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20 Monkey Protest INFO Let
us hear from you so you can join in and carry a sign
or take pictures.
Volume 1476 -
One was too many
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Tues-Wednesday Jan 11-12, 2005 Mike
Malloy - 10 EST Weeknights on AAR
"First Bush and Gonzales came for the terrorists,
but I was not a terrorist, so I did not speak out.
Then they came for the enemy combatants, but
I was not a combatant, so I did not object.
Then they came for the protestors resisting "free
speech zones" near Bush campaign rallies,
but I was not a protestor and so I only voiced
my unease. If we - and our elected representatives
- do not speak out now, loudly and forcefully,
it may not be long before they come for the rest of us."
--Thom Hartmann, "First They Came
For The Terrorists", Attribution
people in Guantanamo Be Freed
darkies to remain shackled and tortured
Four remaining Britons and an Australian being
held at Guantanamo Bay will be released soon,
amid reports the number of prisoners at the U.S.
military base would be radically reduced.
Foreign Secretary Jack Straw was making a statement
on the four to parliament later Tuesday.
One of two Australian terror suspects would
also be returned home soon, the Australian
government said Tuesday, adding he would not be
There was no immediate comment from U.S. authorities.
The United States holds about
550 non-U.S. citizens at Guantanamo. Only four
have been charged. .
I guess they've been tortured until they're sure they know nothing.
Or, maybe they've been tortured to the point where they can't speak or
Four Staffers for 'Memogate'
Four CBS News staffers were fired Monday
following the release of an independent investigation
that said a "myopic zeal" led to the airing of
a true but discredited story about Bush's wartime desertion.
The panel's 224-page report detailed dozens
of missteps, including the reliance on TRUE documents
that were allegedly forged to a circle-the-wagons
mentality that compounded the damage.
Dan Rather was faulted for "errors of credulity
and overenthusiasm," but was not disciplined by
CBS boss Leslie Moonves as a going away gesture
for the once-respected newsman.
should go higher up, critics say
It was quiet along 60 Minutes row Monday as
usually outspoken veterans such as Mike
Wallace and others kept mum on a day when four
CBS News colleagues lost their jobs.
"The people on the front lines got fired while the
people most instrumental in getting the broadcast
on escaped," Andy Rooney said. "It's
a sad day" is all Wallace would say of the fallout from the
60 Minutes "Memogate" story that questioned Bush's
service in the Texas Air National Guard.
For giving Bush eternal immunity from
the felonies of his past - they should all be fired out of
the industry and black-listed everywhere.
Subject: Uncle Tom
I agree with the usage of "Uncle Tom" in regards
to "brothers" like Armstrong Williams.
However, I must make a correction to those who
would use it in the future.
Specifically in the book "Uncle Tom's Cabin" by
Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom was
the hero-he helped Liza and was killed by Sambo
(the henchman of Simon Legree, the sadistic
white master) by being whipped to death.
So I wouldn't "honor" Williams by calling him
an "Uncle Tom" rather, I'd call him "Sambo".
Most Americans wouldn't know that because they
don't know much about American literature;
however it was a very controversial book in it's
time (pre Civil War).
Upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, President
Lincoln was reputed to have commented:
"So this is the little lady whose book started the war".
Just thought you'd like to know.
"I know it's hard, but it's hard for a reason," Mr.
Bush said on Friday, a day after seven G.I.'s and two marines died.
"And the reason it's hard is because there are a
handful of folks who fear freedom." If it's just a handful, how come it's
Then the president added:
"And I look at the elections as a - as a - you
know, as a - as - as a historical marker for our Iraq policy."
Well, that's clear.
Mr. Bush is huddled in his bubble, but he's
in a pickle.
The administration that had no plan for what to
do with Iraq when it got it, now has no plan for getting out.
The mood in Washington about our misadventure
seemed to grow darker last week, maybe because lawmakers
were back after visiting with their increasingly
worried constituents and - even more alarming - visiting Iraq, where you
still can't drive from the Baghdad airport to the
Green Zone without fearing for your life.
"It's going to be ugly," Joe Biden told Charlie Rose
about the election.
we'll remain silent - speaking up is impolite."
Subject: G. Gordon Liddy
I know he's an asshole, but when his radio show
was on in up here in Seattle, I kind of liked him.
He was *always* nice to his callers, and I admit
that might've biased me, since he replaced
Larry King, who was a total bastard to his callers. Dr.
Laura is a f-ing bitch, however.
Larson, waaaaaay back in Volume
14, I did this:
Differences Between Rush and G. Gordon Liddy
10. Liddy speaks 5 languages. - Rush grunts when he sees
9. Liddy is a pilot, an attorney and White House lawyer.
- Rush is a (written in my blue period)
8. Liddy takes calls and faxes from Democrats. - Rush has
a "sheep only" policy.
