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The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

Thanks to the Wizard of Whimsy

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Volume 739 - We'll Waste Some Time


 Friday     March 8, 2002           Send Me an Angel            Recent old stuff            Shopping w/ Bart


 "You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote.
   We're not going to forget this!!"
   -- George W. Bush, public drunk, playing the fool, to Capital Gang's Al Hunt,
       in a Dallas Mexican restaurant in 1988, in front of Al's young daughter.

  President Moron, you're such a disgrace, you know that? Bad seed, no manners,
  uncouth, AWOL, abortion, never held a job, bribe-taking, tax-raising gouge specialist...

  You're a GOP dream come true.

 West Wing, Sorkin, to "BartCop" President Weak & Stupid
 From some loser's column on worldnetdaily.com

 Why, then, did "brainy" Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore lose to his obvious intellectual inferior?
 Sorkin offers this analysis: Gore, reluctant to demonstrate his superior intelligence, pulled his punches against Bush.

 In an upcoming "West Wing" episode, Sorkin intends to pit President Josiah Bartlet, played by Martin Sheen
 (who once called Bush a "moron"), vs. a less-than-bright Republican candidate.

 Sorkin explains, "Bartlet is going to be running against Gov. Robert Ritchie, of Florida, who's not the sharpest tool
 in the box but who's raised a lot of money and is very popular with the Republican Party. ...
 It was frustrating watching Gore try so hard not to appear smart in the debates
  why not just say, 'Here's my fucking resume, what do you got?'"

 That's called....a FIGHT!
 Too bad Gore didn't fight like he promised he would.

 Sorkin for president, and I don't care if he's doing mushrooms and Maureen Dowd.

 Stomach of Steel?
    by George F. Will,  who science has proven is more stupid than Chippy the Chimp

  Click  Here

   Excerpts of his railing against the Unelected Idiot on Terriers & Bariffs:
 - less principled than Bill Clinton  (whoa, he actually says that?)
 - economically indefensible
 - Bush's measures are new taxes on American consumers (what happened to "tax cuts, so help me God?")
 - Think of them as an $8 billion contribution ...for Bush's re-election campaign.
 - "national security" is the incantation that currently trumps common sense

 Consumer Consumption


 Nothing says excitement like Mutual Funds

 The foreman of Julie Hiatt Steele's jury was a Freeper
  Did you know that?
  Did anyone know that?

 Apparently, he was going home at night and posting the days events on the Freeper boards,
 to the extreme delight of the Simian Collective, which would seem to be illegal, but what do I know?

 But if Ken Starr allowed it, it must be OK, right?

 Another juror's father worked for Bob Barr (R-Passes for white).
 Wouldn't that seem to be a conflict of interest since Bob Barr was the first handjob
 to look into impeachment proceedures, even before he heard of Monica?

 But if Ken Starr allowed it, it must be OK, right?

 You gotta love American "justice."

 Saudi Doctors Report First Womb Transplant

 They didn't say which Senate Democrats were involved...

From: Wallace Pankow

Subject: America Radio Network plugs Bartcop

Just finished listening to William Rivers Pitt on the Mike Malloy show.
Malloy threw in a plug for Bartcop, Buzzflash, etc.

Grow Hammer! Grow!

Wallace Pankow

Wallace, thanks for that.
I keep forgetting to mention that Mike Malloy was reading some BartCop
the other day, and read Father Mushroom's rant, too.

Listen to Mike Malloy afternoons at  http://ieamericaradio.com

 The David Brock confessions continue...

 He's dishing secrets of the family-values whores he used to hang with.
 Among his allegations:

 Ann Coulter and Brock smoked and drank to excess
  Ann seemed to live on nothing but Chardonnay and cigarettes
  and vented out our anger and cruelty by hurling all manner of
 epithets at liberals and the disadvantaged."

 Laura Ingraham "confided she didn't believe much of what she was saying on the airwaves.
 Once in Washington, Laura, in a drunken stupor, crawled through a packed two-story dance club
 on her hands and knees, looking for me."

 Laura Ingraham on her knees?
 I knew about Coulter, didn't know about Ingraham.

Ann Coulter's free-fries-for-life program

People ask if that's really her - and yes, it really is.

 An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele
 >>> April 27th <<<in Washington D.C.

 Click  Here   We have a new total.

