 Full Story

 The recent precipitous drop in George W. Bush's approval rating is by no means
 the worst news for the White House. After all, presidential approval ratings tend
 to have more ups and downs than a roller coaster filled with manic-depressives.

 No, what should have Karl Rove and Karen Hughes waking up in a cold sweat
 in the middle of the night are the recent polls showing not just that the public
 overwhelmingly supports energy conservation efforts over the massive buildup
 of new power plants but that Republicans do as well -- by a ratio of more than 2-to-1.

"George, please, I have a country to run."

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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