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 May 02, 2001...................Sweep Weeks..............Help Wanted...............Did you hear it? 
 VCR Alert - Pigboy on Larry King Thursday

 Somebody must have purchased NBC, because they have more new episodes on tonight.
 After a disasterous episode two weeks ago, West Wing bounced back last week with a great one.
 At least the fictional Democrats are willing to fight!
 Sidebar:
 The Sopranos is on a great roll, too. That right Tony smacked lap-danceboy with was
 one of the best TV punches I've ever seen. Jackie Jr seems to not want to go on living.
 It's great to have the two best shows on TV firing on all cylinders at the same time.
 Besides West Wing, we have (gasp) a new Angie Harmon Show tonight.
 Watch 'em while you can, because she's almost gone.
 We have a new Voyager, about which I'm probably the only one who cares.
 Voyager has been lost in space, billions of light years from Earth, since the first episode.
 Their final show is in a couple of weeks. If BartCop was exec prod, instead of Rick Berman,
 I'd have Voyager pull into San Francisco in the last episode and everybody would get laid.
 Seven years is a long time, on your old ship, there. 

Judge Postpones Jenna Bush Case

AUSTIN, Texas A judge, probably appointed by Smirky, agreed to postpone the case
of 19-year-old party tart Jenna, who is charged with alcohol possession by a minor.

Community Court Judge Elisabeth Earle said Jenna's attorney needed extra time because
he had knee surgery. She said she expected to reschedule the case in the next couple of days.
Neither Jenna nor her grandpa's hand-picked attorney appeared in court Wednesday.

Jenna was issued a misdemeanor citation early Friday by undercover cops checking for minors
in possession of alcohol at nightclubs along the popular East Sixth Street entertainment area.

Police said two Secret Service agents were outside the bar and did not know Jenna was drinking.
 

Didn't these guys see the West Wing where Bartlet explained to his daughter what
would happen if America's enemies were to snatch young Jenna and spirit her away?

What good is the Secret Service if they're not even in the same building as their charge?



Click  Here

ha ha


From: garinp@icehouse.net

Subject: p.s.

Folk like you are going to poison the well to the point where folk like me will give up even
hoping that the Democrats will grow a spine and offer a presidential ticket we could tolerate.

Instead, by refusing to admit there's a problem, you'll let the Dems. drift further to the right
(where the money is).   The DLC will get it's wet dream ticket  -  Joe Leiberman and Zell Miller.

When the electorate goes for the Rs they know instead of the Rs they don't and the dauphine
gets a second term you'll wonder why.  Maybe you'll be able to blame those of us who vote
for any real liberal available or stay home.

I NEVER HEARD HOWLS ABOUT THE SANCTITY OF THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM
WHEN THE LOON FROM TEXAS (remember Perot?) WAS HANDING TWO TERMS TO ELVIS
(who has left the building)!!
 

If anyone has a clue, write to me.



 http://www.100daysofbush.com/


Shannen Doherty pleads guilty to DWI

VENTURA, Calif. (AP) - Shannen Doherty, the Republican star of "Charmed," has pleaded no contest
to charges of acting like a Bush daughter. Doherty, 30, also has admitted to a "special circumstance"
of refusing to submit to a chemical test.  She is to be sentenced June 12.

The GOP firebrand, who threatened to have her fiance anally sodomized on her front lawn during
a drunken public argument was arrested in December after CHiPs saw her Ford pickup weaving.
Prosecutors said her blood-alcohol level was .13%, well above the legal limit of .08%.

As a first-time offender, Doherty will likely face 48 hours in jail or five days in a work-release program.
Because of the "special circumstance," Doherty will also be given some additional punishment,
possibly time in the judge's lap or a longer out-patient sentence, Morse said.

Doherty stars in The WB series "Charmed," about three sisters who are witches.


    Shannen entertained at GOP Nazi-Con 2000



An Open Letter to David Horowitz
  By Isaac Peterson

 Click  Here


 The first pitch he had seen in over four years he lined up the middle for a single.
 The second pitch he had seen in four years was sent over the wall in right for a three-run homer.
 His next at-bat, he bunted his way on base, stole a base, then scored.
 His fourth at-bat was a successful bunt that set up the game-winning run.

