Fair & balanced


Evil is real
...and it's fronted by a hampster.

Porn by Reagan

Cheney Leaving?

Sick Again?

Ich bin ein Enroners

Nudity on bartcop

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

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Volume 709 - Kissing the Shark

Valentines Day
Don't screw up.
You're almost out of time

Cheaper than Diamonds
 South's Finest Chocolate

 Tuesday     February 5, 2002               Send me an Angel                Recent old stuff              Shopping w/ Bart
  VCR Alert
- Niles proposes, 24 is tonight, NYPD Blue, Roswell, Smallville - I need more VCRs.
  Bill Moyers: ''Trading Democracy.''    This program explores the Bush 'end run around the Constitution.'

 The reason for the pink tutu
    by Jeff Crook

   Click  Here

 The Looting of America
 Reagonomics, Clintonomics & Enronomics
   by Al Martin

  Click  Here

 Reaganomics has never worked and it can not be defended. When you see TV pundits like Larry Kudlow
 and Bill Seidman defending Reaganomics, you mustunderstand that they are not pure economists. They are
 political economists, and they owe their careers to the Republican Party. Both Kudlow and Seidman make
 their money as senior economists for the Heritage Foundation, the Cato Institute, other Republican so-called
 think tanks, economic research institutes and socio-economic forums. Bill Seidman, of course, was the former
 chairman of the Resolution Trust Corporation (RTC), where there were many allegations of fraud. When the
 RTC was charged with cleaning up the S&L mess, it promptly proceeded to sell off a lot of property at very
 favorable prices to well-known Republicans and Republican interests.

 I had to go to the Courthouse to teach three defendants a lesson.

 Vic the Nut called my cell phone and said a large UPS package had arrived from Knoxville.
 He said it smelled like fine, luxury chocolate.
 I told the Court Clerk something important had come up (true) and would she hurry?

 When I got back to the office, I couldn't believe how big the box was.
 I must've ordered it while having a Chinaco moment.

 I'll have to get into it big-time when I get to BartCop Manor, because it'd be suicide
 to spread all these boxes out on a table with these jackals I work with.

 I've been enjoying God's Chocolate since the fifties, since before I could talk.
 Christmas and Easter were big chocolate holidays in...Denver.
 They used to sell it at Mavrakos Candy Stores and it was mas fina.
 One day, we went homer to ...Denver and the Mavrakos store had closed.
 For about a decade, the chocolate remained buried like Indiana's Arc.
 Then, one lucky day, we were touring the Biltmore Castle in Ashville, NC, (don't ask)
 we stumbled into their fancy-ass Gift Shoppe and I saw those triangles of Heaven.

 I bought all they had, and asked where I could order more.
 "South's Finest Candy Factory in Knoxville," the lady behind the counter said.
 I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.

 So I called SFCF and begged them to sell me more chocolate.
 Ellis, the head chocolatier at SFCF, said I could order all I wanted. 
 "I can always make more," he said.

 ha ha

 That's the spirit!
 That's the can-do attitude that built America!


 So tonight, while watching 24 and NYPD Blue, here's the plan:

 First, a chunk of South's Finest Break-Up Milk Chocolate, followed by an extra-salty
 Indian Brand Pumpkin seed by the Agress Seed & Nut Company of New York City,
 followed by a 1/16th shot of my finest Chinaco Anejo.

 Then another chunk, another pumpkin seed, and another 1/16th.

 No phone calls, please.


"Whenever there's a Bush in the White House, many people die, and the rest of us are threatened.
   I just didn't think it would happen quite so quickly."
    --  Jello Biafra in "The Progressive"  February 2002

 Stocks Sink to Three-Month Low on Accounting Nerves

   Click  Here

 Stocks crumbled on Monday, sending the broad market to a three-month low, as investors
 caught a fresh bout of "Enronitis" -- a confidence-sapping malaise that has Wall Street
 questioning the honesty of corporate financial statements.

 President Weak & Greedy, please resign your stolen office so Al Gore can fix the economy.

 The War on Waste
  Look what the BFEE is doing now...

  Click  Here

 Just last week Bush announced, "my 2003 budget calls for more than $48 billion in new defense spending."
 More money for the Pentagon, CBS News Correspondent Vince Gonzales reports, while its own auditors
 admit the military cannot account for 25 percent of what it spends.

 "According to some estimates we cannot track $2.3 trillion in transactions," Rumsfeld admitted.

 You know the CIA/BFEE is making billions from this.
 They probably got a fourth of that, 600 billion.

 They're going to do this for years and years.
 When was the last time a Republican said, "I've stolen enough, I can rest now."

The Angina Monologs

 Gotta check out 

 On the TV show 24, doesn't it figure that it's the B.F.E.E. truying to murder the black guy?

