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Volume 531 - Lose the Swagger, Smirk

Recent.Old Stuff . .Celeb-ho e-mails  .Required Reading. The Liberal Media? .Crime of the Century?   Con Links    Kiss My Ass
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 July 19, 2001.  ..... Small Town X...  ...Advertise on    ..........SPORTS..  ..  ..Did you hear it? 
 George W. Bush Abortion Shocker!

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "Thank you, thank you..."
     -- the vulgar Pigboy thanking Tina Turner for singing, "Simply the best..."

  Guess what, Pigboy, she wasn't singing about you.

 Condit's Democratic enablers
  Condits colleagues should have demanded he come clean about Chandra Levy right away.
  Instead, they're still defending his stonewalling.                     from July 13, 2001

 Democrats should have been calling on Condit from Day 1 to come clean about his relationship with Levy.
 The fact that he only recently told police they were lovers means law enforcement officials lost critical weeks
 in trying to understand Levy's frame of mind at the time she disappeared. In the event she was murdered,
 they no doubt lost access to crucial clues, clues that probably don't but could conceivably lead to Condit.


Subject: Running Scared

I respectfully disagree with you on Rep. Condit and whether the DNC should disown him.  IF (and that's a big IF)
he did anything, he should find a quiet way to exit for the good of his party.  On the other hand, if this is just another
offensive of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, we should stand on principle and not act like a bunch of scared bunnies
(as you often put it).   After all, in this country, and in the Democratic Party, a man is innocent until proven guilty.

Saying Condit "should" exit if he's guilty gives the party no protection at all.

If we react to this by "eating our own," we lower ourselves to the level of the VRWC.  We send a message
to the world that the Democrats are unwilling to go to bat for their members and go scurrying under the
cracks like cockroaches at the first sign of trouble.

So, you ARE willing to die trying to save Condit Hill?

Disowning Condit will not end the controversy.  First of all, the GOP fully intends to wave this bloody shirt in public
at every opportunity regardless of the man's guilt.  Second, if Condit went away, there would be another poor
unfortunate soul to take his place within a few months...and another...and another, until the party is wholly discredited.
That is the goal of the VRWC.

As things sit right now, we will have the never-ending "Clinton, Chandra, Monica, Intern, Bondage, Condit,
Bloodstain, Monica, Chandra, Semen-stain, Condit, Cigar, Clinton, Neckties, Monica, Chandra,"
until the next election.  My suggestion would mitigate this to some degree. When Ann Coulter says,
The Democrats are the party of perverted murderers," at least we can say we disowned the guy.
Besides, it's my understanding Condit voted GOP 62% of the time.
We're going to sacrifice the House for a guy who doesn't even give us half the votes?

Of course, you're free to suggest I'm overreacting to the idea that twenty months of "Clinton, Chandra, Monica,
Intern, Bondage, Bloodstain-Condit, Monica, Chandra, Semen-stain, Condit, Cigar, Clinton, Neckties,
Monica, Chandra," will hurt us next Noveember, but I'm not as confident as you.

As I suggested during the WH vandalism "scandal," Democrats targeted by the VRWC should take full
advantage of their rights under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution.  To do otherwise is to feed the
beast, and if you feed the beast, the beast wins, and then God help us all.

I don't mean to put words in your mouth, but it sounds like you're saying we should lose the House
with class and dignity, so as not to become "one of them."  Aren't we tired of losing with pride?

We have seen what happens when the right has total power for just a few short months.
If we play their game, they will have power for a generation or more.
Please, don't let this happen.

Dumping Condit gives them power?
I don't think you have made a cinvincing case for that,
but I appreciate the polite disagreement.

Visit David's website at


 "President Bush is meeting with other leaders in Italy.
  This is true, they had to call in police to remove some anarchists.
  When Bush heard the news he said, "Good now send them back to Antarctica!"

 "Yesterday Dick Cheney came down with laryngitis so his wife had to deliver a speech for him.
  After the speech, Cheney's wife had to spend the rest of the day telling Bush what to do."
     -- Conan

 Check out Sally Slate

  She's outrageous!

 Freepers turn on their best friend, Larry Klayman
  After nine years of worship, Freepers turn...

 Larry Klayman Is A Moron ...