 Who else but Deion Sanders?

 Even if you hate him, you must admit...


How Green Is Their Valley
   by Maureen Dowd - She hates everybody.


Click on those chalky thighs


'West Wing' creator charged

BURBANK, Calif. (AP) - Aaron Sorkin, creator of the Emmy-winning drama "The West Wing," was
charged Monday with possession of illegal hallucinogenic mushrooms, rock cocaine and marijuana.

Sorkin, 39, was arrested at Burbank Airport on April 15 after security officers found a small bag
suspected of containing drugs in his carry-on luggage. Prosecutors charged him with two felony counts
of drug possession - one for hallucinogenic mushrooms and one for cocaine - along with one misdemeanor
count for marijuana, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office said in a statement.

Sorkin, scheduled for arraignment Wednesday, remains free on $10,000 bail.
 

This isn't good.
Rock cocaine isn't good.


Faces in the News

Karen Hughes, spotted going into Fox News studios in New York.


 Just get me some mane extenders
   by Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle

 Picking up on a story first reported here last week at  bartcop.com
 George Bush, the big brave man, shooting fenced lions for sport.

 Click  Here
 

 ...son of a bitch...


From: lkilbride@mindspring.com

Subject: BartCop Caller to EIB Network

Before the caller to Rush Limbaugh's show gets too excited with himself,
he should understand that he sounded like a liar and a fool.  He lied to
Limbaugh's screener about what he would talk about even though he was
advised to tell the truth and whatever it was could be discussed anyway.
He asked a question that has been answered a hundred times before so he was
boring to listeners.  He chickened out and did not ask what he said he would and
prove that Bush was forcing arsenic and salmonella down children's throats.

I would have liked hearing him explain those Democrat ads, but he missed an
opportunity to be brilliant and sounded like a coward and a looney!
Nothing was accomplished except to make BartCop fans look like idiot
Robot Liberals without a brain in their numb heads.  What a blown opportunity
to reach millions of people with a meaningful BartCop message.

He should apologize to BartCop for making him look like a goofball.
What a stupid, cowardly, run-as-fast-as-I-can-to-get-away-because-I-am-a-coward
call it was.  Then again, that is what your website is all about:
Lies and moronic and childish pranks.

Larry Kilbride
 

PS. Could you publish my photograph (attached)?
       I'm trying to attract a woman.

 Good luck, Larry.


 Prediction

 Rush has been relentless at plugging his pay-service pre-show.
 He calls it "The Grooveyard of Forgotten Hits," or something like that.

 I've never seen it, obviously, because Pigboy's not getting any of my money,
 but he says he spins "great records" from his childhood for the suckers willing
 to pay $40 a year to hear what Rush's favorite songs are..

 You know what this really means?

 He'll soon announce that he misses being a music DJ and will quit.
 He's going to claim he's "made his mark" and "it's time to move on,"
 then he'll turn everything over to that prick Sean Hannity.

 The truth is, he's got nothing to talk about without Bill Clinton. So he's going
 to retire with his hundreds of millions of "Chelsea is the White House dog" dollars
 because the one-note nasty Pigboy is nothing without Bill Clinton.

 You heard it here first.
 He's gotta stay a few months, to make it look like he could survive without him,
 but he's gone - probably at the end of the year.


 On this week's Ally McBeal, "she" did it again.

 She is Cindy Margolis, a low-level "supermodel" who's famous for one thing:
 She declared herself the "Queen of the Internet" and "Most downloaded babe."

 Neither could possibly be true.

 Well, I take that back.
 Somewhere, somehow, using certain criterial and framing the question tighter than
 the box Fed-Ex used when they ship the US Consitution, she might, somehow,
 squeak a victory somewhere with somebody, (surely not a sighted individual)
 but does this look like the "Queen of the Internet" to you?

 Sorry about the crop job, but this picture was taken when she was still a porn queen.