 I mean, Democrats don't commit murder, that's strictly GOP stuff.
 Democrats are too busy getting laid to get into murdering the innocent.

 And who runs the CIA/FBI/military and the crooked courts?

 The Bush Family Evil Empire has a license to rape and steal.

 So, how do we stop them?

 Traficant's trial begins today
 Congressman Loses Corruption Appeal

"They're trying to
 make me look stupid."

 Do Unto Others . . . Oh, Never Mind
   by By Michael Tomasky

  Click  Here

 Liberals have acquiesced in letting conservatives paint them as libidinous traitors and moral relativists
 for three decades, and have only occasionally, and tremulously, defended their values.Those values
 -- more central to the task of governing than the realm of personal mores -- have brought the nation
 the 40-hour work week, the G.I. Bill, civil rights, Social Security, Medicare, cleaner rivers, lower
 poverty rates and the first federal budget surplus in a generation (now gone), among many other benefits.
 I'll go out on a limb here: I daresay most Americans find these gains rather useful in their day-to-day lives.
 But I don't recall hearing Al Gore invoke much of that history at critical moments in 2000.

   The Team Concept

Did Enron Steal From Employees?
 Ex- Employee: Nearly $15 Million Taken From Benefits Accounts
 Money Meant For Employee Medical, Dental, 401(k) Plans
 Did Benefits Money Go To Outside Consultants?

 Click  Here

From: Peter.Young@veridian.com

Subject: Finally, an answer to the personal time


Did I hear the New Hampster Boy right today?  He literally doesn't have the guts anymore?
Is that how he lost all that weight, by removing several feet of intestine?
Is his stroke prognosis on the downside again, admitting this?

Do you suppose there was a gerbil infection involved, necessitating an emergency colonectomy?


 Oklahoma Logic
  by BartCop

 Click  Here

 Day 14 of the Shirley Manson log

  So far,

     ...have not heard from Shirley.

                                                      c l i c k           to              o r d e r

  Shirley Manson - contact  bartcop.com

Check today's

 Michael Dare's Helen A. Handbasket, a clue where Cheney hides, Natalie Portman,
 Bruce Willis on Estella Warren, Gov. Jesse Ventura, David Letterman contract news,
 Big Dog sighted in Chicago and LA, Oscar Fever begins, Star Wars II,
 Julia & Tom & Tom, Daryl Hannah vs Jackie O, Paul McCartney,
 Jodie Foster, Hugh Hefner, the Grammys - it's all in one place

 - at today's 

Hi, I recently discovered your site and want to thank you for the best site on the net.
Reading your articles is like therapy after all of the pro-bush shit that is published by the traditional media.
Thank God someone is exposing him for the rat bastard that he is.
Also, I wrote an editorial for my college newspaper, and wondered if you would put it on your site.
It concers Bush's stupidity in the "Axis of evil" quote.

Keep up the good work,

The Fool on the Hill
   by Carlos Lugo

  Click  Here

From: Judson_Kilpatrick@chcmail.com

Subject: C.S.I. best drama

I think C.S.I. is kind of weak. The worst thing about it is the cast.
The perfectly coifed female and male models just aren't believable.
"Law And Order" is much better--- in almost all of its permutations.

And best of all is "24", if that qualifies as a "drama"
It is the best show EVER on television and is more exciting than most action movies.

I agree that 24 and Law & Order are fine shows, but Law & Order just lost
the perfectly coifed female model that made it extra fun to watch.

"I say we hang them all."

...you can't get acting like that just anywhere

 Happy Birthday to...
 Barbara Hershey (1948)  Jennifer Jason Leigh (1962)  Laura Linney (1964)
 Henry Aaron (1934)  Al Kooper (1944)  Duff McKagan (1964)  William S. Burroughs (1914)

 Top headline in today's USA TODAY

 Did bin Laden get away?


  The question isn't "Did he get away?"

 The question is, "Was his engineered escape always part of the plan?"

 Remember, bin Laden gave Bush what nobody in the world could give him - legitimacy, sort of.
 President Bunnypants's approval was in the high forties the morning of September 11th.
 The planes hit, and Junior scurried into a hole and let Giuliani run the country for a few days.

 And for this his approval goes into the nineties?
 What if Bush had acted like a man that day?
 Would his approval have gone to 135 percent?

 As long as bin Laden is "missing," we're stuck under martial law with Ashcroft's religiously-insane rules.
 Meanwhile, the man some call president is free to "Enron" the treasury, and anyone who
 asks questions is "helping the terrorists."

  The Bush Family Evil Empire has a license to rape and steal.

  So, how do we stop them?

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 We're supported by our supporters.

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This BartCop Hex has me soiling my Texas trousers...
I need my friend Jim Beam, the pressure's too much.


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