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  Update: 1:45 Central The Hell that is Joplin   This map is NOT showing what's going on. Right now it's raining hard in Joplin and it's about to get a lot worse. Tulsa radar suggests in the next hour, Joplin will get slammed with a new round of severe storms with lightning and possibly more tornadoes. The pounding should last three hours or so. |
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Show 172 is up Links at bottom of page. |
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Weekend-Monday, May 20-23, 2011 Vol 2694 - Milk run
  Quote of the Day "There are many reasons why Palinmight leave Alaska: Palin's popularity in her home state is rapidly dwindling. A new poll has her less popular in Alaska right now than Barack Obama." -- The Atlantic Wire, Link |
In
Today's Tequila Treehouse...
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One Hundred and Fifty Million Zombies. Sixty Million Dogs. All of them hungry for warm human flesh.
The dead have risen, killing anyone they find. The living know what's caused it - a vicious contagion.
But it's too late to stop it.
Kindle $5.95
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Quotes
"In the end, I was able to resolve every competing consideration but one: the interests and wishes of
my family, is the most important consideration of all. If I have disappointed you, I will always be sorry.”
-- Mitch Daniels, lying about the reasons he's not running for president, Link
Send e-mail to Bart
"In the end, I was able to resolve every competing consideration but one: the interests and wishes of
my family, is the most important consideration of all. If I have disappointed you, I will always be sorry.”
-- Mitch Daniels, lying about the reasons he's not running for president, Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Stupid Apocalypse Tricks
Mrs. Bart told me she heard of a group of pranksters who were going to strike
at 5 PM Saturday - when Jesus was due to ride into Tulsa on a giant cloud.
First thing, they filled some blow-up sex dolls with helium. At 5 PM, they released
these dolls and watch people's reaction to being left out of the "Mass Ascension."
The second part of the trick was to dump small piles of clothes on the downtown sidewalks.
BTW, I heard one of those Rapture hustlers on CNN saying,
"There's still time to beg for God's mercy."
Really?
The all-loving God is going to slaughter billions of people for not begging hard enough?
How could any thinking person buy into such hooey?
Send e-mail to Bart
Mrs. Bart told me she heard of a group of pranksters who were going to strike
at 5 PM Saturday - when Jesus was due to ride into Tulsa on a giant cloud.
First thing, they filled some blow-up sex dolls with helium. At 5 PM, they released
these dolls and watch people's reaction to being left out of the "Mass Ascension."
The second part of the trick was to dump small piles of clothes on the downtown sidewalks.
BTW, I heard one of those Rapture hustlers on CNN saying,
"There's still time to beg for God's mercy."
Really?
The all-loving God is going to slaughter billions of people for not begging hard enough?
How could any thinking person buy into such hooey?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Protect IP bullshit
We knew that members of Congress and their business allies were gearing up to pass a revised
Internet Blacklist Bill -- which more than 325,000 Demand Progress members helped block
last winter -- but we never expected it to be this atrocious.
Last year's bill has been renamed the "PROTECT IP" Act and it is far worse than its predecessor.
Senators Leahy and Hatch pretended to weigh free speech concerns as they revised the bill.
Instead, the new legislation would institute a China-like censorship regime in the United States,
whereby the Department of Justice could force search engines, browsers, and service providers
to block users' access to websites, and scrub the American Internet clean of any trace of their existence.
Will you urge Congress to oppose the PROTECT IP Act? Just click here:
Last Thursday, in his "Muslim speech" Obama chided countries that would block the Internet.
Meanwhile, that coward Leahy is trying to block the Internet?
Leahy is the biggest coward in the senate.
Send e-mail to Bart
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Quotes
"You have to wonder why producer Nigel Lythgoe even bothered to launch "CMT's Next Superstar."
He already has a country talent competition. It's called "American Idol." Because its final two are
...country singers. Now it's country vs. country, apples vs. apples. Is it really going to be all that thrilling
to find out who wins? Let's just call it a tie, give them record deals and watch "The Voice" instead."
-- Idol viewers everywhere Link
Yeah, they really screwed that up.
Why fix a contest and then have it end so badly?
Country vs Country?
