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Weilding a part-time hammer in a full-time war.



Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Return - Poker at Al's

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media


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Volume 791 - Like a Giant Juggernaut


 May 13, 2002 


"To contend that (Miguel) Estrada, a young attorney with no judicial
   experience, is the only Hispanic who could be a nominee to a potential
   vacancy on the Supreme Court does a disservice to the many outstanding
   Hispanic judges serving in our federal and state courts."
    --  Patrick Leahy, explaining how Clarence Thomas got his job, too

 The Real David Brock
   by Christopher Hitchens - he hates more people than Maureen Dowd

  Click  Here

"As someone who despised Clinton from the very first, I remember resenting the damage done
 by hysterical and fabricated right-wing attacks, which bought him time and sympathy. Anyone really
 interested in this period should grab the paperback version of Michael Isikoff's Uncovering Clinton,
 a verifiable story told by a serious journalist, who began by disbelieving the rumors and discovered
 by honest exertion that many of them, and some that had not even been suspected, were true."

 So many questions:
 1 - Why do people say Hitchens is a liberal? He's in bed with Rush on every issue,
       yet he's always refered to as "a leftist." If he's a leftist, why is he always apologizing
       for the right-wing fringe of the Republican Looney Squad?
 2 - Why would a once-proud magazine like The Nation hire this whore?
       For the same reasons Salon hired David Horowitz?
 3 - Who would call Michael Isikoff "a serious journalist" when he accepted $600,00
       to write untrue books that he knows are false from the get-go?
 4 - One of Hitchens strongest attacks against Brock is that he got the date wrong
       for the wedding of Barbara and Ted Olson. That means Brock's book is unreliable?
 5 - Who ever heard of Spikey Isikoff's book, anyway?

 Excellent toon from Tom Tomorrow
  "The vast left-wing conspiracy."

  Click  Here

 This is not funny

 It was sent to me as a picture if Jesse Helms falling out of bed during his last hospital stay.
 The collar is to prevent him from chewing on his stitches, like one of  Marty E!'s dogs,
 but remember, it's not funny.

 Some fund raising ideas, some nutty, some not...

 We need to raise some funds to make the pie higher.
 The ultimate goal would be to raise enough money to where bartcop.com  would be
 full-time instead of part-time.  Lofty goal, to be sure, but a worthy one.

 If I didn't have a boss from 9-6, we could do BartCop Radio
 and I could visit with my good friends such as Mike Malloy.

 I'm semi-almost flirting with the idea of an all-subscription bartcop.com
 but we want to avoid that if we can.  I asked some of my closest advisors
 and inner-circle people for alternatives and got a wide variety of suggestions.

 1. Open a 900 number
      That way, people could call and hear my rat-like voice.
     We could discuss political issues, fine tequila, Garbage, Las Vegas etc.
      Ditto-monkeys could call, too, if they don't mind paying for the red-ass.
      I think this might work for a couple of weeks, but then the "thrill"
      of talking to Ol' Bart would wear off and we'd let it die.

 2. Non-mandatory billing
     One fella, Eddy, contributes large sums, but he said it's such a hassle and he
     said forgets to do it, so he suggested I use PayPal to "bill him" each month.
     I tried to find fault with this idea, but was unsuccessful.

     If YOU want to get involved with a non-mandatory monthly donation,
     contact me at bc_biz@yahoo.com  with the amount you want to donate.
     Thanks to Eddy for the suggestion.(Vette for Eddy if this catches on)

 3. Sell nude pictures of BartCop
     This was my least favorite.

 4. A three-tier  bartcop.com
     We could have BartCop Silver, BartCop Reposado and BartCop Anejo.
     The trick would be figuring out what the hell those three tiers represent.

 5. Sell heroin and cocaine
     There's a lot of money in that white powder, but our judges and police contacts
     would run for cover if we got away from the numbers and prostitution rackets.

 6. Remind people that you help keep them sane in tough times.
     BartCop Mental Health Associates Inc., coming to your town soon.

  We will continue to take suggestions on how to raise enough money
   to make  bartcop.com  a full-time hammer in a full-time war

Judicial nominations without DeLay
    By Christian Livemore

  Click  Here

 BartCop Stock Tips

 I suggest you get bullish real quick on the Land 'o Lakes company.
 Their "Extra Creamy" butter is the best and it's only 45 days until corn season

 You newer readers think I obsess over Shirley, Chinaco, Las Vegas and South's Finest Chocolate,
 then just wait until corn season gets her at the end of June.  I think that's how 
 got started - during a corn-induced hallucination I was having last summer.

