Julie Moves Out
Julie Hiatt Steele
"I know: 'Guns Don't Kill People.' But
I suspect that they have something to do with it.
If you point your finger at someone and say, 'Bang, bang, you're dead,' not much actually happens."
Stroke Me, Stroke Me
"If I was a cat, I'd say 'Thank you'
when it was time to go to the vet."
-- Pigboy, opening the second hour with interesting insights
into his current medical condition.
Job Seekers Finding Difficult Times
You never saw headlines like that until Smirk promised to
"change the direction this nation is heading."
Kevin Harrington has recruited for a San Francisco placement agency for ten years,
and he cannot remember the climate being worse for job seekers.
The agency has stopped interviewing for
summer employment, because it already has books
filled with names of applicants who cannot be placed. Harrington said that the job market,
which has been slowing since December, has crumbled in just the last few weeks.
I'm here to increase oil profits,
not to help the little people.
of Engagement feedback
by Shaun McElhenny
Today in History
30, 1975: Jimmy Hoffa went to lunch in suburban Detroit.
His doggy bag has never been found.
During World War II, the USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine.
Out of 1,196 men, 880 did not survive the shark-infested waters.
With my limited knowledge of World War II,
I know the two darkest stories were Bataan and the Indianapolis.
I hope David at Project 60 does specials on both when the time comes.
Subject: Does Gore + Nader = win?
I didn't expect as much E-mail
as I got for writing "Greens Aren't the Problem"
but it was a pleasant surprise. First I must compliment you on the caliber of your readers.
They are an intelligent and articulate group, and down to the last polite, even those who disagreed.
That's never happened before...
The problem then is with the Democratic
party and Gore. Why does an
articulate well educated man who just finished CO-chairing 8 years of
unprecedented economic growth end up in a dead heat with a moron?
Wait a minute - YOU and the Greens chose Bush over Gore.
YOU and the Greens voted for the moron, not the Democrats.
You just answered your own question.
Of course all this acrobatic vote switching, besides
making me feel good,
really did nothing for the final outcome. That final outcome rested entirely
on the Democratic party and their weak candidate.
One thing tho, you've lost your right to complain.
If we lose Roe v Wade, or Smirk starts drilling Alaska, or gas goes to $3 a gallon
when Condit costs us the House next year, you'll have to remain silent because
YOU and the Greens could've chosen Gore but you chose the moron, instead.
Help with the fight - support bartcop.com
Vic the Racist
I don't think I've mentioned this before, but Vic is almost a
He's a big fan of Emeril Lagasse, and he's got all the spices and all the tools.
He has three Hasty Bake ovens, and he cooks constantly.
He's always bringing food to work. Hams that he smoked,
roast beef, salads, chicken etc.
He makes 12-ounce hamburgers of ground beef and buffalo that are to die for.
Koresh, his macaroni and cheese is the best I've ever had. He bakes pies and stuff, too.
We eat better than any other car dealership in Oklahoma, guaranteed.
None of the people who work here gets better food at home.
Why do I mention this?
Last week, he was giving me a bad time about Ted kennedy "murdering" Mary Jo Kopechne,
so I told him today was my birthday (it's not) and he brought a six pound roast with all the trimmings
(potatos*, carrots etc) and a hueueueuge ham and a cherry pie - all for me to take home.
He may be politically crazy, but he's a nice guy and a helluva cook.
Subject: Katherine Harris
I guess everyone has the right to opinions, and
for them to be stated. It should be noted
when one tried to obfuscate facts, however, and a fact is that Katherine Harris upheld
state law by doing what she did on any particular date doing so.
You and liberals everywhere hate the fact that:
1}She rebuked intemperate liberal state judges.
2} She is a woman, and attractive, and is NOT liberal.
3} that she beat your ass with FAIRNESS (INCLUDING Xtra recounts).
Katherine Harris certified a "quick count" before the votes were counted in a supertight race.
You may be techincally correct in the legal sense, because it was her
decision to make
and the governor was certainly not going to overrule her and let the guy with the most votes win.
