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by Frank Rich of the NYW Times
Is George W. Bush a puppet reading a script, and if so is the ventriloquist Dick Cheney,
Karl Rove or Karen Hughes? Or is the new president a reincarnation of Ronald Reagan,
a charming leader whose use of cue cards, reliance on aides and short workday belie his
strength of character, conviction and perhaps even intellect?
The answers are not at all hard to figure
Mr. Bush is obviously reading a script — just look what happens when he tries to improvise.
The first time I visited the New York Times site, I tried to sign up, but "bartcop" was already taken.
I can never remember how I signed up, so I tried signing up as "nywhoretimes" but it was taken, too.
They deserve every bit of that.
I'm so old, I remember when the NYW Times was respected.
From: Margaret Shemo
Subject: Aaron Sorkin's Arrest
"West Wing mastermind"?
Don't overestimate Aaron Sorkin's intelligence.
How hard could it be to get arrested?
Even the Pekinese lapdog managed the hat trick.
The mushrooms might explain why Sorkin preferred
"President Bartlet" to President Clinton.
You'd have to be hallucinating to imagine that a liberal, crusading reformer -- a blue-blood!
an intellectual from New England! -- would stand a chance of being elected president.
American voters hadn't chosen anyone even remotely like Jed Bartlett during Sorkin's lifetime, until last year.
But it seems to have escaped Sorkin's notice that
the loser of that election was sworn in, instead.
No doubt Sorkin is still trying to get over his disappointment with Bill Clinton -- maybe he can handle
only one crisis at a time. I hope his arrest won't prove too distracting.
This is from an article, "Inside The West Wing's New World," in the November 2000 George Magazine:
"Indeed, one West Wing staffer-speaking on condition
"Aaron Sorkin really doesn't like Clinton. He's very convincing on this subject."
The question is put to Sorkin: Does he despise Clinton? Sorkin laughs, then squirms in silence.
Finally, he protests weakly: "I like Bill
Clinton. I voted for Bill Clinton twice.
It would be silly for me to say anything more than that.""
Here to read the George Magazine article
Margaret, you could say Sorkin is misguided, but stupid?
Could a stupid person write that snappy dialog?
Boy, if Sorkin is a Clinton-hater, I'd sure like to debate him.
That'd be fun - debating someone who knew how to assemble sentences as well as he does.
One thing, I don't get the Pekinese lapdog reference.
Could you shed some light on that?
Good to hear from you.
You should write more stuff more often.
A short but fun anti-Smirk page
Bill Gates no longer world's richest geek
Bill Gates has been ousted as the world's richest man by Sam
chairman of Wal-Mart and eldest son of its founder.
Gates lost that title to Walton after the worldwide plunge in
the value of high-technology stocks
when Americans realized their president was chosen by a crooked judge, not the vote of the people.
Poor Billy Gates is down to his last $54 billion, while Walton is now worth $65.4 billion.
...and speaking of de-throning the champ,
We have a new heavyweight champion of the world - Hasim Rahman.
Hasim Rahman connects with a left to the head of then champion Lennox Lewis during
their title fight in South Africa last night. Rahman, 28, took the WBC, IBF and IBO belts
off the 35-year-old British champion in the fifth round when he knocked Lewis out.
antagonizes America's allies
Aggravated Allies Waiting for U.S. to Change Its Tunes
Contradictions, Reversals Have Irked Europeans and Asians
"The Bush administration has not been warmly received by European allies.
There is a pretty strong sense of disquiet so far," said Robert Kagan,
a former senior State Department official living in Brussels.
Her last two columns have been so incredibly bland and boring
they weren't even ridiculable 8 (homage to W&S)
Maureen, can't you make up some more lies about the "thieving"
Or what about fabricating another Hillary "bridal registry" croc of shit?
Anything is better than "too bland and boring" to ridicule.
Check out Wolf's great work at http://hometown.aol.com/wgrulkey/Eddycartoonpage1.html
The Bob and Britney Challenge
Let's Beat up Jane Fonda
This is a wildly flammable story on Jane Jonda.
