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Weilding a part-time hammer in a full-time war.
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FINE TEQUILA - OUTRAGE
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Julie Hiatt Steele
"To contend that (Miguel) Estrada, a young
attorney with no judicial
experience, is the only Hispanic who could be a nominee to a potential
vacancy on the Supreme Court does a disservice to the many outstanding
Hispanic judges serving in our federal and state courts."
-- Patrick Leahy, explaining how Clarence Thomas got his job, too
Real David Brock
by Christopher Hitchens - he hates more people than Maureen Dowd
"As someone who despised Clinton from the very first, I remember resenting the damage done
by hysterical and fabricated right-wing attacks, which bought him time and sympathy. Anyone really
interested in this period should grab the paperback version of Michael Isikoff's Uncovering Clinton,
a verifiable story told by a serious journalist, who began by disbelieving the rumors and discovered
by honest exertion that many of them, and some that had not even been suspected, were true."
So many questions:
1 - Why do people say Hitchens is a liberal? He's in bed with Rush on every issue,
yet he's always refered to as "a leftist." If he's a leftist, why is he always apologizing
for the right-wing fringe of the Republican Looney Squad?
2 - Why would a once-proud magazine like The Nation hire this whore?
For the same reasons Salon hired David Horowitz?
3 - Who would call Michael Isikoff "a serious journalist" when he accepted $600,00
to write untrue books that he knows are false from the get-go?
4 - One of Hitchens strongest attacks against Brock is that he got the date wrong
for the wedding of Barbara and Ted Olson. That means Brock's book is unreliable?
5 - Who ever heard of Spikey Isikoff's book, anyway?
toon from Tom Tomorrow
"The vast left-wing conspiracy."
This is not funny
It was sent to me as a picture if Jesse Helms falling out of bed
during his last hospital stay.
The collar is to prevent him from chewing on his stitches, like one of Marty E!'s dogs,
but remember, it's not funny.
Some fund raising ideas, some nutty, some not...
We need to raise some funds to make the pie higher.
The ultimate goal would be to raise enough money to where bartcop.com would be
full-time instead of part-time. Lofty goal, to be sure, but a worthy one.
If I didn't have a boss from 9-6, we could do BartCop
and I could visit with my good friends such as Mike Malloy.
I'm semi-almost flirting with the idea of an all-subscription
but we want to avoid that if we can. I asked some of my closest advisors
and inner-circle people for alternatives and got a wide variety of suggestions.
1. Open a 900 number
That way, people could call and hear my rat-like voice.
We could discuss political issues, fine tequila, Garbage, Las Vegas etc.
Ditto-monkeys could call, too, if they don't mind paying for the red-ass.
I think this might work for a couple of weeks, but then the "thrill"
of talking to Ol' Bart would wear off and we'd let it die.
2. Non-mandatory billing
One fella, Eddy, contributes large sums, but he said it's such a hassle and he
said forgets to do it, so he suggested I use PayPal to "bill him" each month.
I tried to find fault with this idea, but was unsuccessful.
If YOU want to get involved with a non-mandatory
contact me at email@example.com with the amount you want to donate.
Thanks to Eddy for the suggestion.(Vette for Eddy if this catches on)
3. Sell nude pictures of BartCop
This was my least favorite.
4. A three-tier bartcop.com
We could have BartCop Silver, BartCop Reposado and BartCop Anejo.
The trick would be figuring out what the hell those three tiers represent.
5. Sell heroin and cocaine
There's a lot of money in that white powder, but our judges and police contacts
would run for cover if we got away from the numbers and prostitution rackets.
6. Remind people that you help keep them sane in tough times.
BartCop Mental Health Associates Inc., coming to your town soon.
We will continue to take suggestions on how to raise enough money
to make bartcop.com a full-time hammer in a full-time war
nominations without DeLay
By Christian Livemore
BartCop Stock Tips
I suggest you get bullish real quick on the Land 'o Lakes
Their "Extra Creamy" butter is the best and it's only 45 days until corn season
You newer readers think I obsess over Shirley,
Las Vegas and South's
then just wait until corn season gets her at the end of June. I think that's how
got started - during a corn-induced hallucination I was having last summer.
Merit Calico Silver Queen
Hold on, I have to get a paper towel and wipe my drool.
