Wouldn't a nice cabin in the woods feel good?
Put your ad here
"The amazing thing is that we'll have
our birthday on the same day again next year."
- President Weak & Stupid to an AP reporter on realizing they have the same birthday
From: Martin Sall
Subject: Waste little effort worrying about Condit
I have it on excellent authority that.....
There is an excellent editorial in today's LA Times written by Robert Sheer about Condit,
which explains a lot about this scandal. Some of the key points:
is a very conservative Democrat - out of the Zell Miller mold. He is a
Clinton-hating fundamentalist Evangelical. He is no different than most conservative Republicans
when voting on social issues. He is a only moderate on economic policy. Four years ago, the GOP
didn't even bother running a candidate against him, they are so happy with his voting records.
He is the
current co-sponsor of the bill to require the public display of the 10
on federal property. There are several right-wingers and fundamentalist leaders who are on record
before this scandal praising Condit and a model "Christian" politician, etc., etc..
does not deserve our support.
We need to pressure the DNC to run another candidate in the primaries against Condit.
In fact, Condit is a far greater liability to the self-righteous right than any other group.
The King of Hype
Michael Jackson has decided to put on a show.
But instead of doing a real concert, a legitimate concert, for a real audience,
he's come up with another freak-circus carnival of horseshit.
Instead of performing like a singer/musician with a body of work,
he has assembled a
hodge-podge of performers who actually work (most of them, anyway) but for what reason?
The line-up includes:
Britney Spears, 'N Sync, Whitney Houston, (unless she's on a crack
jag) Marc Anthony, Siegfried and Roy,
Carrot Top, Gloria Estefan, the Elephant Man's bones, Shaggy, Quincy Jones, Tiny Tim (who's still dead)
Billy Gilman (don't let him get you alone, Billy), Cindy Lauper, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, Beetlejuice
and Hank the drunken dwarf are among the stars who are slated to headline with the King of Hype, on Sept. 7.
Three nights later, the lineup includes Mary J. Blige, Howie Klein,
Gladys Knight, Luther Vandross,
Roger Clemens, Diana Ross, Peggy Noonan, Cluck the Wonder Chicken and Ricky Martin.
Marlon Brando, Elizabeth Taylor and the Ringling Brother's chimpanzees will tear tickets.
Tickets are only $5,000 each - and that's if you buy ten at a time.
But what's the damn point?
Britney Spears and N Sync, the least talented people in all of show business,
can sell out the Garden ten nights in a row without Giggleboy's help.
Usually when a big star charges $5,000 per ticket, it's either
for a charity
or it's to stop fascism from stealing our vote at the polls, but this is neither.
So what's the point?
I'll tell you.
MJ has all the self-esteem of Laura the Unloved and Pigboy combined.
If he bills this as "An
Evening with Michael Jackson," it might bomb,
(because the audience for a child molester is so hard to figure out,)
so he invites everyone who can draw a crowd to back him up.
To a audience who paid $50,000 for ten tickets?
What do you want to bet it'll be one, long singalong?
Jesus Christ, for $5,000 a seat, it'd be nice to hear the singer sing, but no...
And what's the cut for the Bush
Family Evil Empire?
If there's that much money to be made with a scam, either Karl Rove
or Don King will be getting a cut, and that's a guarantee.
This way, Michael gets to stand on stage and accept the gratitude
of the crowd.
He also gets to avoid doing real work by putting on a real show.
Christ, he's been in show business since when I was a virgin. (I'm 47 now)
He's gotta have ten albums and a hundred songs to choose from.
If nothing else, he could perform his Thriller album, front
but that won't happen because he'd have to put some effort into it.
So he's going to be the ringleader of a silly-ass circus instead
of a singer/performer.
This way, he won't have time to perform more than one or two songs (they'll be new ones)
because the carnival has a dozen carloads of animals that have to be fit in.
All he needs now is Jim Rose and he'll have achieved legitimacy.
The poor bastard hasn't had a normal day in his whole life.
Wait, it just got worse. The title of this monstrosity
Michael Jackson: 30th Anniversary Celebration, The Solo Years.
He's hired Marlon Brando to present him with an award, no doubt
"Michael Jackson King of Pop award" or some such horseshit.
Click Here if you think your stomach can take more.
If you've ever considered seeing a psychiatrist for any reason,
save your money
and just watch the replay of this Michael Jackson debacle on HBO for five minutes.
You'll feel great - and it's free.
Laura the Liar
The Queen of Bitch can't speak without lying, and it's
usually to toot her own horn.
This morning, she helped two idiot-losers save their marriage by settling a dispute
over naming their to-be-born soon little brat "Connor or Thomas."