It's an e-mail that's spreading like a Clinton Body Count lie.
As a friend of our fighting boys, I think they have a right to believe whatever they want about Jane Fonda,
but let's not lose our heads over false information spread by pro-Smirk nutcases.
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous
than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Since taking office, the President has
treated the big polluters to an all-you-can-eat smorgasbord of
environmental giveaways. When it comes to the public's health and the environment, President Bush
and the Republicans are willing to let the big polluters have their way.''
-- David Bonior, showing a half-ounce of fight
Does Dennis Miller read bartcop.com?
I'm going to tell you three shocking things I saw on on Dennis Miller Friday night.
1. He did not call Bill Clinton "a worthless fuck" last night.
Not even once, I swear to Koresh.
2. He did some jokes about President Weak & Stupid, and I'm
not making this up.
Sure, they were extra-tame, and totally comic in nature, not politically stinging in the least.
This is the big one - brace yourselves
- are you ready?
Are you sure you're ready?
3. After he did his extra-tame anti-Smirk jokes, he did not
Repeat - he did not apologize to Bush for doing some extra-tame jokes about him last night.
I couldn't believe it either.
If you don't believe me, I have it on tape.
Montenegro Goes to Polls on Independence Issue
Yugoslavia - Montenegrans voted Sunday in an election
dominated by the question of whether
the small republic should seek independence from Belgrade, scrapping the Yugoslav federation.
Polls forecast a victory of between seven and
18 percentage points for the pro-independence
ruling coalition led by President Milo Djukanovic over a leftist opposition bloc dedicated to
preserving links with Yugoslavia's much bigger republic of Serbia.
Well, how about that?
A country where the guy who got the most votes wins?
I wish I lived in a country like that.
That'd be cool to live in a country where your votes actually meant something.
It was about 4:30 on saturday when I noticed I only had a half-inch
of God's sunshine.
Yes, the Miracle of Canaan hand-blown was in its December.
I shot off to the local spirits store.
The spirits store just got in a new batch of Chinaco Anejo.
I purchased a bottle, $38 and change, along with a couple of Beringers for the boss.
When I got home, I got out two shotglasses.
One really, really nice one, with gold-plated rim from the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas,
and a lesser, gold-free shotglass from Grand Teton National Park.
In the Teton glass, I put the last ounce of my trusty Chinaco
In the gold-plated Monte Carlo glass, was the new batch of Chinaco Anejo.
I had to taste-test them, side-by-side.
I had this one final shot of batch L-4344258825939.
This was premium, luxury Chinaco Anejo.
I've been sipping on this fountain of youth for 20 days.
It was excellent.
It tasted like God was happy.
So after I poured the last of it in the lesser shotglass,
I cut open the new bottle of Chinaco Anejo batch L-434445AA29999
I'm in the car business.
These batch numbers are like VIN numbers. (vehicle identification numbers)
When the VIN to your car is 1FG56D78HU33NB936521, that's all code for a black
Ford Taurus V-8 coupe with a spoiler and a fukthecops badboy package under the hood.
These Chinaco numbers mean something.
The first bottle's tracking number didn't even have letters.
Today's bottle has an AA in the middle.
That means something.
I then prepared to side-by-side taste test these two luxury liquids.
The first sip was of the old stuff, to get a baseline.
The second sip was the new batch - virgin territory.
First thing, I knew the second sip was better, but I didn't know
I don't know how to write descriptions of the sensations hitting my tastebuds.
I just knew this new batch was something different and better.
By the time I'd finished both shots, (and almost 90 minutes had gone by) it hit me:
Wildflowers in the tequila.
Wildflowers in the Chinaco Anejo.
It tasted the same way wildflowers smell.
Chinaco Anejo tastes like kissing Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Hell, I've never tasted wildflowers.
I don't walk in the park and pick stuff up and eat it.
But this tasted like the way wildflowers smell.
It was f-ing beautiful, is what it was.
You know, I've been on this pure luxury tequila jag for almost
two years, and I've always
talked about the wildflowers they said were in Chinaco Anejo, but I never could taste them.
