Fair & balanced



Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

Julie's Rebuttal

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Volume 752 - Take Away my Doubt


Friday   March 22, 2002           Send Me an Angel            Recent old stuff            Shopping w/ Bart

 The real Whitewater shocker
    by Joshua Micah Marshall at  Salon.com

  Click  Here

 The independent counsel's report concedes there was no Clinton scandal,
 but details another one -- the role the first Bush administration played.

 The bin Laden/B.F.E.E. link
  a fast-loading audio-visual report

  Click  Here

 Whitman Says Counsel Spoke About Senate Bid
   by Raymond  Hernandez of the New York Times

  Click  Here

 Christie Whitman, the former governor of New Jersey, acknowledged that
 she and Robert Ray had talked briefly about his plans to run for the Senate
 in New Jersey while he was serving as the Whitewater independent counsel.

"I swore I was independent but all the time
  I was planning my GOP senate campaign.
  That makes me a liar and perjurer and
  I belong in jail just like BartCop says."

 From: Robin

 My lovely wife is now hopelessly addicted to Garbage.
"Special" is buzzing around her head at such a rate that I fear we'll
 have to seek medication, and even I must confess to occasionally
 hearing "Stupid Girl" running in the background of my day.

 If she likes Garbage, she'll like the soundtrack for Juliefest2002!


 That mailbox at mindspring.com isn't working out very well.
 We'd better go back to using   bartcop@bartcop.com

 I can only get it at night, but it beats not getting it at all.

 Going somewhere?  ...like, ...maybe ...Washington DC on April 27th?
 Use this link and they'll send me a nickle.

 So I met Greg Palast last night....

 I asked Palast if he knew of  bartcop.com.
 He said, "Bartcop.com, yeah it's great. They print my stuff sometimes."

 So there's a quote for BC.

 "Bartcop.com, yeah it's great." - Greg Palast

 E-mail sent from: http://www.geocities.com/theliberalmedia

 Worth another look...


  It gets funnier with every click

  OIC Makes It Official:
 Whitewater is Now a Republican Scandal
  from our good friends at buzzflash.com

  Click  Here

 Remember all of those Republicans gleefully accusing the Clintons of wrongdoing?
 Remember all those e-mails you received from your conservative brother-in-law
 with Whitewater accusations? It turns out that every bit of that was crap.

 If additional evidence existed, seven years, $70 million and a relentless
 investigation run by Clinton's enemies would have uncovered it.

 Yet the whores of the right and the Smirk-fawning press continue to talk about
 "Clinton's scandal-plagued administration" as tho there was something there.

 The most investigated man in all of history got a little tongue - that's it.
 Why was Clinton's zipper anybody's business?

 Meanwhile, the Bush Family Evil Empire has stolen our right to vote, shredded the
 Constitution, slapped away Freedom of Speech and the Freedom of Information Act,
 they're going thru the US Treasury like a kid on candy at Halloween, Ashcroft wants to
 make criticism a treasonous offense and on and on and on, but all the lazy-whore
 press can report is "Clinton's scandal-plagued administration."

 Final Word on Whitewater Probe Clears Clintons
   the Washington Ho Post      Thursday, March 21, 2002

  Click  Here

 Bill and Hillary Clinton made "factually inaccurate" statements to federal investigators
 during the eight-year Whitewater probe, but there was not enough evidence to prove
 the Clintons committed perjury or obstructed justice, according to the final report of
 the independent counsel released yesterday.

 What a load of crap.
 They tied the Clintons to a chair and for eight long years, FORCED them to answer every
 insulting and degrading intimate question that the sexually-frustrated Republican monsters
 could think of, just to see if any "factually inaccurate" statements might fall out.

 Hey, here's an idea...

 Let's hold the man some call president to that same standard.
 Let's try President Weak and Stupid in that chair for eight days and see how he does.
 Let's ask him about the abortion, going AWOL, Funeralgate, the rigged election,
 his secret children, how many times he's been arrested for cocaine and so on...