 Below's a more recent picture, after her rhinoplasty and a bottle of hydro-peroxide
 but still, she's not the best-looking woman on the Internet.  I don't know who is,
 but it certainly isn't Cindy Margolis, so why does she bill herself that way?
 She's better-looking than Laura the Unloved, but they share the same ego.


 Niki Taylor

  I just heard the news.
  I'm sick..

 Tribute


 The Unexamined Presidency
  by Bill Kovach and Tom Rosenstiel

 Click  Here

 Excerpt:
 After three months, what do we know about the Bush administration?
 Less than we should. A review of the press coverage of George W. Bush reveals
 some unexpected and troubling features of contemporary political journalism.




                                          click on


 Quotes

 "It was terrible the way so many members of congress failed to show up for
   the president's 100 Days dinner. I don't know anybody who'd blow off the president."
     -- Sgt Scurvy, yesterday.
 

 Not counting Monica...
 I can think of a few others, Rush.
 Let's see, there was child-rapist Mark Chmura of the Green Bay Packers.
 He refused to go to the White House because Clinton was a pervert.

 Then there's Mr. Perfect, himself, Tiger Woo
 Tiger Woo refused to go to the White House because - get this - he felt he should've been
 invited before he won whatever tournament it was that got him invited.

 What an egotistical blowhard that Mr. perfect is.

 So, Pigboy, when you say you don't know anyone who'd blow off the president,
 you're either lying or you're having another stroke.



Ask BartCop

From: (withheld)

Subject: Brittany Spears

Bart, you know that Pepsi commercial with Brittany Spears and Bob Dole?
When she bobs her head up and down that way,
do you think she's trying to simulate oral sex?

Roger
 

Roger,
Yes, and welcome to planet Earth.


 Follow-up to invasion of the personal liberty snatchers
    By James Higdon

 http://www.onlinejournal.com/Commentary/Higdon042901/higdon042901.html


Klansman Guilty in 1963 Alabama Church Bombing

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (Reuters) - A former member of the Ku Klux Klan was found guilty
of first-degree murder on Tuesday for killing four black girls in the 1963 bombing of a Birmingham
church, one of the most heinous crimes of the civil rights era.

Full Story

I read the entire story and didn't see Ted Olsen's name anywhere.
This is shoddy reporting.

Everybody knows if there's a black vs white issue, Smirk's white-power attorney Ted Olsen
will be there fighting for whitey and subverting the constitution.



From: dogfolks@cape.com

Subject: Support Women's Soccer

Bart,
In the same issue, you have a soccer fiend who is offering her services
to promote all soccer, all the time AND you exhort your readers to
support women's soccer.
 

Do you see any sort of possible connection here?
Anne
 

Well, there's obviously a soccer connection...

But if you're asking what I think you're asking,
(I'm losing my ability to make a point, it seems)
if I can't get anyone interested in football, hockey and boxing,
I think a women's soccer column would go over like a lead zeppelin.


 From Rolling Stone
     May 24, 2001

 On April 15th, Easter Sunday, Joey Ramone died in New York from lymphatic cancer.

 That night, in the middle of U2's show at the Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon, Bono took
 a moment to tell the audience how his own life had been changed by Joey and the Ramones -
 by that voice and that big rock n roll heart beating inside each song. Bono quickly found out
 he was not the only one in the room who felt that way.

 "I told the people 'I want to talk to you about Joey Ramone..." and the whole crowd went up in this roar,"
  Bono recalled with whispered awe. After telling the audience how the Ramones "got us started as a band,"
  Bono sang Amazing Grace, and then, with just The Edge on guitar, went into Joey's plaintive diamond,
 "I Remember You" from the Ramones 1977 album Leave Home.

 "The shock was," Bono said, "the crowd sang it - the whole tune.
 "Then I said that Joey had passed away that day. The roar stopped right there - the place went silent.
   It was a very powerful thing to be a part of."


From: josaund@attglobal.net

Subject: the honorable LT. Calley ???

Hey Bartcop,
Love your site and your attitude.  Couldn't let this pass.

Bob Arnold, said in a letter to you that cowards like to attack
honorable men like ... and Lt Calley of the  My Lai massacre.

