Fair & balanced



Julie's Thanks

The Gambler

Leave it to BartCop

Let's Not Roll

Kiss My Ass

Cheney Leaving?

Ich bin ein Enroners

A Slut Named Laura

The Myth of the
Liberal Media

Julie's Rebuttal

by Bruce Yurgil

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Volume 760 - Go Pick a Plum


Saturday   March 30, 2002           Send Me an Angel      Recent old stuff     Shopping w/ Bart


"Smoking a joint at home is less dangerous than drinking and driving."
  -- French Prime Minister Lionel Jospin

 "That kind of talk is irresponsible."
  -- supporters of Jospin's rival for the presidency, Jacques Chirac

 I'm getting a lot of "weenie mail" over the screaming eagles question.

 "I can't believe you're so stupid."

 "I never new you were a Jew-hater."

 "How can you be so ignorant?"

 Like with most debates that I join, everybody refuses to answer the damn question.
 The question is,

"Do you want to see your children to grow up
  or would you rather live on a certain pile of sand?"

 You can argue over the validity or relativity of the question,
 but when you flat-out refuse to answer it, it just proves I'm right.

 The truth is, people put their religion before their children's safety and
 that's pure insanity but nobody has the balls to use plain English
 and say what they really mean so they hide behind "you hate the Jews."

 For the 1,000th time, I'm not religious, I don't have a horse in that race.
 I just think it's absurd to die for shitty real estate for no goddamn reason.

 I've gotten several mails asking, "Should New Yorkers leave the state
 because Atta drove planes into the WTC?" which is horseshit.

 If New York was surrounded by 150 million people who were religiously
 insane and whose single goal was the death of every New Yorker, then yes,
 I'd choose my kids over Manhattan Island like any sane person would.
 Don't you people love your kids?

 Here is Israel's priority list, as it appears to me:

 1. Please the invisible ghost in the clouds and fight for the sacred sand.
 2. Protect the lives of our children.

 I'm not religious and I have no kids.
 Maybe that enables me to look at the situation with a colder, more logical
 perspective than some, but why isn't saving lives Number One?

 Religion is the problem.
 Religion is always the problem.


 Subject: Bush is a complete failure...

 Dear Bartcop:

 I thought I was the only person on the planet who saw these Republican freaks the way you do,
 eight years ago I saw it coming.  God Bless you, you are the "only" person who has ever gotten it right.

 I voted for Clinton twice, even after having voted Republican prior to that.  But something changed in the
 Republican party somewhere along the first Bush administration, whereas Reagan wasn't a "bad mouther"
 and had a certain level of class and fair play, something changed. The Republican party we see today is
 a freakish form of Nazi attitudes and propaganda.  I have never seen a more putrid group of pea witted
 idiots ever.  These freaks, even after having lost the twin towers, lost the Mid East peace process,
 destroyed the economy, returned us to deficit spending, reversed gains for the environment, and ruined
 American faith in the voting system and the court system by cheating and getting the corrupt supreme
 court to vote their losing candidate in, has got the press still worried about what a Democrat might do.

 The only crime Clinton ever did was cheat on his wife, which is bad enough, but not to the level the GOP
 dragged it for seven years.  There was never a root crime for Clinton to have been questioned in the first
 place (all based on if Clinton made a move on  Paula Jones as Governor). And here's the most scary part,
 the stupid ass American press and public thinks these guys are the good guys, so they lavish praise on the
 dumbest fxxxing president this country has ever had inflicted on it.  The guy has never accomplished
 anything in his whole life, and still isn't.  The afghan war is being won by the armed services who are a
 result of the Clinton presidency.  A fxxxing Monkey could sit in the White House and watch the U.S.
 military and the Northern Alliance win a war against the Taliban.  And the U.S. moronic public gives
 the Monkey an 80% approval rating, for ruining the economy, deficit spending, oil prices up, ecology
 down, global warming up, wars around the world and U.S. casualties up ect...

 Can the press just once start a broadcast this way: "Our idiot president is destroying our country."
 Please God, why are we inflicted with a dork with an IQ of 50?