Idol is saying there are more Country fans than Pop fans, Rock fans and Soul fans COMBINED?
When you win Idol, they force you to sing a syrupy "Wing Beneath My Wings" song for a YEAR,
but how's that going to sound with Scotty's hard-core Country twang?
Who's going to hire these two country kids?
FOX Network, that's all, in an attempt to prove they're somehow relevant.
Sure, they'll get to sing the National Anthem at some FOX sports events,
but they're destined for the Trivia Pile, just like the last 5 winners.
Lee DeWise, Kris Allen, David Cook, Jordin Sparks and the worst Idol ever - Taylor Hicks.
Go ahead - put those five on one stage and see if 500 people show up.
How can the biggest show on TV get things so wrong?
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"You see pictures of World War II, the devastation and all that with the bombing.
That's really what it looked like. I couldn't even make out the side of the building.
It was total devastation in my view. I just couldn't believe what I saw."
-- Kerry Sachetta, the principal of a flattened Joplin, Missouri High School, Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Will San Francisco ban circumcision?
7,700 people signed the petition, vote in November
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Who's
holding the Bartcop sticker?
Last issue's sticker mystery...
Bart, the one in the middle is "Democracy Now" founder Amy Goodman
Raji
Send e-mail to Bart
Last issue's sticker mystery...
Bart, the one in the middle is "Democracy Now" founder Amy Goodman
Raji
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Obama killed OBL
Obama gave the order and the seals did the job.
There is no way in hell that Bush and company had Osama on ice.
If that were the case that would have been their October Surprise
and it would have handed the election to McCain.
Scott G
Scott, good point.
Instead, our October Surprise was Bush's massive stock market crash.
Send e-mail to Bart
Obama gave the order and the seals did the job.
There is no way in hell that Bush and company had Osama on ice.
If that were the case that would have been their October Surprise
and it would have handed the election to McCain.
Scott G
Scott, good point.
Instead, our October Surprise was Bush's massive stock market crash.
Send e-mail to Bart
Bristol living with a Black man
Can Palin survive this inter-racial scandal?
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail.
There is no heaven or afterlife for broken-down computers; that is a fairy story
for people afraid of the dark."
-- Stephen Hawking, who sounds like he's been reading bartcop.com Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: pets and the Rapture
That web site has almost 250 rubes who paid them $135
to pick up their pets right after the rapture on Saturday.
The owner was quoted saying they "don't expect to have anything to do on Saturday."
So, this guy has made over 33K off these nutcases, but it's not fraud when they defraud themselves!!!
-Joanne from Wisconsin
Damn, why didn't *I* think of that?
I could really use $33K.
But it might prove a theory of mine:
Out of, say, 100M Christians, only 250 really believed what they claim they believe.
Send e-mail to Bart
"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail.
There is no heaven or afterlife for broken-down computers; that is a fairy story
for people afraid of the dark."
-- Stephen Hawking, who sounds like he's been reading bartcop.com Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: pets and the Rapture
That web site has almost 250 rubes who paid them $135
to pick up their pets right after the rapture on Saturday.
The owner was quoted saying they "don't expect to have anything to do on Saturday."
So, this guy has made over 33K off these nutcases, but it's not fraud when they defraud themselves!!!
-Joanne from Wisconsin
Damn, why didn't *I* think of that?
I could really use $33K.
But it might prove a theory of mine:
Out of, say, 100M Christians, only 250 really believed what they claim they believe.
Send e-mail to Bart
Quotes
"Behold, the notoriously unreliable Jesus has penciled in the Rapture for this weekend.
Have you put down a deposit (cash only!) on your fabulous golden mansion in Glory?
There is already a wait-list for the more desirable pearly-gated communities. Don't be left
with a 1 BR condo with linoleum floors an no view of the unsaved being slaughtered!
Call me, Betty Bowers, for all your afterlife realty needs!
-- Betty Bowers, last Thursday on Facebook
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Religions that ignore Reality (written May 19th)
The world is not going to end on Saturday. Most people whether they are religious or not look at this
"Family Radio" group as a bunch of nuts. However most Christians believe that the world is going to
end in some sort of rapture just as Family Radio does. So really the only difference between what
Family Raido believe and mainstream Christianity is the date.
