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A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
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Volume 736 - One Mistake's All it Takes


 Tuesday     March 5, 2002          Send Me an Angel        Recent old stuff        Shopping w/ Bart

  How the "felon" voter-purge was itself felonious
    by Greg Palast

    Click  Here

 In November the U.S. media, lost in patriotic reverie, dressed up the
 Florida recount as a victory for President Bush. But however one reads
 the ballots, Bush's win would certainly have been jeopardized had not
 some Floridians been barred from casting ballots at all. Between May
 1999 and Election Day 2000, two Florida secretaries of state - Sandra
 Mortham and Katherine Harris, both protégées of Governor Jeb Bush-
 ordered 57,700 "ex-felons," who are prohibited from voting by state law,
 to be removed from voter rolls.

 Bush Preaches to the Choir
   by Father Mushroom

  Click  Here

 Bush did praise one teacher from a "needy area," a teacher he brought up on stage
 from Patrick Henry High School in Minneapolis.  Patrick Henry is the antithesis of
 Eden Prairie--mostly black, inner city, lower income--a tough school with tough kids
 who don't usually go to college but do kick everyone's asses in the state basketball
 tournament.  Bush smartly brought the teacher from Henry down to Eden Prairie.
 I can't imagine his message would have sold as well there.

 Pretzel protesters


 The protests produced one odd piece of street theater. A few demonstrators
 tossed pretzels into the air, mocking Bush's awkward encounter with one in
 January as he watched a football game on TV.

 Minneapolis police arrested two of the pretzel wielders. When a police
 supervisor was asked what charges would be brought against the pair, he cracked,
 "It's got to be a felony. You could have called it attempted murder."

 Felony pretzel tossing?

Ashcroft tackles X-Rated Statuary
 Cats and rats behind the curtain
 by Maureen Dowd - she hates everybody - today it's Ashcroft

 Click  Here

 The vice president and president are really concerned about the privacy of power.
 They want to do what they want to do, and be accountable to no one. The stonewalling
 on the energy task force and the unilateralism on Camp X-ray are two sides of the same coin.

 The theme of Bush I is now the theme of Bush II: Trust us, even if we won't
 let you verify. We know we're right. We answer to no one.

From: politicalstrikes.com

Subject: Bartcop on the radio!!

Sort of.
I just discovered http://ieamericaradio.com

They have two liberal talk show hosts on all day, weekdays.

9am-12N Peter Werbe   12N-3pm Mike Malloy
3pm-6pm Peter Werbe (encore)   6pm-9pm Mike Malloy (encore)

Times are PST.

Just heard Malloy read a Daily Brew article, calling Russert a Media Whore, playing clips of Lott
- calling him a liar and a chickenhawk, mentioning gwbush.com and ol' Bartcop himself and more...

Bashing Bush, calling Rush 'Pigman'- pointing out how he is being punished by God...
Sounds just like I'd imagine Bartcop would sound if he had a radio show
(except with a higher I.Q. and without the bad language ;-)


Kevin at PoliticalStrikes.com

Kevin, if I could dump this day job, I think I'd be a real riot on the radio.

If I had a three hour show like the vulgar Pigboy, I'd want that middle hour every day
to be nothing but ditto-monkey callers who were willing to "straighten me out."

That would be entertainment.


 I don't need a parade of poll-driven political operatives to tell me what to do.
 I'm not Bill Clinton.

 I certainly don't need a New Age fashion consultant telling me what to wear or how to part my hair.
 I'm not Al Gore.

 I don't need a small army of handlers to tell me when to act angry, furrow my brow and pound the podium.
 I'm not Dick Gephardt.

 And I sure don't need a bunch of think-tank intellectuals instructing me where I should stand
 on the issues that truly matter and never change.
 I'm not Tom Daschle.

 I'm Bob Barr, an unwavering, unflinching conservative who seeks God's guidance, trusts the Constitution
 and has high hopes that one man who fights hard and stays true to his convictions WILL make a difference."
  -- from a Bob Barr fundraising letter

 I've never paid an abortionist to kill my unborn daughter..
 I'm not Bob Barr.
  -- from a  bartcop.com  fundraiser

  The Bushonian Agenda:
 Citizen Profiling & Internal Security
    by Al Martin

   Click  Here

 The House of Bush wants to use your local Neighborhood Crime Watch Association to act as
 a Big Brother surrogate.   First, the Civilian Defense Force will coordinate the so-called Local Citizen's
 Profiling Program, and this is where the Neighborhood Watch comes in.

