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Twins on a Short Leash This Weekend
Can they go 48 hours without liquor, drugs or sex?
"We should let that family deal with the problems that most families in America have had to deal with
without the scrutiny of the American public," said Ari Fliesher on Fox Whore Sunday.
Hey, Ari, you can go right to hell.
When the Clinton's had a little bump in their marriage, you pricks made it a three-year Jihad.
You called it a "constitutional crisis" and screamed, "The flag is falling."
Guess what, Ari...
You guys stole your way into power and this is what you created.
Suck on it.
"I wish Tim would stop whining and just
take it like a man."
-- The needle, ...as heard on the Jim Rhome Show
Brain-dead 'Survivor' may run for office
He wasn't smart enough to fall away from the campfire, but Michael
Skupin thinks he's smart enough
to represent Cro-Mags in the Senate. Skupin, 39, left the CBS-TV reality show Survivor: Australia
with the skin melting off his hands after falling into the fire, instead of away from it.
Now he's considering politics. "I'm giving it a lot of thought," he
said Thursday at the annual
Governor's Gala in Livonia, Michigan where he and Smirk staffer Andy Card, were guests of honor.
"If I could do it and really make a difference, I would do it." Skupin
said he and his wife, Peni,
are fascists, but they haven't actually attacked any blacks or gays.
From: Tamara Baker
Subject: Don't change a thing, Bartcop
You da man.
I don't always agree with everything you say, but, hey, it's a free country -- or was, until December 8th of last year.
I liked your "Artcop" interlude, and your shots
of NYC. (I went and looked at a book of VVG's paintings,
by the way, after seeing your VanGogh tribute. Neat stuff. And your descriptions of his art are just the sort
of thing to introduce VVG to a larger audience than the wine-and-cheese set.)
The folks who've been reading you awhile know
(or they SHOULD) you by now.
They shouldn't let their undies get twisted just because you and they aren't lockstep.
By the way: all you Bono dissers out there:
Sorry, the rumors that Nazi-boy Nugent spread are false;
listening to U2 won't make your penis fall off. It might make your IQ grow, but hey, that's a risk we all gotta take.
I myself haven't liked much U2 since their first
three LPs -- which were masterpieces -- but they don't deserve
to be shat on by ignorant xenophobic dorks who think their penises will fall off if they listen to anything besides
Metallica or Tool or Lover Boy. If you can think of a legit reason to criticize the lads, fine. But don't go all f
lipping Maureen Dowd and bash them for what they didn't do.
American Politics Journal
First hour Monday, Rush is spitting and ranting about what a terrible place Europe is.
"It's a nanny state. They have free health
care and ten weeks a year vacation and high taxes.
The horror stories are all over the place."
Translated, it means, "What's the advantage
of being rich and white if the poor
and the darkies have the same lifestyle at whitey?"
Subject: Re: #Tequila Twins on a Short Leash This Weekend
>And they have two teen-age daughters who are wonderful, just really good kids.
Meaning what? that the 2 law breakers are... white?
What makes them "good kids?"
If I had to bet, based on what I've seen of them
and their family background--
Nazi sympathizers during WW II, crooks, bank swindlers, corrupt pols, at least one murderer...
-- I'd bet they are the Bad Seed and that they will both come to horrible ends and cause a lot
of grief all through their lives. They are crying out for punishment.
"Finally, some good news on the Bush girls.
It seems that Jenna Bush is taking up a new musical instrument.
She's learning how to play the Breathalyzer."
Subject: The Bush Brats
I just turned 20 a couple of weeks ago and I am
so tired of hearing everyone making excuses
for her with "everyone drank at 19". I actually heard people say this on CNN, what the hell is going on?
First of all, while I did drink, not everyone
does. Second of all, the five times I did
I was in my apartment or my friend's apartment. I didn't do it brazenly in public nor
did I try to compound misdemeanors by using a fake i.d. The point people are missing
is that it's not necessary what she did, it's how and how frequent.Instead of blaming Chuy's
(I've heard that the Freepers website has published the name address and information
on the baby of the waitress that called the cops on them) or the other Austin bar, why aren't
they not taking a deeper look at the root of the problem? The ubiquitous Bush press pass, right?
