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Wielding a part-time hammer in a full-time war.


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A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
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Volume 813 - Kent Bye Presents


Friday  June 7, 2002 


"Lewis can characterize it as a fight between good and evil.
  I think he is forgetting that the boxing ring is what we call the killing floor.
  He's knows he's getting in the ring with a killer."
    --Stacy McKinley, Tyson's trainer

 "I mo bite you!"

 Dan Rather was Right

  Click  Here

 He accuses the news media of not being aggressive enough to penetrate the fog of vagueness
 obscuring the information coming from the White House. Rather argues that the reluctance of
 the White House press corps to fight for substantive answers from the Bush administration has,
 in effect, turned some of the country's top reporters into mere stenographers repeating Bushite spin.

 The entire White House press corps has turned into "Steno Sue," for the Unelected Fraud.
 They're all being good puppies so the Bush takeover will succeed.

 Dee Dee Ramone found dead

  Click  Here

 This weekend...

 You have the biggest boxing match since Tyson-Holyfield,
 the exciting run for the Triple Crown by War Emblem,
 World Cup Soccer is doing something,
 Stanley Cup Finals, if you're a northerner,
 the French Open, if you like tennis,
 Baseball interleague play - Home Run king Barry Bonds at Yankee Stadium

 Good thing we have  to keep up with it all!

  Fighter vs Biter
 Get the 411 on 

 In which round will Tyson bite the Champ?
 Pick the winner and the time.  Send your entry to contest@bartcopsports.com
 Pick a fighter, the round & the time.  All entries must be in by 5 pm CST Saturday.
 Winner gets his pick of any item from The BartCop Store and an autographed 8x10 of Biting Mike, himself!

  Can War Emblem pull it off?

  I'd like to see VISA lose the $5mil, wouldn't you?

Subject: Trickle Down Economics Still Not Working

It should be no surprise that Bush's "trickle down economics" is not working.
It did not work for Reagan nor for the first Bush administration. At some
point the public has to wake up to the fact that the wealthy will not share
or play fair, no matter how many tax cuts they receive.

The NASDAQ which once reached the 5000 level during Clinton's terms, is
currently valued at 1500 and heading to zero. We need to return to the days
of Clinton, peace and prosperity and non stop personal investigations.

Jim in Rochester, MI

I'm old.
I wish I was younger.
One of the ways I trick myself into thinking that I'm not really that old
is doing kid stuff like watching the certainly worthless MTV Movie Awards.
The Bush Family Evil Empire's got nothing on MTV in the bullshit department

But I have to confess:
Four or five years ago, MTV was maving a horrible, we're-all-too-old kinda night,
when "Hole" grabbed the stage by the ass and gave it some rock n roll attitude.
I don't even like Hole, least I don't remember liking them, but they brought a dead
room full of Hollywood record big dogs to their feet that night, so I cheered 'em.

Last night, Kelly Osbourne, Ozzy's daughter, rocked the house doing "Papa Don't Preach!"

ha ha

She really tore the roof off the dump, too.
I thought Eminem was good, too, but Kelly stole the show.
Ozzy couldn't be there, because he's partying weith the f-ing Queen of England!

When he introduced Kelly, via satellite, he said "Fuck me, she's my daughter!"
ha ha
Dan Quayle is right - Ozzy is a role model for all families!


If you missed Kelly doing Madonna on meth, you missed something good.
Sharon held her face in her hands in a panic mode, Jack looked bored as hell.
But when it was over, Mom rushed the stage and Jack threw his hands up in victory.
Good for him. Not many boys pull for their sister at that age.

Kelly had a tight, kick-ass band, and she provided the whole rock star thing.
The dude turning knobs put a metallic, 40s-radio tinge on her voice that was perfect!

Because of their best-comedy-show on TV, I felt like I knew Kelly,
so I was kinda pulling for her to do good, as a friend.
Like Opie, she grew up in show business, so just maybe she knows what she's doing.
We watched the replay 6-8 times - she did great.
Kelly the rock star.  What a world, what a world.

 The Truth about Kyoto and the Rush Lie

   Click  Here

 They read it in Oslo.
 They read it in Algiers.
 They read it in Humboldt County.


 Is Major League Soccer fixed?

 Hey, don't laugh!
 I saw you rolling your eyes, but when will you learn?

 Soccer will go nowhere until the US wins the World Cup.

 There is money to be made, so why would you doubt a fix?
 Haven't you learned anything about greedy American capitalism?

Cheney doing ads?
Is this legal?

is always worth a read.

Subject: Lone Black Persons at Julie-Fest

Hello Bart,
        Just read Sara T.'s letter about the lack of diversity at Julie-Fest.
I feel I should add my two cents since I was one of the two people of color who attended.
I see this website as dealing primarily with politics.  Sometimes that entails gender, sometimes
race, sometimes class, sometimes wealth, but only as it pertains to politics.  Hate to bust her bubble,
but linking to black writers will not draw more African Americans to this site.  African Americans
do not support their own sites in adequate numbers.  I'm not going to be the stick to beat up on
black folks for not protesting more about what is going on in Washington.

        Have learned we all need to be our own leaders, and act proactively in our own way.
It does sadden me that the group of people who know government abuses first hand,
and are fully aware that when Americans begin losing their constitutional rights instinctly
know which group of Americans will be affected disproportionately, don't even vote in
large numbers.  Really sad when remembering the 60's and all the Freedom Riders, all
the Americans who fought for the Voting Rights Act, all the sacrifices that were made,
lives lost - sad to see the extreme indifference now.  There are some beacons of light.
Aaron Magruder for one.  I'm surprised the Bush white house has not had him exiled or worse.
        Stick to politics.  Irregardless of sex, creed or color, we all should be united with one goal.
Rid the country of the idiot savant who occupies the white house and stop the fascist policies
of the Grand Hypocrisy Party.