Did you say she was attractive?
“It’s kind of scary with all the problems
we’ve had in Palm Beach County. Even a dog can vote.”
-- Wendy Albert, owner of Cocoa Fernandez, a poodle who has been registered to vote
in the county since July 11. Officials suspect Albert registered the dog under her address.
"To prove a point, somebody in Florida
successfully registered their poodle to vote.
Katherine Harris is furious.
She said, "If any bitch is gonna make a mockery of Florida election laws, it's gonna be me."
Subject: Tiger Woods
I read recently that Tiger has taken up with Gabrielle
Reece. Some Bartcop hex.
He's already got more money than several small countries, even if he never wins
another golf tournament he's going to mentioned in the same tones as the big boys,
and now.....now......he's keeping company with Gabrielle Reece.
Man, would I love to get on the Bartcop hex radar screen.
Your momma wears combat boots.
core problem of American political life
by Eric Arnow
So Nixon and Kissinger went on to kill another million Vietnamese, 500,000 Cambodians directly
through our bombing, and indirectly, destroying that country, thus paving the way for the Khmer Rouge
to kill another 2 million Cambodians. Well, we did finally nail Nixon. But when Carter got elected,
he was immediately met with the same kind of Right Wing Buzz Saw that Clinton got, and was given
the "coup de grace" by the Reagan Bush treason with the Iranian hostage deal. Then there was Bush's
dirty tricks with the Willie Horton ads that did in Dukakis.
So one Johnson, one Carter and two Clinton elections are really
the only free and fair elections we've had since 1960.
Vieques Voters Want the Navy to Leave Now
"Residents of Vieques, P.R., voted more than
two to one in favor of demanding the
immediate departure of the United States Navy, says the New York Whore Times.
This can't be!
Senator Jim Pissquik (R-Knuckledrag) said those people wanted
to be bombed.
He said he talked to them personally.
Happy Birthday to...
Vivica Fox is 37 Jamie Pressly is 24 Christine Taylor is 30
"We had to destroy the village in order
to save it."
-- US officer, Vietnam, 1968
"We have to destroy America in order
to save her." --
-- Green Party, USA, 2000
Condit: A Panicked Pay Phone Call from Cavern Country
This is an e-mail somebody sent. That means it might be true, it might not be true.
The Bushes and their real family
Thanks to gullyfoyle
by Mo Dowd - Today, she hates Smirk
Was Apetown Washington?
Was the Planet of the Apes the Bush White House?
Hmmmm, so W. is President Primate.
"A trillion dollars would be a stack
of $1,000 bills 67 miles high."
President Reagan, Feb 18, 1981, warning Congress that the national debt is approaching $1 trillion.
Gee, Red Ink!
How high is 4.6 trillion dollars of debt?
Subject: Condit's Wife's furious phone call with Chandra
I think I've seen this movie already -
Remember the 1990 film Presumed Innocent
with Harrison Ford?
(spoilers ahead - but it was 11 years ago, so who cares.)
He plays the DA who was having an illicit affair
with co-worker Greta Scacchi,
who turns up murdered after she tries to break off the relationship.
It turns out that his wife Bonnie Bedelia was the one who offed her.
Is this a remake or Karl Rove's version?
I was first to suggest the wife
I got a Danny Gatton CD
California to Bush - Drop Dead
President, It's Time For A Real News Conference
by Helen Thomas
It's true you have shared the press conference platform with your foreign hosts
on the last two summit trips to Europe. But American reporters at those sessions
were limited to three or four questions. That restriction simply doesn't allow us
to explore issues that are long overdue for examination.
Helen, did you get Mr. Rove's permission to write this?
You were kinda tough on Ol' Smirky there, weren't you?
You know he can't hold a live press conference with follow-up
How's Uncle Dick supposed to slip him the answers if he's already on stage?
...and we haven't even talked about making fun of the mentally retarded.
Dear Jim Kelly,
I saw your missive posted at Bart-cop.com about censoring Tom Tomorrow.