If one group is nuts then it seems to me that both are nuts.
In the reality based world we know the universe will continue to exist for trillions of years.
We know this planet will still be here for a few billion more years. The only question is how long
the Earth will be habitable by humans.
As a Realist I understand that decisions have consequences and that this chunk of rock we live on
is our home and will be the home for our children and grandchildren. If we are going to survive
and thrive we have to take care of our home and make good choices based on reality, not God.
I see the belief systems of Christians to be dangerous because if you believe that the world is
going to end then you are less likely to take responsibility to make good decisions. So we Realists
don't see a lot of difference between the Christians who think the world is going to be destroyed by
God on Saturday and the Christians who believe God is going to destroy the world on some other date.
Marc Perkel
I have a possibly-related question:
Which church figure decided that we had to lie to kids about the Grand Canyon?
Who made the decision to divorce reality and go with the dinosaurs/people fairytale?
Who made the scientific facts unaccptable to believers?
Someone made that stupid decision - do we know who that is?
Wouldn't more people believe if they didn't add all that extra horseshit?
Wouldn't churchs have more parishoners (and thus more money) if they stuck to the facts?
It's like having a perfectly good chocolate cake, then some believer runs over
and blows their nose all over the cake - who did that and why did they do it?
Send e-mail to Bart
\The GOP has such shit for candidates,
some are looking to Jon Huntsman to save them.
Jon who?
I have a rule - if I've never heard of you,
you can't be president.
Subject: My brain is defective
Link
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Subject: Hiroshima and Nagasaki - other options?
Link
A serious debate about the events of August, 1945
Send e-mail to Bart
Five worst states for a pot bust
Of course, OK is #1, then TX, FL, LA and AZ
Pot is the only thing worse than Sharia law :)
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Hiroshima and Nagasaki - other options?
Link
A serious debate about the events of August, 1945
Send e-mail to Bart
A levee protects a home surrounded by floodwater near Vicksburg, Mississippi.
Is Batshit smarter than a 10th Grader?
She's been challenged - but no way she'll risk losing
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Re: Hayden Panettiere dumps Bigfoot
Dude...
Recently I wrote of yer "Impeccable Logic" concerning the OBL take-down debate
and now you come up the 'Impeccable Common Sense' of yer Hayden dumps Bigfoot remark
"Of course, I wouldn't call him that to his face"
... LOL...
What other 'pearls' do ya have up yer sleeve?
BadtotheboneBob
Hey, Bigfoot is not only big, ugly and mean - he's also a heavyweight boxer.
I'm an atheist - there are no 72 virgins waiting for me :)
Whoever she dates next is going to seem like Barney Fife.
Send e-mail to Bart
Paralyzed man stands, walks
Link
In 2009, doctors implanted an electrical stimulator onto the lining of his spinal cord to try
waking up his damaged nervous system. Within days, Rob Summers, 25, stood without help.
Months later, he wiggled his toes, moved his knees, ankles and hips, and was able to take a
few steps on a treadmill.
"It was the most incredible feeling," said Summers, of Portland, Oregon.
"After not being able to move for four years..."
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: Come on, Rapture!
Hey Bart,
The wife and I are sure looking forward to the Rapture on Saturday!
We won't be "called up", but we are excited thinking about how much we can
get done to improve our country once all the evangelicals disappear in a flash of light.
The I.Q. of the country should jump at least 30 points by Sunday morning!
Tony the Razorback
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: The subject is torture
Link
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Even if business is slow,
let people know you're still here.
I don't get how the GOP intends to sell this voucher idea.
"Instead of paying for most of your old age medical costs,
we'll give you a coupon for 25% off your medical bills."
So when you have that heart attack or surgery,
you'll owe $50,000 and you can't file bankruptcy.
Of course, we could always tax the super-rich
but the GOP says that's a "non-starter."
New Feature: Who's that Celebrity?
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Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: 1/4 readers think OBL is alive
The fact that many of us are inclined to believe damn near anything any foreigner says
is that we are now completely convinced that we cannot believe anything told to us by
our own government or it's puppet media.
In any international debate the safest bet is nearly always against the word of our own leaders.
