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Volume 550 - Party Animals
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 August 8, 2001.  ..... ...  .............  Sabutai Concert 
  BartCop RadioThursdays  8 PM CST
 David Stoddard - I lost your address, but  I liked your "Talk radio" song,  will play on BartCop Radio
 When I installed the new Eudora, it erased 13,000 messages, the bastards. 

 The Laziest Resident in History

 Click  Here

 By the time President Bush returns to Washington on Labor Day after the longest presidential
 vacation in 32 years, he will have spent all or part of 54 days since the inauguration at his parched
 but beloved ranch. That's almost a quarter of his presidency.

 Throw in four days last month at his parents' seaside estate in Kennebunkport, Maine, and 38 full
 or partial days at the presidential retreat at Camp David, and Bush will have spent 42 percent of
 his presidency at vacation spots or en route.

 Many of those days are weekends, and the Camp David stays have included working visits with
 foreign leaders. But administration officials, who initially believed that regular trips to the Texas ranch
 enhanced Bush's image as a rugged outsider, are acting like they may be worried about the perception
 that he is loafing.

 Hot stuff!


Subject: Marion "Pat" Robertson being sued for racism


did you know that there is a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the so-called Christian Coalition
in which past and present employees are alleging racial discrimination?  they are claiming,
among other things that there are separate eating facilities for African Americans.

These are the type of folks that Bush wants to give money?

i suppose when they talk about "founder's intent" conservatives mean the founders of the Confederacy.
Of course, those of us following Marion's career over the years have grown to expect this sort of thing.
We all know, for example, that Marion's dad was US Senator A. Willis Robertson, bitter Virginia segregationist.
i suppose the bad apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The first link below is a story about the lawsuit; the second is what we can expect from faith based initiatives.




The idea that your network is kowtowing to the fascist wing of the Republican Party is,
to say the least, EXTREMELY DISTURBING.

You do so at your own financial risk in terms of ratings and advertiser support.

In fact you SHOULD be going in the EXACT OPPOSITE direction --- giving more
Democrats and Republican moderates an exclusive forum for their views to offset the
Nazis on the "We distort --- you submit" Network.


 I don't mean to name drop, but I must.
 Last night, while watching Murder in Small Town X,
 Julie Hiatt Steele called and we talked quite a long time, so I missed most of the show.

 Good thing I read  so I can get the details.
 By the way, and I know you hate when I do this, but Ms. Steele and I
 have a project working that's absolutely hueueueueueueueueueuge.

 With some luck, I'll have an announcement a week from today.
  (Melic knows, but she's agreed to keep it a secret.)

 Is it bigger than the premier of  BartCop Radio?


 From: (withheld)

  As far as I know, the FCC has no control over internet radio.
You can drink until you fall into the microphone and knock yourself silly
and the FCC can't say a word. You can also use whatever language you want.

I always have and I always will.
Of course, if I go on some legit show, I'll be on better behavior,
but in my little treehouse I'm going to be myself.

Your new boss might want control for his own purposes but the FCC have
no say in the matter. The FCC only has control over stations that use
the public airwaves. How is he going to know if you're drinking anyway?
I look forward to seeing how many shots it takes before you start slurring your words.

That's not what it's about.
I might have a giraffe of wine to calm the nerves before the big premier,
and I'll certainly be enjoying the Miracle of Canaan during the show,

but I have no desire to pull a Jenna Bush.

BTW, if there's any dead air, just assume I'm sipping...

Speaking of control....did Mr. Murdoch give you any guidelines as to language or content?

No, but I want it to be about as rowdy as this page.
I've always hated it when someone says, "pass the fucking salt."
That's prison talk.  But sometimes I get a little worked up, so if I say,
"The son of a bitch sold Stinger missles to the fucking Ayatollah," that's different.

Is there a list of words that may not be uttered at anytime or can we speak like adults?

Again, like the page.
BTW, since I ran Ann Coulter's e-mail address, people have been writing to her (and CC-ing me)
where they call her a "sloppy c*nt," which is where I don't want to go.  We can speak more freely
than they do on Crossfire or Capital Gang, but I believe the First Amendment is secure
and we don't need to test it's boundaries on our little comedy endeavor.

Another BTW:
This will be an attempt at comedy.
Well, maybe not so much tomorrow night, in particular, but I don't think we need to get into
deep subjects that make me go to sleep. I have the attention span of a ferret on Jamocha Latte,
but if I get bored we'll shift the talk back to Jenna's lesbian identity crisis.

