Six days left for Julie Hiatt Steele
From: Tamara Baker
Don't use the website PO Box
Julie Hiatt Steele
There he goes again...
Have you ever noticed that whenever somebody that Rush knew dies,
Porky will do a long monolog about how that person loved El Pigbo sooooooo much.
Then he'll offer anecdote after anecdote of how the recently deceased
for his fairness, for always giving all sides of an argument, for being a class guy,
for being proud of Rush and his great character and on and on and on and on.
Of course, the dead guy can't refute the self-serving lies Pigboy is telling.
Remember how he did it with JFK Jr?
He always frames it to where you can't dispute his piggish lies.
He'll tell some story about a legend he met at some golf tourney, and hell tell
how the recently deceased pulled him aside and whispered,
"Rush, you're the greatest man in America and I mean that most sincerely,"
and since it was a private conversation, with no witnesses, and
now thew guy's dead,
Rush gets to fabricate whatever self-serving horseshit his fertile mind can dream up.
caused the Riots in Genoa?
Bill Clinton - of course!
Get your barf bag, then Click Here
resort tabbed for next G-8 summit
by R.B. Ham
Subject: Rolling Stone
Bartcop once again is exactly correct: Rolling
Stone magazine died and was buried
and rotted decades ago, but the stinking carcass reeks more than ever.
N-pink? 'The Biggest Band in the World'?
No friggin' way.
You are correct sir, they are not a band, a band plays music.
I just watched the boy band of the month on Leno with the sound turned down, and I observed the
Michael Jackson inspired coreography that would get most normal schmucks on the street beaten up quick.
They are utterly devoid of any noticable talent, lip synching flat uninspired 'lyrics' and dancing stiffly and
robot-like just like 5 trained monkeys. Absolute puke.
What the hell ever happened to music?
My dad used to say the same thing about the Beatles and Frank Zappa,
and I feel like him now watching N-puke. Its sad B.C. Sad, sad, sad.
I also agree that in about a year, they will all be in rehab and featured on
'Behind the Music' with the same tired story of being on top of the world for two crazy years, and descending into
hell for two more. "We spent an awful lot of money, we screwed an awful lot of girls, we did an awful lot of drugs".
We all know that their memory will last a lunchtime. A mere blip on the screen of pop history. All the nauseating
boy bands are interchangable like cardboard cutouts.
Call me an old crab but, the public
is being force-fed this swill from all angles:
Rap, hip-hop, Madonna, (forgive me b.c.) Britney, Christina, Blow me and the Ho Fish, Metallica, Michael Jackson,
M&M, Elton John, Pantera, Marilyn Manson, ALL BOY BANDS, and Dolly Parton totally suck shit.
Sometimes I get a little crazy when I'm forced to listen to it in a restaurant.
It ruins my appetite, delays digestion, and leaves me with heartburn. I ate in a local diner today and halfway through
my meal I suddenly realized there was no music at all being pumped through the room. It was great... I'd prefer none
at all if I have to listen to that drech.
There is really an ocean of great music out there floating around if you care to investigate.
The 20th century and its music changed the world forever.
There's never been another century like it for music.
A virtual explosion of emotion and art, with artists too numerous to list.
So why, with a world FULL of great music and musicians, do they spew out this offensive audio vomit?
Pop radio is the real vast wasteland. Wanna see something really bizarre? Type in a search for the lyrics of
the boy groups, Nsick, Buttstreet Boys, etc. Who writes this shit....? I'll tell you who DON'T write them....the boys themselves. The author of this shapeless crap is of course the sleazy 'promoter/manager' who gets the Colonel Tom
Parker share of the take. He finds em', trains em, trots em out on their little tours and dumps em as soon as they begin
to slide toward 'Behind the Music' oblivian.
I think this is all Michael Jackson's fault. He really is responsible for the complete gutting of good popular music,
from The Jackson Five to Thriller to whatever it is he's going to force on us next.
He and his fans actually think he is a god. The man has made bad taste and pomposity and art form, and has
brought pedophilia back into vogue. Watching N-stink reminded me of just how much Jacko has stunk up the place.
I can understand how all this sewage appeals to the teenies and the kiddies, but the grown up adults who buy this
shit and consider it serious music should be ashamed of themselves deep down inside. But, I suppose they don't really
have a deep down inside to be ashamed of. Like Rolling Stone Magazine.
