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Thursday  Feb 14, 2013    Vol 3015 - Valentine's Day

The right to bear ray-guns
Bruce Yurgil

In Today's Tequila Treehouse...

Arrow Rubio: Govt Can't Change Weather
The Catholic's Sex-Crimes Files
Baseball Hates Their Heroes
Arrow Trouble Liking Obama
Arrow Next Pope Odds and Ends
Arrow Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse
Arrow Screen Star  Evan Rachel Wood



"Happy birthday, Abraham Lincoln, who has as much to do
  with the modern GOP as Homer does with the Honda Odyssey."
  --  LOLGOP in a tweet

  Send e-mail to Bart

Rubio: Govt Can't Change Weather
"I hates science and God agrees with me."

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Birther Teabagger) dismissed the idea that the U.S. government
could do anything to
combat climate change Wednesday."

"The government can’t change the weather. We can pass a bunch of laws that will destroy our
economy, but it isn’t going to change the weather," Rubio said on Fox and Whores.

"Because, for example, there are other countries that are polluting in the atmosphere much
greater than we are at this point -- China, India, all these countries that are still growing.
They’re not going to stop doing what they’re doing."

So, if your neighbors are peeing in your swimming pool,
you might as well pee in it too, right, Marco?

And who will you blame when your pool water turns green, then yellow?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Shop Online  sells  everything

Find your purchase
then come back here
and use this link

and they'll throw the Treehouse some pennies...

Amazon business has been slower than usual.
I hope things pick up between now and Christmas
because Amazon has become my financial lifeline.

Extra thanks to those of you who
use the Amazon Portal.

Someone bought  6 cases of Coffee-Mate Chocolate Creamer
for $143 (cheap!) so Amazon donated $5.30 to the Treehouse! 

I think everyone should have enough coffee creamer
to be charged with possession with intent to deliver

Thanks for using this link

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The Catholic's Sex-Crimes Files
High-level conspiracy covered up decades of sexual abuse

The five co-defendants sit in the Philadelphia courtroom. Father James Brennan,
a 47-year-old priest accused of raping a 14-year-old boy. Edward Avery, a defrocked
priest in his sixties, is mentally very far away. He and two other defendants – Charles
Engelhardt, also in his sixties, and Bernard Shero, a former Catholic schoolteacher in
his forties – are accused of passing around "Billy," a fifth-grade altar boy. According to
the charges, the three men raped and sodomized the 10-year-old, sometimes making
him perform stripteases or getting him drunk on sacramental wine after Mass.

Heinous as the accusations are, the most shocking are those against the fifth defendant,
Monsignor William Lynn. He reported directly to the cardinal, was the trusted custodian
of a trove of documents known as the "Secret Archives files." The files prove that officials
in the upper echelons of the church not only tolerated the widespread sexual abuse of
children by priests but conspired to hide the crimes and silence the victims. Lynn is accused
of having been the archdiocese's sex-abuse fixer, the man who covered up for its priests.

Incredibly, after a scandal that has rocked the church for a generation,
he is the first Catholic official ever criminally charged for the cover-up.

So, they gopt away with decades or centuries of raping little kids until
just recently when the first of the raping bastards was tried and found guilty.

Benny the Rat was their global sex-abuse fixer - he was their enforcer.

"Bart, what if I was to write you a big fat check?"
  Why can't you go after the Jews or Mormons or Muslims?"

  Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Facts prove Teabaggers wrong

 Was playing with the figures from the St Louis Fed and came up with this very straightforward spreadsheet. 

It doesn't seem to show Obama as a mad budget maven determined to increase budgets without end. 
How can I make it show all this wacky spending that Faux tells me about all the time?

Can't someone help me here?

MadSat, it's not about the facts.

It's about the color of Obama's skin.

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Baseball Hates Their Heroes
Pete Rose Erased from Baseball Cards
Who knew many baseball players were Democrats?


