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Volume 911 - Bush's Amerika


 Tuesday   Oct 22, 2002 


"If Carnahan loses in Missouri, the GOP will have a Senate majority until Jan. 1.
  Since she's an appointed replacement for her husband, Talent would take the seat
  immediately while other new senators have to wait for Jan. 1 to start their terms.
  The Republicans could confirm all of Bush's judges in eight busy weeks."s
    -- toe sucker Dick Morris.

 Missouri, don't let the Unelected Fraud have a majority in the senate!

 Son of Sam asks sniper to stop

  Click  Here

"Son of Sam'' serial killer David Berkowitz has written a letter
 telling the Washington-area sniper to ``stop hurting innocent people.''

 ha ha

 That's like Bush telling someone to "stop lying."

 Got Oil?
   by Arianna Huffington

  Click  Here

 "Can the administration seriously deny that oil dollars do, actually,
  finance a spreading slick of evil in the world today?
 In Saudi Arabia, our second largest foreign supplier of oil, the money you spend
 at the pump over here pays for a feudal monarchy that gorges itself on excess
 while bankrolling terrorist mischief abroad with its support of suicide bombers.

 Even our close ally Kuwait, our eleventh largest oil supplier, manifests an ambivalence
 toward America that, if you accept the Bush administration's drug-war arguments
 about the validity of remote effects, resulted in this month's assassination of an
 American Marine on military exercises. Thank you, Exxon."

 Subject: John McCain on SNL

 Hi, BC!
 I loved your take on McCain slamming Barbra on SNL.  I didn't think of it that way.
 I, too, was watching it and had to turn off the TV as soon as he did that piece.
 I was fuming and just refused to watch any more of that garbage.
 What came across to me was that Mr. 'Don't Try To Do My Job' McCain was telling the PEOPLE
 that they had no business getting involved in the affairs of THEIR government--you know, things that
 would affect those very people, like WAR, for instance.  What a jackass!

 The skit didn't even make sense, anyway.  Did Barbra Streisand ever tell Senators not to cut records?
 NO!  On the other hand, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought it was every citizen's right and DUTY
 to participate in OUR democracy.  So, Mr. McCain, excuse the hell out of me for writing to my Senators
 and representatives and telling them I don't want them to vote yes on the war!  I didn't realize that our
 representatives were no longer working for US!    Jerk!


 “Today down in Houston they had an auction of all Enron assets.
   Lots of good deals – I picked up two senators and a congressman."
        -- Leno

 A Fool and his Foreign Policy are Soon Parted
    by William Rivers Pitt

  Click  Here

 For the second time in as many months, the leader of the free world has been
 out-generaled by a tinhorn dictator from some far-flung corner of the globe.

 The first humiliation came when Saddam Hussein upended George W. Bush's
 combat applecart by offering to open his country to United Nations weapons inspectors.

 The second humiliation was splashed across the front pages of every newspaper today,
 and is far more subtle a game. North Korea, a charter member of the Axis of Evil,
 was revealed today to have a robust nuclear weapons program.

 Florida governor's race, justice for a bourgeois rioter
    from Joe Conason's Journal

  Click  Here

"The hidden story in the Florida governor's race is the odd partnership between Jeb's consultant

 Mike Murphy and White House guru Karl Rove. They last clashed during the vicious GOP
 primaries of 2000, when Murphy worked for John McCain. (Having enjoyed the Arizona
 senator's brilliant comedic performance on "Saturday Night Live," incidentally, I am now
 thoroughly convinced that he will never run for president again.)
 Now those two sprawling egos must work together to preserve the Bush dynasty. The Washington
 Post reported last Friday that they've already argued about whether the president is an asset or an
 albatross in this rapidly closing race. While Rove seems confident that the Republican losses will be
 minimal -- and may even believe his own propaganda about historic midterm gains -- he has worried
 about Florida for months.  And Murphy, who talks constantly about retiring from politics, faces
 unpromising prospects."

 NBC Sunday Today becomes "must-see" pundit TV
    by the Pundit Pap Team as seen on americanpolitics.com

  Click  Here

Harmony Cedar Hope Chests and Amish Furniture


"Martha Stewart is coming out with a new line of furniture.
  The set comes complete with bunk beds and a metal toilet.
         -- Conan

  Attention, girls!
 Sex ed, Bush Administration style
    by Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

"While we spend trillions of dollars on weapons, the military and homeland security,

  the real threats -- water scarcity, climate change and population growth -- advance
  unchecked. Of course, you would know more about all this if the media weren't so
  busy wasting hours of time on rank speculation about the Maryland sniper.
  Crime doesn't pay, but it sells."

 The Mother of All Trip Reports
  a cruise report by Tally Briggs
  Click  Here

  Note: It's longer than Noelle Bush's rap sheet.

 Three weeks into the new TV season and tonight's Frasier is a repeat?

 The gall of these Republicans - screwing their audience more quickly than usual.

  Click  Here

 Pot in Humboldt County

 Click  Here

"The Northern California growers are greatly responsible even for what's happening in Amsterdam.

 Certainly the Dutch are smart enough to realize good seeds and breeding when they see it.
 Even the 'Got Humboldt' T-shirts are funny because you can get the joke if you have any idea what it's about.
 If you're not a pot smoker you may not know the Humboldt reputation, but that's for those to know."

