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Volume 503 - The Princess of Nepal

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June 19, 2001.  .....   ...Advertise on    ..... .......SPORTS..  ...........  ..Did you hear it? 

 Saw this on the Pigboy newsgroup

"Why can't Jenna be more like the Prince of Nepal?"

   Note to Secret Cervix: I didn't write that.

 This Just In....


   ha ha

   I'll see you folks again in early August.

From: (withheld)

Subject: That nutty Pigboy

I'm getting a little tired of the "My generation is better than your generation" arguments that have cropped up lately.
Our parents' generation (I'm 39) met some great challenges, but they also goofed up badly a couple of times.

There's a question I ask of Republicans, and no one will ever answer it:  If, as Republicans say, we've been overtaxing and over-regulating our businessmen and citizens since the 1960's, how come that happens to coincide with the fact that there's been, as Mr. Limbaugh puts it, "no hardship" during that time.  We had a free-market economy for generations, and there was always hardship--life was really tough.  We went "Big-Government" and Voila!--hardship goes away; life is much easier.

I don't think that the elimination of hardship was one of the results that Republicans predicted when they warned us about Social Security, Medicare, food stamps for the poor, college tuition assistance, the FDIC, environment protections, immunizations for poor kids, The Food and Drug Administration, workplace safety regulations, consumer protection laws, and federal support of home mortgages.  I seem to remember that Republicans promised these things would bring more hardship.

I'm not trying to offer a simplistic argument, and I understand that maybe there is no cause and effect here.  It's possible, I suppose, that things could be even better if we had done things the Republican way, and the fact remains there is a lot of personal hardship in this country, despite Rush's exaggerations.

I suppose we could increase the size of our sampling group and study other countries and see how things work there.
It seems all the top 20 countries also have a "liberal big-government" system.  What a coincidence!

To be fair, I must point out that there are also a lot of conservative governments, where businesses aren't regulated and
there are no safety nets, minimum wage laws, nor pesky forms to fill out when workers get their arms crushed in machines.
Rwanda, Bolivia, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Yemen come to mind.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "U2 is a has-been, MTV group."
    -- Pigboy, third hour

 Our Project 60 has begun

 Click  Here  to see the first installment.

 Chief Project manager is David Friedrichs

 Here is a message from David:

 Hello fellow WWII buffs,

 Bartcop has asked that I coordinate the Project 60 effort.
 Here's what I'd like to propose.

 Any and all entries are welcome. Send them to me. Don't worry about format.
 I'm going to keep a data base of the entries so you can send near and far future events.

 I've got the basic almanac sort of things covered. In addition, I've got a Bomber Command Diary
 so if push comes to shove for a given day, we can fill with the nightly terror raid over Germany from the RAF.
 We should be pretty good for material since Barbarossa is right around the corner (June 22).
 I know the ETO (east and west) and CBI ground campaigns well, but can really
 use help on the naval actions (Atlantic and Pacific), island operations in the PTO
 and the strategic bombing campaign in both theaters.

 Thanks from me and I'm sure Bartcop,

 Dave Friedrichs

 Laura's Old Man and Last Rites
   by Margaret Shemo

  Click  Here

 The Missing Intern

 The parents of a missing intern from Modesto are expected to ask for
 more federal help in finding their daughter.

 Chandra Levy has been missing for seven weeks. Before she disappeared, she allegedly made
 repeated phone calls to Rep. Gary Condit (D-Bungler) the congressman for Levy's home district.
 Condit has called Levy "a very good friend," and Monday, his lawyer said that could explain the calls.

 "Let's assume she was calling him to say goodbye, which we suspect was the case. You understand
 she was returning to California," attorney Joseph Cotchett said. "The congressman has come forward
 and said they were good friends, as he is with many interns."
 Condit himself is refusing to speak publicly about the case.

 Condit couldn't be handling this any worse if he was Jenna Bush.
 We've got a dead girl here.
 This isn't a cock hunt, this is a crime.