Pete Rose, the greatest hitter in baseball history, was erased from baseball by Topps.
The baseball card maker made no mention of the iconic Pete Rose on any baseball card
starting with their 2013 season even though Pete Rose is the MLB all-time hits leader.
Why was Pete Rose erased from baseball history?
Well, while it was called "a simple decision," there was no specific reason given.
However, those who know their baseball will remember that Pete Rose gambled on baseball.
Because of that, he was banned for life. He cannot play, coach, or manage in baseball.
He is banned from the Hall of Fame. Now, he is not even in the records on baseball cards? Wow!

Gambling and marijuana are the two greatest sins you could ever commit.

Why, you can run an organization that regularly rapes children and be a hero to billions,
but gambling that your baseball team can beat another is a sin that cannot be forgiven.

Think how stupid that is - how many of you have played slow-pitch softball
with a keg of beer and the losing team had to pay for the keg. 

Oh no!
That's the crime of all crimes - gambling that you can beat the other team.

But if you've been raping kids for decades...

"Bart, why do I get dragged into every controversy?"

  Send e-mail to Bart

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Why We Have Trouble Liking Obama
  by my good friend Jane Stillwater

Every racist, wing-nut, fanatic, truther, birther and pond-scum in America hates Obama
-- so I should like him just for that reason alone.

Obama is also trying to give us healthcare and to appoint judges on the Supreme Court
who aren't complete corporate shills and/or wannabe neanderthals.  And the Prez is also
trying really hard to drag America up from being ranked 33rd in education.

Obama also represents all of that stuff that I fought for so valiantly back in the 1960s
-- racial equality, a Black man being able to achieve everything a White man can achieve.

So why are we progressives having so much trouble liking Barack Obama right now? 
Five little words.  "Wall Street and War Street".  Too many of our young men and women
in the military are dying needlessly and being used like Kleenex so that large corporations
and weapons manufacturers can make a killing.  Literally.

On the other hand, Obama shut down the war in Iraq and is shutting down the war in Afghanistan.

No matter what, Obama will go down in history as the president who ended two wars,
but some Democrats will always hate their heroes - so why should Obama get a break?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Next Pope Odds and Ends

Courtesy of Bovada, (,  Twitter: @BovadaLV ).

Who will be the next Pope?  

Marc Ouellet (Canada)                           7/2
Francis Arinze (Nigeria)                          4/1
Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson (Ghana)    4/1
Leonardo Sandri (Argentina)                   13/2
Angelo Scola (Italy)                                7/1
Angelo Bagnasco (Italy)                         15/2
Gianfranco Ravasi (Italy)                        8/1
Tarcisio Bertone (Italy)                          16/1
Jorge Mario Bergoglio (Argentina)           20/1
Christoph von Schonborn (Austria)         33/1
Tim Dolan (USA)                                  33/1
Odilo Pedro Scherer (Brazil)                  33/1


If I knew my Cardinals, I could probably pick the next Pope. How?

They're going to elect the most right-wing, woman-hating, child-rape-loving
uber-conservative from the upper inner-circle of back-to-the-Fifties Catholic Crazies.

Benny the Rat stacked the College of Cardinals with like-minded handjobs.
Let's count the days until his toadies nominate Benny the Rat for f-ing Sainthood.

The Cosa Nostra has nothing on these guys when it comes to corruption.
The only difference between Sicily and Rome is Sicily is slightly warmer.

...and you thought Godfather III was fiction?

  Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Benny the Rat

Hi Bart,
I’m sure you’ll be on the story of Benny the Rat’s resignation.
Old age & infirmity my ass!

Could there be a smoking gun regarding decades of cover-ups for sicko priests?
Is there tape? Was he blackmailed?

Keep that BIG hammer swinging – history is on our side!
  Marty in London

Marty, last night I watched Mea Maxima Culpa, the HBO series on the
never-ending Catholic Child Rape Club and their top enforcer, Benny the Rat.
It was very well done - just the facts, Ma'am kind of documentary, which I like.

The worst, perhaps, was the Wisconsin Deaf School rapes. These evil bastards
would mess with the deaf kids whose parents couldn't sign - but the priests could.