 Write to Julie at   PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451

 E-mail to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 PayPal to Julie, Click  Here  ->

 If you send me anything send your phone number

 Send Juliefest stuff to  Juliefest2002@yahoo.com

 Don't forget to check 


 "For Mr. Ray to now suggest that he could have brought charges
   is a little bit of a low blow after the matter has been put away.
   It's highly unethical, it's unfair to the person investigated."
    --Rep. John Conyers Jr

 If you think girlfriend-beating John Fund is a sick bastard,

 Click  Here

 Also, my good friend, the usually solid Eric Alterman has written something that confuses me:


 (2) Wall Street Journal editorial writer John Fund has landed on Page Six in a bizarre tale that is almost too weird to write down. It seems that a woman with whom Fund had an affair twenty years ago named Melinda Pillsbury Foster sent her daughter, Morgan, to look up Fund when she came to town. One thing led to another and the results appear to have been a live-in relationship and an abortion. This is strange enough for a Wall Street Journal editorial writer who, although very much a
gentleman in person, penned some of the most vicious and irresponsible material about Clinton and the Democrats outside
the columns of this magazine. (Fund is also a ghostwriter for Rush Limbaugh and, irony of ironies, is widely believed to be
the source of Matt Drudge's libelous claim that Sidney Blumenthal is a wife-beater.)

Anyway, things did not exactly work out. Mother and daughter decided to take their revenge by uploading onto the web a
taped telephone call in which John attempts to reconcile his support for Morgan's abortion with his "family values" politics.
They then informed the media that John and Morgan had decided to wed after all. This turned out to be false, but the next
thing you know, Fund is gone from the Journal's editorial page, arrested in Manhattan for battery of Melinda and under a restraining order. (Join me for a moment in imagining what the Wall Street Journal/Washington Times/New York Post/Fox News/Rush Limbaugh/American Spectator scandal machine would do with this crazy story if it were about, say, Frank Rich.)

In the meantime, I am inclined to accept Fund's denials absent contrary evidence. Politically the man may be a menace,
but his accusers have already proven themselves to be--to coin a phrase--"a little bit nutty."
You pays your money and you picks your liar.

Since James Carville and Mary Matalin share a bed, I thought we'd all
gotten past the  "can you believe they're a couple" kind of thing.

Eric, you've mentioned the taped phone calls, and I must assume you've
read the police report, yet you believe him, "absent contrary evidence?"

You described Fund's work as "vicious and irresponsible," yet you give him
the benefit of the doubt, having heard the tapes and read the police report?

Suggestion - talk to Morgan for five minutes - you'll change your mind.

At this moment, Morgan is in the house where Silence of the Lambs was written.
She says it's "creepy."

 ha ha

 You gotta go here

 Fox News...
 ...is there anything funnier than Fox News?

The Pathology of Clinton-Bashing
    by Jeff Ritchie from Democratic Underground

 Click  Here

 Excellent article - take the time.

 One Year Ago Today...

 The Republican-controlled House voted for an across-the-board tax cut of nearly $1 trillion over
 the next decade, handing President Monkey in a Man Suit a major victory only 48 days into his term.

 Scott Waddle, the commander of the Lincoln Bedroom sub that collided with a Japanese fishing boat
 off Hawaii, was made the scapegoat for the Enron fat cats who were driving the sub on
 orders from the White House as a payback for their campaign contributions.

 The press immediately launched a major investigation into Clinton's possible role in those deaths.

Excerpt from a note to Julie:

Hey, would you like to be a Senator from VA?

ha ha

Senator Steele

Think about it.

Senator Steel:
- the lady who can't be pressured.
- the lady who can't be intimidated.

Senator Steel:
- the lady who doesn't scare.
- the lady who slayed the Republican Dragon.

Senator Steel:
- the lady who sticks to her principles when the going gets tough
- the lady who does the right damn thing no matter what the odds are,
  no matter how scary the alternatives to victory might be.

Senator Steel:
- the lady who tells the truth, even when it's not "convenient"

ha ha
That last one's my favorite, like it wasn't "convenient" for her to lose everything.
Tell me - would YOU vote for Julie Hiatt Steele?
The crowd chants:

"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"
"Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie"

I was trying to think of someone else I knew of with courage.
People like Christopher Reeve or Arthur Ashe had no choice but to be courageous.
People like Walter Payton and Ryan White were very courageous,
but they couldn't simply utter the words "OK, I'll do it," and end all their troubles.
Julie was in that position.