 They need it because they figure that these are people from the community, who have lived there a long
 time and they know everybody. They know who's a Republican or a Democrat, who's a Christian or a Jew,
 and so on. They also know people's political feelings and their dispositions.
   That's why the Neighborhood Watch is being used in this capacity - to begin to establish Citizen Profile
 sheets. It will essentially be all the usual stuff - name, date of birth, religious affiliation, political party,
 education, medical history, firearms ownership, memberships in organizations, etc.
   Then they will gather information on whether you have protested against the government in the past,
 if you have been known to harbor views contrary to the "security of the State" or "injurious to the
 domestic tranquility of the people."

Putin's Puppet

From: Marty Lenhart

Subject: What about Eric Rudolph?

Hey BC!

With all this talk from the Bush junta about hunting down terrorists, you figure that they would put
a little more effort into catching our own terrorist Eric Rudolph. Remember him? He was the one
who set off the bomb at the Atlanta Olympics 6 YEARS AGO and also bombed some abortion clinics
before hightailing it for the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina.

I guess in the regime's eyes, because it was godless babykillers and those damned multiculturalists
at the Olympics, they would rather drag their feet on finding Rudolph along with the sender of the
anthrax letters! So much for the war on terra.

Marty Lenhart

Marty, Rudolph is a Republican murderer.
Not dangerous, like a calico cat or something...

 Can We Forgive David Brock?
 A right-wing conspirator comes clean

  Click  Here


 "The Clinton era is likely to be remembered more for the ferocity
    of  its prosecutions than for the severity of its crimes."
     --  Joe Klein's new book, The Natural


    Daily Life

From: BABF

Subject: Saturday Night Live

Hey Bart-

I read your column every day. It gives me something to wake up for.
I am writing to inform you in case you didn't see it. On SNL- Tina Fay did a story about
Hairy Flyswatter blaming Clinton for the situation in the Middle East. She then commented
"O.K., once and for all, let's get this straight.

He did this (picture of Monica)

He didn't do this (Picture of NYC post 9/11)

He did this (picture of Monica)

He didn't do this (graphic of stocks sinking)

He did this (picture of Monica)

He didn't do this (Enron Logo)

He did this (picture of Monica)

He didn't do this (picture of Hillary)

While it does take a little bite out of him on the stupid ass sex thing, I'll bet even the BigDog himself
got a kick out of it as it clearly points out that the only thing Clinton is responsible for is being fodder
for a sex hungry press that doesn't want to let go of his throbbing purple love dragon.

He is not responsible for the giant shit the stock market took. He is not responsible for Enronomics.
He is not responsible for 9-11. He is not responsible for the deficit spending that our children's children's
children will now have to pay off at the benefit of the unelected resident and his Carlysle cronies.
No- All that horrible shit happened at the hands of the Usurper in Chief and his jackbooted jihad loving cabinet.

I say a shot of Chinaco ( although I personally prefer Patron) for Tina Fay
and whoever had the balls to write that segment.


A bigass Bartcop Fan

BABF, I saw that and liked it, altho we could've done without
the cheap personal shot at the end, but Tina's OK in my book.

 An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele

 Click  Here   we have a new total.

 Write to Julie at   PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451

 E-mail to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 PayPal to Julie, Click  Here  -> 

 If you send me any correspondence about this, anything at all,
 please send your phone number with EACH e-mail you send.

 Send Juliefest stuff to  Juliefest2002@yahoo.com


"Verily, I say unto thee, Katie: Making copies of "What Would Betty Do?" available
   in bookstores throughout America is tantamount to me running down to every Ace
   Hardware store in the land with the keys to Heaven and making copies for everyone."
    -- Mrs. Betty Bowers, on the Today Show.

From: Manny

Subject: re: Batman comic

     I was wondering if you ever read the D.C. comic "Dark Knight 2"?
It just came out recently, and takes place in the near future.  The country is completely apathetic
about the state of the government.  The president was put in office (rather than elected) by a group
of people working above the government, and there is question whether the president is real or just
a computer image (but it doesn't matter if he's real or not because he's doing what's good for us!).

Enter the Batman.
He sees what's really going on and spurs on a revolution to give the country back to the people.
The book is actually a good read and very timely.  The best part is that the president looks like a
cross between Dubya and Ronny Reagan.

After reading it I got to thinking:
Bartcop/Bruce Wayne, Bartcop/ Bruce Wayne...

Keep up the fight,

ha ha
I have a couple of thousand Batman/Superman comics
 but I stopped buying them when I started having sex :)

 Reminder - it's "safe" to write in,
  because we're no longer printing your e-mail address.

