"Bush is so stupid, if you put
his brain in a duck,
the duck would fly North for the winter."
-- El Pigbo, quoting a "Bush basher"
But Rush, but Rush...
If it's not true, ...if that's an unfair charge,
why doesn't Bush do a couple of live, prime-time press conferences
and impress everybody with his incredible command of foreign policy?
Bob Schieffer, you're such a whore...
I don't like stories about dead firefighters.
I don't like lying whores, either.
When the two meet, I get really pissed off.
Rush Limbaugh is setting new lows for vulgarity today.
Apparently, (Fox said it, so who knows?) some firefighters died because choppers
weren't allowed to get water from a nearby river to help them due to environmental
and ecological concerns, and El Pigbo is using the charred bodies of the men and women
to further stuff his mansion with tens of millions of dollars he could never spend.
Here's the deal, and it's so obvious to anybody with a brain.
IF there is a regulation that you
can't pull water from the river when lives are at stake
then it's a stupid law and should be re-written before close of business today.
Knowing the vulgar Pigboy like I do, I'll bet this isn't the case.
Who in this world would chose the protected species of fish over
firefighters who will be losing
their loives in the next two hours without that water?
I'm saying NOBODY would, and the lying Nazi whore is just playing with the dead bodies.
Rush loves playing with cadavers more than he loves money, tax cuts, golf and his wife combined.
Rush loves playing with cadavers more than he loves money, tax cuts, golf and his wife combined.
Throughout his career, he has enjoyed playing with cadavers -
even more than he enjoyed playing with
Clinton's zipper in the Great Cock Hunt, and I don't like him using those dead heroes to rake in those extra millions.
To hear the lying bastard tell the story, the firefighters called
the EPA and said,
"We need water in the next 30 minutes or those heroes will die," and the EPA said,
"Sorry, we might lose some fish, so we'll just have to let them die."
We ALL know it didn't happen that way.
IF (there's that word again) there's
a law on the books that says,
"Even with lives in immediate danger, water cannot be used," then change the law.
But if the people requesting the choppers didn't know lives were
at stake, then it's just
another attempt by Pigboy and Fox News to distort the truth.
Besides, who are these chopper pilots who refused to save those
lives when they had the chance?
If I was a pilot, and they told me, "They'll die without that water," I'd say "fuck the law"
and save those heroes and pity the fool who wanted a piece of me in court.
Click Here to read Fox News's incomplete, misleading half-story of this fire.
"Fox - We whore, you lap it up."
I was encouraged by yesterday's poll. Over 1000 people said,
"Go for it."
Does that mean if we promote the first show, we'll get 1,000 clicks?
Click Here for a bunch of BartCop Radio talk
"Zogby has been traditionally one of
the lowest, out of sync with the other major polls,
and I dismiss it. There were five other major media polls taken in mid-to-late July that
showed dramatically different and overwhelmingly positive results for President Bush.''
-- Ari Fleischer, calling Rush a liar. Rush always says Zogby is the best and most accurate,
...until Zogby gives them bad news, then they disavow his work.
Subject: Surround the White House Sept. 29
At the NYC anti-Smirk rally I picked up a flyer:
"National March On Washington DC"
Say no to racism and globalization
Surround the White House Sat., Sept.
Protest IMF/World Bank 9/30-10/3
Freedom for Mumia Abu-Jamal
End the racist death penalty
International Action Center
39 West 14th Street,
New York, NY (no zip)
On the back, it tells about the "Charleston
5" who are "under house arrest facing felony charges"
for joining a picket line organized by the International Longshore Association Local 1422 and 1771
(apparently, 600 South Carolina policemen beat the crap out of peaceful protesters)
Hmmm, I didn't see anything about this in
the "liberal media."
Judson, the idea of thousands and thousands of people surrounding
the White House
produces such a great visual in my mind. The TV cameras couldn't ignore that, could they?
They'd have to have a hueueueuge show of police to protect
& Stupid if they got rowdy,
and the networks would be forced to show that the public doesn't accept the Failure in Thief right?
by Margaret Shemo
From now on, I'm on Margaret's side - whatever the issue
Subject: 2 things from your 7/30/01 page
First, I heard that Ms. Reece has reconciled with
so the Bartcop hex continues to screw with Tiger Woo .
