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Volume 478 - Nobody Likes a Thief

Recent.Old Stuff ...Celebrity-hoe-mails  .Required Reading. The Liberal Media?  ..Crime of the Century?    Kiss My Ass
 World News Links      .On the Horizon..   ..LiveWeb Cams.   ..The BartCop Tax Plan......Clinton's Page        The Ruby Tape 
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 I'm finding ad requests buried in the mail pile, so I've added another mail box for business purposes.
 To request ad information, or to threaten me a lawsuit, use

May 23, 2001.    ...Advertise on    ..SPORTS..   ..Sweep Weeks..    ..Help Wanted..   ..Did you hear it? 
 VCR Alert - Sadly, tonight is the last Star Trek Voyager, a two-hour special television event.
 The good news? Maybe they'll get home and get laid tonight.
 More sadly, it's the last Angie Harmon Show, but it's a double shot of Angie - that'll help.
 It's also the last day of sweep weeks, and the last day of fund-raising for  for a while (applause)
 No more Sopranos, West Wing, C.S.I., Frasier, Survivor, Freinds, SNL, X-Files, Practice etc.
 We're left with nothing for a long, long time. Jon Stewart is working part-time, and so is Dave.
 Leno stopped being funny, and Dennis Miller turned whore. The only good news I see on the horizon
 is that in about five weeks they'll be harvesting the new crop of fresh corn.  Oh, we love the fresh corn. 

 I'm Confused

 Why is everyone so excited about the chance that the Senate might become 51-49?

 We lost the tax cut swindle vote 62-38.
 That means if Jeffords comes over, and if he votes like a Democrat (that's a big "if")
 then we'll lose the next vote 61-39.


 We're still going to lose every vote and Smirk will still win every white-power appointment
 because the fake Democrats are trying so hard to be friends with Weak & Stupid.
 We're still twelve Democratic spines away from having any Democratic power.

 Until the pink tutu Democrats start acting like men, we're still screwed.
 Miller, Breaux, Torricelli, those Dakota traitors and the others aren't going to help.

 Hey, God, why you doing this to us?

 We didn't call you a son of a bitch.
 We didn't call you feckless.
 We didn't tell you to go hang yourself, and still - you put the Smirk plague on us.

 Today in History

 In 1990: Kneel Bush, son of President George Herbert-Herbert Bush, denied any wrongdoing in the
 millions of dollars missing from Silverado savings-and-loan in Denver, while testifying before Congress.

 Since the stolen $60,000,000 had nothing to do with Clinton's cock,
 the Senate said, "Thanks for testifying, Kneel," and dropped the matter.

 Talk to Ann Coulter



Hey BC --

I noticed on the program notes for our state public radio's "information" network that La Skank
will be on at 5 pm central time today, Wednesday 5/23. This broadcast (like all their programming,
both classical & informational) is available on the web, and callers can reach them toll-free.
(I don't have the number handy, I'd suggest checking in for a few minutes in the second half of the
4-5PM show to get the correct number, phoning during the top-of-the-hour NPR newscast to get in line,
then waiting on hold until they accept calls. That usually starts about 15-20 min into the show.

See the announcement of the Coulter show at
listen online at .
Unfortunately WPR doesn't archive old shows on line like NPR does.

The host, Kathy Dunn, is not a ditto-monkey. She's no flaming liberal either, though the local AM hate radio
crowd thinks she is. She'll be gentle with Ann. I predict the callers will be very tough on Ann -- right-wingers
don't get an easy ride from WPR listeners as a rule.

If you can spare the time, have fun...

A free car to whoever gets on the air and asks Coulter how her self-esteem
got so low that she'd agree to perform Monica on a plastic clown.
Must have recording of call to claim car.

 Question: How is Netscape Composer similar to The Weakest Link?

  Answer:   Unless you "bank" every 30 seconds - you lose everything.

More Lies from Maureen Dowd
        (She hates everybody)

 Click  Here

 [Hillary Clinton] backed up a truck to the White House
  to haul away appurtenances to furnish her two mansions...

 Mo, you ignorant slut.

 You were silent when Red-Ink Reagan left with millions.
 He got his free mansion and millions in kickbacks from Japan
 because he was the best president Japan ever bought.

 You were silent when Bush left with his millions from the Moonie Empire,
 and the millions more he's made from his Kuwait "private businesses."

 But the Clintons, who came to Washington BROKE and left millions in debt are an easy target,
 and brain-dead whores like yourself are too lazy to investigate a story, so you take the cheap shot, instead

 Reagan/Bush gave us war and recession.
 Clinton gave us this:

 ...and the press nailed him to the cross for his eight years of 80-hour work weeks.

 Only a whore outfit like the NYW Times would employ a lazy bitch like you, Maureen.

 You can kiss my ass, Maureen Dowd.