       Merit                     Calico                Silver Queen

 Hold on, I have to get a paper towel and wipe my drool.

 Please, Mr. Time, can't you go any faster?

 From: Jenyrabit

 Subject: things we wonder about

 Why does bush always go to second and third grade school kids to read to them?

 Why not junior high or high school to disgusted important issues of the day?

 Jenny, it's not nice to tease the governor that way.
 You know he can't talk politics with middle grade students.
 He has to stick with the toddlers to increase his odds
 of being one of the smarter kids in the class.

 Shame on you for teasing the governor

From: editor@bartcopsports.com

Subject:  Possible end of BartCop Sports?

I have not updated recently because I have been sick, and just a couple of days ago, lost my job.
As you can imagine, my motivation is gone, and the money will soon follow. As such, I really can't
do Sports anymore.

Would you announce that I am looking into having someone take the place over?

Costs $15 a month to keep on the server where it is now.
If I hear nothing in a couple of weeks, I'm just going to deep-six the place,
which would suck, but that's how it is.

Thanks, and good work with Juliefest.

Well, Sports Fans, can anyone step in and take over?
Is there enough interest in sports to keep sports alive?

If you're rabid about sports and know html and have $15 a month,
contact editor@bartcopsports.com and apply for the job.
Since it's your $15, it's your page and you can advertise or whatever to
recoup the $15, but we need a rabid sports fan to permanantly pinch-hit!

We can't let  fade away!

 Sale on Chinaco Anejo!
  I know a lot of people at Juliefest2002-DC tried and liked The Miracle at Canaan,
  but did you know you can have it  delivered for $45?

    Click  Here

  ...another reason to read  bartcop.com

JulieFest A Success, King of Israel Takes "Full Credit"
  by Stephen Sacco

 Click  Here

 Swear to Koresh, this is no gag, I heard it myself.
 Paul Harvey, aging horse molester, said this on today's rant of lies:

"The morning after pill has been around for four years now,
  and Bose has a new radio that makes waking up almost a dream."

 I suspect our local Nazi radio had an editing screwup,
 but I doubt the Bose people enjoy having their product
 mentioned in the same sentence as a do-it-yourself abortion.

 ...and remember,

 When it comes to speakers,
 don't choose Bose,
 cause you'll get no highs
 and you'll get no lows.

 Juliefest2002-DC t-shirts

 They're free with a minimum donation of $23.95, which covers priority shipping.
 Every penny goes to Julie ('cept the 3.95 priority postage)
 The shirt says:

 She's Steele the One

 Send check/M.O. to  bartcop.com  PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155

  PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com

 Note:Juliefest2002-DC shirts only come in thousand dollar increments.
                Once they're gone - they're gone.  Don't wait to place your order.

 Is The Sopranos ever coming back?

 Don't forget

 You might take a minute and visit Lori at  falloutshelternews.com

 Anyone who's against Field Marshall Ashcroft is our friend, right?

 Stay connected with 
 This week's special: 200 minutes for only $20.82 

Judas Maximus

 We're trying to raise funds to increase the size of the hammer.
 If you think  bartcop.com  has too much influence on politics, send no money.
 But if you think we need more  bartcop.com  you're invited to help take our country back
 Let's expose and ridicule the Unelected Fraud from now until November 2004

 Consider a few alms for a struggling website.

 You can  or you can snail mail
  to bartcop.com PO Box 54466 Tulsa, OK 74155

 Today in History

 In 1917, three peasant children near Fatima, Portugal, reported seeing the Virgin Mary.
 Mary gave the kids a super secret to give to the Pope, who then "pulled a Rush" and
 claimed after World War II that the Secret of Fatima was that World War II was coming.

 In 1958, VP Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators
 in Caracas, Venezuela. Forty four years later, Governor Bush seeks revenge by backing
 an illegal coup against Venezuela's lawfully-elected President. (The coup failed.)

 In 1985, a confrontation between Philly cops and the radical group MOVE ended when
 police bombed the group's headquarters where 11 people died. The right-wing fans of
 Randy Weaver and David Koresh didn't mind because the dead people were negroes.

 In 1997, at the OKC bombing trial, prosecutors showed jurors the key to the truck used to
 blow up the Murrah federal building, alleging Tim "Government is the problem" McVeigh
 left it behind in the same alley he'd picked to stash his getaway car.

 Happy Birthday to The Wolf, Harvey Keitel (63). If you accidentally blow a friend's
 brains out in the back seat of your car, call The Wolf - he knows what to do.
 Sidebar: Do NOT drive the body to QT's house, because that's not his business.

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