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Tuesday,  May 14, 2013    Vol 3061 - Fair enough 

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In Today's Tequila Treehouse... Climate Change Danger! Marco Rubio Humiliates Himself If the Dem had any Brains... Jon Stewart Slams Obama Poker Champ denied Winnings Amazon Helps Tequila Treehouse Teen Fave Victoria Justice

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Quotes

"Of all the great cover-ups in history — the Pentagon Papers, Iran-Contra,  Watergate,
  all the rest of them — Benghazi is going to go down as most egregious cover-up in American history.”
      --  Sen Jim Inhofe, the pride of Oklahoma          


  Inhofe is so lucky that Ted Cruz (R-Cunty) joined the senate.

  He makes Inhofe the second-biggest asshole/douche in the senate.

 
  Send e-mail to Bart

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The Geography of Hate

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Climate Change Danger!
If only the Democrats had fought back...



 Link
 
A wide variety of plants and animals are likely to become much less common
if something isn't done to avert the worst effects of a warming climate, research suggests.

Under a "business as usual" scenario, where greenhouse gas emissions aren't significantly
reduced, about 50 percent of plants and one-third of animals are likely to vanish from half
of the places they are now found by 2080, said Rachel Warren, a researcher in England.
These losses could lead to local extinctions of species.


I don't really see the problem here.
Like Bush says, most of us will be dead in 80 years, so who cares?

Who cares if our kids and grandchildren have food?
Who cares if the ocean rises 40 feet and summer temps go to 140?

It's not our problem so drill, baby, drill!


 Send e-mail to Bart

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Convicted felon:  "Fawn, bring me the shredder!"

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Marco Rubio Humiliates Himself
This is the GOP's big rising star?

 Link

In a letter to the U.S. Treasury Sec. Sen. Rubio (R-Loser) wrote, “Furthermore, it is clear
the IRS cannot operate with even a shred of the American people’s confidence under the
current leadership. Therefore, I strongly demand the IRS Commissioner’s resignation,
effectively  immediately. No government agency that has behaved in such a manner can
possibly instill any faith and respect from the American public.”

First of all, Rubio’s letter has a big typo in it. I think he meant effective immediately,
not effectively immediately. Things get even worse for Marco, when you realize that he
just asked for the resignation of someone who doesn’t really exist. That’s right, Rubio is
so busy plotting his 2016 campaign that he never bothered to check to see if there actually
was an IRS commissioner.

The previous IRS commissioner was appointed by Bush, and he resigned last November.

Wait a minute, the IRS scandal that the Republican Party is blaming Obama for happened
while a Bush appointee was in charge. This really does keep getting worse for Rubio.

It is impossible to take Sen. Big Gulp seriously when he and his staff are so sloppy.




 Send e-mail to Bart

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Astrocat

One of his best!

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If the Democrats had any Brains...
What would they do without me?

On this Benghazi bullshit that's a non-story BUT, because of the way it's been handled,
they gave the GOP the opportunity to scream so that's what they're doing.

I have a question for my can't-think friends at the White House and DNC - whatever.
Why don't they run the original Susan Rice tapes where she says, over and over,
"These are preliminary reports" and "as it appears right now" and
"from the facts we have so far," and "information is still coming in..."

I've seen that tape ONCE and I think it was on Jon Stewart.
You won't see the Republicans running that clip because it makes Rice look credible.
You won't see the Democrats running that clip because they can't think - hard;y at all.
and that's the LAST thing our whore press wants to do - get to the bottom of something.

BTW, that whole "play the Rice clip" is part of my "Just list the facts" mantra.
If the Dems played the clip, people would ask, "Where's the attempt to mislead us?"


And before you assume this bullshit will just die down, remember your history.
Monica was just a rumor until Judas Maximus started talking impeachment.


"It's true - I was the first to mention impeachment."

Plus, you have to remember these are Democrats.

......

Democrats hate winners - they always have.


  Send e-mail to Bart

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 Subject: Benghazi

Which of the embassy/consulate attacks during the Bush years was 5 hours in duration? 
I didn't see that.F-22s and 15s stationed in Italy could have been sent. 

Special ops soldiers were ready in Tripoli and were sent stand down orders. 
Just because Bush was a douche in his second term is no reason to defend our current douche.
Regards,
 Steve S

Steve, it's OK with me if you're calling the Pentagon and Gates and Petraeus "liars,"
but why aren't Republicans challenging the timeline if it's suspect?

There's no way Obama or Hillary said, "We could never get there in time."
They would only say that if the Pentagon told them that.

I'm not putting anything past anybody.
I'm just saying Obama and Hillary are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too smart to be in the
position of claiming to know more about our military capability than the Pentagon.