Police seek Blake tapes on abortion

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A newspaper has agreed to give police tape recordings that depict Robert Blake
pressuring Bonny Lee Bakley to get an abortion. According to tapes published in the National Enquirer,
Blake also accused his future wife of trapping him into marriage by lying about using birth control.
Detectives investigating the May 4 shooting death of Bakley were interviewing one of her relatives when they
learned of tapes and documents the family had given to the Enquirer, LA police Lt. Horace Frank said.

Blake's lawyer, Harland Braun, said the tapes "are consistent with what they were talking about at the time,"
but added that they don't mean Blake killed her. "He has a motive, but so do a lot of other people," Braun said.

How stupid for Blake's attorney to say that.
I would've fired his ass on the spot if he "represented" me that way.

"Robert told me, 'As long as the police don't try to fabricate evidence,
  I have nothing to worry about,'" Braun said.

Trust me - that means when evidence against Blake surfaces, he'll say,
"I told you they might fabricate evidence against me."
It's an old Pigboy trick.
Predict the obvious, then claim "special powers" when it happens.

Steve Coz, the Enquirer's editor-in-chief, said he did not pay for the tapes.
Coz said Bakley made the tapes of her phone calls last year.
"You lied to me, you double-crossed me, and that's who you are," the Enquirer quotes Blake.

Bakley replied: "All I wanted is to be with you. I didn't know there was anything wrong."

 Happy Birthday, Joan Collins

 and Jewel

Hey there, friend of Soft Skull

One of my fave indie publishers, Soft Skull, has issued this call to the people to help get the truth out about the new edition of Fortunate Son: George W. Bush and the Making of an American President.
Sander Hicks at Soft Skull just wrote me and said,

We are reprinting Fortunate Son right now and getting it back into stores by June 15. This title has been legally
suppressed and the mainstream media have misrepresented the story. It's an important, truthful book and we need
your help to spread the word. Take a look at the Publisher's Preface I wrote for the new Fortunate Son, the new
13 page political cartoon by radical artist Seth Tobocman, and the new Foreword by NYU's Mark Crispin Miller.

All up at
We are offering friends of ours open access to the Seth Tobocman cartoon.

   (Note: this is a good series of toons - check it out at

We got sued, we got slandered, the mainstream media screwed us to the wall, but we're back.
We're here to tell the truth about the President.

Sander Hicks
Soft Skull Press

 More on Bartlet's Latin ranting at God

 Click  Here  for NPR's audio (very short) of the rant with explantion.

 Question: Why doesn't Bartlet have faith in his God?

 If I was a believer, I'd have faith.
 Bartlet knows conversational Latin, which probably takes a decade to learn,
 and his faith is shaken that easily?

 You don't need faith to go to a ball game or cut the lawn or watch TV.
 You need faith when a loved one dies, so why did Bartlet lose his faith so quickly?

 Like Father Damien in The Exorcist,
 Bartlet's faith went out the window at the first hint of trouble.

 Sure, he got in back before the show was over, but that was after he called God an SOB,
 "a feckless thug," and then told God to "go hang yourself."

 I had to look up "feckless." It's not a word you hear a lot.
 Sounds like our current Failure in Thief.

 Don't get me wrong, it was riviting TV, but religious people confuse me.
 They insist on this charade, while others are watching them.
 But when their faith is tested, they almost always crumble immediately.

 If it means so little to them, why do they bother?

From: (withheld)

Subject: Original Ray's Pizza in New York

You wrote:
> This 11th at 6th Ray's has signs saying,
 >"We are not affilaited with any other Ray's Restaurant.
 >We are the only original Ray's."

This is important.  There was this "pizza war" in NYC about 20 years ago.
Every other pizzeria in town was calling itself "Ray's", because this 11th and 6th Ray's had really great pizza.
Then they all got to arguing over who was the REAL ORIGINAL RAY'S.  The New York Times had
this rolling-on-the-floor-laughing article about it.  Their reporter went around town, interviewing pizza men,
asking if they were the REAL ORIGINAL RAY'S.

One baker explained that his store was the REAL ORIGINAL RAY'S, because they were the only pizzeria
that actually had someone named Ray working there.  The reporter asked if he could speak to Ray.
"Sure", said the baker.  "Hey Ralph!  Get over here!"

 Vengeful bastards go after Clinton's little brother
    Roger Clinton hires Susan McDougal's lawyer

 Click  Here

 Cops claim:  We didn't know we were arresting Clinton's borother...

 The tape:

 Officer 2: "Does he have Secret Service protection?"

 Officer 1: "Not really, but his brother did."

 We have lying cops!

 This is one reason cops don't get the respect fire fighters do.
 Firemen don't stay up late at night figuring out how to screw somebody.

Letter to the New York Post

Our mayor is a Catholic?
And he brings his goomah to his house?

...even Tony Soprano isn't that insensitive.

