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Volume 556 - Rush on Delay
August 14, 2001 


"What would I have to give you to call the race for Bush?
   --  GE CEO Jack Welch to Tim Russert on election night,
        desperately trying to get Bush into the winner's column

 A Time to 'Earn This'
   by Robert Parry

 Click  Here

 Is Bob Perry the best writer on the www?
 This is required reading if you want to know how & why the media turned whore.

 Debate Update

 That Steve guy who dared me to debate?
 It's been called off - by me.

 As you know, I can listen to Laura for three hours, then Paul Harvey,
 then the vulgar Pigboy for three hours, but Steve is too much.

 Remind me next time I ask someone to debate, that Steve got to me.
 He answered my rebuttal such idiotic crap that I'd rather let him 
 say he won that try to muddle thru his non-answers.

 Remember the BartCop Quiz where I say if you answer the question, 
 you'll be forced to agree with me? Steve won't answer the questions.

 ...but of course, he brought up the Clinton body count.

 You remember that debate we did a while back when the guy insisted 
 I answer, "Why is there air?"  He refused to go on until I answered that.
 Steve reminded me of him.   Imagine what it's like to debate a guy who
 answers "hee haw"  to every question you put to him.

 No matter what I say, he goes off in some mis-direction. 
 This is issue 556, and if you read the back issues you'll see hundreds of 
 mini-debates, but Steve is too much to handle.
 He makes Lanny look part sane, which I would've thought impossible..

 OK, Steve, you win.
 I can't handle a conversation with you.


Subject: More Green Stuff 

I think you're take on the Green Party ios the absolute WRONG way to go
about getting back that vote.  I became a Green AFTER the coup. 

I think calling Nader a fraud is pretty ridiculous.  They guy has spent more
of his life trying to help consumers than most people do eating. 

I haven't made the connection till now, but Nader and Smirk have that in common.
Since Smirk was the one-percent owner of a baseball team, and his daddy bought him
a governor's seat, he thinks the least we should reward him with is the presidency.

And Ralph hates big banks and big money and wrote a book on Corvairs 30 years ago,
so the least we should do is make him president.

Hell, at least Bush won two elections, Nader hasn't won any.

Let me try it this way:
I realize politics isn't boxing, but do you think a guy who's never been in the ring
should be able to fight the heavyweight champ for the world title?
Or should he have a few fights, get ranked, and then challenge the champ?

Wait, let me guess:
Being in the system makes everyone but Nader corrupt, right?

Whatever message the Greens want to get out won't make it if Nader is your spokesman.
What part of three percent is hard to figure out?

I grow weary of the Nader debate.
We're not going to change each other's minds.
I'm going to vote against Bush in 2004, you're going to for for him.
He could win again.

Fish vs Firefighters

Remember when the flaming Nazi gasbag was screaming that the "environmental-wackos"
put fish life over human life and just sat there and let those brave firemen die?
He was just being Rush - the lying sack of shit.

I got this from an excellent anti-Rush site: Rush vs Reality 2001

Click  Here

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service policy expressly states,
"Under no circumstances should a Service representative obstruct an 
emergency response decision....where human life is at stake." In the case 
of the Thirtymile Fire, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and National Marine 
Fisheries Service officials were informed of Forest Service procedures to 
suppress ongoing fires on July 10 during an interagency briefing on local fires 
at the Wenatchee/Okanagan National Forest Office in Wenatchee, Washington. 
The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and the National Marine Fisheries Service 
did not impose any limitations on the effort to fight the Thirtymile Fire. 

This page is what I'd be doing if I had a trip-digit I.Q.

Anyway, Rush knew he was a lying sack of shit when he screamed about this.
Nobody in America would trade 4 firefighters for a handful of fish.

He knows that, but he's not fun unless he's saving America from a non-existent threat.
Who'd listen to the vulgar Pigboy if he said, "It's a shame those firemen died?"

He can't attack Hillary if brave men die, so he fabricates horseshit.
That's how Republicans operate.

That's why he's known at The Vulgar Pigboy, because he gets paid millions
to lie to the braindead sheep who don't know the joke is on them.

Isn't it sad about Tom Tomorrow?
I used to like him a lot, ...before he turned.

I'm so old, I remember when he was anti-GOP.
But now, he's carrying George Bush's water, attacking the Democrats.

That's sad - losing people to the dark side...