 It says they have the "Humboldt Harvest Bash" in Eureka.
 Nobody told me about that.

 Somebody send me some info, would you?
 I enjoy a good bash now & then...


"It happened again, an airline pilot was caught drunk. This time it was a Continental pilot.
  They became suspicious when he tried writing his name in the clouds.
    -- Kilborn

by the great Betty Bowers
Click for more...

 I live a charmed life.
 Hardly anything goes wrong, due to careful planning.

 But since the Fest, the gods have been conspiring against me.
 First, the Rio screwed me out of $4,000 doolars, then we had that other
 unpleasant matter, then our plumbing went crazy at BartCop manor,
 which is nothing a few hundred dollars and a day off work can't cure,
 then the refrigerator blew up, which cost an arm and a leg plus a ton of food
 not to mention the time off work and f-ing with the page's schedule,.

 Now I see the bastards at the Rio have added ANOTHER $3,000 to my credit card

 Maybe my luck will change if I turn a bottle of Chinaco upside down?


 Subject: Anti-Porn Guy?!

 Bart, I love your site!  I read it every day.  Today, however, you included a piece on the Anti-Porn Guy,
 and frankly I can't figure out why.  I made the mistake of clicking the link, and it was like driving past a
 horrible car wreck: I was shocked and disgusted, but I couldn't help but slow down and gawk.

 After I passed the wreck I felt sad for the victim, ashamed for being a rubber-necker, and a little sick
 to my stomach.  Anti-Porn Guy is obviously the victim of his parents' twisted values...only 19 years old
 and already hopelessly fucked up.  All that hateful Nazi garbage spewing from such a young kid...it's just sad.

 Tom from Detroit

 I published that trash so people would realize THOSE kinds of people control us now.
 That's scarier than anything you'll see on Halloween.

 A loan from Tony Soprano... $50,000

 Interest on the loan per week... $1,500

 Furio standing at the door to collect... PRICELESS


  Click  Here

...seen on a railroad car near Houston.



 Thanks for running your web-page, and fighting the battle against lies, distortion, and outright evil.

    I mean, what kind of nightmare America do we live in, when Vietnam WAR VETERAN and
 Anthrax survivor Tom Daschle has to take dictation on "PATRIOTISM" from the unelected fraud
 who went AWOL from the Vietnam war, a war he, his parents, and his brothers all supported,
 but NOT ONE volunteered for??!!

 And what is with the "MEDIA'S" *IGNORING* the Anthrax attacks??!!
 I mean, there are ONLY 40 PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD who could process anthrax
 to that level of "weapons grade", yet the FBI and CIA seem too incompetent, incapable, and
 the anthrax letters were mailed from New Jersey mailboxes.

 Billions and Billions and Billions for "national security," and the American public and press
 tolerate this gross incompetence or co-conspiracy!

 It looks like a replay of the Kennedy assassination, in slow motion.
 Well, thanks for being one of the few out there to call 'em on their slanders and lies...



''Congrats to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term.
  He got 99% of the vote. There was a last minute surge that gave the 1%
  of the vote to Frank Lauttenburg.
     -- Dave

 Top Ten reasons to be a Republican
   by Caspar

10. What do we have to worry about, Jesus already died for our sins
  9. Large Nuclear weapons compensate for small genitalia
  8. Democrats may have us on every issue, but we have Sonny Bono
     (we were in high school, Sonny was still alive and cracking us up)
  7. Seldom have health problems when your heart is made of stone
  6. Women need to be sexually harassed (as the Democrats call it) to satisfy their penis envy
  5. If the poor didn't want to be poor they would get money from a rich relative
  4. Women love guys in suits, especially guys dressed in white sheets with a pointed hood
  3. It really is stressful being rich.  Really, I promise
  2. Isn't it mandatory when even vegetarians threaten your masculinity
  1. Three words:  Bitter White Males!

The Pieman


"Saddam Hussein is unique in this sense. He has thumbed his nose
  at the world for 11 years and for 11 years he said, `No, I refuse to disarm.'
  We've tried diplomacy.  We're trying it one more time. I believe the free world,
  if we make up our mind to, can disarm this man peacefully."
    -- the man some call "president"

 But Governor, if Saddam agrees to disarm, you won't get to steal that oil.

 Take my day job - please!

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 Crass things FAUX does during the World Series
   by Sean O'G

 - they place digital ads behind the batter, promoting FAUX shows (it's not a physical ad,
 it's digitally inserted - I know this for a fact because they've done this the past few years
 at Yankee Stadium, where there are no physical ads behind the batter, believe me);

 - they come back from commercials often when a pitch has already been thrown;

 - they have the absolute worst announcers, who feel they must fill every second of air time with talk,
 even when they have nothing to say (and they too frequently say the most stupid things imaginable);

 - they leave the game to go to local programming almost immediately when the game has ended,
 no matter how dramatic the game may have been (go to ESPN, they'll pick up when FAUX has
 gone to "The World's Most Horrific Police Chase Videos").

 Tim McCarver should be tied to a chair and forced to listen to himself on tape.
 During the second game, when the Angels were ahead 5-0, he said,
 "What San fransisco needs to do is score some runs."

 Swear to Koresh, that idiot said that.

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