Ifd these two morons can't make it thru a "crisis" like this without
the Mistress of Bitch, Nag and on the Rag, how will they face life's real problems?
When they were done, Laura triumphantly declared to her gullible
"Twenty million people just heard you make your decision."
Gee, Laura, what station is replaying your snippy snipes five times?
That's what it would take for 20,000,000 people to hear you mangle
because your audience is four million, not twenty, you ignorant slut.
What's wrong with you, Laura?
What kind of self-esteem problems do you have, Laura, that you
would lie to people
to pretend your show is five times bigger than it really is?
Laura, you're a liar and a whore.
I've proven it dozens of times.
Wake Me When They Find Chandra Levy
On CNN we are promised, oh, roughly every 30 minutes,
"the latest news on the Chandra Levy case." As if anyone knows
anything from one half-hour to the next, or even one week to the next.
I'll pay attention when there really is news.
Poor Drew Barrymore
They say she went and married that Tom Green thing.
...Courtney Cox, all is forgiven, please come back.
Happy Birthday to...
Debbe Dunning is 35 Sela Ward is 45
Subject: re: Bob Parry
Robert Parry is the closest thing I have to a
He does the best type of journalism in my opinion.
Every word he writes can be considered crucial knowledge in an "informed electorate" sense.
> From breaking the Contra/Cocaine story for AP,
to October Suprise, to being one of the few
> journalists who actually read the CIA's report re Contra/Crack, he has been one of the leaders
> in giving Americans the information they *need* to know.
It saddens me that a journalist of his caliber
is relegated to an obscure web site.
It can only harm our country.
I would suggest to all your readers: spend a day
or two in the archive section of
www.consortiumnews.com, and especially the "Lost History" page.
You'll come out pissed, and armed with knowledge.
What better way to take our country back?
Keep up the good work, BC.
Our country needs a good treehouse.
Slander, (great name, great addy, by the way)
Dittoes on the hero thing.
Bob seems to have been punished for crossing the Bush
Family Evil Empire.
He had a great point when he asked why the Bush Family Evil Empire
always gets a pass instead of having to answer questions.
You'd think the guy who broke the Iran-Contra scandal,
the biggest scandal in the 35 years I've been paying attention,
would have a job for life a la Woodward and Bernstein, but nooooo.
I also agree that every word he writes is gold.
Bill Bennett is such a whore
He was on Larry King last night, whining about interns.
He said it was so awful that interns
aren't safe in Washington.
He said it was so awful that interns get hit on in Washington.
He said it was so awful that interns are so innocent when they get to Washington.
Bill Bennett ( R-Still Smoking) doesn't give a goddamn about Chandra
He was on Larry King last night so he could be a political whore.
If he was a man of virtue,
If he was a decent man trying to help,
If he wasn't such a slimy, bought-and-paid-for whore,
he would've attacked Gingrich for screwing a staffer.
He would say it was so awful that staffers
aren't safe in Washington.
He would say it was so awful that staffers get hit on in Washington.
He would say it was so awful that staffers are so innocent when they get to Washington.
Hey, asshole, what about that family Henry Hyde broke up?
What, those kids don't miss their mother?
What about Dan Burton's once-secret bastard?
You don't think that's a shame?
What about Bob Livingston's whore(s)?
What about Smirk's abortion for that 15-year old?
That was a felony in Texas in 1971, you whore.
Too bad CNN can't get transcripts up when they're still relevant.
CNN, you're such a nickle & dime outfit.
None of those instances outrage Bill Bennett, because they can't
to get closer to Bill Clinton's cock, and that's what Bennett dreams about at night.
Bennett's not outraged by republican immorality because he's only
to be outraged about immorality when he can tie it to a democrat.
Bill Bennett is such a whore
Cal Ripken Jr.
Did you see that home run he hit last night?
He got the MVP, too.
What a class act he is.
We're losing Cal after this year - that's a shame.
I hate it when I'm right
It is, in other words, a fraud.
That is the basis on which the tax cut was enacted.
The current surplus will not last.
The country is headed back to borrow-and-spend.
The tax cut hastens the day.
I had a request to print something today.
The request said, "Please use my formatting."
If you send a .doc to me, I can't save the
I'd hate to think people are assuming that I would impose my formatting on something sent to me.
Trust me, the last thing I have time for is to reformat a document sent for publication.
Maybe there's a quick and easy way to copy
and paste formatted text,
but Ol' IQ of 64 doesn't know the trick.
If you have something you've spent hours
formatting with italics, fonts and sizing,
send it to me in html format so I can just post it.
This is not meant as a complaint, I just
figured if people were asking me NOT
to format something, they must assume I have control over that ...and I don't.
