Three days left for Julie Hiatt Steele
Julie Hiatt Steele
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"It's almost immoral and anti-kid if
you don't smoke cigarettes."
-- the pro-cancer Pigboy
I had to turn him off today.
I can take almost anything, but when the vulgar Pigboy starts with the constant repeats,
over and over, constantly, again and again, non-stop, over and over, repeat after repeat,
it just makes me want to hurl so I turned the radio over to classic rock, which is almost
as bad because they won't play anything newer than Aqualung.
That's why Laura and Pigboy have those hundreds of millions of dollars.
It's not their talent, it's just that their only competition is
Britney and N-Sync
Junk swap shows.
When we travel by car, we hear the most
insane junk swap shows.
"I have a transmission for a 61 Chevy that I'll trade for a Kenmore washing machine motor."
Who are those people? And why don't they get jobs?
In today's second hour, El Pigbo was getting his rocks of saying,
"Meh-he-can trucks on the highways and byways."
The stroked out son of a bitch just kept saying that, over and
over, again and again.
To make things worse, (he can always make it worse,) he was doing his voice like Ken Starr,
with that soft, effeminate whisper, and I can't take that. I can't take it for even five minutes.
Sometimes I wonder how Susan McDougal and Julie Hiatt Steele could stand just being
in a room with that dim-witted, hall-monitor-all-his-life gospel caroling fraud.
...and don't forward that to Rush.
He'll do the Starr voice again Monday if he hears that somebody hated it.
Condit Interviewed a 4th Time
Clueless DC cops, this time with bungling FBI profilers present,
Mr. Guilty a fourth time and tried to get him to tell them where Ms. Levy is
Police Sgt. Joe Gentile (great name, Joe) said Friday that Condit met with bumbling
investigators for hours Thursday night. No doubt, his fifth interview will be in August.
Am I more stupid or more guilty?
Click Here for today's entertainment link
I'm expecting some reviews of Planet of the Apes, so if
you see it,
take mental notes and send your review to Marty at this link and she'll post them.
article on how John Edward tricks sheep into thinking
that he's actually talking to their dead relatives.
Don't get me wrong, Edward is the best I've ever seen,
but he's about as legitimate as Resident Weak & Stupid.
An Iran Contra veteran returns to the White House
"I can do anything and the
press will remain silent."
When ex-President Bush pardoned Weinberger and his fellow Iran-Contra conspirator, Elliott Abrams,
he was, in fact, pardoning himself, since Walsh appeared closing in on Bush’s role at the time of the
last-minute pardons. His son, now president, seems intent on erasing these events from public memory by
appointing these same figures to high-profile jobs. In doing so, he is staining his own administration with
the association of some of the most nefarious characters ever to participate in making U.S. foreign policy.
Subject: Why are you publishing Tom Tommorow?
Bartcop, you do realize, don't you, that Tom Tommorow
was an ardent Ralph
Nader supporter and continues to occasionaly run cartoons implying that there
would be no real difference if Gore had got elected...oops, ...sorry,
Al DID get elected, I mean if he hadn't had the election stolen from him.
Seeing "This Modern World" cartoons that blast
Bush just makes me even angrier.
If Tomorrow would admit his error, I wouldn't mind, but he and his ilk still won't admit that
there is a huge difference in where our country is headed since the chimp got selected over Gore,
something that would not have happened -- even with the Supreme Court thugs and Florida
shenanigans -- if several million Americans hadn't thrown their votes away on the egotistical Nader.
Jim, I understand what you're saying.
Human nature being what it is, these people aren't likely to admit
that their fuck-up put Weak & Stupid in the White House
I've said I liked Tom Tomorrow a lot more before he turned on Clinton/Gore,
but, like Dennis Miller, Chris Hutchins and Mo Dowd, he sometimes has a nice zinger.
We're going to need the Greens next year and in 2004, so let's not piss
them off too much...
Let's give them a chance to correct their mistake.
Recently, I printed a deal that explained how to get around web
so you can read bartcop.com from right-wing workplaces.
Could that person write back, or if somebody remembers where it
tell me, and I'll put a permanant link on the front page.
I need a staff.
Subject: Tequila Tips >more
When I took the Tequila Distillery tour
the last time I was in Puerto Vallarta,
they talked about how to drink it properly as well.... they suggested to EXHALE FIRST,
then take a small sip, roll it aound your tongue, swallow, then INHALE.
You will get flavor all the way down your throat, and heat into your head.
I've done both, inhale first or exhale first.
Both are awesome, yet a bit different.