G. Rita T.

P.S.  I had a good time at Julie-Fest because it was great talking with
        people who shared similar viewpoints regarding politics.

 R Kelly

 R Kelly says he's innocent of child rape (I didn't know he was Catholic)
 because the man in the tape is NOT him.

 Meanwhile, his attorney says R Kelly is innocent because the girl
 in the tape is much older than the 14 years the police reported.

 But if R Kelly's not in the tape, how does his lawyer know the girl/woman?

 R Kelly, you should probably shut the hell up and let your attorney do the lying.

Subject: FEMA and 911?

Hi Bartcop,

I'm sure you've heard that in an interview on CBS with Dan Rather, Tom Kennedy
of FEMA said that he and his team were DEPLOYED to NYC on late Monday night
and were the first team there, ready to help come Tuesday morning, 9/11.  He later said
"No comment " when asked by other reporters, what he had meant by his statement :).

Have you heard anything further about this?


Angela, yes, there are dozens of unanswered questions about September 11th.

Like Bush's going AWOL, his cocaine bust, his secret children, his complete arrest record etc.,
the whore press refuses to ask simple, basic questions of the man who hijacked our vote.

That's one reason I'd enjoy possessing a bigger hammer.
If I got a half-million hits a day, if I had a budget, if I had a radio show,
I'd be asking those questions again and again and again until I got some answers.

But as long as money trumps the truth,
as long as the greedy Washington press whores call the tune,
those questions will never be asked or answered.

 What took so long?
  Cheney's Halliburton reign thick with crude accounting and glaring contradictions
   by  Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

"When you consider all the time and ink spent on Whitewater,
  the neglect of the Cheney-Halliburton story is unfathomable."

 The whore press was paid millions to fabricate Whiutewater, Paula Jones,
 Juanita the Unraped, Gennifer Flowers etc etc etc, but nobody is paying for
 a Bush scandal so the press just sits on their thumbs.

 These days, they're paid to NOT ask any questions.
 They're paid to praise the illegal, illegitimate, bastard boy king.

  BartCop MIRC chat

 Have you checked out the chat yet?

Who lost his election bid to a dead man?
Who put robes over the statues of liberty and justice?
Who would rather prosecute pot smokers than find terrorists?
Who sings about freedom, but takes it away from everyone else?

Who flew on private jets in the months up to 9/11, but said, speaking as the
lead investigator of all investigations by the U.S., he doesn't have a clue why? .

Who would subvert a state's right by stopping terminally-ill Oregonians from
choosing a death with dignity, but still can't catch the Anthrax terrorist?

Who said he'd enforce the laws as they stood, not enforce the laws in his
fundamentalist, homophobic, racist little pea-brained head, thereby lying at
his confirmation before Congress and the American people? .

Please, let us introduce you to ...John Ashcroft.

"That shit isn't funny.
 Somebody's getting tortured for that unfunny pack of lies!
 This is Field Marshall Ashcroft calling in a Secret Torture strike
 against any and all readers of  bartcop.com   Send the big chopppers
 because this BartCop fella probably has 6-8 dozen readers.
 By all that's holy, we'll torture some patriotism into these liberals!"

 Note: I did not intend to steal this.  It was sent to me as text from a dead trees magazine.
           The original can be seen at  gunguys.com/other/ashcroft.htm
           bartcop.com  regrets the error

 Teary Monica excused from jury duty

  Click  Here

 Who said it?

"I do better when I'm coming from behind."

Laura the Unloved, to Bill Balance in 1990

George Herbert Herbert Bush, to John Major in 1992

Ron Jeremy, to Ginger Lynn in 1988


 Join the BartCop Convent
  Poverty, chastity and obedience.
  Rape-free since 1996, too.

  Click  Here

 Click  below to become a Corona nun for $10 a month

 Enjoy breaking young fingers with a ruler?
 Click  below to become a Chinaco Anejo Mother Superior for just $100 a month

 Quiz Answer:

 Ten years ago today: President George H.H. Bush, who met with John Major
 at Camp David, Md., voiced confidence he would win re-election, but embraced
 the role of underdog, saying, "I do better when I'm coming from behind."


"I'll take his f-ing life. That's what I'll do. I'll give my best to destroy him.
  I just want to put my hand thru head head and his brain. I want his brain
  to come in contact with my fist. I want to damage his brain!!"
     -- Bite Tyson, carrying the torch for the sweet science

  "I mo bite you!"

 BartCop, ...BartCop...

 BartCop - come to Vegas...


 Summer Time, Summer Time…

 When News Doesn't Make the News
  All reporters need to question what they're told
      by Steven C. Day

   Click  Here

"The Bush administration, like others before it, provides reporters with information
 and inside access that is critical to their jobs. By all accounts, Bush himself also
 provides them with a much-appreciated salve to their well-developed egos,
 by handing out nicknames and engaging in friendly chit-chat. In exchange,
 the reporters disseminate the administration’s point of view to the public."

 President Pinhead has a good puppy press!
 They always do what they're told or Bush might not call them
 by their nickname ...and then where would they be?

  The Juliefest2002-DC video .

 I don't know if I've ever given a guarantee like this before.

 Whatever you're expecting this tape to be, it's so much better than that.
 Kent Bye is a very gifted film maker, and we were lucky to get him.
 There is more excitement on this tape than you can imagine.

 Click  Herefor exciting details and ordering instructions.

 Plus, once this tape has run its course, we can talk about JuliefestWest.

 As we speak, casinoes* are competing for our business.

Father's Day is just around the corner.

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