Subject: The Osbournes on MTV


The show is on Tuesdays at 10:30PM ET. I am sure they re-run it at other
times, though I am clueless on exactly when. I will say that program is one
of the funniest I have ever seen.

Last week, the daughter was complaining to a totally crisped-out Ozzy that the
mother made her a gynecologist appointment. Then, the mother was throwing
various foodstuffs (such as a huge ham and large baguette breads) at the neighbors
who were making noise at 2AM.

In one episode the dogs are crapping on the floor and all Ozzy can do is call
"Sharon, Sharon!", for the wife to solve the problem. It's a hoot.


Emily, I'm really old, and I can't ever remember a show as widely praised as the Ozzy show.
Every single opinion I've heard or read has said the same thing - it's the funniest show on TV

 Liberal Media?

 Recently I read something that further disproves the "liberal media" hoax.

 Is there anyone reading this who thinks the press are not whores?
 Is there anyone who thinks the primary goal of the press is NOT making money?

 Without a doubt, by a thousand-to-one margin, bin Laden HAD to be TIME's
 Man of the Year last year - or maybe the WTC is still standing and I'm just mixed up.

 The reason TIME played the whore and wimped out was money - pure and simple.
 The press will ALWAYS take the moiney before the truth, the facts, fairness - anything.

me RIGHT NOW if you think the press is not a collection of whores.

 There is no such thing as "diveristy of opinion" in the press.
 The press is owned by six corporations whose ONLY goal is more money.
 They are going to print the stories that make money.

 They are NOT going to print the truth if it might cost them a nickle
 which the TIME debacle made clear even to Stevie Wonder.

 The press is big business.
 Big business has always been on the side of the Republicans.
 Big business has never been on the side of liberals, the little guy or the truth.
 Big business donated a hundred million to Governor Bush so he'd do exactly what they wanted.
 The press is big business - Bush owns them, and they own Bush.

 THAT is why the press spent nine years rooting around in Clinton's pants over
 horseshit that was nobody's business, but it made money for them.
 Selling stolen weapons to terrorists, then lying about it, then committing perjury about it,
 then pardoning the guilty was treated as no big deal by the American whore press.

 THAT is why they refuse to print the truth about the abortion Governor Bush paid for,
 his going AWOL during wartime, his cocaine arrests and his hidden arrest records.
 They refuse to mention his corrupt crime family stealing the White House with help from
 a crooked Supreme Court, and stealing hundreds of billions of social security dollars from
 our pockets not to mention the hundreds who had to die to make them rich.
 They refuse to mention why we've lost the Bill of Rights and they don't question the governor's
 never-ending war that requires secrecy as his family plunders treasuries around the globe.

 ...not to mention his complete and total inability to think or speak without a script.

 If the whore press can make $10,000,000.00 telling the truth or $10,000,000.05 by lying,
 the greedy bastards will sell naked pictures of their mothers for that extra nickle every time.

 Write and tell me that isn't true.

me right now and tell me I've got it all wrong.


From: Peaceone2002

If the colonists were losing 50 people a day to the redcoats,
would they consider leaving Massachusetts?

If the palefaces were losing 500 people a day to Cherokee raiding parties,
would they consider leaving Oklahoma?

If the settlers were losing 5000 people a day to Santana's troops,
would they consider leaving Tejas?

What price ignorance?

...only if they wanted their kids alive.

You can not compare other situations to Israel.
Texas is a hundred times bigger than Israel.
Texas could never be surrounded by 150 million religiously insane Texas-haters.
I wish people would stop comparing Israel to anything.

Let's try it this way - complete this sentence:

"I raised my children in murderous territory because..."

When you complete that sentence for me, your position will be clear.

 ...and as far as that "ignorance" crack, MY kids would still be alive,
 and I'd be sending you a sad note after your child's funeral.

The best laid plans of mice, men and George W Bush.
A small man with a bottle who wanted to be a dictator.
George Bush, now just a part of a smashed landscape,
just a piece of rubble, just a fragment of what man has
deeded to himself. George Bush ...in the Twilight Zone.