And if the excuse that "everyone did it" is a
viable one, then why was the fact that Clinton
smoked a joint back in the 60s/70s such a big ass deal?
From my understanding of the that time period,
that's the least drugs someone could have done.
Especially considering Prince George was a coke fiend.
Ali, good point.
When I commit a crime, it's rarely in front of witnesses.
It was the Republican Party that decided politicians had no private life and no secrets.
Like I've said 100 times, they knew this would come back to haunt them
but they wanted inside Clinton's zipper so bad they just couldn't stop themselves.
When I think of Hardon Kenny going thru Hillary's underwear drawer,
the son of a bitch no doubt sniffing like Paulie Walnuts,
I tend to think the public record of the Tequila Twin's crimes isn't "overly invasive."
Subject: You're not sending that check to NPR, are you?
Everywhere the fashionably liberal people are
talking about NPR.
About the artsy programs, about history, life, and the like. Perhaps some send money too,
to do some good by funding "public" radio. I sent money too, till NPR started operating along
the right wing-to-irrelevant axis, and then danced at the funeral when they buried democracy.
So, where are the good people to send their money
They can't send it to NPR/PBS, that'll just finance the morning "news" magazine with it's bias and irrelevancies.
They can't give it to Salon, 'cause Salon will turn around and give it to Horowitz and Paglia.
What are they going to do, give it for another
They'd give it to the DNC, but then the Crisco kid'll come looking for them.
So, till BC (that'd be Bill Clinton, not BartCop)
sets up the fund to
give Hillary a promotion, they've got to send to to Bartcop.
Pretty clear, eh?
Maybe you can tell the lost souls this on the page, instead of just showing a GIF of Paypal.
I've written a few things like that, but they read so self-serving.
I wrote a thing a while back - just haven't published it yet.
Maybe this is the time.
Angie Harmon weds Jason Sehorn
DALLAS (AP) - Jason Sehorn and Angie Harmon got married, a little more
after he ambushed her with a proposal on Leno's show. The couple wed Saturday night
in her hometown church. The Dallas Morning Whore reported Sunday security was tight.
Jesse Martin and S. Epatha Merkerson, who starred with Harmon on "The
Angie Harmon Show,"
were also there. Harmon recently quit her show. The newlyweds plan to live in Dallas.
Thousands of Spainers* Protesters Slam Bush Visit
MADRID--Thousands of Spaniards marched
through Madrid Sunday to protest against a
visit by The Failure in Thief, who will kick off a tour of Europe with a one-day stay in the capital.
Security was tight as up to three thousand people blocked the streets,
according to police estimates. Protesters waved banners reading "Bush Go Home"
and chanted slogans ahead of the president's arrival Tuesday.
Among a wide-ranging list of complaints, demonstrators shunned embargoes against Cuba and Iraq,
U.S. missile defense plans, the death penalty and Bush's decision to reject the Kyoto global warming pact.
Tim McVeigh is scheduled to die just hours before Smirk embarks on his trip to Europe.
Carlo Acero, a member of a Spanish environmental group, joined the chorus of opposition to the death
penalty and Bush's stance on the environment. "I am here because of this imperialist president who
thinks the world is his garden... the world is bigger than the U.S.," he said.
A Skeptical Europe Awaits Bush on 5-Day Trip
Full Sad Story
PARIS, June 10 — Across Europe, there is little love of America's unelected president
and a growing perception that the United States, under his leadership, is looking out only
for itself these days — polluting the skies, breaking treaties and flirting with new arms races.
The German daily Süddeutsche Zeitung has
dubbed him "Bully Bush." As a character on the French
satirical puppet show, "Les Guignols de l'Info," he does not know who President Jacques Chirac is.