Maybe tomorrow night we can do some on-air auditions.
If you do a funny voice or a character, be sure to call!

Isn't it exciting?  Only 29 hours until BartCop Radio.

Pigboy says "Liberals can't make it on radio."

I say he's wrong.

From: Michael Dare

Subject: 6 questions

1. Smoking pot - are you for more or less government?
2. Eminem on the radio - are you for more or less government?
3. Women's reproductive freedom, are you for more or less government?
4. Liquor store laws - are you for more or less government?
5. Pornography - are you for more or less government?
6. The Internet - are you for more or less government?

These are all the same issue.
In the land of the free, every adult human being should have access to all 6.

But children are another story. As a parent, I don't want my children smoking pot,
listening to Eminem, getting abortions, buying liquor, looking at pornography, or making
friends with pederasts on the Internet, at least not without my permission and/or guidance.

Do I need the government's help to protect my children?
Damn right I do.  It's a big world out there, parenting is the toughest job on earth,
and I need all the help I can get. It's not a liberal vs. conservative issue.
Does anybody think children should be able to buy booze, drive cars,
or witness adult entertainment? I don't think so. The answers are simple.

1. Show ID
2. Adult stations only
3. Show ID
4. Show ID
5. Show ID
6. Show ID


 Internet Rumor

 Conservatives are roaring mad at Geraldo Rivera. It seems that while
 reading a report of a new strain of pig being delivered to President Bush's
 ranch this week, a Geraldo staffer mistakenly put a picture of Rush Limbaugh
 on the screen behind Geraldo. Geraldo producers promised a full investigation.

 ha ha

Elizabeth Dole Considers Senate Run

 Elizabitch Dole is weighing a race for the Senate in Carolina next year
 in the event Jesse Helms (R-Whitepowerforever) retires next year.

"If he decides not to seek re-election, I need the ego boost,'' said Mrs. Viagra.

 Caveboy is expected to announce his plans this fall.

 But Elizabitch, what about this photo?

 Pigboy keeps ranting that President Gilligan is vacationing "on his own ranch."

 "Clinton never vacationed on his own ranch," he squealing, again and again.

 Gee, Rush, do you think that's because Clinton's daddy wasn't filthy rich
 from the illegal deals he made with OPEC after 250 Americans died in Desert Storm?

 Bush takes huge surplus to ZERO in just seven months
  Surplus dwindles to zero amid Bush tax cuts, spending

 Click  Here

 There are many people to "thank" for the missing hundreds of billions,
 but there's one son of a bitch who stands out...

                 Accurate phototoon by Wizard of Whimsy

 Police Use of Force in Genoa Raises Outcry Weeks Later

 Click  Here

 More than two weeks ago, Susan Hager received a telephone call in Portland,
 about her daughter, a student who had stopped off in Genoa to join protesters at the Group of 8
 summit meeting on her way to a junior year abroad program in Siena.

 "Her friend had found her bloody belongings" at the Armando Diaz school complex in Genoa where
 protesters had been staying, Mrs. Hager said. There, in the early hours of July 22, 92 young people
 were dragged from their beds by squads of Italian anti-riot police officers who beat and jailed them.

            I don't care.
     There's no oil in Genoa.

Bush Twins: Party Animals

World Entertainment News Network--After several police cautions and court appearances,
President Gilligan's twin daughters are still partying hard. JENNA and BARBARA, 19, are fast
becoming regulars on the Hollywood party circuit, while Jenna is working as a summer intern in
the Los Angeles management company BRILLSTEIN-GREY.

THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER plan to publish a photo of blonde sister Jenna, boozing at a club,
just 24 hours after her mother LAURA BUSH told the media on CNN's INSIDE POLITICS
show to stop covering her daughters. Jenna, the wilder of the two, has already been fined and had her
driver's license suspended after two underage drinking offences in the country where the legal age is 21.

The following night, the girls partied with stars at a party thrown for American Pie 2 2 star Jason Biggs.
A source told the Enquirer, "They don't seem to care about getting caught anymore. Their mother is
condemning the media for writing about them, but they're the ones who are going out every night."

Why should they worry?
Daddy has three convictions that we know of  (the press refuses to ask) and Grandpa
sold Stingers to the Ayatollah after swearing he didn't and he was quickly forgiven.

Uncle Jeb fixed an election that pissed all over 225 years of free voting, while Aunt Columbo
got caught trying to smuggle undeclared jewelry past customs in Miami, but that's OK.