  Send e-mail to Bart

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Jon Stewart Slams Obama over IRS
Says the Teabaggers are now "legitimate"

  Video

"Mother-effer!  Son of a bitch!  Mother-effer!"

After fileting the tax collectors, Stewart turned to Obama, saying his administration's
lack of "managerial competence" has just handed a load of powerful ammunition to his
conservative critics and especially the "tinfoil behatted" contingent. "Congratulations,
President Barack Obama — conspiracy theorists who generally can survive in anaerobic
environments have just had an algae bloom dropped on their f---ing heads, thus removing
the last arrow in your pro-governance quiver: Skepticism about your opponents."

Yes, Obama needs to have someone in his inner circle who has
a f-ing clue about how f-ing politics works in the United States.



But Obama didn't do anything wrong.
He didn't get "caught" doing anything.

Of course, Carney and Obama won't say those words because they're clueless.

Obama's inept at handling scandals because he's been scandal-free.
How can our president be 50 years old and know so little about politics?



Note:
At press time, CNN was switching back and forth from Eric Holder trying to explain away
one scandal then switching to Jay Carney trying to explain away a different scandal.

Obama needs to get ahead of all this and right f-ing now.
His constant dithering isn't helping right now.

Right now Battleship Obama is taking multiple torpedo hits.
How many hits can he take before he sinks?
They have the IRS targeting Teabaggers scandal.
They have the never-ending Benghazi non-scandal.
Now they have the Justice targets Reporters scandal.

Turn on your TV - it's a feeding frenzy.
This wildfire is already out of control.
The only question is how many structures will be burned to th ground?

And Team Obama seems clueless and they're starting to appear guilty.

Hey, Barack!
Time to come to work - dithering isn't your friend right now.


 Send e-mail to Bart

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 Subject: IRS scandal

Bart,
Maybe you can help make sense of this.  Starting back around 2008-2010, a large number of
organizations registered as 501(c)4 nonprofit associations -- to be operated solely for the promotion
of social welfare, permitted to "participate in political campaigns and elections" (donate to politicians)
as long as their primary activity is social welfare.  They are not permitted to be mainly political yet,
because of Citizens United, they often are.

The vast majority of these organizations had words like "patriot" and "tea party" in their names;
a number also claimed their social welfare involved "changing government."

The IRS is supposed to check on these groups and make sure they are indeed promoting social welfare,
not simply trying to hide political donations.  And they found two things:  (1) a lot of the groups they had
to audit happened to be named "tea party" or "patriot," and (2) organizations with these phrases as part
of their name were more likely to be in violation of the law.

So, with limited resources, one audit center apparently looked specifically for these two phrases--together
with many other clues--to increase the efficiency of their audits.  And now people are screaming.

I don't quite get it.  If they were to choose names such as "Al-Qaeada," "Martyrs Brigade," or anything
implying that their purpose was the overthrow of the US Government, shouldn't they be audited? 
Likewise, if there are other keywords in the name that correlate with violations of the nonprofit laws,
shouldn't these be keys as to which organizations need to be inspected?

I haven't even seen information as to whether the increased number of "tea party" and "patriot"
organizations being audited is in line with the increased number of such organizations applying!
 Russ

 
If you're going to ask for a tax exemptions, the IRS SHOULD investigate to see what kind of
organization you are - especially if they're spouting anti-American nonsense like succession..


"Come visit me at Niggerhead Ranch.
  It's like visiting a whole other country!"

Part of their philosophy is they hate government.
Remember, that's how they caught McVeigh.

He refused to buy a license plate for his car because he didn't accept the government.
So why should these anti-government, anti-Black klans be allowed to skip out on their taxes?


  Send e-mail to Bart

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 Subject: Your Atheism


Hey Bart,
Your atheism,  humor/sarcasm and commentary on the religiously insane
are part of what I like about your site.  Calling out the absurdity of
Invisible Friends is a public responsibility.  Keep swinging that hammer.
  Don

Don, thanks for that.
I can't be anybody but myself.


  Send e-mail to Bart

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Women in Rock

As you know, I have complaints about the way some female performers look onstage.

Last time I saw Gwen Stefani live on TV, she wore a wife-beater t-shirt, she had her hair
in pigtails and she was doing f-ing pushups onstage. In other words, it was about as sexy
as a men's gym and I hate when that happens. Did she forget there'd be cameras there?

You'd think a hot girl with her own clothing line would try to look her best
when performing for a live TV awards show with a world-wide audience.