Mo, your problem is you have no passion.
How are YOU going to spend your $300 or $600?
I can only think of three possibles:
1. Send it to Julie Hiatt Steele.
2. Send it to bartcop.com
3. Tequila binge in Las Vegas
If you can think of any good ways to spend that money, e-mail
me and we'll print the best ones.
Short answers are best, and put "Spend $300" in the header.
Takes a Village Idiot
by Isaac Peterson
Will Mrs. BartCop and I be the only ones watching Murder in Small Town X tonight?
I can't remember the last time I mentioned something several times
and never received a single e-mail about it.
Of course, since it premier's tonight, that makes sense,
but am I the only one with a sense of anticipation?
Jimmy Carter Criticizes Bush Performance
Jimmy Carter said he is disappointed in the Boy
King's performance he has ignored
moderates in both parties - including Secretary of State Colin Powell.
Carter criticized Bush for not pressuring Israelis
to withdraw from the Gaza Strip,
for threatening to abandon the antiballistic missile defense treaty, for not supporting human rights,
and for "strictly conforming" to the views of conservative Republicans.
"I have been disappointed in almost everything
he has done," Carter said.
Hey, Jimmy - we all are.
Subject: Tax Rebate checks
On the local news last night
here in Detroit there was a story about a woman
who had received her tax rebate check and was trying to decide how best to boost
the economy by circulating the money. The problem was the amount of the check.
It was for $1.45.
She had considered buying a
bag of nuts, but it was $1.49; a gallon of gas (if you just
get regular) is $1.34 this week, so that might work....The Dollar Store was having a sale
on Christmas ornaments at $.50 each, so she could have gotten 2 of those. She decided to
keep it and frame it, as it's comic value was actually worth more than the check itself.
They ended the story by saying that the government had spent more than $35 million
just sending out notices that people would be getting a check.
The other thing that bothered me was that they showed the check, and it had
something like "Tax Relief for Taxpayers" printed in the lower left hand corner.
Is the IRS part of the Republican propaganda machine now?
I guess I shouldn't be surprised (actually, nothing
much surprises me since
November) but I hope some of the more intelligent people who bought into
this coup are beginning to realize that they've been had.
Pam, yes, whatever President Weak & Stupid wants is what the Democrats
Remember, he said these rebate were to spur the dead economy.
That lady should start a small business with that money and hire people.
"We don't have the resources to run down
every missing person in Washington DC."
-- Catherine Crier (R-Whore) on the Chandra Levy murder
Why is Smirk throwing the trillion-dollar "surplus" to his friends
in BIG OIL
if we don't have enough money to locate murdered women in Washington DC?
Y'know, if Pteradoctyls flew over DC and abducted our young women,
it would be the number one crisis in all of America and we would mobilize to stop it.
But since they're just being kidnapped and sexually tortured and
murdered by men
who are too insane to keep their beast in its cage, we say, "We can't afford to stop that?"
This is horseshit.
I realize, in a nation of 280 million people, that shit happens
and things go wrong.
But Chandra Levy taught us that ONE-IN-THREE women who "go missing"
go missing from the streets of our nation's capitol - and we can't afford to stop it?
Let me put it this way:
More women are kidnapped and murdered in Washington DC than all the kidnapped
and murdered women in New York, Los Angeles and Chicago COMBINED,
but we don't so anything about it because we don't have the money?
...and Smirky is sending out "THE SURPLUS" to his rich friends in BIG OIL?
...a big shout out to Tony Scalia:
"IGNORANT, TRUTH-RAPING *&$^#^*^ MOTHER-$&%*@^%^&*"
(This shout out censored by the standards and practices committee of bartcop.com)
Trafficant Worried about Rape in Federal Prisons
With federal prosecutors closing in on him, Rep.
James Traficant (D-Crazy)
is apparently watching his back pretty closely.
During debate last week over the Commerce, State,
Justice appropriations bill,
Traficant delivered a rambling speech demanding that managers of the legislation
not forget the rampant "overcrowding and rape" in federal prisons these days.
While Traficant has had concerns about prisoners
who have been moved to his
district from Lorton, Va., HOH couldn't help but wonder whether the lawmaker's
own legal predicament was in the back of his mind.
Hey, Jimmy, tell them they can have sex with your hair if they leave your ass alone.
