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Volume 811 - Dancing in the Doldrums


Wednesday  June 5, 2002 


"Yes, there is such a thing as global warming, but I still don't like
  the Kyoto accords because it would hurt the American economy."
    -- The stupidest president ever

 How can President Duncil choose the cheaper route when the Earth is warming?

 To me, that sounds like, "We can't afford to have that brain tumor removed, son,
 because it would hurt our family economy."

 September 11 hearings begin:
 Bush, Congress seek whitewash of government  role

  Click  Here

 September 11 is presented as a colossal failure of the intelligence apparatus. But the cascade
 of new information has shattered the alibis and evasions of official Washington. It is not a matter
 of terrorists “slipping through the cracks,” or intelligence agencies “failing to connect the dots.”
 There is growing reason to believe that at least some of the September 11 hijackers had ties
 to American intelligence agencies. They were not overlooked. They were shielded.

 Air Force colonel suspended
 Dared to tell the truth about Failure in Thief

  Click  Here

 He did nothing to warn the American people because he needed this war on terrorism.
 His daddy had Saddam and he needed Osama. His presidency was going nowhere.
 ... This guy is a joke.

 The crazy, vulgar Pigboy said two things in yesterday's second hour:

 1. There is no such thing as global warming.
 2. Global warming isn't all that bad because it extends the growing season for farmers.

 This is the GOP's best communicator?
 Is there anyone who can tell me Rush's position on global warming?

Connecting the Dots

Osama bin Laden > World Trade Center 1993 > Philippines 1995 > Egypt Air 1999 (?) >
Flight Schools > Phoenix Memo > Agent John O’Neill > Zacarias Moussaoui >
Agent Coleen Rowley > 20th Hijacker > Hart-Rudman Report > Air Security
Recommendations >  French Intelligence > Israeli Intelligence > “Something Big” >
Vladimir Putin > August 6 Briefing >

George W Bush (“on vacation”)

< Poppy Bush < Dick Cheney < John Ashcroft < FISA Judges < Saudi Financing
< Offshore Havens < “Stand Down” <  “Back Off” < No Investigation! < PATRIOT Act
< Poll Numbers < Put Options < Jeb Bush < Second Graders < Air Force One <  Star Wars
< Carlyle Group < Iraq Attack < Unocal < Karzai < Asian Markets < Energy Report
< Taliban < Halliburton < Pipeline < Power Plant < Enron


Subject: Hotel phone abuse

Hotel gouging for phone use:  when I visited the US I went on a minibus tour of the Grand Canyon and Vegas.
*** I WAS IN VEGAS WHEN THEY BLEW UP THE DUNES HOTEL ***.  Anyway, that's my place in
history, but also on the tour were two Israeli girls who could hardly speak English, and they tried several times
to call people back home in Israel.  EACH TIME they picked up the phone and dialled, their room was charged
$12, even if there was no answer.  The phone bill they racked up was in the hundreds of dollars.  Our tourmeister
was able to talk the hotel management down to something like $100 each for the poor girls, because he ran these
tours every couple of weeks and used the same hotels from time to time, but still it pretty much blew the poor
girls' budget (this was in 1993).


Those girls needed BartCop's gouge-proof Long Distance.

 Mail Bag

 I am so tired of hearing excuses. We know in our hearts
 that Clinton would have been crucified by all this.

 Remember where Bush was during all this .....on fucking vacation!!!!
 He was in a field talking to cows.


  Fighter vs Biter
 Get the 411 on 

 Tyson fight?

 Milt & I are having a contest - who can pick the winner and the time.
 It's free as the fries Ann Coulter eats, too.
 Send your entry to Milt at contest@bartcopsports.compick a fighter, the round & the time.
 All entries must be in by 5 pm CST Saturday.
 Winner gets his pick of any item from The BartCop Store

 Haben Sie auch Schwarze?
       by Gene Lyons

   Click  Here

 The New York Times account emphasized how tired Bush was, an excuse you wouldn't
 make for a fifteen year-old. Which is exactly what Junior, kept up past his bedtime by
 decadent European dining habits, sounded like: a resentful preppie at a fancy school on
 Daddy's money showing his contempt for a brainy scholarship kid-pretty much how
 people who went to school with Bush describe him.