 I heard some idiot prosecutor say "So far, this isn't a crime," but Levy's bags, purse and car keys
 were found neatly stacked by her front door, indicating she was about to leave and thought of
 some last-minute chore like feeding the dog or checking her mail when she was abducted.

 Is there any other possible explanation?
 She didn't willingly go anywhere without her bags, her purse and her car keys.

 Why don't they put some pressure on Condit to talk?

 All during impeachment, the only crimes were the ones fabricated by the GOP.
 Here, we have a dead girl and nobody thinks it's worth a look?


 "I've heard that Edwards guy from Carolina is 'the next Bill Clinton,' in every way.
  Yeah, you heard me - in every way."
    --the vulgar Pigboy, first hour

 Hey, Pigboy!
 I've heard you regularly have sex with goats.
 So using your rules, I should spread that rumor across the globe, right?

 OK, Pigboy. If you insist, I will.

 Juan Raul Garza, having been found guilty of murder, was himself murdered by
 Smirk's federal government Tuesday, in the second federal execution in eight days.

 Does this mean, with that heartless Moron in Thief in charge,
 we're going to have a fedeal execution each week like he had in Texas?

 Smirk's View of the World

 Sent by Eric Beck

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "Milk now costs twelve dollars a gallon - more than gasoline."
     Yesterday's best stroke-ism


 "The philosophical leadership vacuum at the top of the GOP should be
   a source of major concern to all freedom-loving Americans."
      --Edward H. Crane, Cato Institute

 So I'm channel surfing and I run across The O'Reilly Factor, with substitute host Newt Gingrich.
 Let's talk about that for a second.

 The right-wingers are always whining about unfairly biased the liberal media is.

 Have you ever turned on Dan Rather and seen substitute Barney Frank?
 Have you ever turned on Peter Jennings and seen substitute Ted Kennedy?
 Have you ever turned on Tom Brokaw and seen substitute Hillary Clinton?

 No, you never, ever do.
 The cave people can claim the media are biased towards the left,
 but none of the facts will stand behind you.

 Fox News is so overtly fascist, and everybody knows it, but the major networks
 allow Fox to get away with that "fair and balanced" pile of horseshit.

 ...and the dumb Oakies believe Fox's lies.

 Rob Schneider Blows Lid Off Weakest Link

 Did you see his piece today in USA Today?

 He said the show takes 6 hours to shoot, because after the lightning round,
 they stop taping so Anne can huddle with the writers and put some jokes together.
 Then they start the cameras rolling again so Miss Snippy gets to look superior.

 I admit, they fooled me.

 A couple of times when Anne had a snappy comeback or clever remark
 I said to myself, "Hey, Self! She's not bad," but it's all a sham.
 I guess anybody can seem clever with 30 minutes notice and a dozen writers.

 It's not enough for a shot of Chinaco, but hats off to Rob Schneider
 for blowing the lid off the fraudulent Weakest Link scam.

Why free David Hale?
  by Ernest Dumas

 Click  Here

 Answer: Because Gov Huckabee is a fraud of a Christian and a cheap, partisan whore.

 Dave goes Grey Goose Crazy

 Monday, chef David Boolay (sp?) cooked for Dave.

 Koresh bless his heart, he must have a contract with Grey Goose vodka.
 There was a Grey Goose bottle to his left,
 there was a Grey Goose bottle to his right.

 If the camera was on Booley, you saw some Goose.

 Dave asked, "How much vodka?" and Booley said,
 "About a shot," so Dave poured like it was party at BartCop Manor!.

 Dave called Paul over: "Paul, you gotta try some of this."
 Paul turned the bottle upside down and got him a chug.

 Dave said, "MY bottle of vodka was water. Paul's was real"

 Paul looked hammered.


Subject: Video Drivers

Without knowing what player these people own, i can't be of much help.
Try going to the Microsoft site for driver support or check any newsgroup with multimedia in the title.
In the newsgroups you post specific questions that usally get answered.

Keep Hammer'in

Thanks for that suggestion.
It'd be nice if we could fix that.
As more people get cable and DSL, video becomes more of an option.
That Area 51 footage only takes 5 minutes to DL with a high-speed modem.

