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Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Return - Poker at Al's

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
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Volume 773 - Chasing Psychos


Sat-Sun   April 13-14, 2002           Send Me an Angel           Recent old stuff           Shopping w/ Bart


"Watergate was exposed by the CIA’s main newspaper in America, The Washington Post.
  One of the two journalists who investigated the scandal, Robert Woodward, had only recently
  become a journalist. Previously Woodward had worked as a Naval intelligence liaison to the
  White House, privy to some of the nation’s highest secrets. He would later write a sympathetic
  portrait of CIA Director Bill Casey in a book entitled Veil: The Secret Wars of the CIA.

 It was Woodward who personally knew and interviewed "Deep Throat," the unnamed source
 who revealed inside information on Nixon’s activities. Many Watergate researchers consider
 one of Woodward’s old intelligence contacts to be a prime candidate for Deep Throat. "
    --Steve Kangas, who died in Richard Mellon Scaife's building from a "self-inflicted"
      gunshot wound and then became the victim of a Scaife-financed smear

 Suicide Blast Kills 6 More in Jerusalem

  Full Sad Story

 A suicide bomber blew herself up at a bus stop in a Jerusalem's market Friday,
 killing six people and wounding at least 84. The attack came while Colin Powell
 was trying to arrange an end to Israeli-Palestinian violence.

 To all those people who screamed "traitor" and "coward" at me for that
 screaming eagles story - we have at least ninety casualties - just in one day.

 A year after I first published that story, I'll bet I could populate an entire Oklahoma
 town with the people who were not killed or wounded in the last 365 days.

 They could live their lives, with all their friends and relatives in dusty Oklahoma,
 but they love that certain patch of sand more than they want to see their kids grow up.

 Stroke Me, Stroke Me

 "The myth of the vanishing rain forest is just that - a myth.
   The rain forest isn't disappearing, ...it never was, ...never has."
     -- the vulgar Pigboy, third hour yesterday

 Of course, this might not be a by-product of a stroke.
 It may just be a bald-faced Pigboy lie.

 We still have tickets

 Being of slow wit, I've always found it advantageous to build in some extra buffer.
 I expected the prep for Juliefest to be a madhouse, and that it would take two weeks
 minimum to straighten things out, but Christian is such a Koresh-send, we're all caught up.
 Things seem to be working remarkably smoothly. She not only has a brain but she can
 organize and prioritize and all that good stuff and best of all, she doesn't flap.

 We still need some buffer, so we can't sell tickets up till the last second,
 but we still have some tickets because James C gave us a little extra room
 and each ticket sold is more foundation and security of Julie, ...so let's party!

 This is going to be one of those nights that, ten years from now, everybody will claim
 they were at the big Juliefest celebration at Carville's place, but they'll be lying.
 Only the cool people will have been to Juliefest2002-DC
 It's not tax deductible, but what the hell, claim it anyway.

 Let's party!


 Remember the Telex that George Herbert Herbert Bush sent to Saddam that said,
 "The United States will not interfere in your affairs?"

 Why doesn't the young Bush boy send a Telex like that to Ariel Sharon?

 Why do we expect every nation to help us find the bad guys,
 then tell Israel not to take aggressive action against suicide bombers?

 New toon from Tom Tomorrow

 Click  Here

 Subject: Will they subpeona BartCop?

 Dig this man--the number of subpoenas has risen to extraordinary numbers
 under patriot/homeland security--and EVERYONE is a SUSPECT!


  In the Name of Homeland Security,
 Telecom Firms Are Deluged With Subpoenas

 Click  Here

 Operating under new powers to combat terrorism, law enforcement agencies
 are making unprecedented demands on the telecommunications industry to
 provide information on subscribers, company attorneys say.

 These companies and Internet service providers face an escalating barrage
 of subpoenas for subscriber lists, personal credit reports, financial information,
 routing patterns that reveal individual computer use, even customer photographs.

 I'm so clean it's disgusting.  All my "crimes" are right on this page.
 I don't care what the government knows about me. I got out of the child sex slave
 business years ago, and my heroin smuggling is down to almost nothing these days.
 There could never be a "True Hollywood Story" or "Behind the Scenes" on me
 because it would be more boring than Senate hearings on writing new tax laws.

 Damn, he beat me to it...

 I was going to write a thing about The Bush Doctrine, the newest horseshit phrase
 that's on everybody's lips these days in Washington. If there even is such a silly-named thing,
 I'll bet a bottle of Chinaco that The Chimp can't explain it unless Cheney writes it down for him.