 The little snot would break like an Argentine savings and loan.

 From: Bill

 Subject: Bart Ideas Spreading to Academia

 Remember your plan for Israel to stop the suicide bombers?
 Looks like Alan Dershowitz has been reading bartcop.com


"The students were protesting a Mar. 11 op-ed in the Jerusalem Post in which Dershowitz
 suggested Israel issue a moratorium on retaliation from terrorist attacks for about five days.
 If terrorists then resumed their attacks, Dershowitz said, then for every attack Israel should
 bulldoze a Palestinian village that had been “used as a base for terrorist operations”
 —after giving the residents 24 hours to leave. In addition, he suggested that Israel
 announce a “waiting list” of villages to be bulldozed in the event of further terrorist attacks.

 Keep up the great work

 Hey, Alan's a smart man.

PS- Any plans to offer for sale (at a reasonable price, profits going to both Julie and BC)
          a BartCop Productions videotape of Juliefest2002?

 You betcha.
 The majority of readers can't get to DC, so we plan to have Video Boy put the whole night on film,
 perhaps with some behind-the-scenes "bonus footage,"  so those who were able to attend can
 watch it again and those who couldn't go can still get a slice of that Julie magic.

 I still need to find a distributor for the Julie Hiatt Steele action figures, tho...

 Did the Bush limit FBI investigations into al Qaeda
 because of pipeline negotiations with the Taliban?

  Click  Here

  This is kind of an old story, but we need to hammer it as long as
  the mainstream media outlets are covering up for the young Bush boy.

 Have you seen the Ozzy Osbourne show on MTV?

 It could burn out real quick, but that's because it's burning so hot right now.
 They make The Sopranos seem like broadcast TV.

 I haven't talked to anyone who hasn't said this is the coolest show on TV.
 It's easily the most honest show on TV.
 How honest is it?

 Ozzy's wife to one of their kids: "Stop doing that or I'll kick your fucking ass."
 Sure, they bleep the "..uc.." but you hear the "f__king" and I'm sorry, but it's damn funny.

 Watching a TV show with the family, the son innocently asks, "Who the fuck is Will Rogers?"

 The daughter gets a new haircut and asks Mom for her reaction.
 Mom says, "You're out of your fucking mind."

 Hey, I'm 48, I don't get a thrill out of hearing the "F" word, but you're not going to have any idea
 what I'm talking about until you see it. There'a an innocence to this wacked-out family.
 Mrs. BartCop has seen all three episodes and she says they rule.

 The kids fight, they have like eight dogs who always fight, maybe some cat's, too.
 In next week's TV Guide, Ozzy says the neighbors get too loud on New Year's Eve
 so he has to go next door "and kick some f-ing ass.   It's all on film, you'll see."

 I don't know when it's on, so maybe somebody could write?

 I'm bet Marty over at   is all over The Osbourne's.
 Speaking of...

 There is lots and lots of entertaining stuff at

 Marty has Oscar Fever!!
 Check her site for details, but I believe she's giving away a pound
 of the best-tasting pure milk chocolate in the whole world.

  for the person who can most accurately predict the Oscar winners.

 Since likely more than one person will win, maybe she'll devise
 a tie-breaker, like what time the credits roll when the broadcast is over.

 Don't miss out!
 Marty's E! page is the best, and so's the chocolate

Subject: Profanity

Dear BartCop,
        Like it or not, you have become a source of solace to many of us out here
Barrytown (see 'Count Zero'). As what you do gathers steam, I was wondering if you
might consider toning down the language of some of your more outrageous remarks.
Mind you, I think the outrageousness is great; it focuses the event.
But, the profanity tends to marginalize the quality of the critique.
        For instance, I  think that Ms. Steele would be an excellent candidate for
Senator (Representative first). But that would entail reaching the mass of Americans
who, for one reason or other, can't see the humor in profanity. The fact that most
of us do who read your site couldn't win an election for her and, as opposed to
His Might Incumberance, we would  have to elect her.