From: Lanny the Nut
Subject: Your Legacy, The KKK
As you well know since the Civil War 95% or more KKK members have been Democrats.
It is not surprising then that you hate Clarence Thomas, Republican Jackie Robinson and now Tiger Woods.
It must drive you left wingnuts crazy that JJ Walker is a comedian and a right wing Republican.
No KKK members there. They are all in your party now.
We threw them out along with David Duke the Democrat.
Forever Your Superior,
Lanny, if that's correct,
if you're telling the truth,
why are there no black Republicans?
From yesterday - this time, the link works.
Subject: Paypal for Julie???
I'm sending Julie a check TODAY, but isn't there some way Paypal could help?
Does Julie have an email addy?
Anne, no, she can't afford one.
She used to have a computer, and I was real flattered when she told me
she had read some bartcop.com but when you're losing your home,
computers and monthly online fees are luxuries one can't afford.
That's real nice of you...
Happy Birthday to Slash (36)
I like the way he plays.
If you don't like Slash, don't write and tell me about it.
Subject: The Gaylords of Oklahoma
I know you're in Tulsa, so you probably don't
care much about The Daily Oklahoman.
(the incredibly right-wing paper in Oklahoma City)
I understand they just canned 150 people because the Gaylord's are being hit hard
by this economic downturn. In fact, it's so bad that Eddie Jr. only managed to trade in
his $65,000 Mercedes for a $100,000 one.
So it makes sense that he laid off 150 people
who probably averaged $30,000 a year
(and most of them were near retirement and have worked for the ocmpany for 25 years or more).
Like I said before, I'm so glad I'm not a member of the media anymore.
Yeah, those Gaylords are something.
They make the Washington Times sound like Elenore Clift.
Where to buy Fortunate Son by James Hatfield?
Buy the book directly from the only publisher who has the cojones to publish it.
I'm so stupid (Chris Farley)
Thanks for the slap.
Subject: The biggest band in which world?
I have heard OF n'sync, but I couldn't name one
of their records if
doing so would eject the First Squatter's ass from from Al Gore's house.
I swear I thought n'sync was three young black
These guys are supposed to be the biggest band in the world?
This is what passes for rock music?
There was a time when I wondered if the music
or if I was just getting old. It turns out that while I am getting old
...the music REALLY DOES suck these days.
Meanwhile, in Italy, a guy whose band sold 23-MILLION
albums earlier this year
...and has sold at least a million records each year since 1970...is dying.
A shot of the "Nac", for a guy who REALLY WAS in the biggest band in the world
Michael, dittoes on the shot of Chinaco for George Harrison,
...but ...he says the reports are
Maybe the whore press is doing what they always do, ...or, ...maybe George is being brave.
Right now, nobody knows.
The London rag, "News on Sunday," or some shit, claimed they
got it from George Martin,
but Martin and Harrison have both denied the everything, so who knows...
The Failure in Thief is "very angry" about the protestors in Genoa.
So, what does that mean?
They'll commit suicide in an Arkansas hotel room?
You might remember his e-mail address, firstname.lastname@example.org
He wrote a very interesting short story about growing up in Russia
then immigrating to America that I thought was really good.
I wrote him back and asked for more.
He put together a webpage with his life story.
It's a damn good story - they should make a movie out of it.
It's something I think you'd enjoy reading.
I'm not saying Americans are spoiled rotten, (cough) but I think
do everyone some good to read this great biography.
His English and spelling ar better than mine.
Compared to billions of other people, all Americans were
If you don't lose a few tears reading this story, you're probably a Republican.
Alex, great stuff!
Subject: Watch your back
If the Bush Crime Family is indeed responsible
for James Hatfield’s death <signs point to “yes”>
then it seems that his murder would primarily serve as a warning to others who might also talk.
They are not at all adverse to being mafia-esque, after all.
Watch out for horse-heads in your bed, offers
you can’t refuse,
and don’t accept any polite invitations for helicopter rides.
Wed, I'm getting a lot of mail like this, so let me go ahead and say
If I commit "suicide," it was murder - guaranteed.
Nobody is more stable than Ol' BartCop
My personal life is so perfect and full - it should be illegal.
Mrs. BartCop is a dream
Like my good friend G, Gordon Liddy says,
"It's better to be judged by twelve, than carried by six," and I'm absolute hell in court.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.