7. Liddy never tried suicide-by-food.
6. Liddy hasn't had 2 (Update
- 3) wives reject him.
5. Liddy has a black belt in martial arts. - Rush
slurs innocent people to death.
4. Liddy didn't have a giant cyst on his ass that kept him
from fighting in a war he felt was "very just."
3. Liddy regularly has a liberal on, Lanny Davis. - Rush
is afraid to debate.
2. Liddy apologized to Secretary Donna Shalala for his "best & brightest" screwup.
The Lying Whore said "That's
And the number one, biggest difference
between the Lying, Nazi Whore and Liddy is......
1. The Lyin' King would NEVER get in a fair fight.
"This whole premise of objectivity I think is a
--Rush the vulgar Pigboy, explaining
how Bush can be a "good and decent leader" after
innocents in Iraq, while Clinton is a "vile and evil man" for semi-having an
Gordon in Keene,
You have a box of BCR CDs in 128bps hi-fi-stereo coming your way.
Subject: Democrats and the
When I was a kid I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters
play the hapless Washington Generals.
You always knew that's who the Globetrotters would
play. You always knew the Generals would take an
ass-whooping while the Globetrotters made them
look silly. You paid because it was harmless entertainment.
The Democratic party is now worse than the Washington
Generals. You know who their opponent is,
you know they're going to lose, and you know they're
going to look silly. The problem is - this isn't entertainment;
it's the future of the country. All contributions
to this petty excuse of a political party must cease, the end result being
its demise or a serious reorganization.
What's it going to take for these losers to
fight the good fight instead of letting Meadowlark Rove make fools of them
For God's sake, Drive to the Basket!!!!
Santa Cruz, CA
I've always said Alam Colmes was the Generals
to Hannity's Whoretrotters.
Thing is, the Colmes disease is spreading throughout
the Democratic Party.
Like that Star Trek episode, This Side
of Paradise, where Spock got high with Charles Bronson's wife,
Colmes is leading us to snif the spores!
The Dems are all willing to obey.
of Guatemala's 'Death Squads'
Robert Parry at consortiumnews.com
The original Guatemalan death squads took shape
in the mid-1960s under anti-terrorist training provided
by a U.S. public safety adviser named John Longon,
according to the documents. In January 1966, Longon
reported to his superiors about both overt and
covert components of his anti-terrorist strategies.
On the covert side, Longon pressed for "a
safe house [to] be immediately set up" for coordination of security
intelligence. "A room was immediately prepared
in the [Presidential] Palace for this purpose and
Guatemalans were immediately designated to put
this operation into effect," according to Longon's report.
Longon's operation within the presidential compound
became the starting point for the infamous "Archivos"
intelligence unit that evolved into a clearinghouse
for Guatemala's most notorious political assassinations.
Note: consortiumnews.com is the most important site on
Subject: let's be real
I think the best e-mail to send to the DNC
is something like this:
"I have $500 in my checking account and it's going
to stay there
until you start showing some backbone."
Simple and to the point.
Kevin, sounds good to me.
If they want our money they should work for it.
This isn't Wal-Mart quality.
It wasn't made in Taiwan.
"Donald Trump is introducing a line of hair care
That's like George Bush publishing a dictionary."
Subject: Smoke dope, go psychotic
Bart, using hemp byproducts is one thing.
Smoking dope is quite another.
smoking cannabis can make you psychotic
You gotta read this one.
We've got the right books by the right authors.
Subject: Bart, we losing $2
billion a day to China - why?
Red Ed - it's a BFEE conspiracy. Check this
from Vol 767 - Toddling Around
W's Uncle Prescott founded an organization called
United States of America-China Chamber of Commerce.
It has nothing to do with our local chambers of
He is the "chairman" and has a Chinese man as a
It's difficult to find out exactly what Prescott
might be up to besides looting the Chinese
through the illusion of promoting trade. I did
find on research that one program "bundles"
applications of those who want to travel between
China-U.S. and facilitates the applications
through our State Department. (Does
that sound like an easy way for Poppy's spooks to
move back and forth?) Here's
a photo of Poppy, Prescott, and their stooge:
Prescott is also the financial adviser to some
Bush tentacles in China flow everywhere.
George's cousin Elsie Walker is an entrepreneur
and George's brother Neil has operated in land
And LORD KNOWS what Poppy's Carlyle Group is
Those curious about Bush-China should start
Our press corps sure isn't going to do the research.