So when Mr. Bush arrives Tuesday in Spain, he
will from the very start have a lot of ground to
make up and will no doubt run up against more doubt, more skepticism and more anger than
the United States has attracted from its closest European friends in years.
Array of Prickly Issues Awaits the Prick in Europe
Weak & Stupid takes an unusually wide and prickly agenda with him to Europe this week, ranging from missiles to trade,
pollution to hormone-treated beef. U.S. commitment to a missile defense system, and U.S. rejection of the Kyoto global
warming pact, are the main points of friction between Washington and its European allies.
The affable Bush, a conservative Republican
with little international background who has made several policy stumbles
in his first five months in power, will meet NATO and European Union leaders as well as Russian President Vladimir Putin.
"TV Land - because life is too short
to watch crap."
-- Adam West, of all people, during the Dick Van Dyke marathon Sunday
by Jerry Politex
in Iran Face Reassessment of Reforms
BartCop-ism gets foothold in Iran by Neil MacFarquhar
CAIRO, June 10 — Supporters of President
Mohammad Khatami's attempts to create a freer, more
democratic Islamic republic in Iran said today that his overwhelming re-election victory should prompt his
conservative opponents to reassess their attempts to frustrate change.
"George Bush is an imbecile. I've got
this friend, Herb O'Brien, he's a smart guy.
Herb calls him Governor Bush because that is only office he was ever elected to.
And don't forget, Bush is second in line.
Something happens to Cheney -- bing -- this guy's the president."
Rackjite on Pickles Bush
Not Really Ill . . .
by Maureen Dowd
This may be the worst column ever by this hate-everybody
There's nothing here - no point to be made, and since she didn't call Hillary names
why did she even bother writing this?
Somebody tell me how she keeps her job.
Subject: BARTCOP LOVES JENNA BUSH!
Sorry, that subject line was just an attempt to get past the "screeners" (i.e. your 5000 e-mails per day).
Look: I'm not going to sit here like a jerkoff
threatening to never come back to your site.
I love your site. But still...
The first three articles of the day (06.10):
Ahnold Cheated on His Wife
Secret Service Helps Jenna
This is CRAP.
This is exactly the same sort of shit that fed
the Repug Machine for eight years.
Believe me, we have better things to talk about.
I know you like to keep your site humorous.
Is there a shortage of humor in talking about the policies Shrub is trying to pass?
Is there a shortage of humor in the hypocrisy of Lott trying to guarantee
Safe Passage for His Illegitimacy's judicial nominees?
Is there a shortage of humor regarding (P)resident Cheney's Energy "Plan"?
You are wasting your time on tabloid garbage.
Please! Get back to work.
You are smarter and better than that.
-Joe "Toast" Santos
Joe, to quote the vulgar Pigboy, "I am not!"
For comedians, Jenna Bush is the hottest subject in America.
You think Jay and Dave and Bill should ease up, too?
You think it's time to play fair and do the honorable thing?
For nine years, we were forced to watch once-respected journalists drop
They went from a "two source" policy, to a "one source" policy then finally they
adopted a "fuck it - Drudge said so" policy just so they could fuck with Clinton.
After nine years of unfair treatment, you want me to play fair?
You ask too much.
Berry's Breasts Do Boffo Box Office
LOS ANGELES (AP) - Halle Berry's new thriller "Swordfish" hooked enough
movie-goers to debut
as the weekend's top film, earning $18.4 million. "Swordfish" was the premier for Ms. Berry's breasts.
Holding well, the animated "Shrek" retained the No. 2 spot with $17.1
"Pearl Harbor," the No. 1 film for two straight weekends, slipped to third place with $14.9 million.
The David Duchovny-Julianne Moore comedy "Evolution" debuted at No. 4 with $13.2 million.
"Atlantis" opens nationwide next weekend, along with "Tomb Raider," starring Angelina Jolie as video-game hero Lara Croft.
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It had everything.
Copyright © 2001,
Thanks for the fumble, Dude.