Tally, tried both.
I hate to say it, but my way works a whole lot better, 5-10 times better.
Put two drops on your tongue.
Then raise your tongue to the roof of your mouth - that will force
the drops sideways,
which will coat your tongue with flavor, but the tequila will mostly be gone because
you're spreading two drops over six square inches of tongue.
Keeping your mouth closed, s-l-o-w-l-y exhale
thru your nose.
Ohhh, that's so nice.
from Volume 114 - Tabloid Nation
Rush has been attacking Oprah all week.
You'd think a lying, nazi whore,
with 20,000,000 listeners,
would be a champion of free speech,
Oprah is "guilty."
Because she's black, stupid.
She's also a woman, so she's double-guilty.
"Oprah is hiding behind her staff, trying to
blame her producers for producing her show,"
he whined Wednesday.
...when Rush called Chelsea "The White House
Dog," back before "Must Eat TV" fell
to market forces, do you remember what his excuse was for slurring an innocent 12 year-old?
"It's not my fault! I was telling an innocent
story about a 'White House dog,' when
an unnamed staffer put Chelsea's picture on the screen, AGAINST MY WILL!" he swore.
"You can't blame me for that.
BLAME MY STAFF!!"
...Rush, if you weren't in on the joke,
in you were innocent of this horrible personal slur,
why even bring up the subject of "the White House dog?"
It kills me that ditto-monkeys are soooo blind...
by my good friend The Daily Brew
So you never knew love
Until you crossed the line of grace
And you never felt wanted
'Til you had someone slap your face
So you never felt alive
Until you'd almost wasted away
You had to win
You couldn't just pass
The smartest ass
At the top of the class
Your flying colors
Your family tree
And all your lessons in history
Get up off your knees
So you never knew
How low you'd stoop to make that call
And you never knew
What was on the ground 'til they made you crawl
So you never knew
That the heaven you keep, you stole
Your Catholic blues
Your convent shoes
Your stick-on tattoos
Now they're making the news
Your holy war
Your northern star
Your sermon on the mount
From the boot of your car
Get up off your knees
Leave me out of this please
So love is hard
And love is tough
But love is not
What you're thinking of
Down the drain
Shards of glass
Splinters like rain
But you could only feel
Your own pain
Talk getting nowhere
Are we just starting again
Get up off your knees, yeah
So love is big
Is bigger than us
But love is not
What you're thinking of
It's what lovers deal
It's what lovers steal
You know I've found it hard to receive
'Cause you my love
I could never believe
Have you been to Bushwatch lately?
Click on mini-Smirk
They have a whole section on Jenna getting the "E-Z"
for violating her court-order with another alcohol infraction,
instead of the harsh penalties her daddy signed into law.
Those laws are for little people, not rich, important people.
After all, the Bush Family Evil
Empire is royalty,
and they laws don't apply to them.
Lanny the GOP contributes...
Subject: Jon Stewart's Staff Sucks?
Hey, I greatly disagree.
I think the two Steves, Mo Rocca, the guy that
does the movie reviews,
the "back in black" guy, and the blonde woman are all great.
The new woman they hired, who did the Conan thing
last night, sucks.
I wrote that sloppily.
I like the 'Back in black," guy, too, but the others just don't float the boat.
We then must agree to disagree.
What could be better than http://www.christianlogic.com/?
Subject: Ask Bartcop!
Which of Weak & Stupid’s advisors will be
the first to leave?
Condi, Rumsfeld, or Powell?
You could run a pool…
The participants would have to pick one candidate and the date they
will resign, and/or the reason each will cite as the excuse to cut and run.
For an added bonus, we could parlay the above
with the over/under of Uncle Dick’s
next chest pain/episode/incident/heart attack/surgery.
The winner could get a Corvette!
What do you think?
Your #1 fan from CT,
PS. One random thought…why is it so important
that Cheney rush back to work after heart surgery?
I had my appendix out and it took a few days just to feel good enough to feel rotten.
Same with my hernia operation…and each of those procedures had nothing to do with my ticker.
Why does Liberal Media not ask that of the appointed one?
What’s the hurry? What is Rove afraid of?
Seeing that the "energy crisis" never materialized,
couldn't the old guy chill for a few days after doctors attach instruments to his heart?
Keep up the great work!
Joe Tom, my money's on Powell.
He's going to get tired of being "Smirk's boy" real quick.
Smirk does what Uncle Dick and Karl Rove say, not what Powell says.
Cheney had to hurry back from surgery because who else can write Smirk's script?
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.