It reminds me of that unproven theory that 9-11 was a "Pearl Harbor" that
would draw us into
the "war on terrorism" to ultimately stop China from joining with the
Taliban to nuke Israel.
Of course, China's not going to move without Poppy's permission, right?
Hell, for all we know, Poppy got the top job at the CIA for all the "good
work" he did as
Ambassador to China - which is another incredibly incestuous relationship
that has brought
billions into the Bush Family Evil Empire.
The BFEE has plans for taxpayer money and China.
Why do you think he begged like a prison bitch when China shot down our
...and we're getting
away with it!
of Politics Past
I miss Paul Wellstone. It is not that the senator
from Minnesota was liberal, although he was, or smart,
although he was that, too. It was that when he
said he was going to do something, he did it, and because
he believed it was the right thing, not because
he'd been bought and paid for by lobbyists and pressure groups.
His last major legislative act was to vote against
the resolution authorizing the war in Iraq. (Is
that why he's dead?)
He was the sole Democrat in the Senate facing
a significant election challenge to do so, but he told a reporter,
"I'm not 38, I'm 58. And at this point in my life, I'm
not making any decision that I don't believe in." A month later,
Senator Wellstone was dead in the crash of a chartered
campaign plane. I like to think that at least he passed over
carrying a clear conscience. And while I don't
believe in ghosts, I hope the memory of Paul Wellstone will haunt the
Democrats as they go about the very public business
of finding themselves in the wake of their November defeat."
"Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids
six to eight times a year. Is that torture?"
-- Guy Womack, Sergeant Charles Graner's lawyer,
arguing to the jury that
piling naked prisoners
in pyramids was a valid form of prisoner control, Attribution
Mr Womack, statistically, you've probably given someone oral sex before.
Can we strip you, put a gun
to your head and force you to perform oral sex on your client in front
of every person in this courtroom?
You've done it before...
In 2003, I took money to lie to African Americans about the quality
of education their children
would receive as a result of Bush raising their
taxes. I did this because I'm a whore and a whore
can't get enough money. I used my column to help
cover up the fact that No Child Left Behind
is a handjob Bush put on every parent. He talks about
education, be he refuses to fund it.
The problem? I am a whore and a whore
cannot serve two pimps.
People have used this conflict of interests
to portray me as "another Clarence Thomas,"
something that no black man should ever have to
endure. But when I got a whif of that
million dollars from my Massa George I couldn't
resist - and for that I'm sorry I got caught.
I should never be trusted again because I say
once a whore, always a whore.
People need to know that my column is corrupted
by the most evil bastards on earth,
sons of bitches who would kill 1355 soldiers not to
get not rich, but to get rich-er.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize
for being such a nasty-ass whore.
It's in me - what else can I say? ...and
don't think I'm the only one. Anyone who
promotes this walking disaster and his drunk-ass
policies is either crazy or on-the-take.
Take FOX News - do you really think they... (shots
"I told you
to Keep your mouth shut about the others, Darkie..."
Subject: BCR Show 64 feedback
Ah, the New Year is starting good. I've
been blessed with a job, a glimmer of hope
(although fleeting, maybe) from Barbara Boxer,
and a great Bartcop Radio show.
I have to give you credit for courage, leaving
the Oklahoma prediction in the show even
after the thrashing they took. When you said
Peterson rushing for 200, I nearly shit myself laughing.
I feel for you, though; the Sooners are good, but
they played an NFL team.
I think it's cowardly to change stuff on the
page or the radio show.
Take a shot at my team, Green Bay.
They played like they didn't care, so why should
I think Brett has his mind on his family troubles.
To me, the most important point you made was
during the rant about the letter you received
questioning your liberalism when you said absolutes
are too wide a brushstroke. This is an open door
to hypocrisy. Just look at all the moral
right wingers caught in casinos or with their pants down.
"The George Bush Turnpike?"
Does it go in an endless right turn?
Tom, thanks for that.
Out of the dozens who heard that show, so far, yours was the only
e-mail I've seen.
Subject: Tom Armstong
I'm an African American, and "Uncle Tom" is
too dignified a term for Williams.
I have a hypothetical for you Republicans, and if you cheat I
will claim victory.
What If? a
school district, or Catholic parish, or a county or a state
(you decide - I'm flexible, and what is bartcop.com if
did a three year study on teen sexual practices and teenage pregnancy.
What If? this
biosphere (school, city, county, whatever) distributed condoms far and wide.
Condoms are everywhere - free and available - no questions asked.
What If? after
three years, the overall teen pregnancy rate in that biosphere went down significantly,
and by that, I'm talking about 20 percent or so - isn't 20 percent significant?