 To the people who said they can't stand "all the spelling errors" on

 ...does that mean you're volunteering to edit the page each day?

 Internships are available...


 The local sports guys are saying nobody got par on that tricky 18th hole at the Open.

 I don't know Smirk about golf, but if nobody gets par,
 doesn't that mean they should raise par one stroke?

 Also, the mail is saying "Get off Tiger Woo  "
 No problemo, I don't have plans to stay on him, but I couldn't let him come into MY town
 with his godhood complex and not give him something to remember K-Drag.

 The streak stops here, Tiger.
 By the way, what's his real name, ...Theodore?

 Next up for the BartCop Hex - The Failure in Thief.
 I'm planning a mid-July hex for his non-thinking ass.



 Subject: In Memory of Dennis 'Sabutai' Clark
 (Thanks for the fumble, Dude)

 At Flag Day this past Friday night, Kurt Glasco started an annual "Dennis Clark Volunteer Award."
 This year's recipient was Carmalee Brock.
 Each year, a volunteer who exemplifies Dennis' dedication will be honored.
 The plaque will be kept at Tulsa Democratic headquarters.
 Thought you'd like to know.

 It's quite an honor to Dennis and a wonderful rememberence of him.
 Please let others (and Dennis' family) know.

 I also told everyone about the tree we planted for Dennis.
 Everyone wants to go visit it.



 At Dennis' funeral, the preacher quoted

"Dennis did a lot of real work for the K-Drag Democratic Party.
 I went to a couple of meetings with him, years ago.
 Whoever was in charge would say, "We need someone to run the booth
 at the State fair this year," and nobody else raised their hand, so Dennis did.

 For years, he worked the phones at the Call Rape Center or Crisis Hotline,
 or Suicide Line, whatever it was called.
 He was one of the few who took the time to make a difference."

 A shot of Chinaco   to a man who made a difference. on its Last Legs?

 Another story in today's USA Today - can survive?

 They say is hanging on by their fingernails.
 The company once valued at $60 million is now valued at $4.5 mil, their stock is at 30 cents a share.

 Meanwhile, the Freepers are getting money from Richard Mellon Scaife.
 It's not a fair fight.

 It's like our side just doesn't want to bother with democracy.
 The Freepers want it more than we do.

 Remember Florida?
 The lazy-ass Democrats didn't want to bother counting ballots.
 (This was before Scalia said counting ballots would cause Smirk "irreparable harm.")
 They wanted their precious four-day Thanksgiving weekend more than they wanted Democracy.

Take it public
The failure of energy deregulation should make us reconsider blind faith in the market
-- and take a second look at public power systems like the one that lights up Hollywood.
  by Joe Conason

Click  Here

Whenever a conservative ideologue starts preaching about the miraculous benefits of the unregulated
"free market," it is only prudent to make sure you still have your wallet -- because while you're
distracted by that seductive pitch, somebody's invisible hand is probably picking your pocket.

My note to Joe Conason,

Good article on California's power troubles.

One thought:

Remember in 1995 or 96, Newt's gang raised the speed limit from
55 to whatever because, among other reasons, "we're drowning in oil."

Now they blame Clinton & the Democrats for letting production lag.


 If I had any brains...

 Well, there's a thousand ways to finish that sentence,
 but if I had any brains I would've posted this days ago.

 I wanted you to see some of this candy from South's Finest Chocolate Factory.
 I don't know Smirk about fancy chocolate candy because I like everything plain. (except for my tequila)

 If you ever see milk chocolate that looks like this, buy the hell out of it.
 (Forgive the purple scanner discoloration at the bottom.
  I hope they don't sue me for posting this)

 This is the best milk chocolate that exists, and I've had 'em from all over the world.
 This ain't Nestles.
 This ain't Hersheys.
 Screw the Swiss and screw the Belgesers (homage to Smirk)
 This is the chocolate God snacks on - BreakUp Chocolate from South's Finest Chocolate Factory.