Second, the soldier who made the statement:
"We had to destroy the village in order to save it"
was none other than Alexander "I'm in charge" Haig.
Murder in Small Town X
Anyone else watch it?
Last night's show was twice as good as last week's show.
If they keep improving, it'll be better than West Wing in eight weeks.
I'm surprised they're able to pull this off as well as they can.
Editing must be a mother-bear, with nine (now eight) contestants and 14 (now 13)
suspects to keep track of. Trying to keep that straight is tough.
Of course, with my IQ of 64, I'm having trouble following things,
but that boat was good,
the pool of blood under the freezer was a nice touch, but the fingers in the sardine can rules!
It would've worked out better for me if there were only four suspects,
but more and more,
the networks aren't doing things to suit Ol' BartCop.
By next week, we could have a real show on our hands.
Send your reviews to Marty at firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Rudy Giuliani Moves in with Gay Man
Bartcop, i just read in the
Post this morning that Rudy Giuliani has not moved in with
his "girlfriend" Judi Nathan. With Gingrich like precision he seems to be free and clear
from his obligations to his kids and has moved in with a gay man who is "a close friend".
Isn't that how he first described Judi Nathan?
Now i personally don't think there's anything
wrong with man-man love but then again
i'm not a Republican. Laura and Rush has been intimating for years that certain people in
public life are gay, but where are they on Rudy? OK, that's a menage a trois made in hell.
i guess if you have an R behind your name
you can abandon your kids and lead a "degenrate" lifestyle.
Since it's been disclosed that Rudy has moved in with Howard Koeppel,
the NY Post has stopped referring to him as "gay millionaire."
Bill Maher had a good one last night. he said,
"I like Rudy, but he's changed. Years ago, he gave me the Key to the City,
but he can't do that anymore. He's in a lot of trouble for giving out keys."
would Clinton do if he was still president?
Steps he could take to reverse Smirky's recession
Subject: Phil Giordano
Did you ever hear people talk about that
parallel universe where Al Gore’s brother was the
governor of a pivotal state and his secretary of state was Gore’s state campaign co-chair?
Well dig this:
Suppose Gore/Lieberman won *and* were allowed to assume office – then suppose Lieberman’s
foe for the Connecticut senate seat actually won (implausible – but stay with me). Theoretically,
the repugnantklans would own the senate and Jim Jeffords (bless his heart and his backbone)
would probably have less reason to disagree with the current administration (if it were Al and Joe,
rather than Bushanddick). He would stay in the party and they would collectively oppose the
Gore nominations (unlike the party of pink tutus has been doing).
All would be well until the FBI cuffs and
stuffs freshman senator Phil Giordano (R-CT)
for ‘using an interstate device’ to coerce minors into having sex. Giordano is currently
mayor of Waterbury, CT and is being held, without bail, at an undisclosed facility.
The minors allegedly are aged 8 and 10 (or 9 and 11 depending where you get your news from).
Granted, Governor John Rowland would probably
appoint Nancy Johnson as Phil’s replacement
but there would be this giant sucking sound coming from the AM radios and FreeRepublic/Drudge
web sites as they scrambled to not report on the lack of morals on the part of this ‘scumbag’
(Burton’s word, not mine).
Norm, as Artie Johnson used to say, "...verrry
And thanks again for the Danny Gatton CD.
Worst Idea I've Heard Lately
First, we organize a big trip to Las Vegas, then have the players
like on Murder in Small Town X and figure out which of us is BartCop.
You know, ...I could be a black, Jewish female of 25, making up
Mrs. BartCop as a cover - or I could be a retired lesbian postal worker.
We could break into groups and ask questions and eliminate suspects, one by one.
Or, we could all meet at a bar that served Chinaco Anejo
and whoever was having
the best time blowing Chinaco fumes out his (or her) nose would be probably be BartCop.
Subject: Mean to Green
> YOU and the Greens chose Bush over Gore.
> YOU and the Greens voted for the moron, not the Democrats.
> One thing tho, you've lost your right to complain.