This new batch has a wildflowers tint to it, and it's the best tasting tequila I've ever had.
Oh, it tastes really good.
Koresh as my witness.
As I was telling Christian the other day - I'm old.
I've lived a lot of years and tried a lot of things,
and then something new like Chinaco Anejo comes along, and shakes up my comfortable world.
I told her, there's no steak in the world that makes you say,
"Damn," on the eighth bite.
There's no seafood or Emerill meal or pasta that makes you say, "Damn!" on your tenth bite,
but Chinaco Anejo after two years and dozens of shots, makes me speak out loud.
This new batch has a wildflowers tinge, and I can't stand how good it is.
A shot of Chinaco Anejo to the guys that distill, fabricate, invent and concoct this miracle.
This new Chinaco Anejo is a little different but it's also better.
Remember when I said on that last trip to meet Scary Perry, that
had the sweetest-tasting Chinaco I'd ever had?
Well, I've had fruitier, and with Scary I've had sweeter, but now I've had wildflowers.
Damn, this is nice.
It's Chinaco Anejo Plus
It's really nice.
Bush humiliated the country in China crisis
April 22, 2001 1:40 am
I read with great interest your laughable editorial
stating that Bush demonstrated deft diplomatic skills
in resolving the hostage crisis with the communist Chinese ["Peking crow," April 12].
If squinting and smirking while reading comments written on cards by Karl Rove can be called "skills,"
I guess our standards have been lowered, even for a weak and foolish president.
Let's just review: After stating he would never
apologize, Mr. Bush had the secretary of state back down
and express regret at the loss of life. A few days later, we said we were sorry for the loss of life.
Then we were forced to put on a pink tutu and say we were very, very sorry for the loss of the
Chinese pilot, for entering Chinese airspace and landing at the Chinese airfield.
That must be the new meaning of the term "deft diplomacy."
If this national humiliation had occurred under
President Bill Clinton, he would have been excoriated
in the press because he never served in the military or because of his moral failings. But somehow when
Mr. Bush caves in, he is seen as a "statesman" with no mention of his moral failings which include public
drunkenness, at least three arrests, and lying under oath in a civil deposition--plus the fact that he was
AWOL for nearly two years during wartime.
This hypocrisy makes me wonder how President Bill
Clinton would have handled the same situation.
My guess is he would have used his considerable personal charm, political acumen, and great negotiating
skills to first unify the community of nations to support us, then actively engage the Chinese.
Why didn't Mr. Bush do the same thing? Because he does not have the ability.
He has angered most of our allies, so they are
not going to help. (Quick, name one ally who publicly
took our side during the crisis.) He cannot conceptualize or think on his feet and for God's sake,
he couldn't possibly have engaged the Chinese in negotiations.
So instead, we were forced to endure this water
torture while our service people were held hostage
and our $80 million plane was stripped to the airframe of intelligence-gathering equipment.
But, on second thought, Mr. Bush looks pretty good in a pink tutu.
Subject: Photo Opt!
First off, GREAT SITE!
Now to the tricky part: there was a picture a
while back showing the mail-in protesters
ol' Weak and Stupid's people sent down to protest the hand count in Florida, the picture was of
the group outside the office door where the count was being conducted and the protesters were
numbered with names associated with the numbers identifying each as a Republican operative.
I really, really need a copy of that photo along
with the names for a well organized protest of my own.
If you can help it would be much appreciated, even a link to where I might find the photo would help
but it must have the numbers and names.
Don, no problemo.
That was from Volume 351 - Never Steal Anything Small
Who was that angry mob that shut down the recount in Miami?
1. Tom Pyle, policy analyst, office of House Majority Whip Tom
2. Garry Malphrus, majority chief counsel and staff director, House Judiciary subcommittee on criminal justice.
3. Rory Cooper, political division staff member at the National Republican Congressional Committee.
4. Kevin Smith, former House Republican conference analyst and more recently of Voter.com.
5. Steven Brophy, former aide to Sen. Fred D. Thompson (R-Tenn.), now working at the consulting firm KPMG.
6. Matt Schlapp, former chief of staff for Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-Kan.), now on the Bush campaign staff in Austin.
