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Show 55 is Up
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1415 - Desperate Monkey
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Sun-Monday Oct 3-4, 2004
Mike Malloy on AAR weeknights
"On Iran, I hope we can do the same thing,
continue to work with the world to convince
the Iranian mullahs to abandon their
nuclear ambitions. We worked very closely with the
foreign ministers of France,
Germany and Great Britain, who have been the folks
delivering the message to the mullahs
that if you expect to be part of the world of nations,
get rid of your nuclear programs."
--Dubya, who sweems
to have gotten permission from France to confront Iran, Attribution
Kerry step up attacks after debate
Bad Monkey might be a one-termer like
his failed Daddy
Bush used Kerry's comment that preemptive
US military action ought to pass a
"global test" to accuse him of putting
worldwide popularity ahead of US security.
"The president's job is not to take an international
poll. The president's job is to
defend America," the Monkey lied. "The
use of troops to defend America must
never be subject to a veto by countries
Aides to Kerry, sensing their desparation,
countered: "If you rely on a half-sentence
to attack your opponent, it's proof you're
not telling the whole truth, you're distorting
a debate you lost."
That's a BartCop staple, right there. Since they have to
lie to make their point,
that proves that they realize that the truth won't do.
The truth makes people want to
vote for Kerry, and Bush can't accept that, so he has nothing
left but to lie.
"The reason it works is we have a dumb guy,
me, we have a tough guy, Howie, we have
a smart guy, JB, and Jillian is cute
and she has big hooters and men like big hooters."
-- Terry Bradshaw, (D-Hates the Pigboy) explaining why
FOX Football pregame is Number One
Whore News Pulls Fake Kerry Story
Doesn't this mean they should go off the air?
Carl Cameron, a whore reporter, wrote an
item that looked like a news story with made-up
Kerry quotes, said Paul Schur, a Fox whore
spokesman. The item was not intended to be posted on the site.
'"Didn't my nails and cuticles look great? What
a good debate!' Kerry said Friday.
'"It's about the Supreme Court. Women should
like me! I do manicures,' Kerry said.
"I'm metrosexual - Bush is a cowboy."
This is the kind of crap FOX put on their web site.
Did the liar responsible get fired?
Hell no, because FOX doesn't live by the standards they set for
Their "Dan Rather" didn't even get a slap on the wrist.
This could be the big one, Elizabeth!
Three powerful bursts of energy from different
regions of space could presage spectacular
explosions of huge stars, astronomers just
announced The eruptions are likely imminent.
A blast of X-rays was spotted Sept. 12,
and another on Sept. 16. Each came from a different
location in the sky and from galaxies far
beyond our own. A more powerful eruption was detected
Sept. 24 from yet another spot in the sky.
This third flash, importantly, was on the verge between an
X-ray eruption and a more energetic gamma-ray
burst, which involves a more powerful form of radiation.
George Ricker of MIT told space.com the stars will likely go supernova 10 to 20 days after the
initial bursts that were spotted. "Each
burst has been beautiful," Ricker said. "Depending on how
these evolve, they could support important
theories about supernova[s] and gamma-ray bursts."
...or ...the beginning of The Second Coming?
Subject: Betty Bowers's
message to Katherine Harris
I've always said that, if I had a chance
to hang out with any celebrity that
I would choose a poker game, John Madden
and a 12 pack
(barring heavenly intervention for a date
with Renee Zellweger)
But I think small dinner party with Betty
Bowers in the place of honor now trumps both.
This is one sassy broad.
I thought I'd catch hell for printing
that, but no...
Anything that makes me laugh out loud is good to go.
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Hell, it's FREE!
Evidence of Recent Torture in Iraq
by Lisa Ashkenaz Croke and Brian Dominick
An attorney representing former detainees
says his recent fact-finding mission to Baghdad
uncovered dozens of cases of physical and
psychological abuse, sexual humiliation, religious
desecration and rape in ten US-run prisons
throughout occupied Iraq.
Perhaps the most disturbing evidence Akeel
found suggesting an overarching policy of abuse
comes in the form of first-hand accounts
that captors singled out religiously observant prisoners
for particularly harsh abuse.
