Fair & balanced


We still have tickets!
See "Hot" banner below.


Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Return - Poker at Al's

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media


Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 PO Box 54466.... Tulsa, OK  74155



Back Issues
Contact Us
Project 60
Demo Underground
JFK Conspiracy
BC Entertainment
BartCop Sports
Chat & Post
BartCop Reader
The Vegas Report
New to BartCop?
BartCop Books
Online Journal
Bart Cook
Your Ad Here
BC Astrologer
BartCop Store
Joe Conason
Gene Lyons
Julie Hiatt Steele

Volume 774 - A Riddle to Soldier Through This


Monday   April 15, 2002           Send Me an Angel        Recent old stuff        Shopping w/ Bart


"It's like people who say they could be Madonna-they can sing,
  they can dance too, but they're not Madonna. End of story.
  Because it doesn't matter how close you can get
  if you don't have the spark.
    -- Shirley Manson, who sparks like a dangling power line

 The Oil President Hits a Slick Spot
       by Robert Reno

  Click  Here

 The Unites States now confronts the excruciating problem of having a president
 who is virtually owned by the domestic oil industry and is, at the same time,
 a virtual hostage to foreign oil producers.

 As it is, Bush has an oil man for a vice president, was an oil man himself and is
 the son of an oil man. He has so much oil politics in his blood and Enron friendships
 in his administration that if you poked him, you wouldn't be surprised if it gushed out.

From: Dylan

Subject: Greg Palast is the best!!! RE: Venezula

  In one of your previous issues you had link to Greg Palast's web site on
an interview he conducted about the IMF, WorldBank and globalization issues.

I read the whole thing and one of the topic's he talked about has come true
-- which is the overthrow of the Venezula's president Hugo Chavez.  Here is the quote:

'What they said was here you've got an elected president of the government and the
IMF has announced, listen to this, that they would support a transition government
if the president were removed. They are not saying that they are going to get involved
in politics - they would just support a transition government.

What that effectively is is saying we will pay for the coup d'etat, if the military overthrows
the current president, because the current president of Venezuela has said no to the IMF.
He told those guys to go packing. They brought their teams in and said you have to do this
and that. And he said, I don't have to do nothing. He said what I'm going to do is, I'm going
to double the taxes on oil corporations because we have a whole lot of oil in Venezuela.
And I'm going to double the taxes on oil corporations and then I will have all the money
I need for social programs and the government - and we will be a very rich nation.
Well, as soon as they did that, they started fomenting trouble with the military and I'm telling
you: ...the President of Venezuela will be out of office in three months or shot dead.
They are not going to allow him to raise taxes on the oil companies.'

Wow!! And here's today's story on the overthrow:

Venezuela President Resigns in Tumult

 Click  Here

This is the B.F.E.E. taking over the world, one country at a time.
The press doesn't care and the Democrats are scared little rabbits.

Here's our side:

Here's their side:

 ...only 75 days until the Bixby Silver Queen corn comes in.

 You take away your Chinaco Anejo,
 you take away your South's Finest Chocolate,
 and Bixby Silver Queen corn is about the finest taste on earth.

 Hurry, time, ...hurry!

From: Pureevil

I’ve been thinking about the whole “collateral damage” thing.
Innocent civilians in Afghanistan are collateral damage from military strikes.
Innocent Palestinians are collateral damage of Israeli military attacks.
Because they are military attacks, they aren’t considered “terrorist “attacks.
At least this is how Bush defines it.

So, if whoever attacked the WTC and Pentagon (clearly a military target)
were perpetrating military strikes, wouldn’t that make those civilians

That is what logic states.

It is a real pisser to get hung by your own definitions.

...then where do you put Harry Truman?

 How many Japanese children died to save US forces?

From: BadiiRy

Subject: Hello from Tucson

Hello, I love your site.
Do you have any issue that makes fun of Fox News and Sean Hannity, that stupid moron?

If you do not have one, please make some fun of this bastard.

I'll work on that, meanwhile...


 "Tim's lost my support. For a man to leave his wife and marry a
   staff member, there has to be underlying things in his character."
   -- former supporter of Arkansas Senator Tim Hutchinson, (R-Zipperproblems)
      who was all over Clinton for "bad character" while he was banging his secretary.

 'Family Values' Senator has a tough race
 after banging, marrying cute staffer

  Click  Here

ha ha

Julie is so much more popular than Karl Rove...
People won't drive across Little Rock to see Rove,
but Julie fans are flying in to DC from Seattle, Portland,
San Fran, LA, San Diego, Texas, New Hampshire,
Florida, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Chicago etc etc

 I mailed my taxes this morning.