Time and again it has been shown that blind patriotic support of our own nations' rationale and
explanations costs us dearly, in dollars, lives and especially national esteem. We know with
absolute certainty that our leaders will tell any lie and commit any act in order to gain control
over a market or a resource.
Today's militarist Sparta-like America is addicted to the spoils of war and has become a
psychopathic nation; a country with no effective conscience, and only a weak and muffled
sub-conscience that is being bludgeoned to death by those who have made themselves the
majority by replacing the one man-one vote ethic with a one dollar-one vote farce of a Democracy..
Tim in Ky
Tim, what I heard there was "Obama and Cheney are the same."
I disagree with that.
I think Obama will certainly lie to us when he has to, but the Bush bastards lied for sport.
They felt like they owned the country and the little people shouldn't ask any questions.
Sure, you have to be suspicious of your government,
but that doesn't mean everyone is lying all the time.
Subject: some believe OBL died long ago
Bart, the ACTUAL Taliban and many foreign newspapers announced he died in December of 2001.
Which is why you never actually saw a VIDEO of the guy since then.
"(Osama bin Laden) suffered serious complications and died a natural, quiet death. He was buried
in Tora Bora, a funeral attended by 30 Al Qaeda fighters, close members of his family and friends
from the Taliban. By the Wahhabi tradition, no mark was left on the grave."
- Egyptian newspaper AlWafd - Daily Dec 26, 2001
Meanwhile back at your webpage....
> Obama has bet his presidency on the fact that OBL is dead.
How could history prove he's lying, he's already been dead.
It's actually brilliant propaganda on Obama's part.
Sonja Red
What if the captain of the The USS Carl Vinson denies they buried him at sea?
What if a member of SEAL Team Six denies they flew into Pakistan?
There's lots of ways for a political lie to be exposed.
Send e-mail to Bart
I'm trying to get all the ID tags off these snippets.
Send e-mail to Bart
American Idol's List of Lies
Link
Send e-mail to Bart
2 minute video, need speakers, safe for work
Subject: Your 'Guess the City' feature is too easy
C'mon Bart...
That's just way too easy.
I don't even participate in these contests with any regularity...
All it took was a google search of the phrase "stadium with flower petal moving roof"
and the first result was this mystery city.
Given that this little contest is a big ol' rip off of the despised Andrew Sullivan's contest
"View from your window" you might as well mimic well, and pick harder views.
Justin the know-it-all
PS. Your site still looks like something that was put together in 1997 (oh wait.. it was...).
Justin, I don't get it.
You brag about what a great speller you are - with a dictionary in your hand.
And screw you for saying I ripped off Andrew Sullivan.
I had no idea he has a "View from your window" feature, whatever that is.
Each Bartcop issue takes 10-12 hours to produce.
I don't have time to read Andrew Sullivan's blog - or any other blogs.
Send e-mail to Bart
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Check out the news and toons at
on the Bart Blog!
Bart, I went to that Javalina Mexican
restaurant in Sedona, AZ
Thanks for the tip! The food was great as well as the location.
Thanks for the tip! The food was great as well as the location.
Loved the train ride to and from the Grand
Canyon
as well as the canyon itself
as well as the canyon itself
Paul In Carlsbad
Paul, thanks for that.
We've never done that train to the Grand Canyon.
Maybe someday we'll be able to afford it :)
Guess the City
Link
I don't know, either, so send proof.
If you don't click, odds are this'll be your home town
and your friends will wonder why you didn't recognize it.
Subject: last issue's mystery city
Last issue's mystery city was revealed by Justin the know-it-all
Send e-mail to Bart
Today's History Mystery
Link
Do YOU, the reader, have a not-too-obscure History Mystery picture?
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: last issue's history mystery
What is last issue's History Mystery?
Bart, that would be a couple of bicycle mechanics named Wilbur and Orville Wright.
Patrick in Lawton, MI
Send e-mail to Bart
Subject: donation
Bart, here's a long overdue donation from a long time reader.
You may have lost Bob in Prague but you still have Bob in Buffalo.
Keep swing the hammer!
Bob in Buffalo
PS. Hell no! I don't agree with you on everything!
Bob, thanks for that.
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