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Ich bin ein Enroners

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Volume 731 - Feed your Obsession


 Thursday     Feb. 28, 2002              Send Me an Angel              Recent old stuff               Shopping w/ Bart


 "Enron is running the Bush administration's energy policy."
   -- Ann Richards, who always tells the truth

 Scientists Reset 'Doomsday Clock' Toward Danger

  Click  Here

 The keepers of the "Doomsday Clock" have advanced its hands nearer to the midnight hour
 symbolizing nuclear weapons conflict, its closest since the Cold War's end, citing worries
 over lagging disarmament efforts, the security of existing stockpiles and terrorism.

 Having a really stupid president who must have constant war to keep his approval high,
 plus a tendency to go it alone in the face of our closest allies, the world is less safe than
 it would have been if Americans were allowed to choose their president by voting.

 Astros to Buy Enron Ballpark Name

  Click  Here

  The Houston Astros are dropping the name "Enron Field" from
  their ballpark to relieve themselves of the embarrassment.

  I wonder if George Bush International Airport in Houston is thinking the same?

 From: vanceeverson1@pcc.net

 Subject: Something else for people to do in Washinton DC on April 27

 National March in Washington Against War & Racism


 Great Cartoon by Ted Rall

  Click  Here


 "Maybe he can't think well when there's a breast behind him."
   -- Cher, talking about Ashcroft on Dave last night.

 Hey,. Johnny, who's the tramp?

 Why, ...it's Dr. Laura and her hooters.

 Dr. Laura, ...how COULD you?

 An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele

 Click  Here  for the latest updates.

 Write to Julie at   PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451

 E-mail to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 PayPal to Julie, Click  Here  -> 

Judge Orders Cheney Records Release

A federal judge has ordered the Energy Department to release thousands of records on the
Vice Oil Man's energy task force, criticizing the government for moving at ``a glacial pace.''

 ha ha

 You don't think it's starting, do you?
 If there's some really damaging info in these papers that link Smirk 'n Dick to Enron,
 bartcop.com  will soon be $9.95 a week, because the Smirk Roast will be held right here!

 ha ha

 If there was any sense of fair play in the minds of the Karma Gods, we Democrats would get our turn
 to crucify the other guy, who's actually guilty of stuff and I want to be the guy swinging the big hammer.

 ...in a comedic way, of course.

 From: Bernie

 Subject: It is all my fault!!


 It is all my fault!!!!!! Rush says he started going deaf in May.
 That is the exact time that I got in my legendary "Mega Bartcop Dittoes Pigboy" call.

 I think what happened was the hearing of the name "Bartcop" started the famous "Bartcop Hex".
 Next thing you know the pigboy is deaf and dumb. I think Rush knows this and I must admit I
 still fear for my life from the ditto-monkeys so don't print my e-mail address. Ha, ha.


 Mark Twain's War Prayer

  Click  Here

 O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells;
 help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead;
 help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded,
 writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire;

 This Twain guy should 've been a writer.

Washington broods over X-Ray prognosis

 Click  Here

 As the prisoners while away the weeks in their flyblown cages at Camp X-Ray,
 Washington's government lawyers are in a state of confusion and embarrassment,
 having so far failed to come up with a coherent plan for the captives' future.

 I thought President Emotional Landslide decided they were all guilty.
 That is, guilty of "being evil-doers," so why doesn't he just show them some of
 that good old "Texas hospitality" like he showed those hundreds of prisoners there?
 I mean, if King George says they're guilty, they're guilty,
 and there's no need for any trials or lawyers, right George?

 There are signs that the administration now regrets inventing the whole concept
 of military tribunals, the only war-related issue which has come close to giving
 President Bush political problems since September 11.

 That was always an extremely stupid idea, even for Bush.

 ...and I wish I knew why most Democrats remained silent when Bush proposed this
 extremely stupid and unconstitutional idea. I don't like it when the Unelected Fraud tells me,
 "The Constitution doesn't apply in the following cases..."

 Did the media kill Daniel Pearl?

 Would he still be alive if his picture and story weren't splashed across
 every TV screen and newspaper front page in the western world?

 If you don't count clueless Ronnie Reagan and the Bush Family Evil Empire
 everyone agrees you don't pay kidnappers because it encourages more kidnappings.

 So wouldn't the same principle apply to publicity-seeking religious kidnappers?
 When they made Pearl a media superstar, that empowered the nutjobs.

 Roger Hedgehog, the nut subbing for Rush yesterday,
 says he wants to see the video of Pearl being beheaded.


 The hotter they can make that Pearl video,
 the odds increase that there'll be another soon.

