Fair & balanced


Evil is real
...and it must be impeached

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

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Volume 719 - Wicked Ways

Saturday     Feb. 16, 2002               Send Me an Angel                Recent old stuff               Shopping w/ Bart


 "Bless me Father,
   for the Repugs have sinned."
    -- Bruce Tobin

 To Protect Top Bureaucrats, NY Times SCRUBS Its OWN
 Osama Bin Laden Warning That It Published on 9-9-01
   from Democrats.com:

  Click  Here

 On 9-9-01 - just two days before Osama Bin Laden's attack on the US - the NY Times published a
 lengthy and chilling article about Osama Bin Laden by reporter John Burns. Some time after 9-11,
 the Times SCRUBBED this article, replacing it with a completely different article that Burns wrote on 9-12.
 Both articles discuss a 2-hour videotape by Bin Laden that intelligence agencies first saw in June 2001,
 but ignored until September.

 Why was the 9-9 article scrubbed? Read it yourself - we've UNSCRUBBED it.

 They're not thinking big enough
    by  Molly Ivins

  Click  Here

 Enron's tax practices are so common that the Center for Public Integrity estimates
 that they cost the country $195 billion a year, which means that the rest of us have to
 make up that missing tax money. That comes to $1,600 per taxpayer.

 Your very own stake in the Enron fiasco.

 Somebody else said this first, but it's worth repeating.

 Since 9-11, getting bin Laden has been America's most wanted since Hitler, probably,
 but the Bush administration hasn't been able to find him or kill him.

 Yet they STILL want to fault Clinton for not getting bin laden,
 and that's when the urgency was two percent of what it is today.

 Think about that.

 Whenever they say, "Clinton didn't try hard enough,"
 doesn't that mean Bush isn't trying hard enough, with 50 times the incentive?

 When the WTC came down, I had no reason to make any part of this war partisan. But then the
 GOP Hate machine cranked up their "Clinton's fault, Clinton's fault," mantra like they always do,
 so that makes the current accusation worth repeating:

 If Clinton didn't try hard enough before the WTC came down,
 what does that say about Bush's reluctance to arrest him today?


 I was kinda feeling down yesterday - you know - depression, ...stress, ...feelings of
 inadequacy and worthlessness, ...that kind of thing, ...I was having a real down day.

 But then I checked the mailbox.
 There was a fancy-ass letter in there from a law firm,
 "Oyster, Tey, Kubb, Beaver and Roth - Attorneys at Law"

 The clouds opened up and my spirits were lifted.
 "Somebody wants a piece of Ol' BartCop in court," I thought to myself.

 I ripped the envelope like Jenna Bush tearing the protective seal off a vodka bottle.
 I slowly unfolded the papers inside, slowly, to heighten the experience.
 I scanned the paper to see who had the balls to sue me.

 Would it be from Bill Bennett, "The Williams College rapist?"
 Would it be from Paul Harvey, who tricks horses into stanchions so he can molest them?
 Would it be from Ralph Reed, the monster who beats his baby for being scared?
 Would it be from that nasty leg-spreader Laura the Homewrecker?
 Would it be from the man some call president, King Smirk?
 Would it be from Gerbilboy himself, Rush the Truth Molester?

 How exciting!
 How much was I being sued for?

 ...a quarter million dollars?
 ...a half million dollars?
 ...a million dollars?
 ...ten million dollars?
 ...ten million dollars with a demand to never publish again?


 ...I read the letter and it wasn't a nasty lawsuit at all.
 It was from a  bartcop.com  reader who wanted some BartCop stickers.


 I thought SURE somebody wanted to see my Eugene Young impression.

 Damn, damn, damn.

 Will I never get sued?

From: roxtar1@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: It appears that all you're good at is name-calling

You can try and sweet talk me all you want there, Stalin.
But I seriously doubt that you'd be able to sway me over to your side of the aisle
because you're just sour, and offensive to even the most receptive people's sensibilities.

Dude, I didn't invite you into the chat room to sway you over to my side.
I invited you in to kick your ass,
then publish the transcript.

And sooner or later you'll find that calling women whores and men stupid aren't very good debate techniques.

If the women in question are whores and the men are stupid, I'll say so.

(do you at least have an A.A. from the local community college?)

I grew up in a Catholic POW camp.

You may get what YOU consider to be a large response from that pablum webpage that you run,
but I think upon further examination you'll find that those are people who have always been down
in the same hole that you are, (begin talking about my mother here)

I didn't know your mother was to be talked about - what did she do?
BTW, I'm not familiar with the word "pablum," so I looked it up.

Webster says "pablum" is a trademark for cereal.
Did you mean  "pabulum?"