As an unrepentant Nader voter and fervent Dumbya disrespecter I was a bit taken
aback by your attack on T.T. and your apparent willingness to blame progressives
for the Dumbya debacle. Humbly, I offer the following editorial from The Nation for
your consideration. And, please, can't we on the left just get along...there's work to be done!
Thank you for your time.
Excelsior, David Coyote
What I Voted
by Tim Robbins
In mid-June Tim Robbins received The Upton
Sinclair Award from the
Liberty Hill Foundation. Following is an edited version of his remarks. --The Editors
About a month ago in a New York theater, I
was approached by an agitated older couple.
"We hope you're happy now," they said. "With what?" I said, suspecting the answer they gave.
"Your Nader gave us Bush."
Now, this wasn't the first time since the election
that I had been attacked by irate liberals
who saw my support of Ralph Nader as a betrayal, as blasphemy, as something
tantamount to pissing on the Constitution.
It was not easy to support Nader. In no uncertain
terms the message sent to us by
colleagues and business associates was that our support of Nader would cost us.
Will it? I don't know.
...it went on and on.
The e-mail was 13K, and it's the edited version of his remarks.
I read thru it, (and I blame the nuns for this) but who can stay awake that long?
Why I voted for Nader requires an answer of that length?
I like Tim Robbins, and I think he made a mistake with Nader, but I'll
still see his
movies and I damn sure wouldn't insult anything worse than his lack of brevity.
Meanwhile, can anybody explain Nader in two paragraphs?
Power part 2
by Isaac Peterson
William Kennedy Smith May Run for Office
William Kennedy Smith, who was acquitted, is quietly
running for a seat in Congress from Chicago's North Side.
No, it can't be...
Rush will spend all day re-living testimony from the rape trial.
William, can't you at least wait until they find Chandra's body?
Subject: Rebuttal to Liberal Media rant
This "ditto-head" has an answer for you...
I just got done reading your interesting theory on the so called liberal slant
in the "media" and at the end of your aurgument you stated:
> There is no "Exhibit B," because there are so few liberal voices on
> The closest you can get is Eleanor on McLaughlin or Geraldo, but there is barely
> a liberal whisper on television, even though there are DOZENS of right-wing,
> Smirk-apologist shows whose livelyhood is lying about liberals.
Now my "rebuttal" to this aurgument is if you
are suppose to debunk the liberal "media" myth why
are you concentrating on only television? Media does include print and radio (not just "talk" radio either).
Sean, first, thanks for the civil tone.
Most rebuttals are too hostile to print.
I concentrated on TV because that's where most people get most of their "facts."
I just find it curious that with all of the typing
you did you did not once offer any evidence
as to why you believe all of these people would run such a report or why CBS and CNN
are only moderatly bias and Fox, ABC, NBC are right-wing controlled.
Sean, I know people hate it when a question gets answered with a question,
Why does every book of Clinton slurs shoot to the top of the Times Best Seller's list
but allegations of serious crimes by the Bush Family is met with yawns. Rush would say,
"because all the Clinton crimes are true and all the Bush crimes are made up,"
but we both know that's not true.
Righties buy scandal books, listen to scandal radio and watch scandal
cable TV shows.
I can't explain why.
Furthermore you never once addressed print or
radio in your argument which is sadly liberal controlled.
I may not have a clue as to what "ditto-head" means to your small circle of friends
but I hope I shined some light on your aurgument's fallacy.
Sean, did you not have time to make that list, the one that shows all
the left-leaning print
and radio stations vs. the hardly-any right-wing papers and radio stations?
If you get a chance, I'll print it.
Shhhh.... can you hear it?
You have to listen real good...
There, ...did you hear it that time?
It's Las Vegas ...calling me west.
Subject: 1,000,000 hits heh?..I think not ,try 150,000 tops
Your counter is rigged.It adds 2-4 hits for every
You never had 1000000 hits Bartfag!
And no,you do not get 7,000-8,000 a day.'Fraid not ,no way.
