Four days left for Julie Hiatt Steele
Don't use the website PO Box
It won't get to her in time.
Send it to her directly:
Julie Hiatt Steele
"President Bush has pledged to make the
White House more energy-efficient -- installing
motion switches for lights and turning off computer monitors at night. And to conserve water,
he's asked his daughters not to flush until they're completely through puking."
-- Bill Maher
Roger Ebert takes a swipe at the Smirk family
George W. Bush was so indifferent to the world that in the years before he became president
he made only two overseas trips, both for business, neither for curiosity. No wonder he wants
to break the missile treaty, alienate NATO, ignore global warming and reinstall Russia and China
as enemies: Those foreign countries scarcely exist in his imagination.
Why go to Australia when you have the Outback Steakhouse right here at home?
Dubya like in bed?
by Jennifer Gardner
Not available because it's too shocking!
Happy Birthday to...
Sandra Bullock is 37 Kate Beckinsdale is 28
Would you like to bitch-slap the Whore Court?
Did you see Jon Stewart's Fifth Anniversary Show?
I love Jon Stewart, and I think he's the Number Two man,
but his anniversary showed sucked really bad.
We were promised clips, and I didn't see any.
Jon's the best, but his staff is the very, very worst.
I don't even know their names, but they are the unfunniest people in the world.
Maybe they're good writers, and maybe he just wants to share the spotlight, but they suck.
I watch Jon from 10:00 to 10:05, where he is great, but when he
goes to his lame staff skits,
I switch over to Howard Stern on E!
Jon, why don't you hire Wanda Sykes?
She's the best, and the best is better than the worst, trust me.
Myth of the Black Republican
by Richard Hourula
From: Bob Witkowski
Subject: A New Reality TV show
I got an idea for a great Reality Show from my
really great pal, George Will, the columnist who's STILL
pissed he missed the sex part of the '60s. He was railing on the other day about America's loss of standards,
morals, blah blah and blaming it all on Liberals (of course) and the Media. Actually the Media that entertains,
not goes after sex scandals 24/7.
Well, he said we shouldn't be surprised if one
day there was a show that
promised a million dollars to the survivor of a round of Russian Roulette.
Great! But I don't think that even the trash that
shows up on Jerry Springer would sign up for that one.
But here's how you could do it cheap and rake in millions of viewers and advertisers.
How about this? Russian Roulette on Death Row!
Each week visit various states' death rows and offer the
occupants the following deal. Since you're going to die anyway, why not go on national TV against another
inmate and play Russian Roulette ala "The Deer Hunter". The loser dies with graphic slo-mo replays of his
skull shattering and brain matter splaying all over a white wall in living color; the winner gets his sentence
commuted to life without parole.
And make sure that the constestants are REALLY
REALLY BAD GUYS.
Make sure when introducing them the host, possibly John Gibson or Sean Hannity, gets down and dirty with
all the lurid details of their crimes. Maybe you could have family members of the victims present and collect
$100,000 if their guy dies. I don't know. I'm just tossing out ideas here. Food for thought.
Think of it. No SAG minimums to the players; no
high cost of those pesky lethat drug cocktails;
all it costs is just one .357 wheel gun (which can be reused by the way) and one cartridge.
I'd better call my old suitemate Dick Ebersol
This idea's too hot to let anyone else in on it.
Remember, you read it here first! It's mine, all mine!
Click Here and we're all caught up
by Notorious B.O.B.
When I was in college, I might've smoked a little pot. (cough)
It's funny, whenever the dealer wanted to make a little extra money,
he'd raise the price and justify it by saying, "Grand jury's in town."
I knew some people who had to go before the grand jury, and it
They said you're not allowed to take the Fifth, so you had to answer.
But the standard drug bravado was, "I'd
never talk. I'd go to prison before I'd be a rat,"
which is real easy to say, but I got to thinking about it.
If I got caught with some weight, and they said,
"Bart, it looks bad for you. You can either testify as to who sold you that stuff
and walk away clean, or you can do 6-10 years at Tucker Prison Farm,"
which isn't exactly like staying at Trump Towers.
There were stories about the "Tucker telephone," where they attach electrical wires to
parts you didn't want electricity to touch, and then they'd dial the phone (old-fashioned
rotary) and that would send the current into your body thru your naughty parts,
so I made a conscious decision to avoid going there at all costs.
But like I said, when people got together to share God's flowers,
the standard bravado
was "I'd never turn rat - never," but I knew I'd rat in a heartbeat if it came down to that.