Bush was lucky there wasn't enough time
to explore Bush's prison abuse in the debate.
Subject: You are the big
You are The Big Hammer and a kickass guy
and we love you for it.
No one can be all things to all people.
We have seen some of the criticism lately,
but this is how we feel:
If you want pure civility, there are plenty
of places to go, on the Net and otherwise.
Bartcop is a place for reality and laughs.
God knows, we will all go insane if we
cannot laugh, no matter how off the wall
Bart tries his dead-level best to get us
all to fight back against the Fascism Creep
we all see around us, if we are not freakin'
blind! So, what the hell is wrong with that?
If there had been a Bartcop in Germany
in the 30's maybe WWII would have never
taken over all of Europe and half the Pacific.
We love you Bart! Keep hammering!
When Bush is ahead by 3 points, media whores
shamelessly bellow out "BUSH BY A LANDSLIDE!!!"
Now that Kerry is ahead by 3 points, they
time saying that it is a statistical tie
or dead heat.
FOX was just plain rediculous Friday morning
attempting damage control and CNN
downplayed the debates after it was clear
that Kerry was the pretzel in Bush's windpipe.
Boost for Kerry
Feel free to suck on that, Junior
Kerry was widely rated the winner of the
first debate, giving his campaign a boost
and raising Democratic hopes that the White
House race would grow tighter.
Although the experts continued to
afford the Monkey the edge - and public opinion will
take some time to sort out - the consensus
after Debate One was that Kerry helped his cause.
He held his own, observers said, against
an incumbent who seemed peevish and childish
throughout much of their nationally televised
Strategists on both sides agreed that Thursday
heightened the stakes for the next debate.
I believe that underlined statement to be true.
One big debate has not cured months of slumber, but it's
a giant step towards winning.
In Edwards serves up chopped Cheney, and Kerry slaps the Monkey
again this Friday,
then I think we will have taken the lead in this race for the
first time in months.
Subject: why Kerry won
There's a lot of discussion about why Kerry
beat Bush in the debate.
Bush supporters are claiming that Jim Lehrer
was biased and gave Bush harder questions
than he gave Kerry. Some say it was
because of camera angles and that Kerry was taller.
Although the problem with Kerry being taller
was made worse because Bush slumped at the podium,
making him shorter. Some people think that
Kerry took unfair advantage of Bush because Kerry is smarter.
But I have a different opinion.
I think Kerry had the advantage in the debate
because reality was on his side. Iraq has become a quagmire
and it's now obvious that invading Iraq
was a bad decision. The economy is in shambles and so is foreign policy.
Bush has used poor judgment for the last
4 years and because of that - it made it easier for Kerry to argue his
Bush would have had the advantage if he
had a record of success to run on rather than a record of failure.
It seem that if a sitting president wants
to have an advantage in a presidential debate - that doing a good job
would be a good debate strategy.
I'm Marc Perkel - And I approved this message!
San Francisco, CA
I continue to get mail asking why the members section appears
to be "broke."
It's not broke, it's just incomplete.
If you read the regular page and then click on the members section,
you might see the skeleton template for tomorrow's page and not
It looks incomplete because it saves time to leave a word from
and the "Click Here" and the "Excerpt" and the blue type
It saves wear & tear on my tennis elbow that is now Vioxx-free.
If you check back in 3 hours, you'll see a few stories.
If you check back in 6 hours, you'll see a more stories.
If you check back at midnight, you'll see most of tomorrow's
Best time to check the members page is in the morning, when most
of it is up.
That give you a chance to be published in that issue because
if you read something
Tuesday morning and send me an e-mail, your mail will be on top
of the pile as that
day's issue is ready for its targeted 1 PM Central Standard Time
It's not broke, it's just not ready to take out of the oven -
"I've been to a lot of summits. I've never
seen a meeting
that would depose a tyrant, or bring
a terrorist to justice."
-- The Bush Monkey, snarling
at the TV cameras Thursday night Attribution
But Monkey, is that why you never held a meeting on terrorism
prior to 9-11?