OK, here's the question- after the condoms were introduced,
the pregnancy rate went down by 20%.
Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?
Would you, as a conservative, vote to continue the 20 % reduction
in teen pregnancy?
Would you, as a conservative, vote for fewer teen pregnancies?
Or would you, as a conservative, vote
your preacher instead of your logic and condemn
hundreds or thousands of teenage girls to an unwanted pregnancy?
Or would your religion trump logic and force you to insist that
the kids go bareback when they have sex?
I'm just asking...
Subject: Rolling over on Gonzales
is the worst yet
I just don't get it, Bart. If ever there was
a time to fight it was over the nomination of Torture guy.
Even if they lost, at least it would have sent
a message that not all Americans approve of torture.
I would like to think that Bush is being allowed
to have his team so that they can all be
brought down together; give a fool enough
rope and all that.
But that would be a fool's folly, on my part.
I am beginning to think that the Democrats,
with certain notable exceptions, are as corrupt
as the Rethugs, and I hate that!
good little Bush soldiers, following our orders..."
by Bob Hebert
The assembly line of carnage in George W. Bush's
war in Iraq continues unabated.
Nightmares don't last this long, so the death and
destruction must be real.
You know you're in serious trouble when the
politicians and the military brass don't even bother
suggesting that there's light at the end of the
tunnel. The only thing ahead is a deep and murderous
darkness. With the insurgency becoming both stronger
and bolder, and the chances of conducting
a legitimate election growing grimmer by the day,
a genuine sense of alarm can actually be detected
in the reality-resistant hierarchy of the Bush
"Nightmares don't last this long, so the death and
destruction must be real."
Wow - what a great line.
He's right, though, isn't he?
The GOP wants you to think Iraq is a bad movie
you shouldn't see, like Fahenheit 9-11.
Just ignore the thousands that are going to die,
and enjoy that $33 tax cut you got while Bush
murders and rapes his way through the United States
Treasury and your family and friends.
Subject: Jimmy Page is God?
Eric Clapton was given that name in the sixties
he isn't the innovator he was in hte sixties, but
you can't steal his name.
Mike in Knuckle draggin' mouth breathin' Montana.
Mike, I've never heard any Clapton that impressed me.
The guitar teachers like him, because he's clean, safe and tame
but that's not what I look for in a rock guitar player.
I want excitement - that's gotta be Number One.
I guess Clapton's excitement peak came with Derek & The Dominoes.*
...or was that Duane playing all the exciting parts?
BTW, Cream is reuniting for some London gigs.
Will Clapton play like an older, seasoned veteran?
Or will he show some of that fire that's been lost for almost 40 years?
Subject: Page is God?
I thought all you old rocker folks said Hendrix
was your god?
I'll answer this on the radio show. (30 day subscription for T
That way, I can play some audio snippets as examples.
Don't worry, I'll put it last in a segment so you purists won't have
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Subject: Let's give the tutu
to Hillary (my senator)
Where is Hillary on the important stuff when
it takes a little courage and integrity:
- voted to give Bush the authority to invade Iraq
- will vote to confirm Gonzalez
- took no stand on challenging the voting irregularities
which particularly impacted on African-Americans
She's Joe Liebermann lite.
Who needs her?
I've gotten a lot of mail like this.
Apparently, few buy my rationale that Hillary is unique in the senate.
I think the will be crucified worse than Bill ever was if she takes
even a mini-wrong step,
so asking her to lead the charge before the right time is, in my
opinion, certain suicide.
...and calling her Lieberman lite?
You must really dislike her.
soldier body count in Iraq
1341, 1342, 1352,
1357, dead heroes under Bush
Are you OK with that, America?
When will the military families ask, "Why?"
"In the last 30 years, you had this politically
correct delegitimizing of God in American
public life, which I think is a denial of the
core of American civilization."
--Newt Gingrich, who traded in his wife for a 33 year old
staffer he was screwing. Atttribution
I'm going to do BCR
Show 65 tomorrow, so the next page will
Tonight, FOX takes off its best show, House, for some
reality bullshit that nobody's watching.
ABC's promos say they're killing the cute blond cop tonight on NYPD
The series ends on March - they could kill everyone in the next
Wednesday, the Lost and Alias block makes Mrs
Bart very happy - she'll be nice to me all evening.
On West Wing, we learn what skeletons are in Jimmy Smit's
"That's between me and my wife!" he bellows
in the previews.
One of the best World Poker Tour tourneys - the 2004 Championship
- is tonight
If you want to know why America is going poker crazy, watch this show and
Cain's Ballroom "Haunted & Mysterious
Rt. 66" Saturday, Jan 15th, 8pm Central Time Travel
Channel - "Weird Travels"
Brady Theater "Phantoms
of the Opera" Saturday, Jan. 22nd, 2005 - 8pm Central
Time Travel Channel - "Weird Travels"
You have two minutes to record your message.