Cousin Pee got drunk and did donuts in an ex-girlfriend's lawn before breaking and entering
into her house to do Koresh knows what to her helpless form.

...and don't even ask about Uncle Kneel, the Butcher of Silverado.
He stole $60,000,000 from the taxpayers in Colorado, but we forgave him.

You see, none of these crimes has to do with Clinton's zipper, so they'renot crimes.
But if Clinton notices a woman's cleavage, the Clinton Cock Network and Fox Whore News
go ga-ga with coverage of "this constitutional crisis" round-the-clock.

 This Just In...

 In keeping with their new policy of appealing to right wing apes,
 CNN is now reporting that the Sun revolves around the Earth,
 regardless of what left wing wackos like Copernicus say.

 After all he is a convicted Heretic.

 And, when the college drop out with his famous radio show says
 "There is no global warming," that's important news.

  "You have your experts, I have mine," he says.

 His opinion is obviously as important as that of career
 research climatologists with doctorates in science.

 More on that Jenna lesbian business

               This is in the next National Enquirer, which is as credible as the New York Whore Times

  The president's drunken daughter doing lesbo?
  That's hotter than Texas is this afternoon.


 Subject: The eloquent Prez speaks

 "It'll be the house where I live in for the rest of my life."
    -- Smirk, as quoted by CNN today

    Thanks to neilrmurray

 Proof that George W. Bush is an idiot
   Friday, August 3, USA Today, page 10A

 When reporters asked Bush what he'd be doing in Texas, he replied to them:

 "I look forward to seeing the cows - occasionally they talk to me,
   being the good listener that I am."
     -- that's our president speaking, that's how he "thinks"

 Since that made him look like a total idiot,  Dick Cheney whipped up a statement
 for him to practice, then practice some more, then read to reporters a couple of days later.

 "I'll be going to my ranch in Crawford where I'll work and take a little time off.
   I think it is so important for a president to spend some time away from Washington,
   in the heartland of America."
   -- that's Cheney talking, and some newbie added the crap about the heartland.

 He needs a damn baby-sitter 24/7.
 He can't be allowed near a microphone cause Gilligan will screw everything up.
 He has no idea what he's doing, and a live press conference with energetic follow-ups
 would prove that, ...unless he just takes questions from the Murdoch-payroll shills from Fox.

 Come for the photos of Jenna at a tableful of drinks.
  Stay for the steamy lesbian stories in this week's National Enquirer


From: Tamara Baker

Subject:   "The Patriot": Right-wing lies from beginning to end

Of course, since Ditto-Spanks are The People of the Lie,
it stands to reason that they'd love NaziBoy Mel's film.

Geez, where do I start?

1) The British never locked any Colonials in any kind of building and then set it on fire.
The film's German director took that scene from what some German soldiers did in World War II.
Wrong century, wrong continent, wrong set of combatants.  But you notice that wingies have to
have their movie baddies as nasty as possible, even if it's a lie.
(Well, since these ARE the PotL we're talking about, ESPECIALLY if it's a  lie.)

2) Guns were rare, damned rare, in the Colonies at the time.  We're talking about things that cost,
back then, the equivalent of what a new car costs today.  In fact, the biggest problem the Continental
Army faced  was a shortage of arms and munitions.

Which leads me to this:

3) We didn't throw off the hated British tyranny all by our lonesomes.   If it wasn't for the French
government's virtually emptying its treasury in order to prop us up -- one of the things that helped
touch off France's own revolution in 1789 -- we'd still be British subjects.

Remember, France and Britain were fighting, essentially, the first World War:  they were fighting
not just in North America, but in India and Southeast Asia as well.  The Brits eventually won the
world-wide war, but only by deciding that their time and effort was better spent defending the far
richer land mass of India from French incursions, than it was trying to hold onto what was then
still mostly howling wilderness.


 G.O.P. Couple Recruited Green Party Candidates
    by the conveniently faceless AP

  Click  Here

Liberal Media, My Ass
 By Black Max

 Click Here

 A Google search for “Lori Klausutis” and “Joe Scarborough” turned up one document,
 a HUD listing.  No news articles.  A similar search for “Philip Giordano” and “sexual misconduct”
 also turned up one document, a Roll Call election preview.  Again, no news articles.