...and have just found someone who "thinks" like they do, and (barely) knows HTML.
Any way keep dreamin' kickin' and screamin' I gotta go back to work so I can be overtaxed
and my wife can homeschool my kids.(begin calling my wife a whore here)


Jason, sorry, I didn't know your wife was a whore - that's gotta be tough on your self-esteem.
Do the kids know?

 Letters to the Tulsa World

 Enron execs deserve mob justice
 We have become too civilized. The Enron
 executives should be dragged kicking and
 screaming from their homes and severely
 beaten by the employees who were robbed
 of their retirement fund.


 Jobs in Tulsa are scarce
 To the people who have jobs in the Tulsa area:
 Do you know how fortunate you are?  Try finding
 a job nowadays, whether it be a common position,
 in the computer field or working as a cook in the
 school system. For every position open, which
 are few, 20 to 30 people are applying. Jobs in
 Tulsa are very scarce.


 Bush's legacy: wars, terror alarms
 As long as Bush is president, we are going to
 have wars and terrorist attack alerts. Sit back
 and fasten your seatbelt, because it's going to
 be a bumpy ride.

 The kicker?
 I didn't not write any of these pieces.

 That means there are others like me (well, not exactly) in Oklahoma.
 Who would've thought?

War and recession,
war and recession,
war and recession,
war and recession,
war and recession.

 Too bad nobody warned us this would happen
 if a Republican was elected appointed president.

From: critchmj@aramco.com.sa

Subject:: Rush and Laura


I sometimes listen to the Armed Forces Network (or whatever it's now called) over here in Saudi Arabia.
Each evening local time, the network has an hour of Rush followed by an hour of Laura Schlessinger.
Would you or any of your readers know if they are being  paid by the government for these broadcasts?
I would believe so, 'cause last September they went off the air for a few weeks at the end of the fiscal year.
If so how much?

Most of the other programming consists of NPR, state public radio, or military productions.
Are Rush & Laura being subsidized by the government?

Mike Critchley

Mike, I'm not sure if money is being exchanged, but I wouldn't be surprised.
As patriotic as Rush and Laura claim to be, they're whores first, then patriots.
But maybe they give a price break, who knows?

Let me tell you what that son-of-a-bitch Limbaugh used to do.
When we were in Kosovo, they always beamed his first hour to the boys in uniform.
So the vulgar Pigboy would wait until the second and third hours to ridicule the military.
He constantly called them "imcompetent boobs" and such, but never in the first hour.

But it makes sense for Rush & Laura to be on Armed Forces radio because,
by and large the military is made up of right-wing gun nuts, which is why I catch
so much hell for being a strong supporter of our soldiers.

These people would rather die under Bush than come home safely under Clinton and
that reasoning has yet to be adequately explained to me. If I had a kid in the service,
I'd rather he come home under Bush than die under Clinton - but that's just me.

Until the weak, stupid and greedy Usurperboy was appointed King, we had a really nice deal
going here in America with peace and prosperity.  But the right-wing wanted their precious tax cut,
so Scalia shoved the First Moron down our throats and now we're at war with a balooning deficit.

But in all the years I've been living, I've never seen a foreign-made tank roll down my street.
For that, I thank the military.

This Just In...

Asheville, NC - Stephen Sacco, who yesterday proclaimed Israel his homeland
and claimed that he had an ancestral right to all the land of Palestine,
has magnanimously offered the Israelis their very own state in the Gaza Strip.

He also has sent a letter to Palestinian Chairman Yassir Arafat offering him
the entire state of New Jersey for an independent Palestinian state.

Ariel Sharon commented, "If they get New Jersey, we want New York...
or at least the holiest of holies, Manhattan."

An unnamed State Department official (really terrible how his parents
didn't give him a name) said that, "Mr. Sacco, in and of himself, is an Axis of Idiocy!"

In an address Mr. Sacco wishes to deliver to the Knesset, the text is plain,
"You can run all the deli's in Jerusalem, also you can write for all the sitcoms.
 Other than that, you can do whatever you want in the Gaza strip.
 The rest I'm taking over in order to build a theme park."

Mr. Sacco can be reached at  smacco@earthlink.net

 Outcry in Nevada Over Nuke Waste

  Click  Here

 Bush pointed to national security and the need to support the nuclear industry
 as major reasons to push ahead with a nuclear waste dump in Nevada — one he
 said he is convinced is scientifically sound and should be built.

 The decision prompted an immediate outcry in Nevada where Democrats accused
 Bush of breaking a campaign promise not to saddle them with 77,000 tons of nuclear
 waste that will remain dangerous for 10,000 or more years.