Is that why Cheney's Task Force on Terrorism never met, not even
Are meetings bad because it's too much like education?
Or do you hate having meetings because others discover how stupid
Monkey Chides Kerry on Domestic Programs
Nothing is more dangerous than the BFEE facing the loss of everything
"He's decided to put his faith in the wisdom
of the government," lied the Monkey who gave us
the biggest government in all of history.
"I will always put my faith in the wisdom of the American people."
claimed the Chimp who heads the most secretive
government in history.
"For the last two years, I've traveled all over
this country and listened to the stories of Americans struggling
to make ends meet," Kerry said in prepared
remarks. "I've also shared their frustration at this administration's
constant state of denial, which neglects
Repeating the theme he hit during the first
Kerry said, "America's Monkey has a four-word
plan - more of the same."
twitches when I'm behind.
lost that debate, but my eye's not twitching,
that proves I'm still ahead of the War Hero."
"Pessimism about Iraq seems to be in fashion,
with leaders such as John Kerry
and Kofi Annan implying that the world
would be better off if Hussein had never
been toppled. (A stuipid lie from thr Whore Street Journal) So it's been more than
a little refreshing to hear the message
of hope, resolve and gratitude delivered by
puppet) Ayad Allawi during his U.S. visit
--Wall Street Journal Editorial, lying to their right-ring readers Attribution
In the 20 months since Bush began his Baghdad murder spree, I've
never once heard
anybody say they wish Saddam was still in power - the WSJ is
just lying again - but
there are 1061 military families that probably wish Bush had
never stumbled into this quagmire.
Brown with "Boondocks" after the First Debate
You gotta read this - it's short and funny as hell
Subject: Debate responses
So far, no one is commenting about
when Kerry used a quote from
the Bush 41 autobiography; on why he didn't
go on to Baghdad in Gulf War I.
Why hasn't the press or even the independent
news sites tapped in to that?
When Kerry mention that Bush 41 didn't go
in to Baghdad because
there was no clear and concise exit strategy,
I yelled out:
"BOOM BABY...THAT'S A HOME RUN! THE MAN
But yet no one is even talking about it?!?!
Pete, I know the answer, but it's hard to explain.
Everyone knows Bush 41 pardoned Reagan's cabinet to hide their
global felonies, but we don't talk about it.
We know the Bush fortune was built on Jewish slave labor in Hitler's
Nazi the death camps, but we don't talk about it.
We know Bush was caught with cocaine and did community service,
but we don't talk about it.
We know it was unconstitutional for Texas residents Bush &
Cheney to run on the same ticket, but we don't talk about it.
The difference is talk radio and the GOP echo chamber.
They take one sliver of half-truth, like that fella who was buried
at Arlington, and turn it
into six months of wall-to-wall, non-stop, 24/7 bullying
and badgering and lying
that "Clinton peed on our dead military
heroes" because that's a fun story that'll sell.
Talk radio exists mainly for Republicans to scream at the black
man and the gays and since Clinton was a friend
to the black man - he had to fall. That's why racist sons of
bitches from The Arkansas Project (read or see
of the President) were running impeachment, along with the
tobacco senators and the turned-whore
scumbags of the Washington press corps.
You can sign a $280M contract if you scream nonsense about "Clinton's
Death List," but talking facts
about the Bush family? No money in that, ...and whores always follow the money
But the truth?
There's no profit in telling the truth.
fans celebrate Suzuki's historic hit
258 hits in one season has never been
St. Helens Erupts After 18 Years
Pressure for another blow is building
wins place on Arkansas ballot
Bush's best weapon is getting help from GOP to screw
Shuts Theater Showing 'Anacondas'
There's a real snake loose in the theater somewhere...
Order yours from the BartCop Bookstore
my banana - right now!!"
Ad Says Bush Lost Debate, Then Lied
The new ad will run at least in all the
places where Bush airs his "Global Test."
The Bush ad is scheduled to go on the air
Monday on national cable networks.
That ad refers to Kerry's comment in the
debate that a pre-emptive strike must pass
"the global test where your countrymen, your
people understand fully why you're doing
what you're doing and you can prove to
the world that you did it for legitimate reasons."