> If we lose Roe v Wade, or Smirk starts drilling Alaska, or gas goes to $3 a gallon
> when Condit costs us the House next year, you'll have to remain silent because
> YOU and the Greens could've chosen Gore but you chose the moron, instead.
a) that's a classic example of convoluted logic
That's a hit-and-run cheap shot.
You want to call my position "illogical," without saying why?
You have a complaint, but you don't say what it is.
We have a rule here - it should be the rule everywhere.
"You should only have strong feelings about subjects you can explain."
If you don't know enough about it, maybe it'd be best to listen
until you are in a position to take a stand and defend yourself.
It's real easy to say, "Your ideas suck,"
then move to another subject.
That way you never have to take a position.
b) can't understand why you direct so much
towards the Greens when there are enough real enemies
I don't stay up nights planning revenge or anything, but we told
you before the election
that your misplaced idealism could put Bush in the White House, but you did it anyway
and now you don't want to accept any responsibility. Going into the final weekend,
all pollsters said the race was too close to call, and you still voted for Nader.
At least some of the blame goes to the misguided Greens.
c) for me you've gone from being a hero to
the Limbaugh of the political center
(no wonder you fixate on him so much, he's your tactical role model).
Richard, I know you meant that as an insult, but you couldn't
quite pull it off.
Yeah, I'm in the center - with Clinton and the American voters.
If I'm a right-winger, compared to you, maybe the problem is you're too far left.
This last election, my guy won the popular vote, your guy got what, 3 percent?
Do you want to lose every election the rest of your life?
It seems to me your only position is "Bush
and Gore were twins,"
but I can't be sure because you're doing a bad job of making your point.
I'm not trying to be anybody's hero - I'm just speaking the truth.
Unlike you, I'm able to defend the positions I take.
Do you wear your left-wing extremism as a badge of honor?
When you get together with other Greens, do you high-five each other over the fact
that your boy can't get more than 3 percent?
What does that get you?
What have you won?
I can tell you what you've lost, but what do you think you've won?
Carter, Mondale and Dukakis were all to the left of Clinton,
and what did it get them?
When I was in the rock n roll business, I'd see bands that were so terrified of being called
a "pop band" that they'd intentionally play obscure metal songs to avoid the charge of "selling out."
But by doing so, their crowds got smaller and smaller.
They stopped playing songs the people liked, and instead played songs the other bands liked.
Now they have short hair and work for whitey.
Don't mistake being popular with selling out - you'll never win an election being too far left.
And what good does it do your cause to have Bush appointing judges?
"Now I feel like I'm home," Clinton said as the crowd cheered.
This president is popular with the people.
they think about the long run?
by Tally Briggs as seen at OnlineJournal.com
Subject: Chinaco Blanco y Reposado
I went to my local bottle shop to finally give
in, part with $50, and find out what all the rage is over this
Chinco Anejo. When I got there, I found Chinaco Blanco and Chinaco Reposado, but no Anejo.
I asked the clerk if they were ever going to get in the Anejo only to find that they had just started getting
Chinaco in the store and in all likelyhood, they probably weren't going to keep getting it.
Needless to say I was bummed. That store
was probably the best in town in which to find a high quality tequila.
I checked the other likely stores and found nothing.
So, if I am FORCED to chose between a Patron,
or the Chinaco Blanco or Reposado, what do I do, hotshot?
What do I do?
With love and no tequila,
Pedro, you did good NOT buying the Chinaco Blanco or Reposado.
I don't like either one of them.
The Patron isn't bad, it'll do in a pinch, but I wouldn't buy
The Wabo Cabo was the very first fine tequila I ever tried, about 26 months ago.
(The story is buried in the archives, somewhere) and I remember it was "no big deal,"
but that was with my virgin palate, so I really should give Sammy another try.
"No big deal" might mean it was extra smooth, so I'll give Sammy another test drive
next time I'm at a Mexican restaurant.
If I was you, I'd buy Grey Goose vodka or cheap whisky
until you can get
your hands on the good stuff. If you try an inferior agave, it might turn you off
to the good stuff and that'd be a crime.
"Teenagers shouldn't be allowed to date.
Dating is the search for a spouse - someone with whom to build a family.
teenagers shouldn't be thinking about building a family, so they shouldn't be dating."
-- Laura the Unloved, who screwed every man at UCLA her freshman year.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.