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Volume 829 - The Chimp goes to the Vet


Saturday    June 29, 2002 
 VCR Alert - Undecided about going to Las Vegas?
 TONIGHT on the Travel Channel.(all times Central)
 Vegas: Beating the Odds  Jun 29 07:00pm  How to win big in Las Vegas
 The Pro's Guide to Vegas Jun 29 08:00pm  Pros tell secrets of getting ``comps''
 High Rollers                      Jun 29 09:00pm   Las Vegas big-time gamblers.
 One of these (maybe all three) is hosted by Penn & Teller.
 If you watch these shows you will get Vegas Fever BIG-time,


"Wow! I guess he wasn't kidding when he said
   he'd go to any length to find bin Laden!"
     --Craig Kilborn, on Bush's colonoscopy

  F-U nation

  Click  Here

 America has become not just a gun nation, a TV nation, a Ritalin and Prozac nation,
 an obese nation, and a remedial nation, it has also become a rogue nation. In brand as
 in empire, America has become the ultimate menace the superego state that says
 Fuck You to any nation that stands in the way of its state and corporate interests.
 And it manages to get away with it.

 Just two years ago, we had the respect of every civilized country, but they wondered
 why we spent eight years torturing the man who saved the American economy.

 But The Bastard stole our right to vote and his Daddy's friends appointed him king
 and now we are hated all over the globe - and for good reason.

 Like a mob torch, Bush told the Taliban to accept his offer for a pipeline or
 he would send the American military after them, so the Taliban struck first.

 The stupidest president in history is also the most crooked.

Subject: Cheney to Jail?

President Bush wants corporate leaders who cook the books to go to jail
as the government rolls out measures to restore investor confidence in the
wake of the WorldCom accounting scandal.

Does this mean Cheney might finally get some Jail time?


 Terror was low priority before September 11
   by Ted Bridis at Salon.com

   Click  Here

 Bush's national security leadership met formally nearly 100 times in the months prior to
 the Sept. 11 attacks yet terrorism was the topic during only two of those sessions, officials say.

 Critics said the low number of terrorism meetings by the most senior members of the security
 council indicated the administration's priorities were elsewhere.

 Well of course they weren't concerned with terrorism.
 Ashcroft was busy fighting dying people with pot in Oregon, Cheney was covering his tracks
 after illegally selling Iraq oil field equipment at Halliburton (not that the press would print it)
 and Bunnypants was busy with his precious tax cut.   NOBODY was doing their job.

 This gang of hundred-millionaires didn't steal the White House so they could help everyday Americans.
 They stole power so they could become hundred-billionaires.

 Watch what you say...
  From a discussion board at Demo Underground

> It was just one agent, and he had come to ask me about statements I had made on the Fidonet.

> Apparently, my constant referring to Bush as "Crusader Bunnypants," Ashcroft as "Gestapo Chief Ashcroft,"
> and my raising doubts about the Bin Laden video so pissed off a "conservative" on Fidonet that he contacted the FBI.

> I told the agent I was going to continue being sarcastic and nasty in my descriptions of the Bush League.
> I mean, Ashcroft hasn't repealed the 1rst amendment. (Yet)

 Illegal speech again?
 We need to round up these malcontents
 and send these evildoers to Gitmo.
 My boys know how to "extract information."
 With Jesus Christ as my personal savior, I vow
 to clean up America and make it safe again for
 Christians, gun owners and white people.
 I need a chopper over to Demo Underground
 to help clean up some illegal speech.

 Subject:Cheney will be acting president while Bush is sedated

 There will be a tremendous, although temporary, spike in the average intelligence of the administration.


 Name One Thing
   by The Daily Brew

  Click  Here

 High levels of tension create a desire for change, and the Bush administration
 has turned up the tension to obnoxious proportions. To win, Democrats have to
 turn that tension against Republicans. Don't point fingers, don't cast blame.
 Simply point out the facts. The Republicans have been running the show, and
 things have gotten worse. Be a sunny optimist. Offer the can-do spirit that we
 can make things better. Offer America a new direction, and they will take it.