 Please, God, protect Jerry Rivers

 JHS Primer for the Slow

 Click  Here

 I  hadn't heard Alan Jackson's "Where were you when the world stopped turning?"
 It was a good song.

 Popular Delusions and the Madness of Drudge
   by Gene Lyons

   Click  Here

 The point is that once upon a time, it would have been shocking that for more than a month, not a
 single editor or reporter exercised minimal due diligence to determine if this too-good-to-be-true little
 nugget had any basis in fact. Today it's business as usual. Indeed, had it not been for the pesky activists
 at MediaWhoresOnline.com, it's not  clear the Lincoln Bedroom fable would ever have been corrected.
 The website posts newsroom e-mail links and phone numbers, encouraging citizens to make pests of
 themselves until journalists get it straight.

  Two things:
 1. Gene Lyons just totally rules, doesn't he?
 2. Mediawhoresonline.com  is starting to dominate.
 If you read it on mediawhoresonline.com - it's true.
 Everytime they get a national mention, which these days is almost daily,
 I write them and tell them how jealous I am, but I'm just kidding.

 If you read the fine print on their site, it says "In association with bartcop.com,"
 I think I need to write "In association with mediawhoresonline.com," instead.

 I wrote to the editor last night and said:

> Damn, Lyons even credited you with fixing the Lay-Lincoln bedroom story!
> You're in the history books now!
> I'm sooooooo jealous!!!!
> It's kinda like "A Star is Born," except that I was never a star :)

  I'm real proud of the gang over at MWO.
 MWO has more credibility than the New York Times,
 because they don't print every damn rumor that Matt Drudge fabricates and pretend it's "news."
 At MWO, they take the time to DIG and find the truth like reporters USED to do,
 before Clinton came along and the rules changed to "no sources at all."

 A shot of Chinaco to


  A secrets-spilling movie review by BartCop

  Click  Here

 Dave over at the BartCop Vegas Report reports that he's swamped
 and needs reporters and news gatherers and people with opinions.

 If you're interested, click above and check the bottom of the page and send Dave some e-mail.
 Las Vegas is too big for one lone dude to handle.

 A new friend put a link to  bartcop.com  on his page.

 WARNING: NOT a member of any feminist webrings.

 So I thought I'd ask the ladies - only:
 Do women have a better online friend than  bartcop.com?

 Hopefully, it's not my honesty that might upset some women.
 For instance, when I do the Emmy and Oscar picks, I'm honest
 enough to say I pick the women with whom I'd most enjoy having sex.

 This year I'm rooting for Halle Berry.

 Could women take that as an insult?

 If so, then what would explain the acting careers of Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner,
 Harrison Ford, Sly Stallone, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, and, above all, Tom Cruise?

 Isn't it a fact that those "actors" make money because women pay to see their movies
 so they can fantasize about having sex with them?

 If I'm wrong - explain Tom Cruise to me.

 Now that that argument has been settled, I'd like to hear from the women.
 Is there anything on  bartcop.com  that you see as insulting to women?

 [I see those extra-vulgar Laura Schlessinger pictures as political,
 not (gag) sensual, but you're free to disagree with that if you like.]

  I had the most infuriating conversation with the Democratic National Committee.
  Christian is always saying, "Let me talk to those people, that's what a publicist does."

  But did I listen?


  Click  Here

 Did Nolan Richardson talk himself out of a cushy coaching job at Arkansas?

 Don't forget to check 

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PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155

 Complete Grammy wrap-up, Clinton Library update,
 a new Francis Ford Coppola film, Bob Dylan news,
 Christina Aguilera, Dave Matthews, James Bond - and more!

Check today's 

 Great News!

 USA Today reports that, starting in April, Bill Press is leaving Crossfire.
 That's not the good news - I like Bill Press.

 Oh, I think he could've tempered his condemnation of Bill Clinton during Monica,
 but compared to Alan Colmes, Bill Press is James Carville or Paul Begala.

 Guess who's replacing Bill Press?

 James Carville and Paul Begala!

 ha ha

 The two of them are going to take turns giving the red-ass to Tucker Carlson and Bob Novak.
 I'll bet they're doing it because the Democrats have become such pink-tutu's spineless woosies
 that they felt it was their duty to remind the scared bunnies how to fight!

 Yoo Hoo!

 Crossfire becomes must-tape TV.

 Daddy Bush/Cheney/ExxonMobil/Halliburton and natural gas
  The Untold Story

  Click  Here

TV Sweep weeks are over!!

 But buy a $50 ticket to  An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele anyway.

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
   PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466.... Tulsa, OK  74155

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