The My Lai massacre was a black day for the U.S Army, made darker by the excuse by many
Americans that he was "just following orders". Now apparently in some minds he is some sort of hero.
To accept or excuse what Calley and his men did, is to say we are no better than Nazis.

There is a world of difference between shooting women and children in cold blood in the light of day, and
accidently shooting them during a fire fight at night.  I am sure that Kerry would cringe at being grouped with Calley.

Oh yes,  I was rifle and recon platoon leader in the 1st Infantry Div in 1966 and 1967.
My soldiers were as good as any that ever wore the uniform.
It was the war that sucked. But that doesn't excuse Calley.

regards
John Saunders
 

John,
I'm pretty sure the "Calley is a hero" group are a small minority.
...and a shot of Chinaco Anejo for you and your service.



McCain Critical of President Weak & Stupid

Full Story

Excerpt:
John McCain criticized the First Moron for scrapping rather than trying to fix
the 1997 Kyoto climate treaty and its efforts to curb heat-trapping greenhouse emissions.

"I wouldn't have done that,'' said McCain. ``I don't agree with everything in the Kyoto Protocol
 but I think it is a framework we could have continued to work with. We could have fixed it.''


From: (withheld)

Subject: Sports

BC:

I have an idea .
Wouldn't it be great if you just started soliciting articles from your contributors re: their favorite teams.
Then all you need is someone to coordinate the articles.
Think of it!

During the world series, you'd be down to two teams,
and perhaps two dueling sports fans writing about their favorite team.

For instance:  It's a week before the AFC championship game and, again, it's the Ravens and the Raiders
vying for the Superbowl bid.  I'd be writing about my favorite team (Raiders) and some other contributor
from the Baltimore area is writing about the Ravens.

I think it could work.
 

Sounds like a great idea, but the Sports Page needs an html-savvy editor.
Hard to believe, out of the dozens of  bartcop.com  readers, there are no sports fans.



 Tabloids could be President Bush's undoing
 by Gene Lyons

 This very well could be the best column of the year, so far.

  Excerpt:
 With one of their own in the White House, the GOP plans no investigations of Bush's very spotty business career.
 Crackpot tycoons like Richard Mellon Scaife are chortling over tax cuts instead of hiring private eyes.
 Pat Robertson hasn't  called Bush the antichrist, and Jerry Falwell's not peddling videos accusing him of
 drug-smuggling or murder. Thanks to Kenneth Starr, the independent counsel law longer exists.
 So yeah, things are quieter in Washington.
 The GOP smear machine has shut down.

 Click Here  and a shot of Chinaco for a great column by a great writer.

 I just sent Gene an e-mail saying, "Job well done."


 VCR Alert - Pigboy on Larry King Thursday for the first time ever.

 What's the catch?
 Why would the vulgar Pigboy accept calls? (Or will they shield him from the people, like Smirk?)
 Larry King, the toughest prosecutor on TV isn't going to be there.
 So, who's taking his place? Who's the person Rush will feel comfortable with?
 Pat Sajak, which takes us to another great story. One of the most famous TV appearances in all of politics
 was when Rush substituted for Pat Sajak on the old Pat Sajak Show.  I have the tape (thanks, Isaac) but I've
 just seen the first few minutes. I plan to view it and write a complete report, as soon as I can find a free hour.

 Anyway, on the part I've seen, Rush was really playing the fool. He was doing all that horseshit bombast
 about how  "I'm the greatest," and "I realize my greatness is shocking to you little people," and
 "I know you've never seen anyone as great as me," and the audience wasn't buying it at all.
 They started HOOTING, like with Arsenio, but in a bad way.

 I'll try to get to that.
 Remember, we were supposed to have a lull after the Smirk Landslide.
 It never materialized. That was supposed to be catch-up time.


 Have you ever noticed the theme song to Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect
 is actually the riff from Led Zeppelin's Misty Mountain Hop?



From: tomb@ptialaska.net

Subject: Rush's attack on Chelsea

BC, Alaska Tom here

There is one more very important reason we know Pigboy lied about the Chelsea incident.

That piece of shit excuse for a program was in syndication and taped.
That means it could have been deleted before it ever hit the airwaves.
I have even heard the fatboy say that that is how syndication works,
you tape extra and edit it for what you want.