(with compliments to Rod Serling)

Subject: UK Reporter Delves Deep into FL Stolen Black Votes

Dear Bartcop:

I looked all over your website and didn't see a link to the fine reporting done by
Greg Palast (www.gregpalast.com), about how prior to the 2000 election,
Jeb Bush paid DBT, a Texas company with close ties to the Texas GOP $4.3 million
dollars to cull the voter rolls of thousands of Florida blacks as felons though they were
guilty only of misdemeanors or were otherwise misidentified and never reinstated.

Am I missing something? Did you already feature all of this?


Moe, it's hard for me to keep going over Florida.
Nobody cares, not even the Democrats.
The Democrats would rather cave in than fight back.
Gore won the election but he refused to fight for it - like he promised he would.
Florida is just one of those things that the whore press continues to coverup.
That's how Governor Bush was able to call the press into his hotel room
after the networks called the election for Gore an GUARANTEE he'd win Florida.

It was always in the script, even before we lost the right to vote.

Besides, the Bush Family will probably murder Greg Palast.
They've already sued him (and won) for telling the truth about them.

But if somebody wants to read the story:

 The Great Florida Ex-Con Game
 How the "Felon" Voter-Purge was Itself Felonious
    by Greg Palast

  Click  Here

 Ann Coulter ridicule,   Ashcroft ridicule,   TV stuff,   Grammy stuff,
 Oprah dissing Governor Bush,   Robin Williams,   Sam Jackson,   Erin Hart,
 Bruce Springsteen,   Disco Duck vs Howard Stern,   Martha Stewart's big mistake,
 and my favorite - what it's like doing a nude scene with Angie Harmon...

 There's always something good at 


From: JLavery

You wrote:

>"The violence will end when Israelis love their
>  children more than they love that pile of sand."

Where are they supposed to go, Bart? For thousands of years they've had to "move"
from one country to another, one continent to another, because people who didn't want them
made sure they kept "losing people" until they either left or there were no more of them remaining.

Should they listen to the BartCop Final Solution and pack up and leave
only to find themselves ghetto'd and exterminated in another land AGAIN?
If they're not allowed to stay in their own land I don't think they'd be welcomed in any other (as usual).

"The BartCop Final Solution?"
What an incredibly cheap shot from an old friend.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Did religious insanity cause you to attack your old friend and compare me to Hitler
because I asked why they prefer their pile of sand to their children's safety?

They can move to fucking Oklahoma.
You think there are a lot of Palestinian suicide bombers in Oklahoma?

Am I the only sane man left?

The invisible ghost in the clouds wants us to stay in the land of daily suicide bombers?

I am considering changing the cornerstone of BartCopism,
which has always been equal rights for blacks and gays,
to the stamping out of religious insanity wherever it festers.

"Take your son, your only son Isaac,
  whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah,
  and offer him there as a burnt offering."
     -- God, Genesis 22.2

    -- BartCop

bartcop.com  mirrors





...in case Ashcroft tries to pull something.

"Your time's coming, Funnyboy"

 Don't forget to check 

 Will Oklahoma take it all?

 From: Chris

 im a republican, therefore i'm white male racist bigoted homophobe etc etc ad nauseam

 even i get tired of rush. he says the same predictable thing over and over again.
 though he says he aims to educate, he uses kindergarden level teaching techniques.
 you can get the gist of his show in like 5 minutes.

 i love your site though.  you don't hear *any* of this stuff on tv or radio.
 i wish the GOP could find one decent man among its ranks.
 If Bush is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.

 - white racist bigot homophobe capitalist swine student going into immense debt in law school

 Chris, that was funny as hell.
 Thanks for having a sense of humor,


 I just got back from buying my JulieFest2002 costume.
 I spent $80 - I'm going to look sharper than Maureen Dowd's tongue.

 I had a really cute alterations lady, too.
 I was hoping she'd check my inseem, like Joey on Friends, but no.

Subject: Israel

> "The violence will end when Israelis love their
>  children more than they love that pile of sand."