  ...unless you specifically request it.


 Tonite, at Momo's in Austin,
  ...the best guitar player in the state of Texas.

      Rick del Castillo

 There's gotta be some  bartcop.com  readers in Austin,
 maybe even some who play guitar. Could someone go to Momo's
 tonight and write a report on this best-of-all Texas guitar slingers?

 I haven't seen/heard him in years, I can only imagine how good he is now.
 Maybe I could send Marty some MP3s to play over at 
 Also, when is that Austin SWSW thing?
 I'd like to see Austin's best against the best-in-Texas.

 Don't forget to check 

From: A sanity-challenged soul

Subject: You owe an apology

I was a little annoyed at you wanting to kill more Somalis.
Haven't enough Somalis died already?
Why do you want to kill MORE?

I cannot understand you.
It is OK for American soldiers to go to a place and shoot the locals to RIBBONS


Have you not done enough damage?

And so Bartcop wants all the Somalis dead.

you are an American man, Bartcop, and an American man such as yourself has to kill
a Somali when he cannot kill a mockingbird. Avenge your self. Nuke their pregnant women.
Strafe the Somali. Finish what you started. What are you waiting for?
But Bartcop is not satisfied. He wants more Somalis to die.

I am waiting for an apology. Or a least an explanation.

The explanation is that help is available.
Look under "Mental Health Facilities" in the Yellow Pages.

Where do people like you get these wild ideas?
"BartCop wants all the Somalis dead?"

I'll bet the doves are cringing that you're speaking for them.

  I've been looking for this for over a year.
  Thanks to The Ox for finding it.

 Anger at peace talks 'meddling'
  Bush advisers tell Israelis to be ready
  to walk out of Camp David negotiations

 Click  Here

 No excerpt - gotta read

 Just like when Bush the Smarter made that secret, illegal deal with Islamic Jihad in 1980 (October Surprise)
 the Bush camp told Israel they'd get a better deal if they refused to deal with America's legal government.

 I can't say we'd have peace in the Middle East if the B.F.E.E. hadn't meddled in Clinton's foreign policy,
 but they damn sure get a share of the blame since the violence has escalated like crazy since the
 Bush/Sharon warmongers have usurped the Clinton/Barak peacemakers.

 ...and do you know why?

 When the Middle East is in flames, the price of oil goes up and the Bush Family Evil Empire,
 with their western hemisphere oil monolopy, makes a few more dollars and that's the whole
 reason they stole their wasy into the White House in the first place.

 The B.F.E.E. makes money when there's strife, war, recession and turmoil.
 The B.F.E.E. always gets theirs, and if hundreds or thousands die, ...well, ...that's capitalism.

 Check today's 

 Marty has audio of the evil Bush boy bragging about "Hitting the trifecta."

 The wise-ass son of a bitch keeps saying it, to applause and laughter.

 Click  here  and search for "trifecta" and listen to this outrage.

        "Lucky me, I hit the trifecta"

 All of us don't feel as "lucky" as you, George.

Short & Damn Sweet

I must've read this wrong.
It sounds like a Democrat with balls, and that can't be...
It sounds like a man, not a boy wearing a pink tutu.

This is Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich:

 Click  Here

"The trappings of a state of siege trap us in a state of fear,
  ill-equipped to deal with the Patriot Games,
  the Mind Games, the War Games of an unelected President
  and his unelected Vice President."

 So far, he's got my vote for president.
 Jesus, is there actually life in the Democratic party?

From: nova@purdue.edu

Subject: Tulsa Race Riots

Does the city of Tulsa, OK owe the survivors of the Tulsa Race Riots of 1921 reparations?
Since you live and work in Tulsa, I was wondering if we could get a short blurb from you on your viewpoints.
What do the race relations "feel" like right now in Tulsa?

Oh, and you can go ahead and print my email address.
I eat ditto monkeys for breakfast.

Here's the link:


Sean, even tho they talk about it constantly here, I don't know much about it.
It seems in 1921, a black man looked at a white girl's legs as she got on an elevator
and that's all whitey needed to form a mob with torches and burn the black part of town

So, yeah, if Grandma's house was torched, the descendants should get reparations.

Sadly, in Tulsa, the blacks seem to know "their place."
Sometimes I'll be behind a black man in line at a bakery or something and the baker
will say, "Who's next?" and the black guy will defer to me even tho he's in front of me.

It's sad that they feel they have to do that - damn sad.
But, sadder still, there's peace between the races here because blacks don't push it.
They know this is the land of Pissquik Inhofe, Don Nickles and Uncle OJ Watts.

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