So, I decided to never put myself in that position. I never had anything on me that would be
more than "first-offense/probation" weight.
Which brings me to Julie Hiatt Steele.
I don't care how big a Democrat you are.
I don't care how loyal you think you'd be.
I don't care if you've met Clinton and respect the hell out of him.
If Kenneth Starr came to you, a single mother, (use your imagination)
"You're going to testify the way I tell you and be convincing or I'll give your son to
the state of Virginia, ruin you financially, and throw your ass in prison for forty years."
...how brave would you be?
Or, sure, just like those college kids talking real tough about
how they never turn rat,
you can SAY you'd hold on to your priciples and stick to the truth and risk everything,
and I mean every goddamn thing, but I think you might be lying to yourself if you do.
But Julie actually did that.
Think of the enormous pressure that she was under - losing her
son and staring at 40 years,
and she told Starr to go fuck himself (my words) and denied Kathleen Willey the credibility
she needed to bring down a president and make a killing with the tabloids and selling her book..
Because the jury didn't buy Hardon Kenny's pack of lies, she's
ONLY losing her home
and her financial security, instead of all that AND her freedom and her son.
As Gene Wilder said in Young Frankenstein, "Could be worse."
So, I sent my check to Julie today.
Jesus, I hope I never get put in the position of risking everything
to take a stand,
so maybe the money I sent her will appease the karma gods for a while.
Of course, you don't have to send Julie any money - it's
not your problem.
But what if it was?
Would you have her courage?
"No, Mr Starr. I refuse to lie for you."
A shot of Chinaco
for Julie Hiatt
...and if your phone rings, don't answer it.
It might be a woman you hardly know saying she needs a small favor.
I was watching the O'Reilly Factor and Bob Dornan
(R-blabbermouth) was on to speak about Condit,
and ended up talking about how evil draft dodger Clinton had no business being commander in chief.
I just thought it funny, considering that has absolutely nothing to do with Chandra Levy.
The media seems more absurd every day. Bush can
do whatever he wants with no negative press;
meanwhile, if a dog craps on O'Reilly's lawn, we get "Clinton should've been tougher on leash laws".
Some liberal media.
DR, just to demonstrate the depths of their whoredom,
they attack Bill Clinton for wanting to stop the Vietnamese meatgrinder,
but they support the snot-nosed, spoiled rich kid who was a wartime deserter,
I Say Bad?
by Christian Livemore
As most of you probably know by now, James Hatfield, the author of a book alleging that George W. Bush
was arrested in Texas for cocaine use and served six months of community service in exchange for having
his record expunged, was found dead in an Arkansas hotel room last week.
The official police report listed the cause of death as suicide pending an autopsy report, but many people are
already crying foul, suggesting instead that Mr. Hatfield was eliminated by agents of the Bush family to
prevent him from discussing new evidence in the re-release of the book, entitled "Fortunate Son."
As forecast here last week...
Poll: Condit Woes Overshadowing Party
People were asked an open-ended question about the messages coming from the two parties.
The Republican message: taxes and
The Democratic messaage: health care and Gary Condit.
Hey, we Democrats don't mind losing the Senate.
We don't mind missing our chance to take back the HOuse.
We don't mind being the party of kidnapping and murder.
...we need to stay loyal to the scumbag who's lying to the homicide detectives.
Plus, this way, Weak & Stupid might win again in 2004,
so let's make staying loyal to our friend Gary our top priority!
psychic accused of consumer fraud
Missouri's attorney general has filed lawsuits against a television psychic hot line for allegedly
violating the state's no-call law and consumer fraud. "Miss Cleo should have seen this coming,"
Attorney General Jay Nixon said. "It doesn't take a crystal ball to realize that ripping off consumers
isn't without consequences." Nixon filed two suits Tuesday against Access Resources Services,
a Florida company best-known for promoting Miss Cleo's tarot psychic reading.
Speaking with a Caribbean accent, Miss Cleo
appears in national television commercials promising
insights into love, money and other personal matters. The lawsuits filed in St. Louis Circuit Court
allege 94 violations of the state's no-call list. The company faces fines of up to $5,000 per violation
if found liable for calling people who requested privacy.
Wait, if fraud is illegal, if it's illegal to rip off consumers
with phoney hocus-pocus,
why are television evangelists immune?
Why are these cheats allowed to "cure sick people" during fund-raisers?
Why isn't Oral Roberts in prison?
Stealing money from the sick and the old is OK if it's in God's name?