 You single guys?
 If your girls been holding out on you, talking about "No huggie, no kissee,"
 slip her some BreakUp Chocolate and e-mail me a "thank you," the next day.

 The smart move is to break off the borders, then, when you're done with those magnificent triangles,
 you still have some little chunks of Heaven you can enjoy with your pumpkin seeds.

 Saturday, I tried the BreakUp/Pumpkin seed/Chinaco trilogy.
 Didn't work.
 The chocolate took the middle out of the chocolate.
 I could get the highs and the lows, but no middle - kinda like a Bose speaker.

 But we're only getting started.

 These others you'll have to figure out for yourself.
 I don't eat nuts, so all these are foreign to me.
 Mrs. BartCop, my friends and co-workers are raving over them.

 This is a piece in their assortment box.
 Like Forrest Gump, said, "Koresh knows what this could be."

 It looks so odd, it has to be good, right?

 I'm guessing a smooth outside is code for a smooth inside, but what does that mean?

 ha ha

 Maybe I should've bitten into each one, then scanned 'em?

 Here's his brother:

 Maybe it's a chocolate covered cookie?
 Does anybody know?

 Here you go - that looks like nuts to me.
 I don't know cashews from peanuts from almonds.
 I know what pecans look like, tho.
 I've stepped on more pecan shells barefoot than I care to remember...

 Whatever this is, it's luxury something.

 This one's smoother - what does that mean?

 Is this a turtle?
 Or was number two a turtle?

 This one looks like a Star Trek monster.
 I won't eat it, but Vic the Racist tried to kiss me after he ate one.

 This one was hard to get into the chute - that's why the nick on top.
 It was skittish, she wouldn't go on the page.
 We tried turning her around - didn't work.
 We tried blindfolding her - didn't work.
 Finally, we had to back her in.

 She won that race, tho...

 This is the last one.
 Looks like a rock from Mars, but they say it rules.

 Lastly, (applause) there are more conventional-looking chocolates in the assortment.

 The first 5 times I went to Krispy Kreme, I only ate the glazed donuts.
 But everyone else was raving about the other flaored donuts, so I tried the
 raspberry filled whatever they're called and they were fan-effing-tastic.

 That happened here, too.
 When the South's Finest Chocolate Factory president told me I was in the minority
 with my devotion to the plain milk chocolate, I broke down and tried some non-nut treats.
 They had a lemon-filled chocolate deal that was great.
 They had a raspberry-filled treat that was better.
 The caramel-filled treat was better than the raspberry, which I would've bet wasn't possible

 Bottom line?

 If you don't care much about chocolate,
 ...and I'm talking about fine luxury chocolate of the Gods,
 you have no reason to order some of this connesu, ...coinsure, ..coursaire
 ...these DAMN fine chocolate works of art.

 But if you think you deserve the best,
 if you think you're worth it,
 this is the best damn chocolate in the world.

From: rgfellow@earthlink.netz

Subject: The Bartcop Hex

The hex is working.
You know what you have to do next.

Michael Pullmann

...we must not,
...we cannot misuse the hex.

If I'd known about the BartCop Hex last November,
I'd be Gore's Secretary of State right now.


 There's a fellow named Joe B from Toledo who, along with a fella named Froederick,
 (and others) have been terribly generous in supporting  financially.

 Today, I received a personal check from Joe B, and his phone number was on the check,
 so I called him to thank him for his above-and-beyond support.

 When he answered, I introduced myself and I thought the line had gone dead.
 I repeated my name a few times and then I said, "You know, ...from the Internet?"

 Joe's voice was tentative, and finally he said, "I'm a little suspicious..."
 so I described his letter to me and told him nobody but me could have that information.

 We had a nice conversation but I could still sense a hesitation in Joe's voice, so Joe,
 this is to let you know it wasn't a trick.

 Thanks for being a pillar of support for

 Democrats seek payback over financial scandals
  With financial scandals causing embarrassment for George Bush, Democrats are
  planning revenge on the Republicans who sought to bring down the Clinton administration.
    by Julian Borger reports

  Click  Here

   ...then  Click  Here

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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