  Thanks to


 "Welcome to the Tonight show.
   We have a new set, new desk, new chairs, new everything.
   Just the same as Gary Condit's apartment!"
     -- Leno


Subject: Condit

I don't give a rat's ass about Condit.
What I care about is the crap like what is at the top of today's MWO.
When is a Democrat going to stand up and say, "Have you no shame!?  Have you no sense of decency!?"
Of course we know that the answer to that question is "No.  Of course not!"

But it would be nice to see a little outrage for once.

Jim H.

Jim, I'm not asking you to give a rat's ass about Condit.
I'm asking you to care about the 2002 elections.

Can I be that bad at making a point?
You thought that rant was about Condit?
I'm trying to save the House, man.

Screw Condit.


"Dick Cheney, I wouldn't give this guy's troubles to a monkey on a rock. He gets his electric bill.
  He doesn't live in the White House. He lives next door in the junior White House. He gets his
  electric bill and it is $186,000. I am telling you he should have gotten the solar-powered pacemaker.
  You'd have a big electric bill if you had to use those electric paddles eight times a day. 'Clear!'

  On top of all that Cheney has laryngitis. He can't talk.
  Of course, that's from yelling all day: 'Quick, my heart pills, quick!'

  I'm in a lousy mood! Last night I found out Mom is dating a congressman.

  Now, I don't get this. George W. Bush is in Europe again. Wasn't he just there?
  This is all part of his second "I'm In Over My Head" tour."

  He's in Europe for the G-8 Summit. When asked if George W. could name any of the members
  of the G-8 he said, "Why sure. Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Aquaman, Wonderwoman."
         -- Dave

 I have nothing to do with this.
 I'm just saying the site exists.

 I mean, I know he's always preferred stallions over fillies...

 More Guitar Stuff

  Click  Here


 "Where? Northern Ireland? No, what I told the leaders of--Prime Minister Blair
    and Ahern, I said, 'call me if you heed help.' They're the folks closest to the ground.
    They're intricately involved in the situation."
      -- President Weak & Stupid, trying to remember which continent Ireland is on.

 Did Kathrine Graham Murder her Husband?
     ...or is Richard Mellon Scaife just being an asshole again?

 Click  Here

 "She had him committed to a mental hospital, and he was clearly intending divorce when
  she signed him out and took him for a weekend outing during which he was found shot.
  His death was ruled a suicide."

 ha ha

 So, thirty years before Clinton, we had the Graham Body Count?
 Republicans never change, do they?

 Where's the pressure on Gary Condit to do something?

  Two weeks ago, I would've (and may have) guaranteed the demos would win back
  the House next year. Right now, as of tonight, I'd say it's closer to a pick 'em.

 Look at the situation Condit has put us in.
 We're going to hear 24/7 non-stop "Clinton, Chandra, Monica, Intern, Bondage, Bloodstain-Condit,
 Monica, Chandra, Semen-stain, Condit, Cigar, Clinton, Neckties, Monica, Chandra,"
 until either Chandra shows up, or the dark knight of the 2002 elections, where we could lose 60 seats

 ...if we don't do something.

 Remember what the GOP hate machine did to us in Florida?
 Did you read that last Robert Parry article on Florida?
 They came in with tanks and we laid down for them.

 Bill Bennett and the moralist crowd will be swarming on cable news until this ends.
 How many weeks/months will we hear the 24/7 "Democrats are murdering perverts" drumbeat.

 Is there anybody who thinks Condit should le left alone?

 Is Condit's innocence what we want to bet the next election on?
 Why isn't Condit getting an ultimatum from Dick Gephardt?

 Do we want to bet the House that the Condit story won't get worse every day?
 For months?

 I don't know how you get kicked out of a party, but it needs to happen to Condit.
 Probably, all it would take is for a dozen older Democrats to call a press conference.

 Is there anybody who thinks we should stick with Condit till the end?

 Before you ask, it was different with Clinton.
 - the whole country elected Clinton twice.
 - Clinton didn't kill anybody - for certain.
 - we knew Clinton was set up because of the damage he was doing to Reagan's  revolution,
    or whatever they called that great train robbery. Condit wasn't set up.

 So, I say we don't go down with Condit.

 If you think we should risk the House sticking with him, write to me.

 We can politely disagree.


Subject: Danny Gatton

Hi BC-

I'm mostly a classical fan and no judge of guitarists, but I did have the pleasure of hearing
the late Danny Gatton perform live a few times. He sure as hell sounded like the real deal to me,
and when you hear him I think you might agree.
   Danny killed himself a few years back. No one really knows why. He only had a few
 commercially released recordings, and his wife sells them from this site... instead of waiting for a badly dubbed copy you might wanna order one from here
and toss a few bucks to someone who can truly use it. I don't think you'll be disapointed.