 Wait a minute, wait a minute!

 Did you see how the AP writer phrased that?
 "Democrats accused Bush of breaking a campaign promise..."

 Hell, he either made the damn promise or he didn't.
 I don't have the time or resources to run down Bush speeches from 2000, but AP damn sure does.
 Why don't they run the paragraph from the speech where Bush promised and then say,
 "Bush broke his promise," if he did?

 They continue to cover for the stupid and clumsy liar.

 More outrage from Las Vegas  bartcop.com  reader Patricia S.

Please (please!) post something on Yucca Mountain.
We really need some help out here.
We're screwed if this goes through.

(Yes, I realize that it's "years away", but what you're not seeing in the "news" is that the pretzeldent has
"suggested" building a temporary above-ground "dump" right next to Yucca Mountain as an interim solution.
So "ten years away", my ass.  You just KNOW that "temporary dump" will be in place within a year.)

One idea my SO had was to try to convince Sen. John Ensign (R-NV, but still a newbie) and Gov. Kenny Guinn
(R-NV) to leave the repub party.  We're going to try to get a "movement" going here to get people to write
to him and try to make him see that this would be a major protest against YM.
If we can at least get Ensign to switch parties, it would deal a devastating blow to the republicans.

Anyway, we (the State of Nevada, Clark County and the City of Las Vegas) still have a couple of lawsuits
pending, and IIRC, we have Tom Daschle on our side as well as Dick Gephardt.  And we still have good old
Oscar Goodman, our Mayor, who promises to lay down in the road in front of the trucks.
You gotta love that guy :-)  (Most of us do; he's terrific.)

But we need more.

Anything you can post would be a huge help.  This one's serious.  I can't believe some idiot(s) thought it would
be a "good idea" (e.g., "sound science") to put this 90 miles from a population center of 1.4 million people.
I spent all day yesterday in a funk.  I just feel like we're doomed.

Patricia S.
Las Vegas, NV

Patricia, glad to do it.
That's MY city Bush is screwing with.
Radioactove tequila is no good for me.

The "Enterprise" incident

Did you see the most recent episode of "Enterprise?"
They stole an idea that I stole from them over a year ago.

Once, when  bartcop.com  was still in its infancy, we felt we were in a do-or-die situation.
So in November of 2000, after the whore Supreme Court rescinded our right to vote,
I asked for contributions for the first time to buy ads somewhere so we could get noticed.

There was some burnout and frustration, so we decided to mimic that classic Star Trek episode
where Spock, in command of the lost shuttle, jettisoned their remaining fuel to create a flare that
they hoped the Enterprise would see, therby effecting their rescue.

So that's what we did.
We sent every dime we had (I think Mrs BartCop threw in $200) to Salon.com  (this was before
Salon went so Fox News) to purchase some banners "in rotation" that many people couldn't find.
Well, we didn't set the world on fire but we did attract some influential movers and shakers
- the people who go e-mail crazy when something happens and here we are.

The Salon ad was very expensive - four figures - and it didn't seem worth it at the time
but we did grow in the 30 days after that, so they must've contributed.

(By comparison, you can advertise at  bartcop.com  for TWO figures, not four,
 and get a lot smarter reader in the process :)

This is one of those pieces that has no great ending, I just wanted to acknowledge that "flare" maneuver
for other struggling dot coms in case they feel like they're not making traction catching on with readers.

If you're tired of toiling away at your dot com and not growing,
let  bartcop.com  ignite your jettisoned fuel.

Click  Here

From: Tally Briggs


Sorry I missed your call babe!
I was actually ON LINE reading your page at home.....

The mirrors work GREAT!





Thanks to EVERYONE who came to my (and other's like me) rescue!
 I was having massive BC withdrawl, and felt as though I'd been cut off from the TRUTH!

Now, just keep you fingers crossed that the giant MATH FOR STUPID PEOPLE,
better known as the California Lottery, which is at a record high tonight of $183 million
(and climbing), turns out to be MINE!     Then we can start Bartcop Radio,
along with an independent newspaper that doesn't cater to any corporate master.

how cool would that be?


If you win, we'll do the BartCop/Briggs Comedy Show

Since this is in print, you're locked into that :)

Get your BartCop Stickers while they last.

Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to
PO Box 54466
Tulsa, OK 74155

Donation not required.

 Mail Bag

 Dear BartCop,

 Please send me about 5 stickers so that I can prove to the world
 that I have not ever had a Limbaughtomy.

 I love your site,

 Don Sims

 ...on their way, Don.