 Besides, as far as anyone can tell, the Bush Doctrine means Skippy plays his Gameboy
 while the Middle East burns itself to the ground, but I wonder how John Monty sees it?

 Dickin' with the Doctrine

 Click  Here

 George chose not to get personally involved in the peace process between Israel and Yassir Arafat's
 Palestine Liberation Organization solely because Bill did get personally involved. If there is a Bush
 Doctrine, it is "Whatever Bill Clinton did, do the opposite." That's it. The only reason.



 See this thing here?

 It's a 2-D wood carving-deal that unfolds into a 3-D wooden basket.
 There's a bunch of them if you click on that link.

 It's really kinda cool.  Makes a helluva Mother's Day gift if you're stumped for a gift.
 Mrs. BartCop loves these things and she's extra-hard to make happy.
 Koresh, fill that basket with South's Finest Chocolate and you're the King.

 ...and when you run out of chocolate, you can hang it on the wall as a 2-D.

 Boston Cardinal Says He Won't Quit

 Amid growing demands that he step down because of the sex scandal,
 Cardinal Bernard Law said Friday that he will continue serving the
 Boston Archdiocese "as long as God gives me the opportunity."

 So, the Cardinal will stay "as long as God wants him to?"
 This reminds me of a Tulsa joke from 1976, when we first arrived.
 How does Oral Roberts decide what percentage of his millions of dollars
 to keep each month and what percentage to give to the poor?

 He throws it all into the air and says, "Take what you need, Lord,"
 and then he spends whatever God allows to fall to the floor.

 IF the Cardinal helped to hide the guilty, he's a co-conspirator to repeat felonies.
 IF he let this happen, again and again to helpless children, he's gotta do time.

 The Willster sent this...

 Six inches of limestone,
 eight inches of brick,
 ten inches of concrete.

Subject: more for the George W. list

These weren't on the list you had of the Boy King's accomplishments:

77. Directed the FBI And CIA to "back off" their investigation of the bin Laden family.
78. Sent $43 million to the Taliban less than six months before the September 11 terrorist attack.
79. Reneged on a campaign promise to prohibit storage of additional radioactive waste at the
     Yucca Mountain facility, calling for an additional 77,000 metric tons of high-level nuclear waste
      to be transferred to the site. (That promise delivered Nevada's four electoral votes and
      - with the assistance of the Supreme Court - the presidency.)
80. Promised $20 billion to assist New York City with cleanup, relief and rebuilding efforts
      and later shorted the city $9 billion, lowering that number to $11 billion.

Added to the yearonebush.htm  list

 Capital Gang was interesting...

 Everyone agreed, even Novak and Snaggletooth, that Bush is a rudderless idiot
 who has no Mideast Policy and if he does, nobody understands what the hell it is.

 It's rare that all five agree on anything.

 But they did it again in the next segment, that the Boston Cardinal is a goner.
 The Cardinal issued some half-denial, half-admission that perhaps they were
 "too focused" on individual pedos and failed to look at the greater picture.

 That sounds like, "I was too focused on the bank's money
 to realize it was wrong for me to break in and steal it."
 ...and this guy speaks for every Catholic in Massachusetts?

 They keep SAYING they want to clean up this mess, but you don't
 do that by having the guilty say, "by-gones" and "Let's get on with life."

 Also, they said, according to Ari the Honest, the Smirking White House has
 washed their hands of the Powell trip, saying he's on his own.
 This way, when Powell comes back empty-handed, the young Bush boy
 can skate free of all responsibility AGAIN!

 Think how that makes Powell feel.  He's on the diplomatic mission of his life
 and his boss is acting like he's some Ollie-north loose-cannon bungler,

 ...of course, the press and the Democrats will let him get away with it,
 because The Chimp is never responsible for anything that goes wrong.

 There's always something good at 

 Details at


 "You don't know what you'll do
   until you're put under pressure,
   ...across 110th street was a helluva tester,"
   -- Bobby Womack's "Across 110th Street," from "Jackie Brown"
       and, more recently, the Juliefest 2002-DC soundtrack(more on that later)

 You know what else is a helluva tester?