"Gary Condit is to Bill Clinton as Mini-Me
is to Mike Myers. The parents of Chandra Levy,
now want the cops to start looking into Condit's brother's behavior. We all know the Roger
Clinton story, so there may be something to learn there."
-- El Slurbo
Hey, Rush, great logic!
Both Democrats (sort of) had affairs, (sort of) and they both have brothers,
so that proves Condit's brother is guilty of murder?
They pay you $285 million for that horseshit?
gamble on energy fails
by Dick Morris
Just as Ronald Reagan began his first term by trying to focus national attention
on the communist threat in Central America, so Bush and Cheney have harped
on the coming energy shortfall since the start of the year. But without an energy
crisis, they find themselves high and dry, having gambled and having lost.
Lacking the spur of unmet energy demand, there is no justification for the Bush/Cheney
effort to move ahead with their efforts to turn around a decade of environmental progress.
"No, I have said that I am not
and I'm having a great time being presi...
...being a first-time senator."
-- Senator Clinton, when asked about a run for the presidency
When Ronald Reagan sold two planeloads of sophisticated Stinger
missles to Islamic Jihad,
then lied to the American people about it on live television, then stonewalled an investigation,
then claimed under oath "I don't know" 57 times about why he did it, he kept his coat on
the whole time because he respected the sanctity of the Oval Office
Happy Birthday to
J-Lo is 31 Laura Leighton is 35 Wonder Woman is 50
If it's critical of Bush, it must come from overseas,
because Karl Rove can't control the press outside of America.
Bush has embarked on a very slippery slope that could potentially put at risk
the future of the citizens of even the most advanced military nation. Mumbling
and grumbling won't keep us safe. It is time to speak out.
"Sometimes boys and girls would rather
watch TV than read.
When your teachers say 'read,' they are giving you pretty damn good advice."
--W, cursing in front of 30 schoolkids at the British Museum
Subject: Letter to the Editor
This got printed in both the Seattle Times and Post-Intelligencer yesterday.
What happened to the massive "energy crisis"
we were supposedly facing, Mr. President?
All that talk of blackouts in California appears to have ceased. And it seems odd that here,
smack dab in the middle of summer, the driving season, gas prices are actually falling.
One might almost think that gas prices were inflated.
Maybe it's just a coincidence, but the "crisis"
seemed to come to a sudden halt right about when
the Democrats took control of the Senate and promised investigations of energy industry practices.
Of course, with the crisis "averted," I'm sure industry lobbyists will question the need for such hearings.
"People are allowed to
protest, but for those who claim they're
speaking on behalf of the poor, for those who claim that
shutting down trade will benefit the poor, they're dead wrong."
-- Our very thoughtful President Weak, Stupid and Heartless
I'm so proud to be an American today...
Wall Street Lashes Out at BuzzFlash.com
Maybe you can judge a political news Internet
site by its critics. In that case BuzzFlash.com
is a beacon of light and truth, considering that the Wall Street Journal called it
"THE SHRILLEST AND MOST DIMWITTED POLITICAL SITE ON THE WEB."
That's not true!
This is typical Whore Street Journal shoddy reporting.
bartcop.com is a lot more shrill and dimwitted than BuzzFlash.com:
Leave it to the WSJournal to screw that up.
Here is the URL to the WSJ's lambasting of BuzzFlash.com:
"Everybody is saying Condit knows more than
he is saying.
You never have to worry about that with George W. Bush, ."
From: Gene Lyons
Subject: Jim Hatfield
to be my week to bicker with Bartcop,
but I sent this to an online friend who was concerned about foul play.
but once I learned about Hatfield's record, I quit paying attention
to him altogether. It helps to have visited a couple of state pens.
Almost everybody inside is innocent, and most are very imaginative.
happy to look at anything, but I don't think it's possible
to drive an otherwise normal person to suicide.
strike me as impossible that Rove could have used Hatfield
in a particularly Machiavellian "dirty trick"--i.e. "leaking" to him info that
would innoculate Bush when Hatfield's past was revealed.
it's the kind of thing that also strikes me as the stuff of crime fiction,
i.e. too clever by half. How could anybody be confident that as loose a cannon as
Hatfield would react as scripted? Far more likely we're seeing evidence of a
delusional system of Hatfield's invention.
I know you're not defending Bush, but we know he did community service
in Houston for an as-yet unidentified crime, right?
I'm not saying the two MUST be related, but I'm saying the press
are guilty of NOT pressing for the reason behind Bush's community service.
He's admitted to three convictions, plus the community service, right?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.