        Just a point for consideration.

 Funny, if you check some back issues, you might notice a gradual mellowing....
 I'm not trying to be crude, I just speak with fewer filters than most people.
 And it hasn't been said in a while, but compared to HBO comics, I'm cleaner than a Safeway chicken.

 Put another way, Julie deserves better than this, I agree,
 but right now, at least she has a voice, heard by dozens.

 Maybe some rich big shot will be checking out  bartcop.com  and read of Julie's misfortune
 and offer her some cushy $100k job where she can work on her book and get her story out
 and live happily ever after with just the bad memories of Republican fascism.

 ...just doing what I can.

 An Evening with Julie Hiatt Steele
  April 27th in Washington D.C.

 Click  Here  New Total 

 Write to Julie at   PO Box 1351, Virginia Beach, VA 23451

 E-mail to Julie, use juliehiattsteele@bartcop.com

 PayPal to Julie, Click  Here  ->

 To buy tickets to Julifest2002,
  Make payments with PayPal - it's fast, free and secure!
    PayPal to  bartcop@bartcop.com
  OR .Snail mail to bartcop.com, PO Box 54466. Tulsa, OK  74155

 If you send me anything send your phone number
 Send Juliefest inquires/confirmations to  Juliefest2002@yahoo.com

 36 days from today.

We've almost got our West Coast Sweep for Juliefest

Larry Tooth from San Diego says he's coming. 
We're trying to convince BartCop E!'s Marty in Los Angeles to fly in,
and Tally Briggs in Los Angeles is checking airline schedules.  
Marc Perkel (D-Framed) from San Francisco is coming.
Perkel defensive coordinator Michele the BartCook is coming from Portland.

Southwest Airlines is doing their "friends fly free" program, and they fly to Baltimore,
so that means airfare has dropped in half if you're trying to get to Juliefest 2002!

If the West Coast Sweeps  you East Coast people will need to step up.

You can still get in for a mere $50, ...but tick tock...

 Don't forget to check 

 How's your basketball team doing?

 Christian right attacks Bush's secrecy

 Click  Here

                                 How about some hemp panties?

                                                  click   to  order   Buy 3, get free shipping

 Hi, I'm Ken Starr and I'm going to prison with Robert Ray.
 You see, we lied and lied about Kathleen Willey being credible,
 and when Ray released the final report, he clearly stated that we
 were unable to rely on her testimony because she was a big liar.

 So why did we terrorize Julie Hiatt Steele for four years?
 Why did we have our goons call her sister and threaten her?
 Why did we look into little Adam's adoption?

 Part of it is because we're partisan bastards who hate Bill Clinton
 and Julie got in the way of our destroy-Clinton project, so we had to
 scare her into playing ball but dammit, ...she just wouldn't scare.

 So now we've been caught obstructing justice and tampering with
 witnesses and suborning perjury and we're totally screwed.

 Bart's going to do this to me and I can't blame him.
 I'm a guilty bastard and I belong in prison.
 Please God, don't let him use the BartCop chainsaw on me."



 "Legal" has asked to see the hotel contract before we sign it,
  so we may not officially book the room until Tuesday or Wednesday,
  Only one days left to get Juliefest2002 tickets for just $50
  If your snail mail is postmarked the 20th, that'll be OK.
  But if you want the fancy appetizers, $75 is your price
  C'mon, meeting Julie is worth more like $300.
  Paying $100 is a bargain, paying $75 is a steal.
  so paying just $50 is downright ridiculous.

 Tune in tomorrow for our special Saturday edition when we'll have two special treats.
 1. We're going to expose a Christian hypocrite.
     And when I say "expose," I don't mean with facts & figures - nooooo.
     I think we might even call this feature "Laura II," except her name is "Christine"
     and she works for Brent Bozell over at Christian News Service.

 2. The story of the Screaming Eagles, but it's not what you think.

      Plus, we plan to catch up on the mail and the donation list.

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