Please, Mr. Time, can't you go any faster?
Subject: things we wonder about
Why does bush always go to second and third grade school kids to read to them?
Why not junior high or high school to disgusted
important issues of the day?
Jenny, it's not nice to tease the governor that way.
You know he can't talk politics with middle grade students.
He has to stick with the toddlers to increase his odds
of being one of the smarter kids in the class.
Shame on you for teasing the governor
Subject: Possible end of BartCop Sports?
I have not updated recently because I have been
sick, and just a couple of days ago, lost my job.
As you can imagine, my motivation is gone, and the money will soon follow. As such, I really can't
do Sports anymore.
Would you announce that I am looking into having someone take the place over?
Costs $15 a month to keep on the server where
it is now.
If I hear nothing in a couple of weeks, I'm just going to deep-six the place,
which would suck, but that's how it is.
Thanks, and good work with Juliefest.
Well, Sports Fans, can anyone step in and take over?
Is there enough interest in sports to keep sports alive?
If you're rabid about sports and know html and have $15 a month,
contact firstname.lastname@example.org and apply for the job.
Since it's your $15, it's your page and you can advertise or whatever to
recoup the $15, but we need a rabid sports fan to permanantly pinch-hit!
We can't let fade away!
on Chinaco Anejo!
I know a lot of people at Juliefest2002-DC tried and liked The Miracle at Canaan,
but did you know you can have it delivered for $45?
...another reason to read bartcop.com
A Success, King of Israel Takes "Full Credit"
by Stephen Sacco
Swear to Koresh, this is no gag, I heard it myself.
Paul Harvey, aging horse molester, said this on today's rant of lies:
"The morning after pill has been around for
four years now,
and Bose has a new radio that makes waking up almost a dream."
I suspect our local Nazi radio had an editing screwup,
but I doubt the Bose people enjoy having their product
mentioned in the same sentence as a do-it-yourself abortion.
When it comes to speakers,
don't choose Bose,
cause you'll get no highs
and you'll get no lows.
They're free with a minimum donation of $23.95, which covers
Every penny goes to Julie ('cept the 3.95 priority postage)
The shirt says:
She's Steele the One
Send check/M.O. to bartcop.com PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155
PayPal to email@example.com
shirts only come in thousand dollar increments.
Once they're gone - they're gone. Don't wait to place your order.
Is The Sopranos ever coming back?
You might take a minute and visit Lori at falloutshelternews.com
Anyone who's against Field Marshall Ashcroft is our friend, right?
Stay connected with
This week's special: 200 minutes for only $20.82
We're trying to raise funds to increase the size of the hammer.
If you think bartcop.com has too much influence on politics, send no money.
But if you think we need more bartcop.com you're invited to help take our country back
Let's expose and ridicule the Unelected Fraud from now until November 2004
Consider a few alms for a struggling website.
or you can snail mail
to bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155
Today in History
In 1917, three peasant children near Fatima, Portugal,
reported seeing the Virgin Mary.
Mary gave the kids a super secret to give to the Pope, who then "pulled a Rush" and
claimed after World War II that the Secret of Fatima was that World War II was coming.
In 1958, VP Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks thrown
by anti-U.S. demonstrators
in Caracas, Venezuela. Forty four years later, Governor Bush seeks revenge by backing
an illegal coup against Venezuela's lawfully-elected President. (The coup failed.)
In 1985, a confrontation between Philly cops and the radical
group MOVE ended when
police bombed the group's headquarters where 11 people died. The right-wing fans of
Randy Weaver and David Koresh didn't mind because the dead people were negroes.
In 1997, at the OKC bombing trial, prosecutors showed jurors
the key to the truck used to
blow up the Murrah federal building, alleging Tim "Government is the problem" McVeigh
left it behind in the same alley he'd picked to stash his getaway car.
Happy Birthday to The Wolf, Harvey Keitel (63). If you
accidentally blow a friend's
brains out in the back seat of your car, call The Wolf - he knows what to do.
Sidebar: Do NOT drive the body to QT's house, because that's not his business.
Use the portal below and they'll throw bartcop.com a nickel and
it costs you nothing more than whatever you were going to pay.
Read the Previous Issue
It had everything.
© 2002, bartcop.com
The World is Not Enough