The Bush ad called it the "Kerry doctrine,"
and asked: "So we must seek permission
from foreign governments before protecting
Will America catch on to never-elected President
Liar? Kerry said if the country and
the whole world hates what
you're planning, maybe it's not such a good idea, comparing
Bush II's madness to Bush I's war in 1991
that actually had most of the world's support.
But the facts won't serve the Illegal Emporer, so he must lie.
I got an email from a pillar saying he'd never heard the radio
He said the sound wasn't working in his computer, but remember,
BCR CDs play in any CD player, in your car, in your home
Subject: beware the October
The Dirty Tricks are coming, watch, wait
It's not over until we wake up Nov 3 with
a new commander in chief.
Rich, Bush is still "pResident" until noon, January 20th, 2005.
That means he's got the power to declare martial law and other
I'll feel better when Kerry is locked inside the White House
and Smirky McWarhardon
is back in Crawford, a defeated, never-elected, one-term loser.
Since Bush lost the foreign policy debate,
what chance does he have with the domestic?
Subject: my arrest for
Just thought I would pass this sadly true
short story on to you.
In my job as a sales executive I take customers
out to dinner all the time.
The day that Yousef Islam (AKA Cat Stevens)
got deported I was out with
some Canadian customers for dinner at Gibsons,
one of Chicago's best steak houses.
I will never eat there again.
After dinner we were waiting outside the
door of Gibson's for one of my customers.
We started talkin about George Bush and
the disbelief the Canadians had that he
would actually get reelected. I yelled
out "Bush SUCKS" to highlight my own disbelief
and instantly a Chicago police officer
was in my face telling me not to say another word.
I did not vocalize another word, yet mouthed
"Bush Sucks". I was instantly put in handcuffs
and hauled away to jail, leaving my Canadian
customers standing on the corner in greater disbelief.
After they placed me in the police car
the sales associate from Canada, an upstanding 60 year old
man tried to talk to the police about me.
The officer said that if he did not want to join me he
should back away, which he understandably
When I got out of jail the next morning
at 6AM I met the customers at their hotel and they all
to a man offered to be witnesses at what
they deemed an over zealous police officer. They also
were in shock at the apparent lack of free
speech in this country. I will be appearing in court on
November 16th to answer the charge of disorderly
I was hoping that you could post this
so that a legal minded reader
of your site may contact me and represent
You may remember me from the Chicago pokerfest,
I helped run one of the tables. I am really
freaked out here and now know that I have
to move back to Canada. I don't want to leave the
greatest country in the world, but I can't
help feel that this is 1933 and if I stay till 1937 it will be too late.
If a man of peace such as Cat Stevens is
not wanted here, than maybe I don't want to be here either.
At least not in jail for speaking my mind.
Trevor, of course we remember you.
You and Vegas Dave and Buck helped run the show.
If anyone can help Trevor, please send an e-mail to email@example.com.
He's a good guy who doesn't deserve to get rolled.
Marty Sheen, for four years, the real president
Get your bartcop stickers!
Then send in your digital pictures.
Send a stamped envelope to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
But if you send a token donation
we will not be offended.
These Badlands Start Treating Us Good
by David Swanson
A tight spotlight focused on Bruce Springsteen
after he'd entered the stage in Philadelphia on Friday night
and bent over his guitar without a word.
And without a word he gave new meaning to the Star Spangled Banner.
And on came the E-Street Band, and the
stage lit up, and they gave new meaning to "Born in the USA."
They picked the tempo and the volume up
a notch as they jumped into "Badlands" and gave a new meaning
to every lyric. The sold-out crowd didn't
sit down or stop moving for the two and a half hours that followed
the two hours of opening acts (Bright Eyes
and REM). And not a single song failed to find a new meaning for
the upcoming presidential election, because
this was not just a concert to raise money in the Wachovia Center
("A Comcast Venue," one in a collection
of luxury sports arenas sprawled outside a suffering city and erected
at the expense of the public that must
be searched for weapons when it enters them). This was the Vote for
Change tour the night after the first Kerry-Bush
debate, and we could taste the change coming.