Subject: The Last Picture Show
Last night I rented "The Last Picture Show" with
Jeff Bridges, Cybill Shephard,
Cloris Leachman, Ben Johnson and Timothy Bridges as Smirk, I mean 'Sonny'.
Koresh, no wonder Bottoms got the job of POTUS
on "That's My Bush".
Check him out in this movie. The beedy, close-set eyes, the slow, Texas drawl,
the cluelessness about life, the mussed hair, the job Smirk is actually qualified for
("Pool Hall Operator"), etc.
Only thing different between Sonny and Smirk is
that Sonny really is compassionate
(he has geniune empathy for the 'slow-witted' Billy, played by his real life brother Sam Bottoms
as well as for the lonely older woman, Ruth Popper, played by Cloris "Frau Blucher" Leachman).
B from NASA
I don't remember Tim Bottoms in The Last Picture Show.
...I remember Cybil Shepperd, tho...
Her performance was memorable.
Courtesy of the BartCop Collection
It was one of those Bill Bennett "destroy our children" movies.
plague Republicans, says study
Republicans have scarier and more frequent nightmares than Democrats
"What do you expect after eight years of William Jefferson Clinton?" Kevin Sheridan,
RNC deputy press secretary, told United Press International from Washington.
"If George W. Bush were the leader of my party,
I'd have trouble sleeping at night, too,"
Terry McAuliffe, Democratic National Committee chairman, told UPI.
I like this McAuliffe guy!
He's a fighter!
He's not afraid of Karl Rove.
He's not reading from some damn script.
...and the Republicans have nightmares?
That's not right.
You'd have to have a conscience to be haunted by something...
"His dilemma is coping with a
world that is changing in front of him.
He doesn't know what to do, except lose his temper, mouth his poisons
and look elsewhere to fix the blame for his own discomfort.
But he won't get to the root of the problem, because the problem
is himself and he doesn't know it."
Harvey to have surgery on torn vocal cords
Doctors puzzled how his throat was damaged this way
I molest horses.
Paul Harvey, aging right-wing harlot, has been off the air for two months with what was thought to be
laryngitis, will undergo surgery to repair torn vocal cords. During a recent examination at the Mayo Clinic,
doctors diagnosed the vocal cord problem, but so far, they have been unable to determine it's cause.
In a written message to his anxious affiliates
last month, Harvey sought to reassure them and his fans
that he would be back slurring Hillary and grabbing for Clinton's cock in no time..
the 'Ethical' Administration Lies About Contra War
Elliot Abrams is back at the White House
Abrams eventually satisfied felony charges with pleas to two misdemeanors
and was pardoned by the first President Bush just before he left office.
There are pardons, and there are pardons.
The president this latest Bush
replaced is still under investigation even for pardons he refused to grant.
But the new president Bush is busy restoring
"honor and dignity" to the White House.
The Restoration Administration has as its ethical premise that anything done by the good men
and women who it knows to be good men and women (that is, loyal to the Bush family)
obviously have unquestionable credentials and unassailable virtue.
Subject: Great News
I just got back from my endoscopic ultrasound
and it showed that my pancreas
was sore and irritated from all the stress I've been under, but otherwise it's OK.
My ulcer is cured and he gave me medicine to fix up my pancreas.
Soon I should be 100% back to normal.
Are you really going to toast me with a shot of
on your ezine?
Wow, I've dreamed of that.
Hey, William, you deserve a shot of Chinaco
for that scare.
How about a worldwide toast to William15's good medical news?
Salute, ...and toast... to WilliamL15's health.
Koresh, it's so sweet...
I can't believe it.
Just when you think it can't get any lower, it gets lower.
If I have this right, and Koresh knows thats a maybe, that stewardess
she found handcuffs or bondage ropes under Condit's bed, attached to the four posts.
...but this bastard Condit is probably headed for suicide, (hopefully
not on live TV.)
Just yesterday, I said if something else comes out - he's done, but he's probably done now
that they found those kinky bondage toys he might have used on the missing dead girl.
Oh, Koresh, how ugly does ugly get?
Condit is the first post-Clinton blood sport.
(Koresh knows why, but President Weak & Stupid is off limits)
The hounds sharpened their teeth under Clinton, and with Smirky being "off limits,"
the whore press finally has someone they need to (and have permission from Rove to) destroy.
They got to talk about cigars and Altoids writing about Clinton.
Now, it's whips and chains with Gary Condirt.
Boy - aren't we in for a fun rest of the year?
GOP treats Condit like one of its own
But Condit isn't being battered. Indeed, he is being praised by Republicans in California
and Washington as an able representative who deserves the benefit of the doubt.
GOP criticism of Condit is at least as restrained as that coming from his fellow Democrats.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.