 Mail Bag

 Upon performing a Google search upon my name, I found that my name was
 most decisively linked with your website. So apart from thinking that I should get
 a more interesting life, I think that readers who wish fame and fortune should also
 contribute so that they may also suff--er, realize the benefits of being associated with you.

 To paraphrase FDR, you may be a crackpot, but you're OUR crackpot.
 Big howdy to Perkel from DBQ.

Your day-by-day history of WWII is great.  I am 64 so was alive at the time
but it didn't mean much to me. The Battle of Midway piece was excellent.
I have heard of it but the daily rundown was something I have never seen.
Keep up this project.  Just do a little work on your spelling.

And spend some more time on the Russian part of the war.  That was the real clincher.
By the end of '43, the Germans' butts had been thoroughly kicked by the Russians.
I also enjoy your 'editor's  comments'.

They ring true and satisfying.


 Subject: Question

 The Penn State College Democrats suggested I ask you if the
 current administration is really as bad as suggested by this website:


 What do you think Bart?


seen on fine guitars everywhere

 Funny, when doing a page like this, you never know what's going to hit.
 I've gotten more mail about the Arabic business card than any story in months.
 Here's maybe the most accurate translation:


A Jordanian buddy here at work translated your bid-ness card. It is

American Association for Tax Reform
Grover J. Norquist
1320 SW 18th Street
Suite 200
Washington DC, PO 20036
(202)785-0266 Fax (202)785-0621

Good luck,


You, Sir, are correct!
I wonder why Norquist is trying to drum up business with Arabs?
What do Arabs have to do with Tax Reform?

...or is he selling them weapons?

 They read it in Auckland.
 They read it in Trinidad & Tobago.
 They read it in St. Louis.


 I got a letter from a V. White of Hollywood, CA

 Think it came from Vanna?

 Banker says FBI ignored his tip on planned terrorist attack
          By Don Michak, Journal Inquirer May 30, 2002

  Click  Here

 A banker from Manchester says he told the FBI last fall that Egyptians had advised him about
 the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks before they happened and that the next target would be in London.
 But the banker, Richard W. Dennison, also says nobody from the bureau followed up on his tale,
 the result of an extraordinary encounter with a shopkeeper in a Cairo bazaar.

is always worth a read.

 60 Minutes II replaces Carol Marin
 with younger, thinner model

  Click  Here

 As a correspondent for "60 Minutes II," Carol Marin won broadcast journalism's
 highest accolades and nearly lost her life covering the collapse of the World Trade Center.
 But all those Peabody Awards, DuPont Awards, national Emmys and countless other honors
 weren't enough to keep Marin and her two Chicago-based producers in the show's budget.

 "They just became a luxury we can't afford," CBS News chief Andrew Heyward said after
 Marin and her crew were informed that their contracts would not be renewed.
 "Times are tight," he lamented.

 But somehow, the same folks who couldn't find a place in the budget for Marin came up with
 a million bucks to hire Lara Logan as a contributing correspondent for "60 Minutes II."

 Gee, I wonder why she was hired?

 Men are such pigs, and clumsy liars, too.

  BartCop MIRC chat

 Have you checked out the chat yet?


"Not to put too fine a point on it, but how in the name of Jesus Christ
  can the holy mother church condone the rape of even one child?"
     --Paul Begala reacting to the bishop's recommendation  that priests
        who have only molested one child be allowed to stay, Crossfire, last night

 Dump Dem Bums
   by Maureen Dowd - she hates everybody

  Click  Here

 I'm sick of all these colliding flow charts and color-coded warnings. I want to see some agents
 lose their jobs. Let's start with the counterterrorism whiz who told Ms. Rowley that her team
 could not get a search warrant because Zacarias Moussaoui had such a common name in France.
 Bye-bye. Or the counterterrorism braniac who found the Minneapolis and Phoenix warning memos
 in his In Box and put them in his Out Box. Get lost. (There's an accounting job waiting for you at Halliburton.)

 A letter I'm not sure about...

 Click  Here

  Love letters to John Fund
 They say no girl can resist a swarthy woman-beater.