You have a defective counter plus we figure you
are padding it with your
display number setting at ultimate counter.com We figure you for padding
100,000 hits at least.Probably not all at once but by the way your such an
anal whore over how many hits you brag about ,its fairly obvious ,you shoot
a few extra here and there pretty often.
You never had 1000000 hits!
Check your counter out!
Links I found in an e-mail from May
Bushwacking in the Netherlands
Bush Stole Tennessee as well
by RB Ham
Just last year the Pope was heard to talk in more Hermetic and Gnostic tones when it comes to
the reality of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory, Limbo etc. He talked of Hell as being a state of mind,
and that we had free choice to create it. He steered away from the Dogmatic, counting saints on
pinheads Philosophy, instead preferring to talk ecumenically of reaching out to all faiths.
Go JP II!
Incredible, considering the strain he must put himself under just to keep going.
Political Uses of Moving On
by Todd Gitlin
Moving on is also selective. During the many months of political battle about Whitewater,
Travelgate, Filegate, Paula Jones and, not least, Monica Lewinsky, Democrats called upon
the Republican-dominated Congress to move on. The Web site moveon.org sprang up,
collecting hundreds of thousands of on-line signatures, to lobby Congress to censure
President Bill Clinton and then get back to the nation's business.
Today, when the subject is the questionable
Bush win in Florida,
some Democrats disdain the Republicans' determination to move on.
This guy is good.
Subject: Planet of the Apes Review
Noon Friday i took my five year old to the theatre
to see Panet of the Apes.
He loved the movie and i thought it was okay. i could go into a serious
socio-historical analysis of the movie with an emphasis on the tropological
disintegration of the critical bite of the original movie, as well as its racial
and class undertones, but that would just be an exercise in mental masturbation.
There was one thing that made me want to see the
movie again and purchase it
on DVD: i would have paid twice the price of admission had i known that
Chuck Heston was going to die in the movie.
Seeing Heston croak is well worth the $12 Jake and i paid.
John, I keep hearing the same joke - that Chuckles is the only ape without a gun.
...they are talking about the movie, right?
classic Margaret Shemo from December
that never got published (or read) till today
Subject: Clinton's Pardons
Is that the "religiously insane" can't count, or is it that they can't, or won't, tell the truth?
From the December 23, 2000 Washington Post:
"Holiday season pardons are a long-standing
tradition for presidents.
On Christmas Eve 1992, for example, President George Bush pardoned former
defense secretary Caspar W. Weinberger and five others after they had either
been indicted or convicted in the Iran-contra affair [arms were sold to a terrorist
nation in exchange for a batch of hostages, and the proceeds were used to fund
a group of rebels which Congress refused to support]. . . .
All told, Clinton has now granted 255 pardons
and commuted 25 sentences
in nearly eight years in office. By contrast, Bush pardoned 74 people and
commuted three sentences in four years in office. Ronald Reagan issued
393 pardons and commuted 13 sentences during his two terms, while Jimmy
Carter pardoned 534 people and commuted 29 sentences during his [single] term."
So, Bill Clinton has pardoned FEWER people than
either Ronnie or Jimmy Carter.
And Bill Clinton has NOT pardoned anyone who could threaten to give evidence
against him -- for example, testimony that he had lied in claiming he was "out of the loop"
when crimes were committed.
Tally Briggs / Actress at Large
and a boatload of new cartoons
Subject: Who owns the media?
>The Republican hate machine is owned by three entities:
>Rush, the vulgar lying Nazi Pigboy
>Rupert Murdoch, the Australian gossip rag kingpin who hounded Princess Diana to her death
>The Moonies (Bush Family Evil Empire) who own the Washington Times
You left out the Clear Channel bunch. They've
pretty much taken over radio,
they are scary as hell, and they are right-wingers. Rush is on their team.
You are correct!
But Clear Channell is really just a subsidiary of Pigboy Inc.
They also own Laura's soul and Mancow and someone else - Harvey the horse molester, maybe?
Hey, Mr. Ed, do you know if Paul Harvey is owned by Pigboy Inc?
Club Needed Here
by Rayne Poussard
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.