He wanted that attack on a little girl to stay in the program.

Pigboy you are a piece of cowardly shit.
 

Tom, well put.
He is a cowardly bastard, isn't he?


Historical Marker in this Story
 

From: jcaicedo@lycos.com

Subject: Ann Coulter

Hello bC, JC here, it's been a while.

Anyway, in regards to the Ann Coulter artc., thanks for bringing to light the fact
that hate can exist on the left. Now who says your site is one-sided?

I mean think about it, if that was you up there (although it wouldn't be) and someone
came at you to harm you, you know it wouldn't be an act of love or compassion.
An act of ignorance and anger is more like it and being that you're a pretty smart guy,
I know you'd be the first to see it that way.

As you know, verbal dissension is one thing (freedom of speech anyone?)
but trying to accost someone because you disagree with them is another.
Once again, thanks for bringing this to light.

P.S.,this isn't a flag issue. it's totally irrelevant in the context of this letter.
There will always be disagreement when it comes to the Conf. flag.

Thanks,dude.
 
 

The fact that Ann Coulter can't be seen in public
is hardly an indictment of the failures of liberalism.

"Now who says your site is one-sided?"

I have no answer for that question.



 Smirky's 1040 has been unearthed by Modern Humorist

 Click  Here



 Quotes

 "Bush's tax plan is now set to phase in after ...eleven years?
   What's the heck is this eleven years business? Reagan did his tax cut in three years.
   You have do do it quickly, or it won't happen, because many of these coconuts
   in Congress won't be here after the next election."
   -- the nasty Pigboy, third hour today
 

 Coconuts in congress?

 Hmmm...let's see...
 Coconuts are brown on the outside and white on the inside.

 Was Rush talking about Oklahoma's Uncle OJ Watts?


 From: Nick Barlow   Senior bartcop.com foreign correspondent

 Subject: World Press Freedom Day

 Don't know if you already know about this, but May 3rd is World Press
 Freedom Day and I thought it would be a good thing for bartcop.com to
 mention in some way.

 For details

 Click  Here
 

 Nick, thanks for that.
 Koresh knows if any nation needs a free press, it's America.



 TV Stuff

 Tonight's "loser" on Regis's Millionaire left with $500,000.
 Last night's "winner" on Weakest Link  left  with  $40,000.

 How can Link survive giving away chump change?
 The ONLY way you can win a lot of money on "Link," is if all nine
 people answer correctly and have the discipline to avoid saying "bank."

 That's not going to happen - mark my words.
 It's not going to happen - ever.


From:  dmsuydam@herff-jones.com

Subject: Wanted: Sports editor

Dude, I'd love to volunteer to sports edit for you, but you'd have to be willing to accept
an all-soccer, all-the-time format.  I might throw in a little Cubs update every now and then,
at least until they do the usual and start blowing it.

If you could stomach the above-mentioned, I'm your (wo)man.

Nikki
 

Nikki, if it was up to me, .....wait a minute, ...it is up to me.
So far, I can't find anybody interested in football, baseball, basketball, boxing or hockey.

Do you think we could get people interested in soccer?



 By The Way...

 Remember this line, about Bernie's "Pigboy" call?

 Rush then accused him of lying about the topic to his screener and cut him off.

 Vic the Racist at work was frothing all day about low "low class" it was to lie to
  the screener to trick him into putting a caller on the air.

 But the truth is, you have to lie, because Rush has stated a hundred times,
 "the purpose of the show is to make the host look good."

 Fine, he admits that, but then he'll say, "Of course, all Democrats go right to
 the head of the line so we can be fair to them," which is pure horseshit.

 Using Rush's math, there are only a thousand liberals in America,
 since his show doesn't even average one liberal per day.
 To hear Pigboy tell the tale, there are no liberals left.

 But, Rush.
 If that's true, how did Gore win the popular vote?
 And doesn't that mean Smirk won the unpopular vote?

 Rush got on "Larry" for lying, but I ask the question:

 If "Larry" had told the screener, "I want to ask the chicken hawk why he didn't fight,"
 there's no chance in hell he would've gotten on the air.