From: Faun Otter
Everything Otter sends is pure gold
side by side Polish quotes
My opponent says we didn't have any allies
in this war.
What's he say to Alexander Kwasniewski
George Bush Minor,
In the worst ever debate performance by
any Presidential candidate, September 30, 2004
Apparently whatever George said to Aleksander
was not appreciated...
"I also feel uncomfortable due to the fact that
we were misled with the information on WMDs,"
Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski,
Warsaw, Poland, March 18, 2004
Kerry: Secondly, when we went in, there
were three countries: Great Britain, Australia
and the United States. That's not a grand
coalition. We can do better.
BUSH: Well, actually, he forgot Poland.
George Wanker Bush, The C student in a moment
of brilliance??? September 30, 2004
Let's see if Big John was right or if Shorty
Bush had caught him in an error:
August 1, 2003 SZCZECIN, Poland - More than
2,000 Polish soldiers left for Iraq yesterday,
the first in a series of deployments."
Score yet another one for Kerry.
As best I can make out from my calendar,
March appears to occur well before July 31.
Well done, Dude.
We didn't know then, but we know now.
C-SPAN showed the entire debate on split screen, so C-SPAN viewers
saw more of the smirking smart-ass than the viewers of any other
Let's watch C-SPAN tomorrow night for the Edwards-Snarl debate
- and by the way...
I'd like for Edward's debate to sound something like this...
"Hailed as heroes?"
"No bid contracts?"
"Saddam's WMDs launching in 45 minutes?"
"al qaeda and Saddam?"
"No need for Geneva conventions?
"I made my fortune without any government help?"
(from the Lieberman debacle)
"We know exactly wherre the WMDs are, around Tikrit?"
"Aug 6 PDB, "Osama is coming soon using airplanes?"
"On vacation 40 percent of the time?"
"Where are Iraq's 2 million barrels a day going?
"Energy panel secrets comtempt of court?"
"How can you live with that crazy bitch?"
"Secret, shadow government?"
"Who told the planes to stand down on 9-11?"
"Why did you have to hold his hand for 9-11 testimony?"
"Why couldn't you be under oath for the 9-11 testimony?"
"Can your Chimp even read?"
"Is your defibulator working? Your nipples are
"Explain the 'market forces' that allowed
your Enron partners to steal
$500M in one day from California because
you refused to intervene."
"My opponent says we didn't have any allies
in this war.
What's he say to Tony Blair? What's
he say to Alexander Kwasniewski of Poland?"
--Dubya, in Thursday night's debate, Attribution
means Bush) deceived us about the
weapons of mass destruction, that's true.
We were taken for a ride."
-Alexander Kwasniewski, Attribution
If the Florida Hurricane tracks map recently
published was a fake,
you owe it to your readers to do
a search and publish one that actually
shows the actual track and Bush/Gore counties.
Only apologizing for the error still leaves
egg on your face.
Jack, I don't recall apologizing for that.
I don't have a staff or a research team.
I can't put the page on hold and research every story and graphic
that comes my way.
That's why you should always think for yourself and verify those
facts if they're important for you.
It's always a bad idea to follow someone blindly.
...and if you have that graphic, why didn't you send it?
Click for more info
/ to order
"That's what he stands for, that's who he stands
for, that's who he fights for,
and if you give him the chance, that's
what he'll do for four more years."
Kerry, accusing Dubya of favoring the wealthy over the worker, Attribution
middle-class guy from humble origins..."
Exit Strategy Sparks Succession Fever
Newspapers said Brown was kept in the dark
over both Blair's "full third term" decision
and the fact the 51-year-old premier was
about to go into hospital for a heart operation.
Brown supporters said the finance minister
only heard of Blair's plans when he arrived in
Washington for a G7 meeting on Thursday,
just hours before Blair told the nation.
"I can't believe he's done this," the Guardian
newspaper quoted one Brown aide as saying.
"It's like an African coup. They waited until
he (Brown) was out of the country."
I'm so old, I remember when Tony Blair was a decent guy...