 A search for “Gary Condit” and "Chandra Levy” turned up 8,410 documents; the first results were
 variously titled “A Sex Scandal?,”  “The Naked Truth about Gary Condit,” “Don Juan in Hell,”
“Gary Condit is Acting Just Like Bill Clinton,” and so forth.  On today’s front page,
 Condit-Levy is a featured article, with film and a timeline.
 No mention is made of either the Scarborough or Giordano cases;


 Subject:  Nader voters

Smirk isn't in the White House because of Nader voters.  He is in the White
House because he's a cheating sack o' crap (see my site for details and links...
none of which should be big news to you but it is always nice to have references).
I suspect that most of those who voted for Nader probably would have stayed home
if it were only Gore and Smirk (Buchanan doesn't count 'cos he's not even human).

I think the "blame Nader" thing is load of media inspired garbage.  If the media can't
chalk up the Bush victory to a Green stab-in-the-back then they would have to start
asking some serious questions about what happened down in Florida, both before
and after the election.  Ooooh, and we both know THAT isn't going to happen.

That's a damn good point.

I mean, how would it look if Jeb, and Katherine, and Duh-bah-ya, and Rove, and many
more had to be indicted and jailed?  No.  That story is too hard for our media to cover
anyway (As opposed to the BBC).  Instead, we'll just get FOX news and Chandra Levy's
coochie until the next "Monica" comes along, if you follow my drift.

Lastly, it seems intellectually dishonest to blame the Greens AND
accuse Smirk of cheating at the same time.

Think of it as a football game.
Our team dropped a lot of passes, and seemed tired in the second half,
like they didn't have the will to win. On top of that, the referees called our team
for holding every time we made a big play, but they let the other team get away with murder.

That shows how two separate things can effect the outcome,
but I really like your theory that if we don't blame Nader
the whore press might actually have to tell the truth.

  ...has been updated - give it a click


Subject: Radio Free Chinaco


Radio man is right about the Chinaco.
There is an FCC regulation against on air drinking.
I've been down this road before when a friend and I tried to get a small station going.

However, there must be some sort of loophole because I've heard people drinking
on the radio under the guise of some experiment concerning the effects of alcohol.
I'm sure you can find that loophole.


Gens, good one.
Only The Big Dog is better at exploiting a loophole than me.

As far back as Volume 94, I was busy conducting important research into the effects of
fine alcohol mixed with dry desert air while gambling, with significant results, I might ad.

We will continue our on-going research into fine tequila.

 Tally Briggs / Actress at Large

 Sliman Inaccuracies

  Click  Here


Subject:  Aug 8 Janet Reno cartoon


There's a big problem with that Janet Reno cartoon. The message was that Janet Reno
is so corrupt, republicans are begging her to run so she'll have to defend her record.

The cartoon was penned by one of the most hateful, right-wing pricks this country has ever produced -
Michael Ramirez of the Los Angeles Times. Swear to Koresh, he's the only guy in the country that I would
spit on if I saw him. Like you, I try to debate as reasonably as possible with my conservative colleagues.
But Ramirez is different. The lying sonovabitch gets way too much attention as it is and he sure as hell
doesn't belong on

Very best regards,

Clay Landon

Clay, I see what you're saying, but it's one of the most interesting upcoming stories.
Janet Reno has almost no friends.
I can't see Clinton campaigning for her, but he's a bigger man than I am, so he might.

The GOP seems to think Jeb will win easily if Reno runs.
If Reno beats Jeb, or even gives him a race, that's a big black eye for Smirk's brother.
So how angry at Jeb are the Florides?*

People like Ramirez are making this Jeb's Last Stand.
By publishing that toon now, it makes Jeb's possible loss much tougher to spin later.

Peter Sliman's Movie Review
   by Margaret Shemo

 Click  Here

 I don't doubt that every day, Peter Sliman feels under pressure from "those who are more qualified, capable
 and intelligent."  He even has a name for the smart people who are out to get him: "liberals."  Those educated
 spoilsports would point out to him that the oppressors -- for example, the Confederacy, the most notorious
 enemy of freedom in our nation's history -- always have guns, too.

 Evidence Mounts of Price Fixing
  What's going on here? Mr. Rove would never approve this story...,1597,305364-412,00.shtml

 "We can definitely document hundreds of millions of dollars that California is
   due in refunds because the price of natural gas was artificially high because of
   El Paso's illegal activity," says Lorretta Lynch of the California Utilities Commission.

From:  WilliamL15

Subject:  New Forum

Hey, BC!

A bunch of us have started a new forum called the 'Uncommon Ground' forum.
It is a forum for civil discourse of the issues between Democrats, Republicans,
and all others. It is a moderated forum that has moderators from the left and the right.
We don't allow swearing or flaming there.

Don't believe me? Check it out!

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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