(First, woman-beating Fund gets this letter from Gail)

From: Gail H

To: John.Fund

Subject: back rub

I'm good for a back rub when you need it, spiritual or otherwise.


(So the dumb ass send it to Leslie, then Leslie answers)

From: Leslie_G

Subject: Re: back rub

I don't understand why you are sending me this.
It's no consolation to you, but I'm physically ill over what
has happened to you and the fact that I may have a small role.
I don't expect your forgiveness, but I don't want emails
from your other girlfriends.


ha ha
Have you ever heard of a bigger numbnut than John Fund?


 I'm John Fund.
I assault women.
     Got any?

 Join the BartCop family
  Keep your mouth shut and follow orders
  and you might make captain some day.

  Click  Here

 Click below to be a Corona Light made man for only $5 a month.

 Feeling greedy?
Click  below to become a full blown Chinaco Reposada capo for $50 a month

 I'll even throw in a life insurance policy for your widow.


Sorry, I would contact Al Martin directly, but there is no obvious e-mail address on his page.
And, furthermore, I realize this is not exactly earthshaking: Not to defend Bush (perish the thought)
or cast aspersions on Martin, but I find no evidence of any "Salute to George Bush" weekend on
TNT over the Memorial Day Weekend as reported in Martin's recent article.  I check
http://www.tnt.tv/Schedule/0,3671,TNT|-10||Eastern,00.html for May 25 and find a collection of movies,
but none of the ones Martin claims.  Conspiracy Theory was shown on the 26th, but apparently not
as part of any "Salute to George Bush".  Memorial Day itself was actually the Memorial Day
Western Marathon, where they showed only Westerns.

Could it have been another weekend?
Was this just satire on Martin's part?


Perhaps we'll hear from Al.

 Message to Court-appointed Prez: We Will Get Answers
    by Barry Crimmins

  Click  Here

 [Bush] may try to characterize this investigation as some sort of inside the Beltway obsession,
 but since one of the main terrorist targets was the the Pentagon, the rest of the country hardly
 sees it as a strange fixation. Like it or not, the entire nation has finally begun to articulate
 questions that should have been asked months ago.

Subject: God Bless You People!

My guess is that you get big gushy letters like this one on a regular basis,
whenever some poor gentle soul floundering away in the conservative
Republican wilderness that is the current U.S. of A. happens onto your site.

I found you through a link on MediaWhores.com. I've only had time to browse through
a few of your links, but you left me laughing, glowing, hoping and praying that maybe our
country isn't as sorry and mean as the Right Wingers have made it seem. You folks rule!

Okay, I'm finished gushing.  Please, just rest assured that you made my day.
I'll be a regular visitor from here on out.



 Ashcroft’s Failures Deserve a Hearing
         by smoking Joe Conason

  Click  Here

 From what we know of Mr. Ashcroft’s conduct since he assumed office last year,
 he shrugged off the terrorist threat in favor of his own small-time agenda.
 He wanted to prosecute people in California who provide marijuana to cancer patients.
 He wanted to prosecute doctors in Oregon who assist the suicides of terminally ill patients.
 He wanted to prosecute pornographers.

 No doubt he wanted to stop terrorists, too, but that particular item got priority only when
 he appeared before Congress or made speeches—not when he allocated funds or issued
 directives within the Justice Department.

"Come in, Torture HQ,
 This is Field Commander Ashcroft.
 We have more illegal speech at  bartcop.com
 Please send choppers and torturers, ASAP!
 Look for a 'smoking' Joe Conason.
 We'll need duct tape and pliers for this guy.
 We need to torture some patriotism into him."

 BartCop, ...BartCop...

 BartCop - come to Vegas...


"It would seem that the worse you fuck up in this job the more popular you get.'"
   --JFK, riding high in the polls after the Bay of Pigs fiasco

"I'm a fuck up and
  they love me!"

 Possibly as early as Thursday, we'll have an announcement on the Juliefest video .
 The great luck we had with JulieFest2002-DC continues to astound and amaze.
 I've seen a rough copy, and it's un-be-lievable.

 We were hoping to find a competent person, maybe someone
 who could hold the camera steady and not shake too much.

 Instead, we got Coppola.

Father's Day is just around the corner.

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