Subject: How do you like
Hell, there was never a doubt in my mind
that you supported Kerry.
I have read some great talking points that
you suggested that Kerry and his team
begin to use and I be damn if I do believe
they are reading and taking your suggestions.
You are exactly right when you said, "you
are not the enemy".
I would say you're a damn good friend to
Kerry and all of us that support Kerry,
and another thing for these past several
years reading your opinions, I can truthfully say,
you do not say what folks want you to say.
Hell, I can recall telling you that in this
if Kerry is going to be a bear then he
better be a damn grizzley.
Yep sure enough he was, and Bart you keep
the hammer pounding
and pour yourself another shot of Chinaco.
You deserve it Bart.
And to answer your question, I like the 'Debate Kerry' tons
more than the
"I don't want anybody fighting back
at this convention," Kerry.
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Kerry's 1971 testimony before congress FREE!
Don't let the lying scumbags tell
you what he said,
listen to it yourself, then correct them.
soldier body count in Iraq
1043, 1054, 1059,
1061 dead American soldiers.
"I'm sorry I got us into this quagmire...."
--words Bush is unable to say
"Bush looked like a man who showed up for a
nine-minute debate and was terrified
to find it was a 90-minute debate.
After nine minutes he'd run out of Karl Rove's one-liners."
--Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Bushrubberstamp, Attribution
Subject: Bush's Immature
I've watched all the talking heads on the
news describe in turn how
Bush looked "angry" and "digusted" when
hearing Kerry's statements
and rebuttals during the debate. They seem
to have given Bush's emotions
far too much weight by describing them
strong, forceful terms.
Bush didn't look like an angry man; Nixon
looked like an angry man.
Bush looked like a little kid whose mother
took him clothes shopping
on a Saturday when he wanted to stay at
home and play his X-Box.
His outbursts of "I KNOW Osama Bin Laden
attacked us" and "I KNOW how
the world works", further illustrate Bush's
juvenille, egocentric mindset when it
comes to being challenged on his belief
system and actions.
Yeah, when the loyalty oathes are signed
and it's Bush's party, with all the wealthy
conservatives, holy rollers, Nascar dads,
neocons, and Stepford Wives cheering
him on, Bush can spin his bullshit with
all the "down home" flavor of a country
hog roast, but when he has to stand there,
in the theater of cold reason, and defend
his postions, he is a childish moron.
This is a president who is carefully "handled"
by his team. He is the crafted figure head
with which Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rumsfield,
etc have used to hijack our democracy for
their own fanatical agenda.
But Bush, he's the pampered, spoiled son
of priviledge who, after a long irresponsible binge,
cleaned up and found Jesus. And he knows
how the world works, goddammit. And if you
don't agree with him, well he is going
to pout, make faces, and stamp his feet like a toddler
who is refused a piece of candy.
Just some thoughts,
MW, that was well put, and I totally agree.
He had "How dare you question
my decisions?" on his face the whole time.
This is the Monkey who's handlers tell him he's never made a mistake.
I'll bet they told him he won that debate, then kept him away
from the TV and newspapers.
be on BartCop Radio?
If so, make the call.
Do you have an opinion?
Then listen for your call on...
You have two minutes to record your message.
Subject: a simple challenge
I challenge you to do 2 simple things.
One, publish this letter unadulterated on your site.
Two, answer the questions I posed in the
He got me!
Kerry won the first debate, but the BFEE's not going without a
They're more dangerous right now than at any time in history.
They've had a taste of unlimited money and power.
They are NOT going to give that up with a smile.
If Bush wins, you'll
need bartcop.com to stay sane.
If Kerry wins, the media
will do their very best destroy him.
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It had everything.
© 2004, bartcop.com
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This is the first non-Tommy show in over six months.
All of it was mixed and edited by Ol' Bart,
so it wouldn't hurt to do a few shots up front.
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30 minutes of Bart's expert news and comment
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33 minutes Bart, with lots of praise for
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34 minutes Bart's beatdown of the lying
Bush/Allawi press conference
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Shrl, call The BartPhone,
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That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The
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