"This is a criminal war and any act of violence in
an unjustified conflict is an atrocity.
I signed a contract for four years, and I was
totally willing to fulfil it. Just not in combat arms jobs."
--Jeremy Hinzman, 26, who deserted and has
applied for refugee status in Canada, Attribution
Subject: Incredibly irresponsible
I don't normally watch 24--or many other programs,
for that matter--but you're always going on
about how wonderful the show is, I tuned in for
the big premiere.
And about lost my goddammed mind.
Because here's Fox, kissin' cousin to the Faux
News Channel, featuring the protagonist of a popular
show shooting a suspect to get the intel. And of
course, he fesses right up with legitimate info.
Of course, the by-the-book guys have treated this
Arab with human dignity for five minutes too long,
so the SecDef gets kidnapped anyway. So here's
Fox's message: In the War on Terror, it is always better
to just shoot the bastards immediately upon capture,
because they will invariably give us reliable information
we can successfully act on.
I know, I know--it's a fantastical TV show. I'm
sure that Fox would never stoop to using popular media
to subversively promote a right-wing nutjob agenda.
Christ, I am pissed,
Ryan, since we talked about this in the last BCR show, I'll answer you
Free month of membership for Ryan.
If YOU ask a question that gets printed that is better answered on the
get a free month of membership so you can hear the reply.
Subject: why would Saddam
hide with an empty pistol?
Because he ran out of bullets.
That or the Bush Empire made a deal with UFOs
to capture Saddam and cause a tsunami.
Oh yeah, the Bilderbergs were in there somewhere....
You lefties are hilarious
Greg, you may have a point.
I remember several US troops being wounded by Saddam during his capture.
He was hiding in a room slightly larger than a refrigerator.
Are you saying he could fire shots in that spider hole and MISS?
No, what's more likely is he was caotured, disarmed, then put back in
so Bush's team could pretend they finally captured one old man on the run.
Use your head.
hurt again - typing
with four holes in my right hand.
We tried a new Mexican/Tequila restaurant last
night - En
They bragged about having 90 tequilas, and they must be held accountable.
Since I was driving, I only had one shot - Don Eduardo Anejo. It
was mas fina.
Mrs. Bart got her favorite - not often that happens - a Corralejo
The food was kinda uppity - no beef enchiladas, but plenty of halibut
and tuna and shrimp.
I got the "Bob Marley," (I didn't know he was Mexican!) which was queso
It was an appetizer because the "real" food was too fancy for me. I
felt like I was
ordering from the children's menu. Mrs. Bart got the Fried Chicken
were pretty good - she let me have one.
The trouble came when the eager-beaver waitress asked Mrs. Bart if she
a second Corralejo Reposado margarita. Mrs. Bart said no,
and in the blink of an eye,
the waitress grabbed the margarita she was still sipping on and
turned to walk away.
Note: When we eat out, we only have
My rule is I don't want some monkey sweeping next
to my table.
Even in fine restaurants, they think this is acceptable
and it f-ing kills me.
If I'm in the wrong mood, I'll say, "Hey Sparky
- do that somewhere else."
How can anybody think it's OK to sweep next
to you while you're eating?
For Mrs. Bart, you do not grab anything away
from her without prior, written consent.
When little Miss Eager Beaver grabbed her drink, I knew trouble was
up, so I timed it
just perfectly. Mrs Bart lunged out with her fork, aiming for EB's
hand carrying the drink.
I managed to beat the fork to its destination and took the stabbing myself,
saving a lawsuit.
It hurt like hell, so I grabbed the lime that had fallen during the marg-napping
and bit into it.
I'll do some radio Wednesday - by Thursday I should be back typing at
I'll bet anything that the poker that will become legal in Oklahoma
Saturday will blow donkey.
If they put a limit of $2, $4 or $8 on the betting, nobody can ever go "all
in" because everyone
at the table can afford to lose $8 or they wouldn't be there.
That means there's no bluffing - and you can't play Texas Hold 'em without
But - somehow - if Oklahoma
manages to not screw this up (should I even finish this sentence?)
we could hold a Pokerfest right here in Kniuckldrag and party at En
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Manson of Garbage
Shrl, call The BartPhone,
just to say "Hi!"
Plus, leave an e-mail address and I'll make you a BartCop Member
- for free!
You can call the Bart-Phone at 918-748-1714
That would be really cool, and we'll catch you in Vegas at The Joint on
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