 I owe the feds $620, which means I owed them $20 and
 I'm giving back the $600 President Pinhead loaned me to get the economy moving last year.

 I've been yanked by my government, and I didn't get a kiss.

Arafat Tells Powell
No Cease-Fire Until Withdrawal

 I'm not saying the Middle East problem is "just like" a Billy Jack movie,
 but does anyone remember the first Billy Jack Movie?

 No, Billy Jack was the second Billy Jack movie, Born Losers was the first.
 In Born Losers, the motorcycle gang corners Billy and the bikini-clad temptress.
 Billy (who has a gun) and Tempy are backed into a corner by 8-10 gang members.

 Billy says, "Who's in charge?" and the leader says "I am."
 Billy says, "Let us go!" and the gang leader says "No."

 So Billy Jack shoots him between the eyes.

 Billy asks, "Now who's in charge?" and the new leader steps up and says "I am."
 Billy says, "Let us go!" and the guy says, "Yes, Sir."

 Arafat is promising continuous suicide bombings until further notice,
 so my question is,  why is Arafat still alive?

 We still have tickets

 We still need some buffer, so we can't sell tickets up till the last second,
 but we still have some tickets because James C gave us a little extra room
 and each ticket sold is more foundation and security of Julie, ...so let's party!

 All the cool people will be at Juliefest2002-DC
 It's not tax deductible, but what the hell, claim it anyway.

 Let's party!

Ready to gag?

 The lying multi-millionaire gets a park named after him for his bad behavior?

 ...but wait, what's that to the left and right of the word, "Park?"

 ha ha

 Of course, it's wrong to vandalize anything,
 even Bush's Cabanaboy's tribute to himself,
 so let's put those stickers in less illegal places, OK?

Ozzy gets star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

 This one's for the music, but he deserves another one
 for having the funniest show on television this year.

 I read about it on

 From: Murdoch

 Subject: the ted rall items on 13 & 14 april

 You should publish a correction of your item about Ted Rall and the Pentagon attack.
 The statement you printed on your Webpage WAS NOT BY TED RALL AND DID NOT
 REPRESENT HIS POSITION. He was quoting an Internet conspiracy-monger and saying
 that such statements should be read critically and with careful comparison with known facts.

 Yes, anyone who clicked on the link would see that Rall was discussing,
 not advocating --but BartCop quoted some reader who was misled and
 blasts Rall on the basis of the highlighted statement.

 Good point, you are correct.  I blame the Catholics for my poor reading retention skills.
 I sometimes read things faster than the speed of light, ...so apologies go out to my
 good friend Ted Rall, whose position was inadvertantly mischaracterized.

Woods Captures Third Masters Crown

Facing some of the world's best players, Tiger Woods gave more
evidence that a chasm remains between him and everyone else.

Oh, please!

Three strokes is a chasm if you're Pigboy trying to form a complete sentence,
but not for Mr. Perfect, the world's greatest golfer.

I caught a few minutes of the Masters and I was shocked to find out the second
and third-greatest golfers in the world couldn't sink three foot puts!
It's not that Tiger is so great, it's that everyone else sucks more.

Details at

 No bonus section today
 The counter says only one-in-five readers bothered to click, so I'm guessing
 that time could be better spend doing something else, perhaps staring into space.

 Maybe I failed to provide adequate incentive, but I can't figure out why
 four-out-of-five readers don't bother to read the middle section of the page.
 It's not like I dumped the "B" stuff there, it was top-flight stuff, that is,
 assuming there's anything of value on the front page.

 One close advisor put it this way:
 "It's the same goddamn reason we lost Florida.  We're Democrats.
   We can't read a f-ing ballot to cast a vote for the right candidate,
   and we can't figure out how to click on a highlighted f-ing link."

 Is that why we were beaten by the most inept politician in history?
 Is this why a boy who didn't know that Social Security was a federal program
 whipped half of the most successful presidential team in history?

 I will not be discouraged by this.
 I will not be discouraged.
 I will not be.
 I will not.

 Catholics teach that when we get to Heaven, God will explain everything.

toon stolen from Marty's BartCop E!

 I saw a story in Friday's USA Today saying Lieberman will not
 run against Al Gore in the 2004 primaries for president, out of loyalty.

 Hey, Joe, I have a thunderbolt for you:
 The only way you'll ever be president is if the president dies in office.