 California Reamin'
  by Greg Palast, overseas, of course.

  You can tell he's not in the states,
  because he's not fawning over President Weak & Stupid.
  he dares to have an opinion not approved by Uncle Dick.

 Click  Here

 You nasty-minded readers probably believe George Bush's energy plan is just
 some pea-brained scheme to pay off the president's oil company buddies, fry the
 planet, and smother Mother Earth in coal ash, petroleum pollutants and nuclear waste.

 If that's what you think, you've overlooked the vicious intent of the whole programme.
 It's payback time - and Bush intends to make California pay.

 ...and the American whore press keeps running story after story about how holy Smirk is,
 and how Biblical Smirk is, and what a devout and humble son of a bitch he is.

 Well, fellas, you only got the end of that right.


Subject: West Wing final episode

Well, by now I'm sure you've got your tape of the final show and it will be a little different than your recollection.
He actually asked the shrew he called on to repeat the question ("will you run again?")--this, AFTER staring at,
then ignoring the guy ready to throw him a cream puff.  The suspense builds and builds and then, and then the
President slides his hands off the podium and plunges them deep into his pockets.

We KNOW he's gonna say to the bitch, "Hell yes!, I'm gonna run.
I can't let a little illness allow the whore Republicans to take control.
Roosevelt lied about his polio, Eisenhower about his heart attacks,  Kennedy lied
about his Addison's disease, Nixon about his alcoholism, and Reagan about his brain death.
Of course I lied. BFD!"

There's no suspense here, no cliff hanger. The excitement stems from where the show will go next season.
Will the Repuglies appoint Ken Starr to be the special prosecutor?

Will he act like a partisan, lying, corrupt fanatic?

Will next season be a mirror of White Water?

And Americans who watch will finally get a look at the Republican m.o.
that the whore media did not show.

Lastly, I heard an NPR interview with a scholar who gave a different interpretation
of the Latin in the final episode.  Is there an official "West Wing" site to check this out?

Thanks for your hard work,

Lewis Grove
a sort of weasel

The triumph of "multicultural" thugs
The physical assault on Ann Coulter at Cornell proves that fascism is alive and well on U.S. campuses.

 by David Horowitz (R-Sane Like Klayman)

 Click  Here

 Ok, back to New York

 It's still Saturday afternoon, and I'm behind, so I'll critique less art this issue.

 I'd just picked up the Japanese art I had commissioned, and we continued walking.
 That's a busy-ass part of town, 53 Street and Fifth Avenue...

 Next up was St Patrick's Cathedral, where America has said a lot of sad goodbyes.
 Helluva building, so to speak.
 The doors were open, we went in.  The doors must weigh 400 pounds each.
 I had to lineback the door to make it move.

 There was a mass going on.
 The smell of hundreds of candles hasn't hit my nose in decades.
 They do that, they use that aroma therapy to dull your senses.
 Even yearlings file that smell, so as to trigger the shame and self-doubt later.
 At twenty months, that organ music sets the tone, too.
 The frankencense, the hushed and reverent tones, the slamming of the kneelers... formats the brain for dependence on the ghosts with the losing percentage.

 Sorry, now isn't the time...

 On the other side of the street was NBC and Rockefeller Center.
 We looked at the Cheers t-shirts and the Friends coffee mugs...
 You can buy ER scrubs, if you're into buying silly stuff.
 It got boring real quick, but at least it was a rest from the walking.

 Continuing on, Mrs. BartCop spotted a street vendor with $5 jewelry.
 She bought so much stuff we had to make a run back to the hotel to dump it all.
 My knees were hurting big time by then.
 Remember the toe I broke last year?
 New York reminded me of that night, a little more than once per second..

 But - the Lord provides!
 Mrs. BartCop gave me a Vioxx, and I was Jesse Owens.

 We called CAL and Ray from the hotel and said, "Let's go walking!"

 We took a subway to Manhattan's foot.
 From there, the four of us walked to Battery Park.

 Nice place  ...clean, ...intact, ...grass was cut, and it was right on the water.
 - remember what they said about Mussolini?
 This park ran on-time!

 Walking, telling stories, telling lies and laughing, and the weather was perfect.

              Here's a boat,  shot from the Esplanade

 A shot of the sun starting to set.

                Being "arty" with my camcorder

 We walked so far south and then so far west, I glanced back east.

                            Tall buildings

   A Smirk tax cut means another boat for the rich

     This is the water entrance to the World Trade Center

                Close-up of a tall building

 Oh, it's the World trade Centers!
 Let's go up to the top floor and have a drink.
 Everybody excited?

                              It was 7:45
 Just like the Rio, they closed so the tile people could come in.

 We did a SnackDown at the Krispy Kreme.

 Ray'd never been to one before.
 I suggested the raspberry tart.
 (Picture not available.)