 I really enjoyed your letter.
 What is it about guitar talk that makes people lose their sanity?
 I don't know how people read what they read, but I'm getting angry e-mails saying,
 "How dare you say Gatton was a no-talent loser."

 Here's how it went yesterday:

 Rude Rich:

 >> What a fucking dork you are.
 >> You tell me that Danny Gatton can't be any good on guitar because you never heard of him.

 >> Rich, I didn't say your boy Gatton was no good - I've never heard of him.

  Thanks for reading what I wrote.

 Crossing Jordan

 I've never heard of this before.
 The new Jill Hennessey show, Crossing Jordan, has the former Law & Order babe
 as a lady who does autopsies with a twist, whatever that means.

 The strange thing is, they already sold the show in syndication before a
 single episode hits the air. Have you ever heard of that before?

 Pax TV announced they have bought the show for next year.
 They must be pretty confident that they have a wiiner of they're re-selling
 the show before the public has seen it.  Let's hope it's good.

 From: Neva

 Subject: Rudely Ejected

 On July 2, I was touring the Jefferson Memorial with family and friends.
 Then a policeman ordered everyone to leave. People objected, dawdled and asked why.
 He was forceful, even rude, and ordered us all out of the monument.
 We all stood around, cordoned off,  to wait to see what was happening.
 Soon President and Mrs. Bush arrived by motorcade.

 Imagine our surprise when we saw  television coverage of the event showing
 the Bushes shaking hands with "visitors"  to the memorial. What visitors?
 We had  been rudely ejected. The visitors must have arrived in the motorcade or been
 bused in around the other side of the building while the real visitors were rudely herded out.

 This is democracy?


 Neva, no, this is NOT democracy.
 This is what we have since Tony Scalia decided the voter's wishes didn't count.

 ...and the whore media is complicit in the cover-up.

 That's why you saw hand-picked staffers, bussed in as "tourists" having a good time with Smirky.
 Those "tourists" were as real as the "citizens" who stopped the ballot count in Florida.

 Remember whenever Bill Clinton left the White House, some Freepers would scream
 foul names at him and the whore press gave them front page coverage every time.

 But when an unelected, weak and stupid moron is appointed by his daddy's white, wealthy friends,
 the American whore press joined the charade because they don't want to make Karl Rove angry.

 No, Neva, we do NOT have a democracy.
 We have a boy king who's dumber than spoiled meat.

 Our good friend Jack at is going to
 be roasted on C-Span this Saturday between 7:30 and 8 EST.

 It'll repeat two hours later.

 Guess who had a hilarious exhange last night?

  Old Larry King was talking to Mark Garegos (D-Sane) and Ann Coulter (R-Clownblower)


 COULTER: I'm not married.

 GERAGOS: And I wonder why, Ann. I wonder why.
                      Can you imagine coming home to this crew?

 COULTER: Another excellent argument. Last night I was drunk.  Tonight...

 GERAGOS: I know. And tonight you're single.
                      Well, there's a correlation there, Ann...

 COULTER: You have many excellent arguments.

 GEREGOS: Maybe if you'd quit blowing clowns for free french fries...

 Well, maybe that last line was mine, but every other word came from the transcript


 "He woke up this morning sort of croaking and making some noises."
   Lynne Cheney, on Dick, whose laryngitis forced her to deliver his energy speech in Philadelphia


Subject: Need an answer to Question

So you are DEMON-CRATS!

It figures you would have a JOKE of a page like this one, hahaha!
You people are a laugh a minute.

To bad your page isn't a sophisticated as Rush Limbaugh's.
Dumb stupid democrats can't even vote proper, FLORIDUH!!!!


<takes a sip of the Chinaco...>

Sharon,'re a lady, right?

The place you're from,  ...where you grew up, ...what are the men like?

 Guitar Stuff

 I found that tape of Mr. Guitar God.

 I'll post some sound bites tonight or this weekend, meanwhile,
 I thought I'd show you something that looks unusual to me.

 I don't play guitar, but I was in a bunch of bands years ago, owned a live rock club,
 been to a hundred concerts and have seen hundreds of guitar players on TV or tape,
 and I've never seen a guitar player use his left hand like this.