7. Roger Morse, aide to Rep. Van Hilleary (R-Tenn.).
8. Duane Gibson, aide to Chairman Don Young (R-Alaska) of the House Resources Committee.
9. Chuck Royal, legislative assistant to Rep. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.).
10. Layna McConkey, former legislative assistant to former Rep. Jim Ross Lightfoot (R-Iowa),
now at Steelman Health Strategies.
...and these sons of bitches want to lecture us on the rule of law?
And where were the whore networks?
Why didn't they do their job and identify the criminals?
The Fascist GOP made this out to be some kind of citizen's rebellion,
when all the time it was goons from the Rent-a-Nazi corporation.
And where was the whore press?
Bending over for Smirk, just like they've done for almost two years.
Movie Review by Roger Ebert
This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel.
This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel.
This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel.
This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
The day may come when "Freddy Got Fingered" is
seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism.
The day may never come when it is seen as funny.
The film is a vomitorium consisting of 93 minutes
of Tom Green doing things that a geek in a
carnival sideshow would turn down. Six minutes into the film, his character wags a horse penis.
This is, we discover, a framing device--to be matched by a scene late in the film where he
sprays his father with elephant semen, straight from the source.
One other thing - the review of this movie in USA Today says,
Why does Green say nearly every line in the movie twice?
Because if he didn't, the movie would be barely 45 minutes long.
As the film wraps up, Green shows a Kreskin-class ability to connect
with the thoughts of the viewers who haven't already escaped.
In a crowd scene, someone carries a sign that reads,
"When the (expletive) is this movie going to end?"
This dog of a movie will make Green rich and he'll have a whole string
of these movies that'll make Jim Carrey seem like the butler in Arthur.
One more try on that anti-Smirk club link.
This one works, trust me.
"No, Dumbass, that straw is not 'defective.'
You have to put one end of the straw in the shake or you won't get any."
Here's a URL for the official White House photographer, Robert McNeely.
Lots of historic Clinton pictures here.
Spade Attacker Gets Probation
A former assistant to actor David Spade pleaded
guilty on Thursday to attacking him
with a stun gun and was ordered to serve five years probation and stay away from Spade.
Skippy Malloy, Spade's 30-year-old friend and
longtime personal assistant, was ordered
to undergo counseling and perform 480 hours of community service.
Spade said Malloy was "obviously mentally troubled''
and said he hoped Malloy would get help.
Yeah, nothing like probation and community service to straighten a guy out.
I was surfing a live Zeppelin tape trader's page, when I read,
"I will not be trading again until December,
due to a forced 18 month government sponsored vacation."
Then there was this link
I think everyone should visit NORML (and contribute)
Y'know, if the Republicans believed any of that crap about "individual
they would support NORML as a matter of conscience.
Truth is, they're lying like the theives they are when they say
they applaud individual freedom.
Oh, sure, they looooooooove the Cancer lobby, because nicotine only kills 400,000 a year,
whereas, to my knowledge, nobody is history has ever died from smoking pot.
But the religio-wackos and the no-fun-allowed Republicans won't
hear of common sense
when it comes to somebody smoking a weed inside their own home on their own land.
It's just like the "less government" liars to beg for bigger government when it comes to pot.
They don't want smaller government.
They don't want lower taxes.
They want to control our lives with their tsunami of illogic and superstition..
From: Tamara Baker
Subject: How to retaliate for the Reagan Name-Changing Spree
In memory of Joey Ramone, whose greatest work
was a song entitled "Bonzo Goes to Bitburg",
I suggest that we all get nice black laundry markers and whereever we see something named
for the Old Senile Mass Murderer, we RENAME it, on the spot, for Joey Ramone.
The "Ronald Reagan National Airport" would become
the Joey Ramone National Airport.
The "Ronald Reagan Library" would become the Joey Ramone Library.
The "Ronald Reagan Highway" would become the Joey Ramone Highway.
You know what to do.
Armey, Barr and DeLay to Investigate
by John Hardin
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.