 Back on the streets...
 My dawgs was starting to bark again, but there were more sites to see.
 It was fully dark now, and we were wandering the streets of lower Manhattan.

                  Not sure,  but that's a cool shot

 Looks like a movie poster, doesn't it?
 I think Zore the Gatekeeper lives there.

 Then, a sad note.

                     The grave of Alexander Hamilton

It makes sense that he's buried here:

See how much faster we're moving?
I did some cypherin' and figured out if it took me two days to explain each day,
it's be a long time before we got back to smackin' Smirk, and I'm ready!)

From the NYSE, we walked to Staten Island.
Damn, that's a long way.

Lucky, we had a ferry.

          NY skyline from the Staten Island Ferry

 This brought a tear to my eye.
 It reminded me of the old days,
 when we chose our president by a citizen vote.

 Back on the mainland, after 10 PM, back to the subway.

Look how clean the subway is on a Saturday night.
You know who we have to give some credit to?

  ...and they say fascism isn't a viable system?

 We got off the subway near Ray's Original Pizza at 11th Street and 6th Avenue.
 They say this is the best of the Ray's Pizza's, which is New York Pizza.

 This 11th at 6th Ray's has signs saying,
 "We are not affiliated with any other Ray's Restaurant.
   We are the only original Ray's."

 Damn, that's some fine pizza.
 More on that in the big Thursday issue.

 After pizza, we walked over to Washington Square Park.
 Guess what?

 As we stepped foot into the park, a NY cop was proclaiming:
 "This park is closed, you must exit the park immediately!"

 ...New York, ...Las Vegas, ...they close when they see BartCop coming.

 We took a cab back to the hotel, where a Van Gogh print hung on the walls.


 ...end of  New York Part  III.

 Tomorrow is the Empire State Building, Times Square, Grand Central Station,
 CAL and Ray, Brooklyn, Mexican food, The Sopranos, Super Brownies and more. has produced a second BartCop Store.

Click  Here  to get new BartCop Stuff. is doing some award thing, "The Bushies."

They're letting people cast ballots for their favorite websites.

For Excellence in Bush-Whacking,
Best Parody Site,
Best Parody Picture,
Best Web Graphics and Toons (...a hot race between Chadsux and PoliticalStrikes (Cunningham)

They have Ol' BartCop with a tough group of nominees.

Best Bush Watchdog

Vote for outstanding achievement in monitoring, resisting and burning Bush

American Politics Journal
Bush Watch
George W. Bush Scorecard of Evil
The Smirking Chimp

Damn, those are the major league boys.
I'll tell you one thing - I'm the David in this group of Goliath's.

But where is
Where is
Where is the Diva?

Personally, I think it'd be tacky to pull a Kathy Lee Gifford and ask people to GO HERE
and vote for  to get some quick recognition, perhaps in USA TODAY.

As I write this, (1:20 EST)  is dead last in the polling.  is the least outstanding site at resisting Smirk's illegal takeover?

Is that right?

So, remember, I'm asking people not to GO HERE and vote for  because that'd be tacky.

 The Arkansas Project wasn't journalism
  by my good friend Joe Conason

 Click  Here

 Ted Olson's defenders say the Clinton-bashing effort was protected by the
 First Amendment  -- and besides, Olson didn't know much about it anyway.

 They're wrong on both counts.

 Good stuff, Joe!

Great  toon, by David Horsey, Seattle Post Intelligencer

 The Sports Page is doing good, looks like.

 Click  Here

 Bad timing, it birthed just as we were leaving town, but it has good stuff,
 and we still need writers!

 Don't you write a little?
 Don't you have an opinion?
 I'll bet you do on game day, so why not now?

 If you ever wanted your opinion to count, get involved.
 Go to the sports page and e-mail Angryburgher with a sports rant
 that someone might mention to someone at the water cooler tomoro.

 Pretty soon, after a coupla weeks, a dozen people might talk about your column.
 After a year, you'll have a hundred regular readers.
 By 2005, you've have 10,000 readers a day.

 Don't you want your opinion to count?

 Keep in mind - we can't do politics 24/7.
 If we fight the fight constantly, we'll burn out and they'll win.
 Sports is therapy!

 It'll make us sharper for the Big Battle.

 Check into the sports page - contribute.

 The JFK Conspiracy Page has some new stuff up,
  including a user-friendly "Give us your opinion," section.

  Click  Here

 Have an opinion?
 Why not share it, ...unless it's just nonsense.

 You can create an identity at or or countless others
 if you want to contribute anonymously.

 Get involved, speak your mind.
 If someone else has put forth your ideas, that's cool.

 But if you're thinking something that nobody else is saying, and you think it's the truth,
 and you can state your reasons, send Bojan an e-mail and tell us.

 ...or, could just keep quiet.

 I forget...

 Is it illegitimate president or bastard president?

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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