 Don't most guitar players use the tips of their fingers?
 This guy, his name is Scott, seems to use the flat of his fingers to hold down strings.
 And he just holds it down for a fraction of a second - he slaps the string with the part
 of his finger where the fingerprint swirls.

 Since I don't play, you might write back and say, "Idiot, the first one's a G chord, the second one is an A,"
 but I've seen dozens of guitar players, and nobody ever LOOKED like this while playing before.

 Hell, I tried to do this...

 ...and I hurt my hand.

 Will post some clips soon, but isn't that a weird way to play.

 It's funny, on this tape, he's teaching other very experience players tricks.
 They're saying things like, "Show me how you do that seventh-suspended thing
 without using that finger or that string," or whatever.

 If you play, you'd enjoy this tape.

 G.O.P.s Affair With Condit Is Over
    by Joe Conason

 Click  Here

 If the Republicans are the stupid party, as conservative commentators often remark,
 they are also undoubtedly the lucky party. Over the past several years, their leaders in
 Congress have tried repeatedly to recruit a certain very conservative Democrat from
 Modesto, Calif., into their ranks.

 As recently as last December, the Bush transition team reportedly put Gary Condit on
 the short list of its prospective nominees for Secretary of Agriculture.

 Only good fortune preserved them from those possibilities.

 Our BartCop Entertainment section is getting closer and closer.

 Check out this sample page by
 She's doing the UK Entertainment and celebrity gossip.

 Click  Here


 "Have you folks been following the Gary Condit saga?
   A couple of days ago police found blood stains in his carpet.
   And you know what that means, in about a year he'll be in Florida playing golf."
      -- Dave


 Subject:  Bartcop Banned in Dixie!

Well BC-

I hope you're satisfied you've been banned in Dixie and
Koncerned Konservative Kitizens are building bonfires with your work:

I've never been big with the Hitler Youth.


"Economists predict that this year's federal surplus will be $120 billion
  less than predicted in January.  The missing $120 billion was reportedly
  last seen on a date with Congressman Gary Condit."

"Condit also agreed to give a DNA sample to the police, which comes
  as no surprise because he has been willing to give his DNA sample
  to everyone else in Washington."
     -- Dennis Miller, former comedian

Sony Music sues the Dixie Chicks
Sony is suing the Dixie Chicks for breach of contract. A complaint filed Tuesday in federal court
accused the Dixie Chicks of trying to leave Sony on "sham" claims that they've been underpaid.
Sony lawyers asked the court to enforce the current contract and bar The Chicks from signing with another label.

Since signing with Sony in 1997, the group has recorded two albums - "Wide Open Spaces" and "Fly" -
selling 15 million records worldwide, the complaint said. Sony claims the contract calls for up to 4 more albums.
Despite being paid millions of dollars, the Dixie Chicks demanded the company renegotiate their contract for
millions more, the suit said. Talks broke off last week when the group announced it was leaving the label based
on false claims Sony was withholding royalties, it alleged.

First of all, the Dixie Chicks aren't my favorites.
They're probably good, for a country act, but if there's no Shania or Faith in the group,
they're not going to attract my attention, but I know who they are.

But look at that whore press release that (no doubt) Sony dictated and distributed.

"Despite being paid millions of dollars," ...what does that sentence mean?

 Sony sells 15,000,000 albums, at, say $15 each, which is $225,000,000.

Let's say Sony paid them "millions of dollars" each.
That's what, six million dollars?

Out of $225 million, the artist gets $6 million?

...and they had the gall to ask for more?

How greedy can those Dixie Chicks be?

All I know for sure is the whore who wrote that story and the whores who printed it
should be ashamed of themselves for trying to screw those girls out of their money.

One other thought:
I know this isn't very capitalistic, but once you've got your $50 million or $300 million in the bank,
like the vulgar Pigboy or Bill Gates, it's time to stop being so damn greedy. But when you're a new act,
and the label is taking 90 percent plus of all the money you generate, that's a crime.
And there's no way the Dixie Chicks can fight Sony court.

Besides, after what we saw from the High Whore Court last December,
who can trust what any judge does anymore?

Sony probably owns more judges than Vito Corleone.

Lauren Bush
Only 16, and she knows how to  n-a-s-t-y
If you look close, she's showing a little something.


  "21 years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq
    and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same
    electoral process we do, you don't need the popular vote to win"
     -- Jay Leno

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had everything.

 Copyright © 2001,
   Thanks for the fumble, Dude.

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