So when the parents came to visit, the helpless victim would sign,
"Tell them Father Jones is raping me every fucking day and every fucking night,"
and the priest would turn to the parents and say, "Jimmy loves his life here."

I don't get why these men didn't settle the score when they got older.

If I was 7 and a 40 year old priest raped me, I'd visit him when I was 37 and he
was 70 and I'd beat that sick fuck with my fists until I couldn't beat him no more.

I know Ghandi and Jesus and Michael Dukakis wouldn't approve,
and I know my fellow Democrats would call me "another Cheney" for doing it
but I promise I'd feel a whooooooooole lot better.

I guess that makes me a bad man - I could live with that.


 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Thanks to Eric Perlin

 Subject: PayPal question

Bart, what's Paypal's take when someone uses them to donate?

They get 10% of the first $5, then less as the amount grows higher.

Also, what's their take if someone uses the "buy/donate now, pay in six months" feature?
Generally speaking, businesses don't offer new features unless they get something out of it.
It could be as simple as more people might use their service, thus driving their revenues up,
but I want to make sure you don't get less if I use it. Thanks!
 -Eric from Boston

Eric, not sure how they profit on that 6-months deal.

Even if they make money from people who decide to finance their purchase after six months,

surely that doesn't offset their losses from people who donate and then disappear.

Maybe it's a tool to launder HSBC bank's drug money :)

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Today's Sarah Palin Nude Photo


  Send e-mail to Bart


"THINK ABOUT IT: Would the NRA be opposing the
  Assault Weapons Ban if the last one DIDN'T work?"
   -- LOLGOP in a tweet

  Send e-mail to Bart

There's a reason why some people don't have kids


 Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: Pope's resignation

What's the big deal?  It's not like he did something sane like saying
"We're really sorry that we spent millennia preaching total crap, while separating
fools from their money and at the same time molesting their children.  I know nothing
we do can ever make up for that, but today I am announcing that we are liquidating
ALL church assets, which will be used to support a victim's fund.  Any money leftover
will be given to the truly needy in accordance with the true teachings of Jesus.  As of the
end of 2013, the Catholic Church will cease to function as an organization.  If there is a
God (which by now you should all know there isn't), may he have mercy on our souls
(which of course don't exist either)."

That would be news!

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Marty's Entertainment Page
has new stuff
every day

Marty's TV Listings are the best!

Marty always has good stuff.

Click on the E!

 Subject: We are all indigenous now

Well 2012 went by. But maybe collapse would have been here
if there were never a federal bank that could print money from nowhere.

But since I last spoke to you, I have record reports that US policy installs tyranny in the Congo
for colbalt. Spain massacres indigenous Moroccan's for oil. And the transnational corporate banking
system that has compete control of our government media and justice system cant pay off their debt
because the planet doesn't have it. We are all indigenous now Bart.
  Russell at Ecosutra

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Bartcop's Computer Repair
We can fix your computer

We do the repairs magically, over the Net.

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Get updates when a new issue goes up.

Know Your Classics


 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Bart, that's Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy..
 Pete in KCMO...about to move to Colorado...

 Send Classic Lines to Bart

Today's Scary Don't Look Down Picture


 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: Pope Benny the Rat


I find it interesting that the pope is resigning right after the HBO special
Mea Maximum Culpa on
the Catholic church, which revealed how benny the rat was given all, every single report of child rape
when he was cardinal, and of course did little or nothing about it.  (I don’t know, perhaps it was his porn). 

Anyway, this guy is pure evil and most definitely Mr. Crazy Eyes as my friend likes to call him. 
This special started the week before he resigns.  I also read that once they cloister him (something about
that sounds a bit perverted to me, but then we are talking about perverts aren’t we?), anyway once he is
cloistered, he will be forbidden (as well as protected) from ever testifying about those files/reports. 
Gee, perhaps that is the real reason Mr. “crazy eyes” retired, you think?
  Sue M


 Send e-mail to Bart

Know your Supermodels


Would you be her Valentine?

 Subject: Last issue's supermodel     Link

Bart, is that Vanessa Lorenzo?