Last night I was flipping thru the channels and ran into No Doubt playing their latest hit,
"Looking Hot" so maybe she didn't want to look stupid for that particular song, but Gwen
looked better than I've seen her look in a decade.   She dressed like a woman (Gasp!)



She had the Marilyn Monroe hair, the super-sexy professional woman's suit-top with sexy
white hot-pants peeking out below, and stockings that made her sexy-toned legs look great
and what man doesn't like to see a hot girl in knee-high boots?

Do you think maybe Gwen reads  bartcop.com  and she saw my rock star fashion critiques
and agreed with me that it's not a crime for a great-looking woman to look sexy when she's
onstage trying to convince people to buy her latest music?

Those two images are a light-year way from a wife-beater in pig-tails doing pushups.
Thank you, Gwen, for looking your best for your performance.

If only Shirley would get that memo and see the light.

God's truth be known (and when do I ever give you anything but the God's honest truth?)
we could've gone to that recent Garbage show in St Louis but I was afraid that if Shirley
came out in her Woman-from-Mars outfit it would've just pissed me off.

I wonder how many tens of thousands of potential concert-goers agree with me?


 Shirley performing in New York earlier this year.

Yeah, I realize it's supposed to be about the music, but in 1964, if Paul McCartney
looked like Howard Stern, the Beatles would've sold a few thousand albums and goodbye.

When did looking good for your stage performance become a bad thing?


  Send e-mail to Bart

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 Subject: Monkey Mail, Subject: your prop-ganda

Bart, that Monkey wrote last issue:

And ""journalists"" like you are totally responsible for state of this once great nation.    

When was this “state of grace” in our “once great nation?”
What period in our history do they yearn so much for?
When we invent a time machine, to what era do they want to return?
   Patrick

 
Patrick, they want to go back to a time when the president was white.

It's my understanding Hillary is white so they only have to wait 3 more years.


  Send e-mail to Bart

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Poker Champ denied Winnings
Phil Ivey NOT paid $12M due him

  Link

Crockfords Casino club in London is withholding $12 million in winnings from
professional poker player Phil Ivey, claiming he "read" the back of the cards to win.

Ivey's "reading" technique is similar to the one featured in the movie "Kaleidoscope."
In the film, a man breaks into a card factory to mark the back of the cards and then
goes on a winning streak in several European casinos. In this case, the casino is arguing
that Ivey memorized the patterns in the back of the cards and used that knowledge to win.

The confrontation is expected to be the largest legal battle in casino history.

So often, like in this case, you can't tell if the casino is cheating Ivey
or maybe the writer is so f-ing terrible that he got all his facts wrong.

Ivey is denied his winnings for noticing that the cards could be read?

The casino was too cheap to use fresh cards and Ivey eventually memorized
that the Ace of Hearts had a crease in the upper right?

In their bullshit example, the crook broke in a card factory and marked the cards
so the writer decided Ivey's reading skills were "just like Kaleidoscope?"

In another version of this story, they say the 10 cameras trained on the table
show no cheating by Ivey, but they're just not going to pay him his winings?

Terrible move by the casino.
Who wants to gamble in a casino where if you lose you lose,
but if you win the casino invents a reason why they don't have to pay you?


  Send e-mail to Bart

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Know Your Classics

  Link



 Subject: last issue's Classic    Link

Bart, that is another Ray Bradbury quote!  This one's from The Martian Chronicles.
 Russ the Pillar



 Send Classic Lines to Bart

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Subject: Issue manufacturing 101

Or...Reality Creation Gone Wild

If any further evidence was needed that journalism is dead in this country, one need only
briefly peruse the stench emanating from the obviously manufactured IRS/Tea Party "crisis".

Although it's possible that IRS agents were aiding their Bush-appointed director by discriminating
against the party that was knocking off GOP candidates one after the other, it is far more likely
that agents where simply doing their job.  The Tea Party was triggering flags that the IRS uses regarding
the legitimacy of tax exempt status. 

So why can't the Obama people just say that?
Why can't they list the facts?
Is Obama a fighting-is-wrong Liberal?

Instead of acting as an outlet for the American Enterprise Institute and other corporate propaganda mills,
why doesn't the pathetic excuse that is currently trying to pass itself off as journalism in the U.S. investigate
the tax-exempt legitimacy of the Tea Party?  If those paid flacks and operatives that call themselves the
“Tea party” deserve tax exempt status, then so do I!
 Mike in Albuquerque

We know the press, with a few execptions, is nothing but a gaggle of whores.
That'll be hard to change because bullshit sells and greed is king.

But Obama could learn how to defend himself.

Children can do it - why can't Obama?

Where will Obama's approval rating be in ten days?

The time for him to come to work is the summer of 2010.


Send e-mail to Bart

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