 The Afghan War and the Geneva Convention
  by David Friedrichs, military historian and Project 60 manager

 Click  Here

 This is part one of a four-part essay on the application of the Geneva Convention toward the Afghan War.
 The importance of this issue is that the Bush administration, by its complete misreading of international law
 has left the United States vulnerable to charges of war crimes. Our nation is better than that and those who
 supposedly lead us, should not act in criminal manners. Bush, Ashcroft and Rumsfeld have managed, in their
 ridiculous declaration regarding POWs in this war, to lay waste to any pretext we have to be the guardians
 of human rights in the world today.

 Flashback from January 19, 2001  Volume 385 - The Salon Issue

 How does it feel?

  ...knowing your new president is so stupid, he thinks,
   "the executive branch interprets the law?"

 After 13 months in office, it turns out Bush was right.
 He and his gang of illegal thugs will interpret the Consitution for us, too.

 You need to  Click  Here

 When you get there, click on Schlock n Roll for a great cartoon on
 how President Bunnypants has misappropriated the phrase "Let's Roll"

From: Rochesterjim@aol.com

Subject: GOP & Limbaugh Against Campaign Finance Reform

Rush Limbaugh spent 3 hours Thursday whining about the evils and inconsequential nature of the
recently passed bill on campaign finance reform.   Now which is it Rush, is it evil or inconsequential?
You can't have it both ways.

I suspect that he feels that the GOP will be hurt the most by this needed reform
and so that's why he complained so vehemently about the House vote.

Judging by the urgent fervor in his voice, I suspect that this legislation is good for America.
I also suspect that Bush will veto this bill so as not to cut off the endless supply of soft money to the GOP.

Jim in Rochester, MI

Remember, in 2000, Bush had unlimited money.
Team Bush was so totally drowning in cash, they refused matching federal funds.

...and the SOB still didn't win the election.

 Ann Coulter
 Setting an example for the rest
    by Bryan Zepp Jamieson

  Click  Here

 It’s easy to dismiss Coulter as a vicious nut.
 That’s because she is, in fact, a vicious nut.
 Her words prove that.

 This is far from the first time that she’s used rhetoric similar to
 that used by Adolf Hitler, and she’s already lost several jobs over it.

 IOC Goes Into Damage Control
 The "In" Rage by R.B. Ham
 USOC Wants Medal For Roy Jones (Vote in the poll)

 ...tons of stuff at 

 Has Julie Hiatt Steele called you?

 When you write/contribute to Julie, include your phone number and time zone.
 If she calls you, send me an e-mail about it.

 To write to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 To PayPal Julie, Click  Here  -> 

 ...and if you hear from her,  me.


 Marty gets Monkey Mail!
 Miss Cleo helps the White House spin machine.
 "Love Rocks" with Stipe and Bono
 No Doubt, Dave Letterman complains about the cold :)
 "Oh, Mr Greenfield" had his show dumped - good.   He turned whore a loooong time ago.
 Colin Powell demonstrates the proper way to apply a condom.  (I'm lying)

 ...all this and more in today's

TV Sweep weeks are underway
 That means it's fund-raising time here at  bartcop.com

 Isn't this the most pitiful "sweeps" ever?

 All the other networks have gone to repeats and movies.
 Why don't they stand up and fight the Olympics?
 What are they, Senate Democrats?

 We're supported by impoverished Democrats.
 We're so poor, my modem is two Dixie cups and a string.

 ...and we use the cups at mealtime!

 Please support  bartcop.com

Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
  PayPal to bartcop@bartcop.com
 .Support Bartcop.com
 snail mail to POBox 54466.... Tulsa,OK 74155

 Consumer Consumption


 “What it takes to live”

 Happy Birthday to...

 Jennifer Allan is 36       Ali Larter is 27

 Also born today:  Ice-T, good friend of my good friend Howie the K  (1958)  Beaver's dad (1909)
 Edgar Bergen (1903)  PittsburgH's Bus (1972) Mary Bono's previous husband (1935)
 Kunta Kinte/Giordi LaForge (1957) Cathy Freeman, the fastest gal down under (1973)

 True or False?

 Doherty, Shannen. Slut. Completely unpleasant person. Hypocritical conservative.
 Incredibly hard to work with. Has a long string of failed relationships and engagements.
 Breast implants. Linked with Heidi Fleiss--former worker for her? Recovering (current?)
 drug & alcohol addict. Drunk driver. Linked with Judd Nelson and Matthew Perry.

 Shannen is a big-time Republican, so all that could be true.
 Years ago, she threatened her fiance with forced anal sodomy in his own front lawn.
 He (George Hamilton's boy) choose not to marry her.

I spy an evil-doer.

Knock it off, moron.
Bart's hex has your head spinning.

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