She could've twitched her nose like Sam on Bewitched
and made allllllllllllllllllllll her troubles disappear.

Susan McDougal is the only other person I can think of who was in Julie's position.
Both she and Julie were tortured by the same religiously-insane SOB.

Senator Steele

I like the sound of that.

I can't wait to meet her.
50 days from today.

 If you  Click  Here  you can hear Smirk screw up
 a dozen answers to some very simple questions - good stuff!

 From: davehammer2001@hotmail.com

 Subject: I'm a confused bastard

 Click  Here

Repugs Give New Meaning to "Chicken Hawk"
   by vcz, with a small assist from Bart

  Click  Here

 House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt - Served his country in uniform, 1965-71
 House Majority Leader Dick Armey- avoided the draft, did not serve.

 House Minority Whip David Bonior - Served his country in uniform, 1968-72
 House Majority Whip Tom Delay - avoided the draft, did not serve.

 The list goes on and on like that.

 That Baxter guy from Enron
 Was it suicide? Or was it murder?
 Would evil men murder to steal billions?
 Why did the Texas cops call it "suicide" BEFORE the investigation began?

  Click  Here


 Thursday, in K-Drag, a man died in police custody.
 They arrested him Wednesday night, and by Thursday morning he was dead in his cell.
 What was the cause of death?

 The Oklahoma Medical Examiner said he wouldn't know until he did all the tests
 an that will take approximately TEN WEEKS.

 But wait a minute!

 The Texas police ruled Baxter's death a suicide within HOURS of finding the body.

 How can the Texas cops know within hours that Baxter held a handgun TWO FEET away
 from his head and then shot himself with "rat shot,"  if the Oklahoma cops say it takes
 TEN WEEKS to get test results back from the lab?

 Oh, well, whatever makes President Oil appear innocent and legitimate, I guess.

     How about a hemp t-shirt that pricks our Failure in Thief?

                                                  click   to  order   Buy 3, get free shipping

  (This is a comedy bit)

 I have a question:


 If your name was Christine and you worked at CNSNews.com, (Christian News Service) and you
 once worked for Rep. Mark Sanford and also for Steve Forbes's presidential campaign, and you held
 a bachelor's degree in history from George Mason University and is currently working towards
 a juris masters degree at GMU's law school

 - would it be a good idea or a bad idea to send John Fund nude pictures of yourself?

 ha ha

 Make me stop!!!


 How bad would it be if those pictures fell into the hands of a fella who...
 Oh, ...I dunno, ...
 let's say a fella had a comedy treehouse website
 and was begging, just BEGGING for someone to sue him.

 How bad would that be, ...do you think?
 Would that be a little bit embarrassing for Christine?

 Of course, I'm not saying these pictures exist,
 and I'm not saying I'm looking at them right now.

 ha ha

 I'm just asking how bad that would be for Christine at CNS...
 I wonder - would Mr.Bozelle be upset?
 Or does he have copies, too?

 Of course, if Christine had never sent John Fund any nude pictures of herself,
 it would be impossible for these pictures to exist, right?
 Then this would just be a comedy bit for the reader's entertainment, right?

 Reminder: Lawsuit mail should go to bc_biz@yahoo.com


"It's not clear what the purpose of the report is other than to promote Robert Ray's
  Senate campaign, Monica's HBO special and the Paula vs. Tonya boxing match"
   -- ex-Clinton spokesperson Jennifer Palmieri

 Suppose the food and drink manufacturers
 were as responsive to consumers...

 ...as Dick Cheney is to the GAO
on his secret energy task force advisors?

 From: Pff5

 Subject: What Clinton did for the Economy


 I saw your response to a misguided writer regarding what Clinton did for the
 economy.  Although I agree with most of what you write (except the profanity
 - but you are easing off that over the years, too), your answer appeared very
 weak to me, as if you were grasping for straws.

 Click  Here

 I've never claimed to know much about economics,
 but I disagree with how weak my answer was.

 I said I'd start with the most important point and that point was
 it doesn't matter what anyone can explain.

 If every Democrat brings good news and every Replublican brings bad news,
 the reasons aren't important.   I don't care if they credit the Tooth Fairy, but the Democrat
 will deliver prosperity and the Republican will deliver layoffs and recession,
 usually accompanied by a war or two. The reasons hardly matter.

 Click  Here  for another view of how Clinton pulled of his Miracle

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