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Wildlife Photo




Send e-mail to Bart

 Subject: a little pot experment


  Send e-mail to Bart

Going to Alaska

Mrs Bart has always wanted to go to Alaska and Hawaii.
Thanks to Scott H (Don HO) we got to Hawaii in 2005 and we thought we'd
better go to Alaska before I have to drag an oxygen tank behind my wheelchair.

We bought tickets last year but we kept running into reasons why we couldn't go so
we're trying once again to go - and we're Alaska newbies. Astrocat says March is the

best month for aurora viewing and the weather isn't always freezing - hopefully.

I heard Alaska had something called Matanuska Valley Thuderfuck
but I'm a journalist so I can't say it exists because I've never seen any.

Any Bartcop readers in Seward, Whittier, Homer, Wasilla or Anchorage?

And something new we're trying:
Be a part of the Trip Report!

Kick in for a tank of gas or a few dollars towards a hotel or a ferry ride or something and
your name (Earl C in Erie, if you like) would be in the sure-to-be-fun Alaska Trip Report.

"And the fifth night we stayed at the Wild Moose Hotel in Valdez
  thanks to Bobby the Burner and Padre Mickey" type of thing.

So, I'm doing the page last week and PayPal calls.
They asked why I wasn't using their  "Buy now, Pay in 6 months" feature.

I told them I wasn't really in the business of selling things, but that people donated
a few sheckles now and then and he assured me that lots of people would donate now
if they knew they had 6 months interest-free to actually come up with the cash.

I have my doubts, but back in 2000 I had doubts about online donations in general
so what the hell - we'll give it as try for a week or so and see if anything comes in.

Be in Bart's Alaska Trip Report

You could
PayPal something to

Click to Subscribe

or make a one-time Donatation

or you could send a "love" check to
PO Box 54466
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We accept credit cards
Thank you

Today's Mystery Celebrity Photo 


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Celebrity    Link

Bart, that looks like the beautiful Goldie Hawn.
 Mary in Seattle

  Send e-mail to Bart

Today's Mystery City



Subject: last issue's Mystery City    

Bart, that looks like Chicago.
Stayed at Swisshotel - in back of that bridge to nowhere.
 Mike in alabama

Send e-mail to Bart

Do you know today's Mystery Car?


 Subject: last issue's Mystery Car    Link

Bart, that is The Incredible 1939 Pontiac Plexiglass Ghost Car
Unveiled at the General Motors Highways and Horizons pavilion at the
1939-40 World’s Fair in New York, the Pontiac ‘Ghost Car’ was built on
the chassis of a 1939 Pontiac Deluxe Six.

In collaboration with Rohm & Haas, a chemical company that had recently
developed Plexiglass, the concept for a transparent car was conceived and it
was the first one ever built in America.   More
Sheridan OR

  Send e-mail to Bart

What is today's History Mystery?   


Subject: last issue's History Mystery    Link 

Bart, that's serial killer H.H. Holmes, one of the first documented. 
He prepared for the Chicago World's fair in 1893 by buying a hotel
but outfitting it with gas chambers and trap doors and vats of acid
in the basement where he'd get rid of this "guests".      Link

Subject: previous issue's History Mystery    Link 

Bart, that photo's from the Library of Congress and is of Sgt. Samuel Smith of the
119th US Colored Infantry in the Civil War, with his wife, Molle, and daughters Mary
and Maggie.  Probably the only photo kept for posterity of a black military family.

 Send e-mail to Bart

Subject: donation

Thanks to Tom G in Anacortes, WA

Humor can get us thru the worst of times so we will keep on.  
As my buddy Ray Coleman used to say, "Never quit!!" seems to be my best bet to stay on the InnerNets.
if you shop with them, you might even save some money.

Please remember the Bartcop Portal when you shop online.

It never hurts to check prices.

Screen Star Evan Rachel Wood


Check out  over 800 sexy and tasteful photos of  Evan Rachel Wood

More hot babes in BC Hotties

Thanks to Blue in Seattle for helping me corral the hotties...

Send Your Hottie Suggestion to Bart

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