 You were chosen by Gore as a way for him to distance himself from Clinton,
 which was the biggest Democratic blunder since Dukakis climbed in that tank.

Bob Woodward's Pinnochio Problem
  as seen on Mediawhoresonline.com

 Click  Here

 A quick look at the record of President Clinton's TV interviews alone -- not accounting
 for many times that amount for print outlets, including several with the Washington Post,
 and, of course, a lengthy interview with Mr. "Woody" Amnesia himself -- shows that
 Bob Woodward's claim that Clinton never gave lengthy interviews is absurd.

 10 cents a minute - cheap.
 Send me $100, and I'll e-mail you a 800 number with a code
 that gives you one thousand minutes of anytime long distance.

 If you want in, PayPal me at  bartcop@bartcop.com  or snail mail $100 to
 PO Box 54466, Tulsa, OK 74155  and put "Cheap long distance" on your M.O..

 Make  bartcop.com  your long distance carrier.
 You save money and the treehouse gets a nickle.

 Does anyone know of a mail program
 that can handle a lot of mail?

  I seem to have outgrown Eudora, and forget virus-king Microsoft Express.
  Money is no object - I have to have a reliable mail system to stay alive,
  but if I pay for mail, the damn thing had better work.


  Day TEN of the idiotic "Bush Doctrine" in the Middle East

 Sharon Defies Bush
  US President seen as pitifully clueless

 The Bush boy:  Withdraw immediately! Stop the suicide bombs.

 Sharon: Go away, boy, you bother me...
  Arafat:  ÊÏì ÇáÍæÇÑ, little smirking boy

 Today in History

 In 1912, the Titanic sank in the North Atlantic less than three hours after striking an iceberg.
 The captain, Wilson H. Bush III, blamed the previous captain for everything and the whore
 press agreed and vilified former captain Robert G Clinton for causing the ship to hit the iceberg.

 In 1945, during World War II, British and Canadian troops liberated the Nazi concentration
 camp Bergen-Belsen. Some forty years later, an extremely stupid president named Reagan
 would lay a wreath in Bitburg, Germany to "honor" the murdering bastards.

 When asked why he would honor mass-murdering scum like the Nazi's, the most powerful man
 on the planet said, "It was a cloudy day and we must've misread the cemetary sign,"
 and the whore press said that was a damn good answer and excused the whole thing.
 The press has always covered for the crimes and idiocies of the right wing.

 ...and when a real president came along and saved us from Reagan's voodoo economics
 and gave us eight years of peace and prosperity, the who, the whore press was paid to crucified him.

 We rented Mulholland Drive yesterday.
 Don't worry about spoilers, you'll need all the spoilers you can get.

 I have no idea what happened in this movie.
 One thing that drove me crazy was early in the film, there's a lot of dead air.
 A guy will say "Good morning," to someone, ...and then 60 seconds will go by,
 and then the other guys answers, "Good morning," back to him.
 Then another 60 seconds goes by, and the first guy says, "Nice weather,"
 and then 60 seconds later, the second guy says, "Sure is."
 For a fast-moving ADD victim, this drove me crazy - but there was redemption.

 My best guess, which ain't much, is that most of the movie is someone dreaming,
 because 2/3 of the way thru, everybody changes. The good guys turn evil and
 the bad guys turn nice - or something like that. So if you can figure out who woke up,
 you might be able to figure out what the dreams meant.

 I've read the reviews, and they all said "Huh?"

 Lots of cameos, but the credits were written in a 2 font, so I missed most of them.
 Robert Forester was good for about ten words, fewer for Dan Hedaya   I saw Mena
 Suvari deep undercover makeup and wig as a fifties singer, and Missy Crider had 15
 seconds as a waitress, and of course, Lynch's backwards-talking midget played ...a midget.

 Towards the end, there's a totally hot lesbian scene between newcomer
 Naomi Watts and nasty-dancing Laura Herring. This was even better than
 Wild Things with Neve Campbell and Denise Richards.
 For me, this redeemed the movie. Lynch is a true pervert, like all men.
 I don't know what it is with men and lesbians, but show me a man who doesn't
 enjoy two attactive women making out and I'll show you a Catholic priest.

 So if anyone has a clue what this movie's about, please write.


 I'm a big Lynch fan, but I remain clueless, as always.

Shopping online?
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com  a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.

Search Now:
In Association with Amazon.com

 Read the  Previous Issue

 It had  everything.

 Copyright © 2002, bartcop.com

 Shirley  Manson - contact bartcop.com

Privacy Policy
. .