James Woods, 
Dennis Miller, 
Bob Torrecelli
George Steffie Judas, 
DeeDee Myers,
Pat Caddell,
Gary Condit, 
Rush Feingold,
Juan Williams,
Mara Liason,
Michael Moore, 
Dennis Hopper,
Zell Miller,
Pat Moynihan,
Ben Knighthorse Campbell,
Bob Kerrey,
Ricky Martin...

...and then a funny guy like Tom Tomorrow takes his talents and asks,
"Mr. Rove, where can I be the most helpful?"   Koresh, that's sad.

What's that saying about as you get older you stop listening to your heart and 
you go with the cold, hard cash because you gotta think of Number One first? 

...that's sad.

Bum Stomping and Other Repugnican Sports

 Click  Here

 Oh, I feel awful right now...

 Vic the Racist spent ten hours on his Hasty Bake yesterday, cooking beef brisket.
 The meat is so tender, when you stick a fork in it, it splits like the Red Sea.

 Here at work, he goes crazy 2-3 times a week preparing food - fine food.
 Vic is 57, divorced, and has nothing to do but watch Emiril Lagasse on the Food Channel
 and experiment with different recipes for meats, salads and deserts.
 This time, it was extra fine brisket on a sour dough bun with chips and cold slaw.
 I'm not much on eating grass, but I gave that brisket hell.

 Then, when it's over, he brings out desert.
 Koresh, it was some kind of homemade banana cake with vanilla bean ice cream
 and strings of caramel x's allllll over it. I thought I was gonna die!

 So I ate it, and I feel real bad right now...



"President Bush is on what you call a working vacation. 
  Aides say Bush will read several mystery novels while on vacation. 
  I'm sure any book Bush picks up is a mystery!"
  --Jay Leno 


Subject: Re: "Spineless Democrats" 

Thanks very much for taking the time to respond. 

I am not at all willing to let the Republicans appoint the next six justices. 
I happen to be a Democrat who doesn't happen to believe that the current 
sad state of this country is Ralph Nader's fault. 

I realize you and I (and many others) will never agree on this, I just wanted 
to give you a little jab about your frustration with the Democratic Party. 

By the way, who do you think is going to give this impassioned "Patton-type" speech? 

I'll give that son of a bitch.
There's no way any US Senator would sit there and take it,
but then again they might, because they're spineless, but I'd do it. 

Spineless Democrats letting the Republicans roll them for the next few years, 
Nader or no Nader, will have the same effect. 

Stay focused on the real enemy. 
Fight the good fight.


M. Kircher

From: (withheld)

Subject: Rush on Delay

No, it's not a sex story.

Last night we had some of the bachelor boys over for dinner...
Having been a 'token' in more than a few jobs, and Darral being in the same line 
of work, we've encountered lots of guys who tend to get married late, if at all---
Not implying that they're gay, but, more like tech geeks, and mighty welcome in these parts.

Daryl (real name) was here.  Daryl is the chief engineer at K??? in (our town) 
K??? is owned (ultimately) by CBS.  It has Howard in the morning, 
and Leykis in the afternoon.  Lots of testosterone.

The hot gossip with Daryl was about how most radio shows have a 5 to 7 second
audio delay....but, currently, with Pigboy it's a full two minutes!
He also was kind enough to point out that with digital editing, 
that's more than enough time to alter what has been said.

One of the other bachelor boys (Darrell - real name), who currently works 
audio for Faux, piped up with how that was an unheard of amount of time.

All of us, being familiar with timing, to the fractions of a second, nodded in agreement, 
toasted our brave new world, and made faces like someone farted in church.

Both are 'on the record', but paranoid. 
Play with the names, if used, please.

Don't know if you can use it, but, it made me smile through all the damn dishes.

thanks, bc

I don;t think the new format's gonna make it. 

Oh, I like the smoothness of the look, but it's too damn jumpy. 
I tried to correct the ; in "don't" and it ran me all the way to the top 
of the page and now I gotta scroll down and hell, ...I got shit to do. 

Koresh, when I put the mouse somewhere, it jumps all up 
to the logo at the top of the page for no damn reason. 
It's real jittery, too. 

Hell, it did it just then - did you see it? 
Did you just see that? 

It's real jittery and spas-happy, too. 
Maybe there's a way to make it hold still, 
but life is very short, and there's no time, 

...Christ, it did it again...

 Gens, you're my man, but make it stop... 

 Happy Birthday To...

           Halle Berry is 33                              Catherine Bell is 33
   Did you know she was Miss World?                             "All rise" on  J.A.G. 