Dear Bartcop:

I love your site, but your ignorance is showing on Israel.
I don't believe you are mean-spirited, just naive.
Re your quote: sounds snappy, but what does it really mean?
First and foremost, where would you have the Israelis go?


<lotta snippage>

Ask yourself what kind of people send their children out to be killed over and over again?

Palestinians and Jews, over and over again, Jews and Palestinians.

<lotta snippage>

And again ask yourself, where are the Israelis to go, Bartcop?  Where?
They have no place else to go.  And they know it.

Dawn in Florida

Dawn, they can go anywhere they want.  They have money, they have airplanes.
If they would put down their Bible and their Koran we'd have peace in the Middle East.
If they had done this last year, we'd still have the WTC, all those people and the Bill of Rights.

Someone told me the other day that America gives $8 billion each year to both Israel and Egypt.
In ten years, that's $160 billion that could build "New Israel" in western Oklahoma.

The ONLY thing stopping this from happening is religious insanity.

Yes, I'm the naive, ignorant guy whose kids are all still alive.
They're alive because I put their safety before the invisible ghost's whims.

How about a hemp/cotton t-shirt?

click   to  order  Buy 3, get free shipping

Subject: Bartcop - True American!

Greetings from the Left Coast!   Bart, we love you here in Los Angeles and
think you're doing a wonderful service to America.  Unfortunately, funds
being tight, my friends and I cannot make it to JulieFest.

In the meantime, if you offer videos of JulieFest for sale, I'll be the first to buy it.
I'm envious of those going, but thrilled that it's happening!

Best to you and Mrs. Bartcop.


Bev, thanks for that.
Yes, we plan to offer videos of JulieFest.

Subject: Bad Political Strategy

I love your web site but your position on Israel rubs me the wrong way.
Don't get trapped in a position of political opposition with the Republicans.

Ranting that Israelis should move rather than fight for their homeland is a lot like
giving America back to the Indians. Everyone has the right to exist and have a homeland.

Besides, you are splitting from the Democratic Leadership on this Issue.
Tom Daschle's tone is full support for the War on Terror (In which Israel
is an important ally) and whose criticism is not against a War on Terror
but rather the Leader's direction, focus, and goals of the campaign.


Asa, first, IF the Republicans are right about something, I'm not going to
take a wrong position just so I can be on a different side from them.

Second, you can't compare America to Israel.

Last, if Israel moved to Oklahoma, there'd be peace.

Moving every Israeli to Oklahoma would be cheaper and easier
than putting a man on the moon.  Hell, we did that thirty years ago.

Thursday 3/28 edition:

> "Please God, don't let me stumble into great wealth, because I wouldn't have time
>  to write this page AND complain eighteen hours a day about how high my taxes were. "

Huh-larious.   It's been a couple months since I caught an edition
but now I remember why you need to stay on my required reading list...

Keep up the good work.


Subject: About Face?

A few weeks ago I detected a strong pro-Israeli position in reacting to continued suicide bombings
You said, and I agree, that Israel should announce their reserving the option of taking action against acts
of future violence visited on them by Palestinian anarchists/terrorists.  The level of reciprocity would
increase on continued terror acts.  I think a fair and justifiable position for any recognized state to defend itself.

Today you made references to "flying eagles" and a cryptic statement,
"The violence will end when Israelis love their children more than they love that pile of sand."

Two questions:

(1)  Where does the State of Israel go?
(2)  Has GWB turned you????


1. Oklahoma
2. Yes, I am now Governor Bush's personal puppet.

By the way, could somebody send me a list of 1,000 reasons
why moving every Israeli to Oklahoma would NOT work?

Suggesting ways to effectively fight a war is helpful if religious insanity rules the day.
If religious insanity is rejected, Israel could move and nobody else would die.

They could have peace in the Middle East, but they don't want it bad enough.

By the way, if we had peace in the Middle East, gas would be 25 cents a gallon.
Please, please somebody argue with me on that.

 I found a note that I wrote to myself, probably within the last year,
 that says, "Thank James Langdell for the TIVO shows."

 Thanks, James

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