 Having the weight of the entire goddamn United States government come down hard on you.
 - watching your house 24 hours a day, tracking your every move
 - following you when you go to the store or pick up your son from school
 - tapping your phone, tracing each call, tracking down each person and investigating them
 - having your own bank try to entrap you into a crime so they could use it against you
 - having a million dollar legal bill dumped on you, forcing you out of your comfortable home
 - having the whore press paint you as a criminal when all you did was tell the truth
 - having goons call your sister in Florida and threatening her to get you to play ball

   Hey, Kennyboy - how'd that goon get Julie's sister's number?
   He got if from you, didn't he, you son of a bitch!
   Who else had that number, Kennyboy, only her phone tappers, you guilty slut.
   Julie stood up to everything you and the federal government could throw at her so you
   contracted outside for some fascist goons, and you tell people you're a religious man?
   You're a cowardly fraud who got beat by a woman, you motherless bastard.

 - teaming up with a known liar to discredit your name and reputation
 - investigating your son's adoption, suggesting he might be taken from you
 - forcing you into a cocoon of isolation so you don't entrap your neighbors, friends and family
 - years of endless legal entanglements, briefs, proffers, motions and discovery meetings
 - forcing you to become dependent on others, something that you'd almost die to avoid
     but when you have a little boy who depends on you, sacrifices have to be made.
 - the broken leg and busted knee wasn't Ken Starr's fault, but it added to the pressure.

 - what else?
    Oh, yeah, rotting in prison for forty years

 Remember November and December of 2000, when the lawless Republicans stole the election?
 Remember how hard they fought to steal control of the White House and our lives?
 That's how hard they went after Julie Hiatt Steele, and she was all alone in that fight.

 In less than two weeks, we're going to meet the hero who withstood that presssure, and she
 came out of it with more class, humor and dignity than I thought I've ever see in anybody,
 much less in someone walking out of hell to reclaim a small piece of her life.

 You can meet her, too.
 Don't miss this chance to celebrate her victory.
 April 27th at James Carville's West24

 Click  Here  to get your tickets to Juliefest 2002-DC

 I'm sure things were tough in Bobby Womack's world,
 but I doubt he knows what real pressure is.

 Meet the Press

 Tim the Tiger was so tough on Condi Rice, I couldn't believe it.

 Russert: Will Powell come back with a peace agreement?

 Rice: He's there to deliver a very strong message.

 Russert: Oh, OK, let's move on...
                 Since the suicide bombers say they get their orders directly
                 from Arafat how can you maintain that Arafat is a man of peace?

 Rice: Terrorism must stop.

 Russert: Oh, OK, let's move on...
                Will this president bring peace to the Middle East?

 Rice: Tim, this conflict is decades old...

 Russert: Well, thanks for sitting in the hot seat, Condi!

 Three years ago, when the topic was the president's penis, Russert grabbed on with both hands and
 refused let the administration get away with any non-answers, as tho anyone had information about
 the president's penis besides the president. But now that the topic is merely world stability, Russert
 turns into Mr. Marshmallow.  He is clearly the house organ of the Weak & Stupid administration.

 Since Ari and Tim have essentially the same job, explaining away Bush's bumbling
 why is Russert getting millions each year and Fleischer only gets $80K?

 Would you like to be a sponsor of  Juliefest2002?

 Here's how that works - security is going to cost Julie $360.
 But if YOU wanted to sponsor Julie's security detail, you would get a nice
 personal note (not an e-mail) from Julie that would probably say something like,
 "Thank you, (your name here) for seeing to my safety on my big night."
 that would be worth framing and hanging in your den or on your desk at work.

 People would constantly be saying, "How do you know Julie Hiatt Steele?"
 There are also various transportation costs (not mine) for this event.
 Would you like to be a $300 transportation sponsor?

 We're going to have flowers for Julie (maybe $100) and a giant cake $80....(thanks Nick)
 The pro photographer is probably $200...(thanks Marg Matt)
 Douglas E has sent a $300sponsorship/expense package.
 If you'd like to sponsor some costs for Juliefest, which mean more money
 in Julie's pocket, write to us at juliefest2002@yahoo.com

 We have more tickets - tell a friend!

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal your $100 per ticket to   bartcop@bartcop.com
  or snail mail checks/MOs (do it soon) to  bartcop.com
  at PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155


"I'm tired of this right-wing side sidewind. I've had it. America's economy is
  suffering unnecessarily. Important American values are being trampled.
  Special interests are calling the shots, and it sometimes seems as if,
  in the words of the poet, 'The best lack all conviction and the worst are
  full of passionate intensity.' If you agree with me, then stand up with
  conviction for what we believe in and fight for it."."
    -- Al Gore speaking out yesterday, eighteen months too late, in Florida

 Thanks, Al.