 Have you ever noticed when hannity subs for Rush, the calls are barely screened.
 (At least much, much more loosely screened) so what happens?
 The frustrated people who've been wanting to challenge Sgt Scurvy finally get thru,
 and they start blasting Hannity for Rush's Nazi lies, and Hannity says,
 "I'm not here to defend Rush, you have to take that up with him."

 That sounds reasonable, but Rush won't take those kinds of calls.

 Lastly, "Larry" got in that great shot:
 When Rush said, "That draft story is so old, everybody's heard it," Bernie countered with,
 "But Rush, you claim all these millions of new listeners - they haven't heard the story."

 Of course, logic doesn't fly with a flaming ditto-monkey.

 Conclusion: Bernie did right by lying his way past the screener.
 More people should do that.
 Pigboy is as much of a fraud as Smirk.



From: LDRSSAGESPARKY@aol.com

Subject: Is there any doubt this guy's a moron??

British teenage singer Charlotte Church told a London paper she found
President Pud "kind of stupid" when she sang at his preinauguration celebration.

That's because when little Charlotte told Bush she was from Wales,
she said he replied, "Uh, what state is that in"?

Moron!
 

ha ha

I don't doubt that for a second.
He's cotton candy, folks.


Thanks to somebody for the mention
on the Wash Whore Post mediatalkback page

New York, N.Y.: Howard, your comments about no one being concerned with Bush's private life in repsonse
to a self-described Bush Hater a few questions ago suggests that you don't pay much attention to the Internet,
where Bush hatred and lurid fascination with his private life (especially his alcohol and drug abuse, his National
Guard days, and his family's business interests) flourishes on such sites as bartcop.com, democrats.com,
onlinejournal.com and americanpolitics.com. Do you pay attention to the Internet?
What do you think of it as a medium for news and opinion?

Howard Kurtz: I pay lots of attention to the Internet. I'm well aware of both the speculation and rumors about
these episodes in Bush's past. What I meant is that no one is quetioning Bush's personal life now, or at least
since he gave up drinking in 1986. No one's wondering what would happen if an attractive girl delivered pizza
to the Oval Office. So the criticism of Bush tends to be about his intellect and his policies.
 

I think what Howard said was:
Since he's not paying for any abortions now,
Since he's not getting in full NG units now,
Since he's not guilty of a recent cocaine felony,
Since he hasn't deserted his post durting wartime lately,
the press will use that as their excuse to not look into his current crimes.



 Robert Downey Jr.
  by Isaac Peterson

 Click  Here


From:  duprass@home.com

Subject: Spy Plane - Ranters Missing the Point

BC:

I believe the "You're being too macho" folks who keep writing in have
missed your point entirely:  we have have done nothing for which we should
apologize IF THE STORY OUR GOVERNMENT IS FEEDING US IS TRUE.

If, Koresh forbid, we did cause this and they are spinning it to their advantage
(with the facts lost ever so conveniently), then we SHOULD apologize for
the loss of life and the mess we've created.

Their fault -- No Apology
Our fault -- Big Apology

We did No Apology, followed quickly by Big Apology; this tells me
something is up, or we fold quickly when it gets rough -- neither is good.

Mikey
 

Mikey, thanks.
I feel better knowing one person caught my drift.

Same thing happened with Napster.
I said "Napster can't be stopped," and "Lars was an idiot to threaten their fans,"
and what I mostly got back was "Don't you know stealing is wrong?"

You can tell "Great Communicator" isn't my nickname.

Thanks


Looking back

Brandy Chastain, ...remember the name?

 ...who could argue that Brandy Chastain's shirt drop was, so far,
 the biggest step forward in women's sports history?

 Don't call me a pig, I'm saying that happened.
 Men are pigs.
 A good looking babe takes her top off, and that sport's a hit!

 Brandy was on Dave Tuesday nite, she was cute, funny and smart.

 Support women's athletics.
 They say athletics promote confidence, teamwork and pride,
 so let's let the women have a taste.


 I forget...

 Is it illegitimate president or bastard president?



 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,  bartcop.com
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




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