Dear Bart,

"One nation, under God..."

Let's be honest. The vast majority of those representatives and senators that are currently
howling about the 9th Circuit ruling -- Repugnikans AND Pink Tutus alike -- don't give a
flying rat's ass about the Pledge. They are posturing and strutting around like Peacocks for Jesus
in a display of blatant, shameless and obscene pandering to Americans who wouldn't have the
first clue what is in their own Constitution if it bit them on the ass.

Yes! Exactly!

Instead of leading and educating those they are supposed to represent, they play to the ignorance
of a complacent and pathetically uninformed populace. A populace so ignorant to the nature and
principles of their own democracy, that without a good meaty whack in the head with a baseball bat,
they'd never figure out on their own that the whole church/state separation idea was designed primarily
to keep government out of religion as well as religion out of government.

Karl E

Karl, that's what I would've said if I was a better writer.
The Democrats know that phrase doesn't belong in there, but they're so damn afraid
they'll be called "godless" if they uphold the constitution that they've sworn to uphold.

I'd like to buy you a drink.
Are you going to Vegas in September?

 The Who to resume tour

 The two surviving members of The Who will carry on with their tour
 despite the death of John Entwistle, the group said Friday.

 In a surprise announcement, Daltrey and Townshend said the tour
 would open on Monday at the Hollywood Bowl "as a tribute to
 John Entwistle and to the loss of an irreplaceable friend."
 The Las Vegas date will be played later in the tour.


Looks like the ol' barcop hex has prevailed again.  This AP report states that Salon is blubbering
that it is down to it's last $1.5 million and only has enough cash to keep their sinking blog afloat for
another 3 or 4 months.   Boo, hoo, hoo.  If they'd stuck to their original liberal principles instead
of turning whore, maybe they could've been spared the frighteningly powerful magic known as
the bartcop hex.  Let that be a warning to anyone else thinking of prostituting themselves to the
dark side of conservative hypocrisy and whoredom.

Keep smashing them in the mouth bart.  Begala and Carville have already proven that the bullies
have glass chins and when unable to cheat they turn their yellow tails and run for cover.
You along with Buzzflash, MWO, AmPol and a few uncorrupted others are the frontline defense
against the fascist pigs.

Hope to make JulieFest West in Vegas in September - - (I'm just a 4 hour drive away
and would like to pay my respects to a true American hero - - as well as to yourself).


We'd enjoy meeting you.

Subject: J-Fest Video


Well, I finally got a chance to watch the JulieFest video.

It's magnetic poetry, man.  Kent reached into that box called West 24,
filled with 200 different stories, shuffled 'em around, and created a masterpiece.

I feel like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future.
I got to go back and see something I already experienced from a totally different angle.


And the kicker is, I didn't come across nearly as drunk on tape as I thought I would...

Joe S

  Bush forgets to feed his good puppies
 Press angered over isolation at summit

  Click  Here

"This has been, without a doubt, the worst-run event in my experience," said a veteran
 White House reporter who asked not to be named.*"The credibility of this administration
 has gone right down the tubes with this fiasco, and I venture to say they will pay mightily
 for their shabby treatment of the U.S. media, whose job it is to deliver to the American
 people the policies of their own government."

 ha ha
 What a clumsy lie
 The job of the press isn't to deliver news.
 Their job is to make more money than they made yesterday.
 That's all they do - chase dollars inside of Clinton's zipper.

 *Good thing this "unnamed reporter" wasn't talking to Salon's whore Jennifer Liberto.

    Hi, I'm Jennifer Liberto.
 I'll do anything for a story.

Ruck Fush mugs!

Click to order
That jerk at the office who worships Rush?
Drink your coffee from this mug - that'll teach him!

 BIG update on Party of the Year at The Rio

  Click on the Rio for the JFW Kickoff

 If you thought Julie Hiatt Steele was hell in a witness box,
 wait till you see her party!

 September 27-29th - tickets on sale!