 This isn't something we planned to do, or wanted to do, but we're in a situation
 where expenses are at an all-time high and treehouse donations are at a low,
 so I thought I'd make this OFFER to see if anyone was interested.

 10 cents a minute.

 No, it's not the greatest deal on Earth, but I've seen big companies brag about
 17 cents a minutes, and ten is less than 17, right?

 If you use AT&T, Sprint or MCI, check your phone bill. Swear to Koresh,
 sometimes you're paying THIRTY cents a minute for long distance.
 Funny how Ol' Bart could offer you a dime a minute and the big boys charge 30 cents.

 You travelers - if you're ever in a hotel and call long distance, you could be paying
 up to a dollar a minute with hotel charges. If you use a pay phone at a truck stop,
 you could be paying three dollars a minute - trust me - I've been there.

 The cards are good ANYTIME - none of this nights & weekends crappola.
 The only bad news is if you're at some truck stop or hotel, they'll charge you three or
 six minutes worth of time for the call, but you're saving 1-3 dollars a minute if that happens.
 The cards are good forever, too - they don't expire.

 Here's how it works:
 You PayPal or snail mail me $100, and I'll e-mail you a 800 number and
 a code that enables you to have one thousand minutes of long distance.
 My good math tells me that just a dime a minute - that 's cheap!
 and you don't have to listen to Carrottop make his pitch, either

 Maybe this will be a successful fund-raising idea, maybe not, but lately we've negelected to be
 sufficiently selfish and expenses are piling up, so if you're paying MORE than a dime a minute
 (you are) you might consider getting in.  Even you people with "free" long distance on your
 cell phones - you signed up for the $40 plan but your bill is always $75-100, right?

 If you want in, PayPal me at  bartcop@bartcop.com  or snail mail $100 to
 PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155  and put "Cheap long distance" on your money order.
 I'll e-mail you the phone number and a private code good for 1000 minutes.

 Ma Bell is a greedy mother - I'll treat you better.
 Make  bartcop.com  your long distance carrier.
 You save money and the treehouse gets a nickle - that's cool.

  Days EIGHT & NINE of Bush engaging the Middle East problem

 Sharon Defies Bush
  US President seen as weak and stupid

 The Bush boy:  Withdraw immediately!

 Sharon: Go away, boy, you bother me...

 Today in History

 In 1828, the first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary was published,
 and Rush Limbaugh denounced it as "being full of lies and distortions in an attempt
 to fool young skulls full of mush that liberal means "not bigoted" and conservative
 means "adhering to the past."

 In 1986, Americans got first word of a U.S. air raid on Libya where Ronald Reagan
 was successful in killing the young daughter of Moahmar Ghadafi which would make
 Reagan a terrorist so I wish history would stop lying about that raid.

 One year ago: The 24 crew members of the U.S. spy plane landed at their home base
 after President Weak and Stupid got on his knees and begged China for mercy so the
 long term plans with Uncle Prescott and the Bush Family Evil Empire wouldn't be hurt.
 The Crew was greeted by thousands of friends and family but not Governor Bush because,
 the White House claimed, "he didn't want to hog the spotlight," the liars. He loved hogging it
 at the Olympics, and at the World Series and the Super Bowl, but when the occasion is military,
 our Failure in Thief can be counted on to go A.W.O.L.

  This is not news
 US jobless claims hit highest level in 19 years

  Click  Here

  With a Republican in the White House, you always get war and recession.


 You published:

>"Hitting a 70-yard-wide building with a 52-yard-wide Boeing 767
> at 500 miles per hour requires virtually instantaneous  reflexive
> response time-a lightening-quick three-tenths of a second."

Horse manure, Bart!  We're talking about a plane being flown at a big-ass
building with plenty of time to constantly check and recheck its headings.

The problem of terrorism is bad enough without nuts like Rall and Al Martin
 irresponsibly mouthing off.  How are they any worse than Rush mumbling,
"Well, it's just a theory" after 2 solid hours of Clinton-raped-Girl-Scouts rhetoric?


 Ted Rall, Tom T, Doonesbury and Boondocks are the Big Four net toonists.
 I thought it was newsworthy that Rall would say that.

 Does this mean you totally reject the Pearl Harbor theory?
 That Bush allowed this to happen to get into the Big war?

 I'm not saying I believe it, but Bush has asked that it not be investigated,
 (and of course, the Dems agree) which is a little strange, no?

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