                                                  Born on the same day? 
                                 God was making few mistakes 33 years ago.

           Susan St. James is 55                   Emmanuelle Beart is mas fina
           Tartikof  &  Wife                               Mission Impossible Frenchie 

 David Crosby (1941) 
 Magic Johnson   (1959) 
 Steve Martin  (1945) 
 Danielle Fernande Schuelein Steel (1947)


 "Did anyone see the Miss Universe Pagent? 
   Miss China took apart a spy plane and put it back together for her talent."

Sen. Combover accused of abusing his office

Click  Here

A retired U.S. Army general has accused U.S. Sen. Bob Smith of interfering
in a criminal probe and other abuses of office in his zeal to protect an
anti-satellite defense program and a contractor whose top executives
contributed heavily to his failed 1999 Presidential bid.


 Here's what happened:

 I've been having a lot of fun with this new birthday page I found. 
 Not only is it an excuse to run some smiling faces, but it's also pregnant with comedy, 
 (sometimes it's a false pregnancy) and it's something besides 24/7 politics. 

 So the only people I'd heard of on Sunday's list were Ben Affleck, Rebecca Gayheart 
 and Dominique Swain, the little girl who played Lolita
 Ben and Rebecca have had a tough 30 days, and I was looking for a theme. 
 I decided on a "down on their luck" thing, but I couldn't think of a reason 
 for Dominique Swain to be depressed, so I did a "no longer desirable" joke. 

 ...and the reason I bring it up is - nobody wrote to complain! 

 It's the first sex joke I've ever done that didn't get any complaints! 
 Maybe that means people might actually get the idea that it was a joke, but, 
 more likely all the feminists and the Ed Begley's left for smarter pages. 

 Either way, ...I can't believe nobody wrote., 
...on the heels of that... 
...along those same lines... 

 Here's another thing to not write about. 
 Everybody knows Lanny, the most disturbed of all my stalkers, right? 
 Well, Lanny may be a troglodyte with politics, but he's a week ahead of me 
 when it comes to creating digital sound files. 

 The four minute rant from the premier of BartCop Radio was preserved. 
 With the IQ that I have, I made that 4 minute rant into a monsterous 7 meg file. 
 (My buttons are set for live-Zeppelin-concert levels.) 

 But Lanny the Stalker took the time to download that rant, (thanks, Buddy) 
 and he shrunk it like crazy and added Hitler's voice to the background.
 So what you have is my nothing-to-brag-about BartCop Radio premier rant
 with what sounds like traffic or wind in the background. 

 Trust me, Lanny wants you to hear this. 
 He wants you to hear this more than anything in his current life. 
 If I play it here, he might stop sending it to everyone who's ever contributed to the page,
 ...and besides, ...he's shortened the download time by 95 percent.

 Lanny, you da man! 

 This is not something important.
 This is the first thing I recorded for BartCop radio. 
 Yak, yak, yak, you're not missing a thing...

 But if you had the good sense to skip downloading the huge 7 meg nonsense file,
 this 400K file will only take a minute, plus you get the Hitler edit for no charge. - where Republicans produce comedy for our enjoyment... 

 Click  Here

 audio provided by Lanny the Stalker


"Fuck you, man, any moron with a pack of matches can start a fire. 
  Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial. Mass genocide is the most 
  exhausting practice one can engage in, to soccer." 
  -- Loki, "Dogma" 

 BartCop Dodging a Debate?

 Click  Here

Toon by Wizard of Whimsy


 "All of Washington is shut down. Congress is in recess. 
   Bush is gone.  Cheney is gone. It is so lonely in DC the NRA 
   and tobacco companies are just handing money to each other."
    --  Jay Leno 


Subject: new format?

That's a "new format"? I just thought my browser was acting up. 
So tried it with Internet Explorer, but no change. 
IMHO, there's no improvement over the old format.


I'm glad to hear you say that, because it's driving me nuts.
Every time I try to put the cursor anywhere, 
it shoots back up to the logo at the top and that's driving me Dornan.

If someone has a fast and easy fix, maybe we can save the new format,
but if I'm pulling my hair out, the issues will get smaller and smaller.

Just as I wrote that, I tried to change "from" and "subject" to black
and both times, everything jumped back up to the top of the page.

I need a drink reeeeeeeeel bad.

Locked out?
Sabutai ConcertSaturday

Recent Old Stuff 
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Con Links
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Kiss My Ass
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Mother of All Links
Did you hear it?
Bush Abortion Shocker! 

w/RFK section

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 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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