 Drinks, gambling, Democrats and Julie Hiatt Steele.
 John Ashcroft will have a cow.

Subject: Your praying to Mohammad rant

Let me tell you this... your first statement on that is invalid because not even the 'peaceloving'
Muslims pray to Mohammad. He, to them, is a prophet. But, to all sensible people, he is a liar
with a thing for little girls. Jesus loved the little children, but he didn't do anything that the
Roman Catholic clergy or Mohammad did.

Your whole thing is just plain flawed logic, because the passage in the Pledge doesn't endorse
a specific religion. Every religion has a God. But, both Christianity and Judaism use the term
'God' for their God. The Constitution says this..

One nation under Buddha.. Buddha isn't a Deity.

In conclusion, I feel that "Under God" is stretching it and Schools
should choose if they keep it in or not. Not the Government.

To conclude. The decision was wrong, Under God is not unconstitutional.
But, that point is moot, America is not "Under God". We're "Under P.C. Censorship".

Did I duck any questions? or will you just cut up my e-mail and post it?


I've gotten a TON of mail saying "Mohammed isn't God."

I don't care, and that was never the point.
Who are you to tell me Mohammed isn't a diety?

If I want to pray to the sun, or a damn rattlesnake or the Number 7, then I will.
I don't need you or anyone to tell me those aren't "real" Gods.

You're like the others - you won't allow freedom of religion.
You want me to "straighten up and follow the REAL God" - your God, of course,
because that makes you feel more secure with your particular choice of ghosts.

And if you had kept your note short, I wouldn't have to "cut it up and post it."


 There's a rumor going around that the reason The Rio was chosen
 is because they win "cutest cocktail waitress costumes" every year.

 This is not true, and had no bearing on the decision to choose The Rio.

 Whoever heard of grown men making decisions based on trivial sex matters?

Subject: MeatMan42

Hi Bart,

I don't think that it is fair of you publish Todd Hyle's email address with his comments on the site today.
This makes it look like you are trying to "pay back" anyone who disagree with you, by having his negative
comments "follow him" via the search engines.  This is the same tactic that I see used often by assholes like
Ron Arnold (www.cdfe.org) - who not only did this to me for voicing my opinion on his web site, he tried
to get me fired by my employer because I stupidly used my company email account to tell him what a prick he was.

... unless you are trying to silence any negative criticism.


I used to publish everyone's e-mail address, but my stalkers starting harrassing contributors
by bombarding them with dozens of senseless e-mails and vulgar cartoons.
Now, I just post addresses of brain-dead ditto-monkeys.

That way, the stalkers who live and breathe  bartcop.com  every moment of their lives
can get together and have a giant circle jerk while chanting my name.

 Join the BartCop writing team
 Koresh knows it's hard to come up with a new topic every day.

  Click for Details

 Click to be a Corona  BartCop writer for $10 a month

 Click to be a Chinaco Silver  Mark Twain writer for $25 a month.

 Click to be a Chinaco Reposado  Richard Pryor writer for $50 a month

 Join today!

 They read it in Pangnirtung.
 They read it in Seville
 They read it in Pensacola, where the beaches are white sand.


  to Julie Hiatt Steele

 If you can't send any pence,
 could you send her a nice note?

Subject: Vegas Bound


I suppose the place to start is to thank you for your terrific website.  Thanks.

Now that we've got that out of the way, count me in for JuliefestWest.
I made my plane reservations today ($175 r/t out of KC), and will make my hotel reservations shortly.
You could not have picked a better site.  I've stayed at the Rio on multiple occasions and have thoroughly
enjoyed each visit.  To say that I'm looking forward to meeting two of my heroes (well technically, one hero
and one heroine) would be akin to saying John Ashcroft is a slightly right of center (I voted for the dead guy).

See you in Vegas.


 BartCop, ...come to Vegas!
 BartCop, Vegas is calling you.
 BartCop, over 90 different tequilas at the Hard Rock.....
 BartCop, ...BartCop...

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